Dealing with a Difficult Director: My Vent and Frustrations as a Consultant

[finley1991]

Dealing with My Director - ventOkay... so this is a vent that I just need to get off my chest. I posted the other day how frustrated I was that my director called me on the 30th to let me know that she would be entering the repromotin cycle yesterday unless the TEAM got the $4000 in and losing me as her only director. I was already frustrated enough that she waited until the 11th hour to contact us. Even if she had called everyone with a week's notice, maybe the team would have been able to rally. She ended up putting in a $400 order of her own to make the $4k.

Where I am frustrated is that when she called, I told her that I was submitting about $2500 for the month with my last show going in on Friday afternoon. I gave her the exact amount my monthly sales would be. In the discussion, I find out that I personally have been carrying her team sales for all of 2007. Due to a personal issue, I didn't do much in June or July and was in reliquishment myself but knew my team and I would be able to do the $4k in August... and my team did the $4k without my sales! But basically it was my fault that she was losing her directorship because of my crappy sales in June & July... ummm... what about everyone else on the team working?

So I submit the show and wake up to a flaming e-mail from her because she checked the IPT at 7am yesterday and my sales weren't showing up. Ironically, the e-mail i got right after hers was from HO saying that the show I submitted had already shipped (woo-hoo on the fast shipping!). Anyway, I checked the IPT and it was there so I didn't respond.

Basically, my director has not been a director to anyone on our team in over a year. She had planned to go to NC with me and share a room but called me 5 days before we were leaving saying she wasn't going so I was stuck with the $600 bill myself. I admit it was great to have a room to myself but really couldn't afford it but had to suck it up anyway.

When my business started to grow and my sales were great and my team was growing, she constantly put me down, told me I was doing a crappy job with my team, everything she could think of to shake my confidence. She basically doesn't like anyone doing better than her. She earned a trip ONCE (the last time PC went to London... what? 12 years ago?) and earned TPC once in sales. But she always says that she can teach me how to earn those things. Even at conference when people get up to talk about their successes, she'll say, "She's not that good... she doesn't know what she's talking about..."

I was really looking forward to being in my NED's first line. My NED has been coaching me weekly and my business is in a better place than it's ever been. I feel my NED deserves my overrides because she is actually doing her job!

Consulants on my director's team call me because they don't ever hear from her. I don't mind helping them but honestly, that e-mail yesterday was hte last straw for me! I'm working my tail off only to get scolded by her because she is losing her status because she didn't work, not because I didn't work.

Okay... I'm done writing. I guess I don't know what I need to hear to help me feel better but any words would help right now. Thanks for reading!

 

[BethCooks4U]

{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}

So do we have the same director?? Well, not. My director has 3 directors but she doesn't do anything for us or give any positive feedback (instead of "WOW 3 recruits in one month!" she says "you have a start now. Let me tell you what to do..." She always comes back with a "you don't know what you're doing." making me feel like I'm a brand new consultant and she's the expert. lol I would love to be in my Exec's first line but...

Anyway, I do understand and it has to be so frustrating. How DARE she say it's all you. Personally, I would ignore her calls and maybe not even read her emails. Have you talked with your NED about it?

As far as the hotel at conference is concerned. When we reserve a room we make it clear that if life happens and someone has to back out they are still responsible for the cost of the room unless it can be filled. It is not fair to those that are left in the room to have to pay more than they budgeted because of someone else's circumstance. I would say something about it to her.

Like me, I am sure you are modeling your directorship on what you would have liked HERS to be toward you and her team. Don't let her get you down.

Oh, and depending on where you are in your NED's line she IS getting commission on your sales (she gets 4% on first line and 3% down to 4th line at her level).

 

[finley1991]

Thanks Beth!

You are right... I'm in my NED's 2nd line so she is earning off of me. And I won't be taking any more of my director's calls, although I'm sure there won't be any more coming!!!!

I have to say that I am an awesome director! I knew I wanted to be a director when I signed and I work really hard at it. And I'm looking forward to growing my team too!

Thanks for your post!

 

[BethCooks4U]

Sometimes "sister" directors are more inspirational and supportive :sun: then our real director:grumpy:! WE are a team and WE can do it together. I think, even more meaningful since we don't make any money off of each other!

