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[kspry]

...some kind of papers would be good to have


heh.

 

[PamperedDor]

Great story Becky!!!

 

[legacypc46]

Ummmm, lets just say that he can identify a Barry song when it comes on the radio now.

That's the way DH is about some of my favorites too. Gotta love 'em.

 

[Michelle's Kitchen]

MichellesKitchen,
I apologize for the repulsiveness of the post two down for yours.

There is no need to apologize for someone elses ignorance..

 

[Kitchen Diva]

I added her to my ignore list. Now I don't even see her posts. I am very upset that someone would come on here and just start calling someone an idiot, etc...

I do feel that after her first unkind and unecessary post back on the 2nd or 3rd page that we should have just dropped it and not spoken ill of her. I believe that gave her fuel to come back and spread her vile and anger.

Thanks KG and Janet and Diane for telling me about ignore. I did it just in time. There wre 4 or 5 other posts she submitted that I didn't have to read, or get upset about prior to going to church this a.m.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

I added her to my ignore list. Now I don't even see her posts. I am very upset that someone would come on here and just start calling someone an idiot, etc...I do feel that after her first unkind and unecessary post back on the 2nd or 3rd page that we should have just dropped it and not spoken ill of her. I believe that gave her fuel to come back and spread her vile and anger.

Thanks KG and Janet and Diane for telling me about ignore. I did it just in time. There wre 4 or 5 other posts she submitted that I didn't have to read, or get upset about prior to going to church this a.m.

If it were a one time instance, that may be true, and I would agree...but this is pretty consistent behavior.

 

[lkprescott]

Thanks for the link. As soon as my slow dial-up connects me to the site, I'll sign up. The Furry Guy and I will celebrate 23 years together on March 30. I once told him that being married to me wouldn't always be fun, but it would never be dull. He says I didn't lie.

I often think it's too easy to divorce. I like what Dr. Phil says--you should be able to tell those who ask that you did everything possible to keep your marriage alive. (Abuse of any kind (substance, physical, emotional, etc.) is a deal-breaker, of course.)

I think it's too easy to get married, personally. I got married to my ex way too easy... thinking he'd change if we got married (he didn't) and then when we had DS (again, he didn't)... sadly he's ruining his relationships with his kids and family (happens to a lot of alcoholics that are barreling down the shaft of self-destruction)... it was a short marriage but one in which I learned a lot about life, relationships and addiction.

DH and I put a lot more time and thought into our life together before we got married. It'll be 7 years for us this year... his third marriage and really he woulda stayed with his 2nd wife 'forever' had she not been so abusive...

 

[lkprescott]

Ok, is that total or this round?

A guy at work always INSISTS on clarifying that he's been married 20 years but only 9 to this wife.

We have friends who were married, divorced for 5 years then got back together. They've been married about 30 years total (to each other).

That's weird.. DH doesn't total his time married... not together. He has a total for each and of course with me, he's still counting...

 

[janetupnorth]

That's weird.. DH doesn't total his time married... not together. He has a total for each and of course with me, he's still counting...

You have to know him, that is just him. He really means it more jokingly. He was crushed by his first wife. He got married at 20, had two wonderful boys and one day she packed up and left. He did not want a divorce at all and fought it for a few years.

He is now remarried and had a little girl and all 3 kids are doing great.

His wife got remarried and is miserable...she picked a VERY lazy, messy guy...and he had to pull his sons out of her house because this guy punched the one boy (age 16) and the other (age 17) stepped in between them and it could have gotten messy if they boys didn't have the fortitude to step in a car and get out of there.

 

[janetupnorth]

From a legal perspective...especially in the event of a sudden death...some kind of papers would be good to have. The state courts really won't care what you or your partner would have wanted, just what you have documented. Not having papers makes the settlement of an estate a nightmare...what you may think of as yours, may not be in the eyes of the law.So whether said with 'tough love' or a less personal way, you may want to find out what would happen in the event of a tragedy. [Of course, you may already have done this.]leggy

That is all true, but from her statement, she was referring to marriage papers. They may very well have everything else in line for the sake of the child.I'm sure she is wise enough to make good decisions. ...and wise enough to ignore derrogatory comments.Hey Leggy, tell us your story, or did I miss it?

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

That's weird.. DH doesn't total his time married... not together. He has a total for each and of course with me, he's still counting...

