How Do You Coach a Team Member Who Resists Guidance?

[dannyzmom]

I have a new team member. We'll call her Tenetta. She was a hostess in May. In May she would not allow me to host coach her. "I have been in sales for years...don't insult my intelligence by trying to tell ME how to have MY Pampered Chef show."

She refused to give me her guest list. Managed to pull off an $800 show.
Insisted I do three recipes & a cocktail - I flat out refused. Told me past consultants had prepared entire 3-course meals for her and her guests...told me her past consultants had provided all the ingredients for the "full catering" they provided, etc. Bullied and bullied me. I simply told her I would do ONE recipe and a beverage. She would be responsible for providing the ingredients. If this did not suit her, she was welcome to track down one of those old consultants of hers. Finally she relented.

At her show, I did the booking coupons and when I got to the host kit credit she rolled her eyes and made a whole loud monologue about why she was NEVER going to lower herself to be in direct sales, etc.

I got three bookings at her show - one for June, one for July and one for August. I got the June & August hosts' guest lists within 10 days. The July host was a bit slow with her guest list.

The week after her show, one of her best friends (Lori) signed under me (this gal is the polar opposite of the Tenetta) It took me TWO WEEKS to get her to finally close the show. She kept refusing...insisting she had more friends who wanted to order (only like $60 more came in during those 2 weeks) When the orders finally arrived (I had them ship to me so I could sort hem and intercept any problems to avoid headaches with Tenetta) and I delivered them to her, she was very nice and appreciative of my "extra customer service." A week later, after she had delivered them, she left me a voicemail saying she'd heard that her friend had signed and she is considering the biz opp.

I called her back and we talked, we then got Lori on 3-way and we signed her under her friend. Afterward she said "Well don't *I* get some sort of commission boost for "giving you" Lori. You wouldn't have met her if not for me. Shouldn't she be switched to fall under me in this pyramid thing? Oy.

She attended last week's cluster meeting. Was loud, very "know-it-all" and managed to piss off my seasoned consultants and scare the heck out of my newer ones.

Last night I was on a coaching call with her and another new gal. She was SO nasty "I am sorry but I don't need to be wasting my time with this business 101 silliness. Just tell me how to manage the computer stuff and I'll be fine." OY.

I gave her the July booking (since I'd not yet gotten the guest list and that host is another one of her "best friends"). As for the June & August hosts, I've already printed and posted the invites, mailed out host kits and done host coaching. SO I did not offer those bookings to her.

Any tips as to how to deal with this...um...wench!?!?!?

 

[BethCooks4U]

I would not invite her to future coaching calls with other consultants. Tell her that you are there if she has any questions but that she has shown that she is confident on her own.

As far as the meetings is concerned, that's a tough one. You have to maintain control of the meetings without making her feel bad and that won't be easy.

I had a consultant who always had to one up me but she also had some good ideas. I would grab onto those good ones, throw her a compliment and go on to other things. She was also one who had to be personally reminded about the meetings every month. After the last time that she came and totally put me down through the whole meeting to the point that several others commented on it, I stopped doing her reminder call. Now she gets the same email reminder all consultants get (just not the extra phone call). She didn't make the last two meetings and they have been much more pleasant for all.

 

[cmdtrgd]

I have a "negative" consultant on my team. Not quite what you are dealing with, but I LOVED the way my director dealt with mine! Every time she said something negative my director pointed it out (in a kind way) and said she wasn't going to do whatever she had just been asked to do - pick the ontime drawing or something. You have to get on her each time! It may make her not come to meetings, but that could be a blessing! My consultant is still a bit negative, but not nearly as much as she was!

 

[finley1991]

This is a tough one... you can't win here. I definitely would only coach her one-on-one and from here on out, tell her that since she has such vast (use your own nice language here) knowledge of sales that you are available to help her with anything she might need. As far as the computer "stuff," direct her to contact Tech Support.Clearly she is lacking something in her life and she is acting this way to compensate for it.Good luck!

 

[Mel5497]

My thoughts: Talk to her in her own business terms. Put on your polite professional hat and tell her that whether she respects it or not, your accomplishments placed you in the top percentage of the company last year and that you consistently earn top recognition for your business. She is free not to come to cluster meetings or take advantage of the expertise you have to offer. Should she wish to participate in training, you expect her to respect your business rules...which include being both respectful and supportive of everyone in attendance. Remind her she is already an accomplished business woman with a lot to offer your cluster and very capable of building a successful team herself. Let her know you would be delighted to help her excell with PC even if it means she exceeds your own performance. (Smile sweetly.)