You go girl! Keep up what you are doing and inspire your team!arty:

 

[kcjodih]

Like Beth said I would also pass that info on to your NED. She needs to know this is going on. I know it sounds wronge, but hopefully your director will get out of the way of your success. I had a recruiter like that, she is a hobbiest, and not very supportive. Since I promoted (almost 2 years ago) we have hardly spoken. She told me than she would rather drive an hour to meeting that come to mine, since I don't really have anything to teach her. Oh well! Onward and Upward!

 

[BethCooks4U]

Like Beth said I would also pass that info on to your NED. She needs to know this is going on. I know it sounds wronge, but hopefully your director will get out of the way of your success. I had a recruiter like that, she is a hobbiest, and not very supportive. Since I promoted (almost 2 years ago) we have hardly spoken. She told me than she would rather drive an hour to meeting that come to mine, since I don't really have anything to teach her. Oh well! Onward and Upward!

Ouch! Oh well, her loss!

 

[pamela]

this will be long.........hey Colleen, there is hope! My Adv Director was under a Director that was just the pits. She literally dropped out of PC, but purchased enough( that we suspect she was selling on e-bay, but could not prove it) to keep getting paid on my AD sales (which are around $8,000/month), as well as the down-line which included me. She NEVER held meetings, never called, never e-mailed and really sucked. My AD talked to many a HO person, and just not much could be done until she managed to either lose her team of 5 or not make her sales. Well, it finally happened LAST MONTH and this thing went on for 3 years or more! I just suggest that you let your ED know what her attitude is-even forward the e-mail your Director wrote to her AND remember, not everyone who is a Director should be a Director! I know you are doing exactly what your TEAM needs and no one should ever feel like they have the sole responsibility of carrying a team to the $4000. Just pretend like she doesn't exist and maybe she'll decide Directorship is not for her!

HUGS comin' your way!

 

[annew]

WOW I'm not the only one!!! My director finally after 9 years has went into relinquishment!!!! I haven't heard from her since January until last week when she was wondering about my sales.......well I've kind of taken it easy the past 2 months & whoo I'm now under my Exec. Director~ recently I've started coaching w/her.

It amazes me of how many directors don't do their job & it has definately made me a better director b/c I know what NOT to do.

 

[its_me_susan]

....WE are a team and WE can do it together. I think, even more meaningful since we don't make any money off of each other! ....

Sad but true. Although I don't like being reminded, guess we can't always tell whether someone earning from us is sincere? You're right though, we here ARE here only for support, sharing & caring. Thanks everyone! >:d<

 

[its_me_susan]

{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}

So do we have the same director?? Well, not. My director has 3 directors but she doesn't do anything for us or give any positive feedback (instead of "WOW 3 recruits in one month!" she says "you have a start now. Let me tell you what to do..." She always comes back with a "you don't know what you're doing." making me feel like I'm a brand new consultant and she's the expert. lol I would love to be in my Exec's first line but...).

Beth, it sounds like SHE needs some training on "coaching" consultants! I feel so fortunate to have had that leadership workshop with Julie Weirtz. I now know the difference between training (telling people what they need to do) and coaching (letting them come up with the solutions, and supporting them. Big difference.

 

[BethCooks4U]

Well she doesn't SAY "you don't know what you're doing." but that's how she makes me feel. She does imply that she is the expert though. Oh well. Bless and release is what we are told to do so many times. It fits sometimes with upline too. The other thing is to politely listen and then take what works for you and leave the rest - good business sense with any kind of training.

She does have her good points, I don't want to make it sound like she's awful - she's just not supportive of my business even though she thinks she is. lol

 

[finley1991]

So after hearing NOTHING from my director after our end-of-the-month fiasco, she called me Tuesday. I was planning my meeting so I let it go to voicemail. Her message was, "I'm calling to coach you."

WHATEVER!!!!!!!

 

[BethCooks4U]

So after hearing NOTHING from my director after our end-of-the-month fiasco, she called me Tuesday. I was planning my meeting so I let it go to voicemail. Her message was, "I'm calling to coach you."

WHATEVER!!!!!!!

Sounds like she has been talking to her upline or her near miss scared her and now she's trying to get her business back on track.ray:

 

[finley1991]

You're so right Beth! She always does this after she has a near miss. It won't last though.

The good news is that I am signing someone this weekend and I have 2 other GOOD potentials!!!!