When I do that, it's only for the humor value. While some people might think this is too sacred of a subect to joke about - I have news for you. There is no situation in life so serious, so sacred or so solemn that it has no humor in it anywhere.

Don't take life so seriously - you're never going to get out of it alive, anyway.

 

[janetupnorth]

When I do that, it's only for the humor value. While some people might think this is too sacred of a subect to joke about - I have news for you. There is no situation in life so serious, so sacred or so solemn that it has no humor in it anywhere.

Don't take life so seriously - you're never going to get out of it alive, anyway.

Yeah, DH has a sign that says: "Eat right, exercise, die anyway."

That is his excuse for eating whatever he wants.

 

[legacypc46]

Okay, here's mine.
DH and I met while in the Army about 8 years ago when we had a couple assignments together. He tried to fix me up with his best friend (an unmitigated disaster).

Funny thing is, DH and I never dated. I just didn't have him in that category. He was a professional peer and a bud....so, we never held back in our opinions (and boy do we disagree on some topics!). Eventually, we just kind of realized we had this total acceptance of eachother and didn't want to be apart.

We have something we call the 'tomato rule'. It's for when we're disagreeing over something that really isn't important or things are getting too heated to stay focused on the topic at hand. One of us says 'tomato' and that's it, subject dropped (at least for the time being). We went thru a complete custom design house build and only had to say tomato twice.

(We also have the dumba$$ sign: waving the hand back and forth as if slapping. It's a silly joke between us for when one of us is being, well, a dumba$$ It's what happens when one's a liberal and one is an entrenched non-liberal).

leggy

 

[ChefBeckyD]

That is a great story, Leggy!

I love hearing peoples love stories!:love:

 

[PampMomof3]

Well I have signed up! My dh and I have been together since 1994 and got married in 2000. (in July, we'll be married 8 years together for 14, yeah half of my life!). We were high school sweethearts and went to 2 homecomings and 2 proms together. (He went to an all catholic while I went to Public school). We met at the grocery store we both worked at and fell head over heals. He's 6 months older than me so he was able to drive first. He would get off of work and come back to pick me up 3 hours later just to take me home and spend time with me.:love: When I eventually got a car, I got up over 2 hours early to get ready and go to his house so I could snuggle with him in the morning and to take his younger sister to school. (too funny to relive these stories!).

We have had some difficult times before marriage and one in particular since being married but we are doing great. We have gutted our house and tiled and painted the whole thing in the last 7 weeks. We've been at each others throats a few times but to see the work you've done together is very rewarding!

We also have 3 kids together 7,5 and 3. They are our pride and joy and it's really cool to read all of your stories! Keep em coming!

 

[rennea]

Well I'm Canadian so there is no place for me to sign up on that webpage but we are coming up to 12 years in August. And my hubby always says "you'll never get rid of me". Don't know if it's a threat or just an observation

We have been "together" for 18 years:love:

 

[JAE]

Well I'm Canadian so there is no place for me to sign up on that webpage but we are coming up to 12 years in August. And my hubby always says "you'll never get rid of me". Don't know if it's a threat or just an observation

We have been "together" for 18 years:love:

Too funny (bold part).

Too bad you can't sign up because you're out of the country. I signed up so long ago that I don't really remember what is involved. Glad this thread is still going.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

my storyDH and I met when I was joining the US Air Force. My recruiter got promoted to another job, and my DH was sent to that office to fill in until they could get a permanent person.

LOVE at first sight. :love: We couldn't date because even though he was NOT my recruiter, he was still a recruiter, and I was just a soon to be enlisted schlep.

LONG story short... I got seriously injured while in the AF and had to be discharged. I was crushed. (I was a jet mechanic) (DH was a former cargo plane crew chief) anyway- once I was discharged I hobbled into his office (leg in cast) and he looked up and grinned! He was dating an ex-girl friend (again) and he broke up with her and we started dating immediately! This was in 1993- the spring. We were twitterpated! :blushing:

Our first date was replacing the transmission in his 1970-something Cutlass...Ahhh puppy love.

Anyway- we had hit a rough patch in 1995- and he broke up with me (twice actually- he said I was too good to be true) (He had a practice wife and that marriage didn't go so well so he wasn't about to get married again) which broke my heart. After he broke up with me he applied for a job at Offut Air Force Base in Omaha NE- He figured he'd be able to get me out of his head easier if he was some 600+ miles from MN.