My guess is she won't stay with it long....but hopefully long enough to qualify.

 

[dannyzmom]

She left me a voicemail a little while ago, apologizing for being "impatient" during last night's training call and saying she doesn't like "being micro-managed."

I've REALLY got my hands full with this one.

 

[BethCooks4U]

Just tell her that you work with all levels of people and have found it's better to not assume someone gets it until you know how they work and that you can see she's a self-starter so you are free to work with others. She'll love it.

 

[Mel5497]

Love your advice Beth.

 

[baychef]

Carolyn, do you have a tougue left? Mine would have been chewed into microscopic pieces!!!

I have dealt with some negativity and do sort of face it head on by talking with the consultant on a one on one basis away from the meeting.

The advise given here is top notch. My only addition may be that since she has such a "vast knowledge", that she do a small part of the meeting. However, especially with her, go over what she is going to say before the meeting to make sure her "vast knowledge" matches the company's expectations (and yours too of course).

Maybe attending one of her parties to make sure that she "knows what she is doing" would be helpful (or add gasoline to the fire). If she does do a decent job, then ask her, what DO YOU feel you would like training on? If she is as great as she says she is, then you could bow down and worship her...did I say that out loud????

You should get Circle of Honor in TPC for not losing it with this one. Egads!:bugeye: And make sure she has no twin sisters...especially living in NY state!!!

 

[dannyzmom]

You should get Circle of Honor in TPC for not losing it with this one. Egads!:bugeye: And make sure she has no twin sisters...especially living in NY state!!!

Oh, I forgot to mention, she spends her summers up in NY and asked for hospitality up there. I gave her your contact information! :devil:

 

[jwpamp]

Bahahahahaha!!!! This is hilarious (sorry, Carolyn!). I wish you could give her as hospitality to your past AD!

 

[dannyzmom]

That's exactly what was just said moments ago on the other thread - LOL

 

[jwpamp]

I would do as Beth suggested and just tell her you are there for her if she has any questions....and if she is interested in your years of knowledge, you would be happy to help when she asks.

Good luck!

 

[finley1991]

she spends her summers up in NY

Where? I'll be in upstate NY in August... Skaneateles...

 

[dannyzmom]

Where? I'll be in upstate NY in August... Skaneateles...

I was kidding - just busting Ann's chops. But I tell ya what - if you want this consultant of mine, I will SHIP her out of state!! LOL

 

[finley1991]

I was kidding - just busting Ann's chops. But I tell ya what - if you want this consultant of mine, I will SHIP her out of state!! LOL

That's funny... and what I get for not reading the entire thread!!!!!

Ship her here, I'll take care of her!

I had a downline consultant come to my spring kick-off and ALL she did was complain about how hard it is to do PC! And she said that I don't understand because I don't work full time outside of PC. The event started at 10am and ended up 2pm and at 10:01 she started complaining. I kept trying to move it into a positive direction with no avail so I moved onto a technique that my NED taught me when dealing with someone like this. (Technique: raise your hand, palm forward and say STOP! We are going to be positive here and move this in a positive direction.) Did that about 6 times in ONE hour.

Long story longer, she left in a huff, called her recruiter and threatened to quit, hasn't been back to a meeting since and said she felt "picked on." She and her recruiter are cut from the same cloth... everyone is always picking on them and being mean to them. And these women are in their 50s!!!!!! COME ON!!!!! She didn't quit, did go inactive but did a show last week. I just don't have tolerance for that AT ALL and will not compromise my meetings for those who WANT to be there and learn.

With that (sorry this is getting long), my former director had a girl on her team that used to come to the meeting and bully other consultants. She would tell them what they SHOULD be doing with their businesses but at the same time NEVER do those things herself. So we installed a Rule that we could only share techniques that we've actually used and that worked. That kind of quieted her down.

 

[Mel5497]

So we installed a Rule that we could only share techniques that we've actually used and that worked. That kind of quieted her down.

Thank you Colleen. This is a great rule for meetings! (If I had any meetings :cry