I'd be so stoked to sign them all before the end of the month and just keep growing my TEAM!!!!

 

[dannyzmom]

Go Colleen!!

 

[Mel5497]

This is probably going to be a naive question...(I'm a newbie, bear with me)...but don't we agree to certain things when we sign our director contract? I thought that included meetings, training/coaching, et al. Seems to me there should be some accountability in that.

If a director's downline has concerns that they aren't receiving what the director agreed (in writing!) to provide, shouldn't HO pay attention to that. I'd hate to think that the contract is mostly a CYA for HO.

 

[finley1991]

This is probably going to be a naive question...(I'm a newbie, bear with me)...but don't we agree to certain things when we sign our director contract? I thought that included meetings, training/coaching, et al. Seems to me there should be some accountability in that.

If a director's downline has concerns that they aren't receiving what the director agreed (in writing!) to provide, shouldn't HO pay attention to that. I'd hate to think that the contract is mostly a CYA for HO.

DON'T GET ME STARTED!!!! And yes... we do agree to certain things when we accept directorship. My director feels that that doesn't apply to her because she has too much "life." Granted, she has really had pretty tough 2 years, but that doesn't give her free reign to crap on her consultants. Plus I read about consultants all the time who work over their difficulties and theirs are 10x worse than hers.

With that, there really isn't any way for HO to monitor what we do as directors. Part of the reason they raised the director monthly requirement to $750 is to weed out those who aren't working or those who are just purchasing the $350 a month to get their overrides.

My hope is that she will not be my director at leadership. I know it's horrible to say that. But she hasn't done squat for her team in 2 years. And she dumped a lot of it on me when she moved out of state.

But what can you do? My NED has been amazing coaching me every week and my results are incredible. Just need to bump it up a bit more and I'll be where I want to be.

Just need to add 3 more shows in October and need 4 more recruits to reach my goal!

 

[finley1991]

The saga continues...

This past weekend I was in Chicago with some of you at Nancy Jo's director retreat. Friday morning I went to breakfast with the wonderful lady I was rooming with and we said good morning to Nancy Jo. She asked us to join her so we did.

Early in the conversation, Nancy Jo looked straight at me and said, "You're in Chris' 2nd line, right?" And I said yes. She paused for a moment and then said, "And xxxxx is your director?" I said yes again. Then point on she asked me, "Do you ever hear from her? Does she call you?" WOW! As you all know it's been a rocky time with my director and I wasn't about to lie to Nancy Jo. I thought for a moment... hmmm... 2 calls in 6 months... so I responded, "No." She said, "Okay. That's all I needed to know." And that was the end of that and we moved on to more pleasant things.

Just made me wonder, and I know there is no way to enforce this, if upper level directors and HO are ever going to do anything about Directors who never contact their teams...

So in one respect I feel like a bit of a narc, but then again, I wasn't about to lie either.

 

[jwpamp]

Colleen, I think we both know that the fact that you were invited to sit with Nancy Jo was a gift from above....you needed that to happen!

And isn't it amazing that a woman with so much on her plate and so many in her downline know who you are and what your lineage is??? That is so cool!

Oh, by the way, I am so bad with faces and names -- I thought you looked familiar last weekend, but couldn't place how I knew you -- DUH!

That was me with you in the hot tub on Friday night!

Sometimes I am so scatterer brained! Sorry I didn't say "hi"!

 

[finley1991]

That's okay Janice! I thought that was you! I was so overstimulated by that point in the night and I had such a hard time remembering names!

Thanks for your kind words... and you're right. Sitting with Nancy Jo was a gift! I was SHOCKED that she knew where I was in her downline!!!

And I really lucked out because I plunked down in the first row on Saturday and Don Funt sat next to me. He kept looking at my numbers when Suzie Lite was working with us (I was so embarrased at my weak numbers!) and he was really nice about it!

What a great weekend it was!!!!

 

[DebPC]

Mine are the Luna Bars. My favorite of them is Peppermint Stick. I have a big sweet tooth and these are so much healthier than a candy bar. I also like Nutz Over Chocolate and Pecan Pie.

 

[chefkristin]

Do they fill you up?

 

[finley1991]

Okay... never say never!