Fast forward we are no longer broken up (he couldn't stay away from me for more than 2 weeks). He went to Michigan one December for a recruiting assignment (in the Upper Peninsula)
He called me one night to tell me when he gets back into town we should go and look at engagement rings. I wanted to tell him I thought we should break up and go our separate ways because I felt that he was never going to marry me and I was not willing to move to NE as his girlfriend- too many things could go wrong, and I'd have to move back to MN- or worse be in a new state with few friends, and have to support myself.

(oh, I forgot to tell you that we were living in sin, and I was living in sin with a man 9 years my senior)

When he called we both said "I have something I want to talk about" And I told him to go first (good thing, or he may have backed out of telling me that God told him not to let me go, and that he wanted to shop for engagement rings when he got back into town) When he was done, he asked what I wanted to talk about and I told him I forgot.

We were engaged on Christmas Eve Day, and because he had accepted that job in Omaha we got married on Leap Day, honeymooned in Omaha- while looking for a place to live (the base housing was full) and left for NE on April 6th I believe...

We have moved quite a few times, been through some serious ups and downs (which will happen when you marry a man with a practice wife)

I never did get my private wedding in the Virgin Islands, but we've been married for 12 years- together for 15 and I still love the big Galoot!



Oh, if you are wondering, yes ladies and gentlemen...he made up for the lousy honeymoon we had to have in Omaha- he took me to Jamaica on our 10th wedding anniversary. Well- we really didn't have one that year because we were married on 2/29/96 and 2006 didn't have a Feb 29th- but you know what I mean

edited because I can no longer remember dates! good grief!

 

[JAE]

Great story Kacey.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Great stroy Kacey.

Why, thank you JAE!

 

[raebates]

I think it's too easy to get married, personally. I got married to my ex way too easy... thinking he'd change if we got married (he didn't) and then when we had DS (again, he didn't)... sadly he's ruining his relationships with his kids and family (happens to a lot of alcoholics that are barreling down the shaft of self-destruction)... it was a short marriage but one in which I learned a lot about life, relationships and addiction. DH and I put a lot more time and thought into our life together before we got married. It'll be 7 years for us this year... his third marriage and really he woulda stayed with his 2nd wife 'forever' had she not been so abusive...

Actually, I'd agree with that, too. My dad often said that divorce should be free, but it should cost thousands to get married. And, he was talking about the marriage license, not just the party.And, KG, it's because marriage is so very important that it's important to laugh about it. It's the same reason many doctors and nurses know the best jokes--especially "gallows humor."

 

[Kitchen Diva]

When I do that, it's only for the humor value. While some people might think this is too sacred of a subect to joke about - I have news for you. There is no situation in life so serious, so sacred or so solemn that it has no humor in it anywhere.

Don't take life so seriously - you're never going to get out of it alive, anyway.

I laugh at my DH all the time! Ooops, I mean I laugh WITH him- yeah, WITH him!

AT church today our pastor (his name is Pastor Fruits...I'm not kidding!) Talked about the 80/20 rule. Most spouses like/love 80% of the things about their partner, and 20% they don't like or cannot stand. And if you choose to focus on the 20%, your 80% will seem more like 10% and that 20% can get you a one way ticket to a miserable marriage or even divorce.

On the way home DH told me he likes 95% of the things about me, and only 5% drive him crazy...then he told me that he needed to stop focusing on the 5% and told me he was sorry! How cool is that? He said there were really only 2 things about me that drove him nuts, so then I gleefully said: "Oh, so it's 98/2 then? hee-hee. He boldly told me there was no way he had 20% worth of things that bothered me, and felt that I thought of him as having 95% of things I liked and 5% of things I didn't. I told him he was close- it was 90/10!

Anyway, it was an interesting thing that Pastor Fruits said and I took it to heart. This week I am supposed to focus on one or two things from the 80% we like about our spouses and see how much better things go.

:blushing: maybe I'll have to focus on the jar of chocolate body paint...

 

[dannyzmom]

I laugh at my DH all the time! Ooops, I mean I laugh WITH him- yeah, WITH him!

AT church today our pastor (his name is Pastor Fruits...I'm not kidding!) Talked about the 80/20 rule. Most spouses like/love 80% of the things about their partner, and 20% they don't like or cannot stand. And if you choose to focus on the 20%, your 80% will seem more like 10% and that 20% can get you a one way ticket to a miserable marriage or even divorce.

