Phone Rules for Back to School: Tips from a Frustrated Mom

[pampered.chris]

So I am ready for my daughter to go back to school. I was flipping through the caller ID tonight looking for my sister's cell number, I don't know it b/c she just changed it again. And saw about 3 names and numbers of customers in there this week. I never had a msg on the machine or a note on the notepad about it. My DD and I have discussed the phone MANY times (she is 11) where during the day she does NOT listen to the msgs on the machine and she does not answer the phone unless it is a friend or me calling. The reason she is not to listen to the machine is b/c it will no longer blink and sometimes she deletes them w/o me ever knowing they are there. I want her back in school like yesterday. She has one week left. Agh!!
Anyhow, I can't call anyone back tonight b/c it is after 9pm here and there is that "rule" so I have to wait until tomorrow and apologize to these women about my daughter not giving me the message. I am so frustrated!!

What do all of you have for Phone rules?!

 

[JAE]

Everytime I come home I ask my kids if anyone called. They aren't supposed to answer the phone when I'm not home, but they always do answer it. So, before I leave I tell them if they are going to answer the phone, they have to be willing to neatly write a message. Otherwise, they need to just let the voice mail answer it. I really don't leave them home alone very often or for very long. They are 11 and almost 13, both are boys.

 

[Flamingo]

I personally use my cell phone for my business. No way for anyone else to answer....

 

[chefann]

Could you turn the ringer off whenever you go out, so they don't even hear the phone? And put the answering machine where the kids can't get to it.I can't even imagine kids answering the phone. We weren't allowed to do that until we were 15, with severe penalties if Mom and Dad found out.

 

[pampered.chris]

I guess I should also say that she does have a babysitter that is here w/ her. She isn't alone.

I have thought about using just my cell but my BF and I are on a plan together and he uses his phone for work also and I think that if we both did, we would really have to step up our plan. I will have to ask him about that.

I did just re-mention to my DD that she is not to answer the phone unless it is me or one of her friends calling.

 

[KellyTheChef]

So...is the babysitter answering the phone and not taking messages, or your daughter?

If it's your daughter, I would threaten with grounding her from something important to her if she can't take a proper message or stay off the phone.

 

[pamperedlinda]

Your DD and my DH have the same problem! He usually doesn't answer the phone b/c he can't remember to give me messages.

 

[kcjodih]

My DD is 13 and my DS is 11 and they are NOT allowed to answer the phone while we are at work unless it is for them (their friend) or my DH or myself (they know both or our work #'s and our cell #'s) and we have call display. These rules are to messages saved like yourself so the phone doesn't blink and I only see them when I scroll through days later or messages 'forgotten' and not written down.

When the rule is broken, punishment is handed out. For DD it's losing the computer for the day (she only gets it 2 hours a day in the summer so it's precious to her) and for DS it's his video games (same rule - 2 hours/day in summer, one hour during school). It only took once for them to 'get it'!

Good luck!

BTW, I personally wouldn't turn the ringers off because then I couldn't reach them when I wanted/needed to, but that's just me.

 

[benjamin.flatt]

i would not use a landline for my business... also you could forward all landline calls to your cell when you leave... i know that it would be an extra thing to do before you leave, but you don't have to worry about missing that very important business calls!

 

[raebates]

My concern with forwarding calls or turning off the ringer would be that you couldn't contact your own home if you needed to. My father was an insurance salesman when I was growing up. I learned to answer the phone and take a message from the time I could write. My son did the same thing. Eleven isn't too young. Here are a couple of suggestionsoes she get an allowance? Charge her for every missed message. Does she have friends who call? Every missed message results in one "I'm sorry, Susie can't talk to you today. Try again tomorrow," when a friend of hers calls.Every missed message results in 30 minutes less computer/tv time for that day.Every person has a currency. For my son it was money at one point. At another it was time with friends. Find hers and you'll have leverage. Trust me, when it costs her to forget, she'll start remembering.

 

[pampered.chris]

Great advice everyone!! Thanks!!

Forwarding calls and having them go to my cell are not options during my workday b/c I can not have PC calls and personal calls at work. Also as I mentioned above, my BF uses his cell for work and I know it takes up the majority of the minutes on our plan and I don't want to upgrade again, we already pay for the extras he needs for work on our plan (Motorola Q is his phone) and work only reimburses him $75 towards our $200 bill.

I have tried the whole take a message thing and that hasn't worked, so I am going to start "taking away" time from computer and friends if it continues!! Thanks so much!!

