Breaking Free from the Guilty Cycle: Tips for Success with an Awesome Director

[cmdtrgd]

I love my director. She is awesome and knows how to be successful.I love my director. She is awesome and knows how to be successful. However, if there is something I do she doesn't agree with, she lets me know. This is good in some respects (learning, working smarter, etc.) but I tend to kick myself over and over if she says something. I don't think she means to make me feel guilty or anything. How do you get out of the guilty cycle and make it about moving forward?

 

[BethCooks4U]

Your director can and should guide you but it is your business. If, after listening to her suggestions, you feel more comfortable with a different method go with what works for you.

When I was pregnant with my first child my aunt said "People will give you lots of advice. Politely listen and thank them. Then take what works for you and do that." It's great advice for all aspects of life and business.

 

[finley1991]

Oh Kate! I hear you! Our Directors must have gone to the same "how not to train" class!

It's your business and the beauty is that you can do whatever you want without permission from others.

My D's problem, issue, whatever you want to call it, is that she CAN'T STAND anyone having more success than she does. That's why when I promoted, she stopped giving me recognition. When we're at Conferences and someone is on stage for doing something great (Circle of Honor for example) her comment is ALWAYS the same... "She's not that good."

She earned a trip and TPC 4 years before I signed with her. She's never earned either since but she tells her team ALL THE TIME, "I've done it and I can TELL you how to do it too." Don't tell us, SHOW US!

Okay.. done venting! Thanks for reading!

 

[BethCooks4U]

Yeah, my director is kind of the same. When I promoted (on a May 1) she said "I should be happy for you but if you had waited just one month we would have gotten TPC for the cluster." - WE??? She does not share. She would have gotten the PC$$ and diamond in her ring. Sorry. You promote when it's time and it's not my fault that it affected her firstline cluster sales. lol :yuck:

(And I did not know that she was that close to earning it or I just might have waited that month for her.)

 

[chefkugler]

Ok since we are on a vent. I have to vent too. Sorry!
I used to be the top performer in our cluster. It was a good feeling, always getting recognition. Well then I worked my butt off to promote to director by conference. I did it. She was there along the way and tried to help where she could. Motivation and such. Well I promoted on July 1st and was promised I would get some training. Cause we all know becoming a Director can be a little overwhelming. Well the training was put off and put off. Then it was well another girl might be promoting, so let's wait. ( ok so I suffer at her advantage). To this day, I have had NO director training.:cry: We do meetings together still and I'm NEVER given the chance to do recognition for my cluster. Now, since I get NO recognition anymore at least let me give my team some.
Ok, had to vent too. Thanks for listening.:blushing:

 

[finley1991]

Does your Director do the recognition for your team? Or do they not get ANY?

 

[chefkugler]

Well the last 2 meetings what she did was pretty much NO recognition across the board.
In Sept she just commented how NO one had sales really for August. I was like OK, I had some with sales. Then at our October meeting it was Oct. 1st, so the sales were not updated yet for Sept. But I still had everyone's sales with me. She gave to her top achiever in her cluster and another directors cluster. Never gave me a chance either. So I'm doing a training tomorrow night for my cluster and will do the recognition for them at this get together. At our Directors meeting this month, she didn't have our stats with her to do anything. I'm getting over not getting recognition anymore as a Director. But, let me put my cluster in the spot light.

 

[BethCooks4U]

Maybe it's time for you to break away and do your own meetings. Even a small group can get excited and PC gives you an outline each month. I usually use it for some of my meeting but then change things up depending on what's happening in my cluster.

PS: I was and AM a top performer in my cluster and I rarely got recognition. She has a consultant that she just loves that she is always singing the praises of and she rarely has over $500 in sales or more than 1 or 2 shows. She has 2 recruits right now I think but come on!

My director moved away and doesn't do anything for those that don't attend her meetings (even if you live long distance) and now she moved back but over an hour from me. I rarely know when she does do a meeting and she picked like the worse night for me to go. She wants us to call her and rarely checks in with us if we don't do the calling. She used to have director calls but has stopped those. She never reminded us of the calls and doesn't understand why we didn't always get on the calls. Sorry, but everyone is busy and we all need to remind each other of those once a month things. Even in Corporate America reminders are sent out about meetings.

Thanks for the vent!

 

[chefkugler]

I have thought about branching off on my own in the New Year. I have a small team of 9. Right now there are 3 other directors that all meet at my directors once a month as a group. Groups are fun, but sometimes smaller groups can be more fun.
As for Director meetings, they do them once a month in the morning. I do daycare so finding other arrangments on that day can be hard. But even when I do go, I feel I get nothing out of it.

 

[BethCooks4U]

Well then you don't have a decision to make. Poll your consultants and pick the best time for you that works for them. I started my meetings with 3 and currently I have 17 but usually 6-9 show up - some are also long distance. We have a great meeting. I agree that larger meetings can be better but they're less personal and if you aren't getting anything from them...

Just caught that the second part was re: Director meetings. Well, if you don't get anything from them you again have no decision. Why go through all the trouble of arranging the daycare for something that doesn't give you anything? Just tell her that you can't work it out at that time.