On the way home DH told me he likes 95% of the things about me, and only 5% drive him crazy...then he told me that he needed to stop focusing on the 5% and told me he was sorry! How cool is that? He said there were really only 2 things about me that drove him nuts, so then I gleefully said: "Oh, so it's 98/2 then? hee-hee. He boldly told me there was no way he had 20% worth of things that bothered me, and felt that I thought of him as having 95% of things I liked and 5% of things I didn't. I told him he was close- it was 90/10!

Anyway, it was an interesting thing that Pastor Fruits said and I took it to heart. This week I am supposed to focus on one or two things from the 80% we like about our spouses and see how much better things go.

:blushing: maybe I'll have to focus on the jar of chocolate body paint...

Focus on it? Kacey, my friend...I think you're FIXATING on it - LOLOL

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Focus on it? Kacey, my friend...I think you're FIXATING on it - LOLOL

let's see where is that jar opener....

 

[janetupnorth]

let's see where is that jar opener....

Better be using a Pampered Chef one!!!!

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Better be using a Pampered Chef one!!!!

shhhhhh! I don't own one! (I just use a really thick and wide rubber band)

 

[JAE]

shhhhhh! I don't own one! (I just use a really thick and wide rubber band)

I just bought The Pampered Chef Smooth Edge Can Opener. It's still in the plastic, though. I have an electric one. I don't even think I know how to use the PC one.

 

[quiverfull7]

So I am saying Rae is the winner - married 23 WONDERFUL years!!! Who can beat that??

Congrats Rae!

My DH and I have been married 27 1/2 marvelous years!!!!!!
Sorry Rae... gotcha! But I need to go back and catch up to see if anyone else posted a longer journey!

 

[legacypc46]

I just bought The Pampered Chef Smooth Edge Can Opener. It's still in the plastic, though. I have an electric one. I don't even think I know how to use the PC one.

(temp hijack....like that isn't happening a lot in this thread!)

Think of an aircraft landing on an aircraft carrier...just bring it straight onto the can with the turn key on the top-side. (I got this from one of my customers and have never forgotten how to use it since!)

(okay, resume sharing tales of marital bliss and committment...or at least the committment part!)

My DH and I have been married 27 1/2 marvelous years!!!!!!

Wow Diane, that is great to hear. I love to hear of couples who are making it thru the long haul.

 

[raebates]

Congratulations, Diane! Frankly, I'm glad someone was able to beat our staying power.

 

[PamperedDor]

My DH and I have been married 27 1/2 marvelous years!!!!!!
Sorry Rae... gotcha! But I need to go back and catch up to see if anyone else posted a longer journey!

Ok - we have a new leader!!! Let hear the beautiful story behind this long wonderful blessed marriage - DO SHARE!!! AND Congrats on a wonderful accomplishment!!!:balloon: :balloon: :balloon:

 

[quiverfull7]

I'm going to sign up in a minute. One thing that I told my DH once in the middle of a "discussion" went like this: It had been a really long "discussion"... kind of like all day ... and we had finally laid down in bed. He asked me if I even loved him. I said "Of COURSE I Love You! I just don't LIKE you at all right now!" God somehow used that as a lightbulb moment for him and he has quoted me to loads of people since then. It's SO OKAY to disagree and to talk things through and to fight sometimes... and then you get to the making up part! I can say that the biggest roadblock to any marriage is not communicating. If you are frustrated with your spouse, talk it through once you have calmed down a bit. No matter how wonderful your spouse is or thinks they are (yup... that's what we are thinking when we are mad so just admit it) they truly CANNOT read your mind. My DH and I have sat with several couples that have no clue how to talk with oneanother instead of AT oneanther. They toss barbs and try and anticipate what the other one will say instead of really listening... It's that old saying about having two ears and one mouth... so God must truly intend for us to listen twice as much as we talk!

 

[raebates]

So true.Another thing that took me far too long to learn is that I can't control him, but I can control my reactions. Sometimes he'll be in a snarky mood, which will cause him to say something to me in a way that I don't really appreciate. Now, I can be snarky right back, (trust me, I can be really snarky), or I can take a deep breath and ask him what's wrong. Being snarky back just escalates things. A calm response diffuses things and makes for a much happier home.And, yes, The Furry Guy has learned that lesson, too.

