I Feel Like I'm Stalking My Host ....

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Discussion Overview

This thread discusses the challenges and experiences participants face when trying to coordinate with hosts for upcoming shows. Participants share their personal experiences with busy hosts and suggest various strategies to facilitate communication and planning.

Discussion Character

  • Anecdotal
  • Opinion-based
  • Exploratory

Main Points Raised

  • One participant expresses frustration over not receiving a guest list or menu ideas from a busy host.
  • Another participant suggests providing a limited number of recipe options to help reduce decision fatigue for the host.
  • Several users mention offering to shop for groceries as a way to alleviate stress for the host.
  • One participant shares their experience of using email as a more effective communication method with busy hosts.
  • Another participant recounts a situation where a host canceled last minute due to lack of communication.
  • One participant describes a successful interaction after visiting the host in person, which relieved the host's stress about menu planning.

Areas of Agreement / Disagreement

Views differ on the best methods to communicate with busy hosts, with some participants favoring in-person visits while others prefer email or phone calls. No clear consensus emerges on a single effective approach.

Contextual Notes

Participants share experiences that highlight the varying levels of availability and stress among hosts, particularly those balancing multiple responsibilities.

Who May Find This Useful

Consultants who encounter similar challenges with host communication may find these shared experiences and strategies relevant to their own situations.

Intrepid_Chef
Intrepid_Chef
Silver Member
Messages
5,144
Sigh ....

I have a show two weeks from today. So far, I do not have a guest list from my host, nor do I have any idea what she wants me to make.

The few times I've talked to her, she has sounded very stressed and busy. She has two active kids who are in sports, and works full-time ... her life sounds really busy.

When I DO reach her ... any suggestions on what to do, before and during the show, to make things easier for her ...
 
If you haven't already given her a list of recipes to choose from, either tell her what you'll be making or give her only two to choose from. If you've already given her a list of recipes and she doesn't have one chosen, suggest one.It's often difficult to make choices when we have too many options--especially when we're already full of stress.
 
maybe you could offer to shop for the groceries for her and have her reimburse you. Offer to make her reminder calls if she gives you phone numbers.
 
  • Thread starter
  • #4
I was just going to suggest doing the grocery shopping. Since we are also trying to make this show kind of "express" (but still do a recipe) that will give me a chance to do some prep work.

I'm going to give her a choice of power cooking or a microwave cake, I think.

As for the calls ... I think I will ... even though I normally don't because I don't want to promise something I can't deliver. It is often hard for me to find time to make calls ... and I currently don't have the money to be a Post Calls subscriber.
 
Di_Can_Cook said:
Sigh ....

I have a show two weeks from today. So far, I do not have a guest list from my host, nor do I have any idea what she wants me to make.

The few times I've talked to her, she has sounded very stressed and busy. She has two active kids who are in sports, and works full-time ... her life sounds really busy.

When I DO reach her ... any suggestions on what to do, before and during the show, to make things easier for her ...
Click to expand...

I feel for ya, I have a party this Thursday and can't get a call back and I have been calling her feeling like a stalker. Good Luck :)

You could buy the ingrediants for her and have her pay you back. I do that for my stressed out hosts which I seem to get alot of and they appreciate one less trip to the store.
 
  • Thread starter
  • #6
Well ... grrrrr!

I tried to call again today because her husband previously told me her day off was Tuesday ... and her home phone is "being checked for trouble ..." in other words, in the process of being shut off!

I left her a message on her cel phone indicating that I am willing to do anything I can to make this easy for her and had been brainstorming some ideas ... I hope she calls!
 
Sometimes with my very busy hosts the best way to get a hold of them is email. They respond when they have time. If this is an option, try that.
 
  • Thread starter
  • #8
She gave me an e-mail address and I did drop her a line ... but I have since lost it.