 

[cmdtrgd]

Don't forget, HO has fabulous director training! We have had three HO calls this year. There is New Director Academy and Director Training Day and there are teleclasses you can take for free!!! Look at what YOU want training on and make sure you get those classes at Leadership and NC, too.

 

[micocina]

Don't forget, HO has fabulous director training! We have had three HO calls this year. There is New Director Academy and Director Training Day and there are teleclasses you can take for free!!! Look at what YOU want training on and make sure you get those classes at Leadership and NC, too.

I agree! Get the training from HO and if there is a Director training event near you do your best to attend. I just got a training Directors pamphlet from HO and I think it will help me (first) and then those in my team that aspire to it. Don't depend on anyone, you will soon know more and have more success. ChefSuccess is major training too.

 

[finley1991]

Did we miss it somewhere that once you promote a director, you just ignore them?

That seems to be the training that lots of our directors have gotten!

Thankfully we won't make the same mistake!

I agree with everyone else, DO YOUR OWN MEETINGS! And then you're team will really start to kick butt and that'll show her! (Not trying to be vindictive here... you know where I'm coming from!)

 

[chefkugler]

One of the great things now is to be able to say I WON'T do that in my group.
I did a training night last night and it felt good to be with just my cluster. Doing things they way I know and feel comfortable.

 

[DebPC]

I've often thought about starting it. Do you really feel it benefits you?

 

[imported_heat123]

I used to and absolutely loved it! It all depends on the instructor though... I tried 4-5 different ones before I found the right one and did it for 2 years- then she up and left this particular gym I went to ! It was great for emotional wellbeing (stress) as well as a great body toner! I wish the instructor came back and I would do it again faithfully!

 

[jlevernier]

I did it for three years, then had a foot injury. Haven't gone back to any kind of workout since then! (And the foot's been healed for a long while!)

When I worked at Curves I used to show the women some of the poses to use in stretching. Especially if you have bigger thighs or stomachs, some of the yoga poses are better stretches (easier to get into) than some of the familiar stretches.

Yoga is great for flexibility and stress. It's amazing how much you can sweat! It seems like little movement would equal little sweat, not true.

--Jenny L

 

[Gina M]

I've been doing yoga just over 2 years now - I do power ball yoga using the big power ball in my workouts - it's just a 55 minute class once a week at night. I really enjoy it- I have 2 instructors who switch off week to week. Plus each week they change it up with different poses as well. It's definitely a good workout but not hard on your joints. And you definitely can feel yourself holding a better posture as well!

 

[Admin Greg]

I've wanted to get into Yoga and Meditation for a long time now.

 

[imported_lkprescott]

I used to and absolutely loved it! It all depends on the instructor though... I tried 4-5 different ones before I found the right one and did it for 2 years- then she up and left this particular gym I went to ! It was great for emotional wellbeing (stress) as well as a great body toner! I wish the instructor came back and I would do it again faithfully!

I agree with this. I've tried using tapes and find them unhelpful and unmotivational. I had instruction from a wonderful yogini and have become spoiled thanks to that. She was hired by a company I used to work for to come in and give employees yoga once a week... regardless of who showed up. So the best times were when I had a 1 on 1 with her. She could customize things for me and whatever I needed and there's nothing like having a learned hand to gently help you get into a position or maintain a pose.

 

[micocina]

There are no Yoga classes close by and so I was planning on buying a Yoga Dvd, but I think I'm going to get pretty bored.

 

[Christ Follower]

Never done it.

 

[friday]

My legs still ache from a yoga class I tried 3 days ago... I am not convinced that THAT is for me. i was under the impression that it was to be a gentle exercise. I didn't expect the lingering pain.

 

[imported_heat123]

My legs still ache from a yoga class I tried 3 days ago... I am not convinced that THAT is for me. i was under the impression that it was to be a gentle exercise. I didn't expect the lingering pain.

Don't give up yet! Give it some time, you're justing stretching muscles you didn't know you had (heehee) or at least haven't used in awhile! Unless you were doing "power yoga"?? IN that case the best type is "hatha or gentle" yoga!

 

[friday]

Don't give up yet! Give it some time, you're justing stretching muscles you didn't know you had (heehee) or at least haven't used in awhile! Unless you were doing "power yoga"?? IN that case the best type is "hatha or gentle" yoga!

This was hatha yoga. I didn't like the instructor either. She was nasty. I won't give up, but I will wait until I can climb stairs without wincing again.

 

[imported_lkprescott]

This was hatha yoga. I didn't like the instructor either. She was nasty. I won't give up, but I will wait until I can climb stairs without wincing again.

Ooh... nasty instructors are no fun. Did you overextend your muscles when you did the yoga? You shouldn't go beyond what your body tells you unless done veeerrrry gently.

 

[imported_heat123]

Yeah, there should have been "modification" positions for you as a beginner, or at least she should have showed them to you as an option. Usually mine use to show us three levels of modifications (beg, med and advanced) moves.