 

[BethCooks4U]

We share our cell minutes between 3 people so I don't use it much for business either. We solved the problem of me not getting messages (DH is the worse) by getting a second ring tone on our line. When my number is called the ring sounds different and everyone knows to leave it go to machine. That made the world of difference and it is very inexpensive.

The problem is that caller ids show the home number so when my customers call me back they just hit the id and DH answers because it was his ring. If I could do it over again I would have my PC number be the primary one and that wouldn't be an issue.

We are now thinking of Vonage or some other such plan. Anyone have advice about that?

 

[vwpamperedchef]

I didnt read all the replies, but how about since you have caller ID only allow her to answer it when she KNOWS who is calling. This way all other calls go to your machine. HTH!

 

[Chef Michelle D]

My DS is 9 and does not answer the phone yet. I am thinking about having him start answering it when it's just us or family/friends calling. But my DH is the worst at not giving me messages. I wish I could give him a punishment for not giving me messages, I even ask him if I have been out "did anyone call" he will say "no" then later in the day I will get a call from someone "why didn't you call me back". It drives me crazy!!!

 

[kcjodih]

My DS is 9 and does not answer the phone yet. I am thinking about having him start answering it when it's just us or family/friends calling. But my DH is the worst at not giving me messages. I wish I could give him a punishment for not giving me messages, I even ask him if I have been out "did anyone call" he will say "no" then later in the day I will get a call from someone "why didn't you call me back". It drives me crazy!!!

LOL, I could think of a punishment or two

 

[KellyTheChef]

LOL, I could think of a punishment or two

Jodi...you sound like me talking to my DH! Poor guy doesn't know WHAT to do with a hormonal preggo lady! One day I am talking like that...the next day he's not allowed to touch me!! lol

 

[pamperedpals]

My DS is 9 and does not answer the phone yet. I am thinking about having him start answering it when it's just us or family/friends calling. But my DH is the worst at not giving me messages. I wish I could give him a punishment for not giving me messages, I even ask him if I have been out "did anyone call" he will say "no" then later in the day I will get a call from someone "why didn't you call me back". It drives me crazy!!!

My DH is also the worst. He will someone called for you and I politely ask "Did you take a message?; or who was it?" I get, "what am I your secretary?" Hello, you don't like to answer the phone anyways, so you answer it and don't take a message.

Most times, I can go back on caller id and find the number, but sometimes, it doesn't show up.

 

[Chef Michelle D]

I will look back on caller ID and say "oh so so and so called" he will say "yes I forgot to tell you".

My DH also comes home for lunch most days and will listen to the messages. Then I come home and if I don't see the red lite flashing I assume there is no messages. So then maybe a few hours later my DH will say did you listen to the messages. Or someone will call back and say "I left a message". I want to kill him for listening then not tell me. He says you should always press the botton to listen to them, I say you should just leave them if you are not going to call them back or tell me about them.

9 times out of 10 the messages are for me so why are you listening to them. It's a good thing I love him because he drives me crazy!!!

 

[pampered.chris]

Now everyone is making me nervous. My BF and I are thinking about renting out his house and him moving into mine...I can't have more missed calls!!

 

[Jenni]

This is why I use my cell as my business line! I have a 14 year old son who would never tell me.... kids!

 

[Jenni]

Great advice everyone!! Thanks!!

Forwarding calls and having them go to my cell are not options during my workday b/c I can not have PC calls and personal calls at work. Also as I mentioned above, my BF uses his cell for work and I know it takes up the majority of the minutes on our plan and I don't want to upgrade again, we already pay for the extras he needs for work on our plan (Motorola Q is his phone) and work only reimburses him $75 towards our $200 bill.

I have tried the whole take a message thing and that hasn't worked, so I am going to start "taking away" time from computer and friends if it continues!! Thanks so much!!

$200. bill HOLY COW! I pay $68 with taxes for unlimited anytime minutes and free long distance! He must have some internet going on with his phone. My husband has limited minutes and internet and his bill is more then mine, but he had to have the new Iphone.

 

[merego]

My teenager does not tell me when people call nor does he write down messages. I use my cell phone for business, but some people do call me at home. The threat of grounding ( especially on a Friday night) has made him not answer the phone anymore.

 

[kcjodih]

I also had a rule that they weren't allowed to answer the phone AT ALL until they were 6 or 7. Then they had to answer, "Hello this is ____ speaking?" Then, "One moment please". Then the most important, cover the mouthpiece and call me calmly and if I don't answer - come and find me! Don't EVER holler MOM phone etc.