 

[PamperedDor]

He He - I trained my husband to just always agree with me (whether he does or not!!) Its "ok dear, whatever you say dear..." It our way of disagreeing - I am just always right!!! LOL!!!

Seriously, he is just understanding and non agruementative (sp) - Very supportive, and well, pretty darn handsome!!

 

[JAE]

Hmmmm...Snarky. Now that is a word I've never heard before.

 

[PamperedDor]

Hmmmm...Snarky. Now that is a word I'v never heard before.

Me neither - but am so going to use it when Mr Cranky Pants comes home after a long day of work with "attitude" - SO how was your day Mr Snarky - I'm liking it!!!

 

[rennea]

Hmmmm...Snarky. Now that is a word I'v never heard before.

Really?, my dh would tell you I invented the word

 

[raebates]

Can't tell you where I heard it, but it describes the attitude and tone of voice perfectly.

 

[PamperedDor]

Can we refer to teenagers as snarky too?? Because I usually use another word for my teenage girls....

 

[raebates]

I believe the snarky attitude was created by a 14-year-old girl.

 

[dannyzmom]

shhhhhh! I don't own one! (I just use a really thick and wide rubber band)

Ok...I'm not touching the fact that Kacey just said "thick and wide"

 

[dannyzmom]

Congratulations, Diane! Frankly, I'm glad someone was able to beat our staying power.

and I'm REALLLLY not touching the fact that Rae is now talking about "staying power"

 

[dannyzmom]

My DH wants me to ask you what he should do about a wife who kicks dead horses (I think he's referring to me...)

 

[raebates]

and I'm REALLLLY not touching the fact that Rae is now talking about "staying power"

Okay, Carolyn, then I won't go there either.

 

[dannyzmom]

Okay, Carolyn, then I won't go there either.

aw mannnnnnn...why not??

 

[raebates]

Hey, people already think I share TMI. Besides, The Furry Guy gets nervous when I start talking s-e-x with my online buddies. He says he's afraid that either I'll make him look bad, or he'll have trouble living up to his reputation. (Pun definitely intended. )

 

[Kitchen Diva]

(temp hijack....like that isn't happening a lot in this thread!)

Think of an aircraft landing on an aircraft carrier...just bring it straight onto the can with the turn key on the top-side. (I got this from one of my customers and have never forgotten how to use it since!)

(okay, resume sharing tales of marital bliss and committment...or at least the committment part!)


Wow Diane, that is great to hear. I love to hear of couples who are making it thru the long haul.

I'm the queen of hijacking...

Say, how do you put more than one quote from more than one person in one post???

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Ok...I'm not touching the fact that Kacey just said "thick and wide"

I think you just did touch it!

 

[janetupnorth]

I'm the queen of hijacking...

Say, how do you put more than one quote from more than one person in one post???

Either "quote" them in different windows and copy into your first window.

Or highlight and paste the text from the previous post and put:

[ QUOTE = Kitchen Diva] (without the spaces) before the post and [ / QUOTE] (without the spaces) after the quote.

 

[quiverfull7]

I love my DH... and some days I don't like him and I know he feels the same way about me some days... especially when the piles get deep Without Jesus I know we would not be together... I don't know how you stay together without Him. Every trial we've been though has made us stronger. Some days I'm still not as good at communicating as I should be but I try not to play games and manipulate. Having seven children creates loads of fun in life and I just can't say enough about my DH. He's amazing and he rarely comes up against something that he cannot do. We are trying to figure out how to switch our house around and change an existing room into our kitchen ... it will involve some creativity... which he is loaded with. I cannot visualize ANYTHING structural... he can see it all. The main thing on my prayer list where this is concerned is finding someone who has all the used cabinets that I need to do this for CHEAP! Don't get me wrong here... we fight and get irritated with each other but we are committed till we are both in heaven! The saddest story that we have heard as far as communication that any couple that has sat with us to discuss their marriage was the one that had been married for like 20 years and they began fussing with each other about $24 that one had spent in their FIRST year of marriage... yikes... you can't keep score folks... that's not forgiveness. That couple didn't make it... and we are still sad about it. TALK... LOVE... FORGIVE...ESCAPE TOGETHER... GO ON DATES....MAKE LOVE... repeat .... repeat