I talked to my director and she suggested I drop her a note today... note is written and I'll be hand-delivering it to her door on the way in to work. I've saved myself a lot of postage this way ... since I practically drive past her house on the way in.
 
check your sent mail and find her email address that way
 
Di_Can_Cook said:
She gave me an e-mail address and I did drop her a line ... but I have since lost it.

I talked to my director and she suggested I drop her a note today... note is written and I'll be hand-delivering it to her door on the way in to work. I've saved myself a lot of postage this way ... since I practically drive past her house on the way in.
Click to expand...
I always add my hosts to my newsletter email list and put their email in their host information. That way when HO sends out their order, they get an email notification about it. Try doing that from now on so that you don't loose any more.

I send out weekly postcards about 4 weeks from their shows. I like to know that if they aren't getting my phone calls that at least they know that I'm still planning on doing their show.
 
I recently had this happen to me. I started calling and emailing the host 2 weeks before the show. She would say she was "busy" to call later. She wound up canceling on me the Monday before the Saturday show. My aunt works with her and said that her coworkers are angry with her for canceling at the last minute.

I hope your situation turns out better than mine. I am leary of hosts who "have no time to talk or email." It only takes a minute!
 
In the past, I have typed up a quick 'last minute details' letter OR have just left a message saying 'I am calling about your show on (date) at (time). I am SUPER excited about it. I understand you are busy - so I am going to purchase the ingredients for the (recipe) and bring them to you Show. I just need to confirm the last minute details with you. Can you PLEASE give me a call back at (phone number)....'

My D would leave a msg something like this 'I would like to know when it the best time to reach for you for the last minute details of your Show. I am in the office at (date and time) or (date and time), phone me back at that time OR to let me know what is the best time to reach you.'

Just some ideas...
 
  • Thread starter
  • #13
Well, I stopped by Host's home to tape a note to her door ... but seeing an SUV in her driveway, I decided to ring her bell. What do you know? She answered!Anyway ... I told her I would grocery shop for her and she said, "Oh, so that means you'll be picking out the menu?" and looked like the weight of the world was lifted off her shouders! Apparently deciding what to serve made her brain hurt!I think I am going to do the velvet cake with strawberries but just said I'd do "a microwave cake" (not wanting to promise anything until I tried it.)She vowed to e-mail me her guest list and I said that if we got them out within the next few days we should still be OK. She said she plans to hand-deliver most of the invites and I promised to get her stickers to put on her post cards with the time, date and place.Oh, and she just got home from a trip out of state ... so that's why I haven't been able to reach her.I think I am going to put my number and hers on there for RSVPs.
 
Glad to hear you got a hold of her! If the show is still 2 weeks away, there is still plently of time to mail out the invites.
 
:D YAHOO! Glad it is working out for you!
 

Frequently Asked Questions

I Feel Like I'm Stalking My Host. What Should I Do?

It's important to find a balance between being supportive and overwhelming your host. Instead of frequent check-ins, try scheduling regular updates or set specific times to discuss the party's progress. This way, your host knows when to expect communication and can prepare accordingly.

How Can I Encourage My Host Without Being Pushy?

Focus on providing helpful resources and encouragement rather than constant reminders. Share tips, templates, or promotional materials that your host can use at their convenience. This approach allows them to feel supported without feeling pressured.

What Are Some Signs That I Might Be Over-Communicating?

If your host is slow to respond, gives short answers, or seems disengaged, these may be signs that they feel overwhelmed. Pay attention to their communication style and adjust your outreach accordingly. It's crucial to respect their space while still offering assistance.

How Often Should I Check In with My Host?

A good rule of thumb is to check in once a week leading up to the party, with additional contact as needed. If your host is actively engaging and asking questions, feel free to communicate more frequently. However, if they seem busy, give them some time to respond.

What Should I Do If My Host Is Not Engaging?

If your host is unresponsive, try reaching out with a friendly message expressing your understanding of their busy schedule. You can also ask if there’s a better way or time for them to communicate. If they continue to be disengaged, it may be best to step back and allow them to reach out when they are ready.

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