I hated and still do calling and getting a child who would throw the phone down, or holler for the person I was calling, or start talking to me like we were long lost pals or the really young ones talking jibberish! So mine have to speak politely, cover mouthpiece and call me nicely, or place the phone down gently and come and get me (since THEY chose to answer the phone in the first place!)

Sounds rather strict (and it probably is) but I've had many friends, family and customers state how delightful/polite my children are on the phone and my almost 14yo DD still answers the phone to this day even from her friends with "Hello, this is ___ speaking"

 

[Addie4TLC]

I also had a rule that they weren't allowed to answer the phone AT ALL until they were 6 or 7. Then they had to answer, "Hello this is ____ speaking?" Then, "One moment please". Then the most important, cover the mouthpiece and call me calmly and if I don't answer - come and find me! Don't EVER holler MOM phone etc.

I hated and still do calling and getting a child who would throw the phone down, or holler for the person I was calling, or start talking to me like we were long lost pals or the really young ones talking jibberish! So mine have to speak politely, cover mouthpiece and call me nicely, or place the phone down gently and come and get me (since THEY chose to answer the phone in the first place!)

Sounds rather strict (and it probably is) but I've had many friends, family and customers state how delightful/polite my children are on the phone and my almost 14yo DD still answers the phone to this day even from her friends with "Hello, this is ___ speaking" "D

How cute! I Like that. Manners are scarce now a days... I get comments like that a lot too about how polite and well spoken my kids are and I feel like asking, "and why are yours brats??"

 

[kcjodih]

How cute! I Like that. Manners are scarce now a days... I get comments like that a lot too about how polite and well spoken my kids are and I feel like asking, "and why are yours brats??"

LOL, don't get me wrong - my children are NO angels (are any? ) However it IS nice to hear from the teachers etc "___ is such a polite and thoughtful child" I like to have fun with them initially though and say something like 'I'm sorry, you must be mistaken I said I was _____'s mom. Who are you talking about? Always gets a laugh

 

[Sheila]

They make answering machines with mailboxes. I bought one for my friend several years ago because she never got messages when I called. So their outgoing message was: Press 1 for Dad, press 2 for Mom, press 3 for teenage daughter. That allows teenager to come in & press 3 for her messages, Dad to press 1 for his messages & there's no reason why either one should be pressing #2 for Mom's messages. It worked like a charm!

 

[raebates]

I also had a rule that they weren't allowed to answer the phone AT ALL until they were 6 or 7. Then they had to answer, "Hello this is ____ speaking?" Then, "One moment please". Then the most important, cover the mouthpiece and call me calmly and if I don't answer - come and find me! Don't EVER holler MOM phone etc.

I hated and still do calling and getting a child who would throw the phone down, or holler for the person I was calling, or start talking to me like we were long lost pals or the really young ones talking jibberish! So mine have to speak politely, cover mouthpiece and call me nicely, or place the phone down gently and come and get me (since THEY chose to answer the phone in the first place!)

Sounds rather strict (and it probably is) but I've had many friends, family and customers state how delightful/polite my children are on the phone and my almost 14yo DD still answers the phone to this day even from her friends with "Hello, this is ___ speaking"

Those were basically our rules, too--even before I had a PC business.

They make answering machines with mailboxes. I bought one for my friend several years ago because she never got messages when I called. So their outgoing message was: Press 1 for Dad, press 2 for Mom, press 3 for teenage daughter. That allows teenager to come in & press 3 for her messages, Dad to press 1 for his messages & there's no reason why either one should be pressing #2 for Mom's messages. It worked like a charm!

I have one of those. We have #1 for a personal message for Chris or Rae, #2 for anything PC-related, or #3 for Shawn. I have a lot of people who call, wait for the entire message to be done, wait for the recording to start, and say, "Is this recording? I didn't know which button to push. . . . "

It always makes me laugh, because you probably know whether your call involves PC or not. LOL!

 

[Addie4TLC]

LOL, don't get me wrong - my children are NO angels (are any? ) However it IS nice to hear from the teachers etc "___ is such a polite and thoughtful child" I like to have fun with them initially though and say something like 'I'm sorry, you must be mistaken I said I was _____'s mom. Who are you talking about? Always gets a laugh

That's funny. The other day we were invited to a dinner where there were several families, when we were done eating my daughter helped pick up the plates and started to wash them. People were so impressed. So was I!! I can barely get her to pick up her own dish at home sometimes!

Back to the topic... My kids are 12 & 11 (boy, girl) they are to check the caller ID before picking up, if they don't recognize the number they let the answering machine get it. I have sometimes called from other numbers and they don't pick up unless I say "It's me, pick up the phone." I don't miss any messages this way.