Saturday just as I was leaving for my show, the phone rings... the caller ID tells me it's my director. (As of now, she's still my director). I didn't answer because I didn't need the distraction before my show.

She left me a message saying that she wanted to talk about PC and do some coaching.

UGH UGH UGH!!!!! Seriously!?!?!? The last time we spoke was July 31st. The last time she called me was Sept. 12th.

She asked me to call her back. She said that if I don't call back, she'll try me again.

I'm really thinking of not calling back for a few reasons:

1. I'm sure she won't try me back (and I'm kinda waiting to see if she actually does).
2. My sales and recruiting have been BETTER THAN EVER since I've been out of contact with her. (According to my NED, I'm averaging over 360% where I was in 2006 and 2007)
3. And I know that whenever I'm doing great, she calls and tells me that I'm not doing that good and that I don't deserve my success.
4. My NED has been coaching me since August.

The last time we actually spoke (July 31st) was because she was going into the repromotion period and was letting me know that she would lose me as her only director unless I submitted enough to put her team over the $4k mark. (She waited to long to ask anyone else on the team to submit but knew that I was the only one consistent enough to have sales). I did and she's not entered the repromo period since (not sure about the relinquishment cycle though... my guess is that she's been pulling it out on the 3rd month). So I don't know if she's calling to be directorly or because she might be on the line again...

UGH. I hate this.

Thanks for reading/listening... any words of advice or encouragement would be greatly appreciated. :approve:

 

[chefkathy]

You haven't spoken to her in SIX MONTHS and then she calls you to do a COACHING CALL?!?!?!!??!Oh, honey, don't waste any more time, energy, or breath on this woman. You are making it without her.

 

[pamperedbecky]

I second what Deb said! Although i'd be curious what she had to say. But don't open yourself up to that if it's got a high probability of being negative and bringing you down.

You ARE doing awesome without her!!!

 

[finley1991]

YOU GUYS ROCK!!!!

Thanks for your answers! I feel better and I have decided not to be in contact as I know it will bring me down.

Although, like Becky, I am curious as to what in the heck she wants!

 

[ChefLisa]

Oh Colleen!

They are so right about you not needing her.

The only thing I recommend is sending her and email thanking her for the offer for the coaching, but letting her know that you are receiving everything you need from your NED.

This is not to throw it in her face, but to let her know you are getting what you need. If you don't contact her, she may indeed contact you again and I know you just don't need that.

 

[Mel5497]

She has been such a recurring frustration, that it'd probably be good to have closure to it. Let her know the best way for you to grow your business is via the coaching from your NED and that you appreciate her respecting your decision.

Good luck...and what a great growth in your business!

 

[micocina]

Definitely don't call her... but if you ever did tell her you're available to coach HER! You are doing amazing things on your own you don't need her to bring you down or try to connect only when you're on top.

 

[jwpamp]

When will she drop off as your Director? Sounds like she needs to go...sounds like YOU are the one keeping her there with your sales and recruiting!

Hang in there, Colleen!

 

[finley1991]

When will she drop off as your Director? Sounds like she needs to go...sounds like YOU are the one keeping her there with your sales and recruiting!

Hang in there, Colleen!

I'm not sure... the last time we actually spoke was when she was on the verge of dropping off so I'm wondering if that's why she's calling this time. Still no call back from her...

I'll keep everyone posted!

 

[chefkathy]

Did you mention this to Chris? What does she say you should do?

 

[finley1991]

I haven't talked to Chris about it. My director situation is a bit taboo... she says (very parentally) that we should work it out between us when I've talked to her about it in the past.

 

[chefkathy]

Sounds like something Chris would say! LOL

 

[finley1991]

UpdateGot an e-mail from my NED this morning that my director "retired" in Feb and now her team is now my NED's first line....

It's funny...I thought I would feel something when this finally happened... wasn't sure if I would feel happy or sad, but honestly, I don't feel anything. Maybe because I'm still in bed and tired!

But the good news is that I signed yesterday's host! I'm on some kind of roll... I've signed three from my last three shows!!!!

 

[pamperedbecky]

Got an e-mail from my NED this morning that my director "retired" in Feb and now her team is now my NED's first line....

It's funny...I thought I would feel something when this finally happened... wasn't sure if I would feel happy or sad, but honestly, I don't feel anything. Maybe because I'm still in bed and tired!

But the good news is that I signed yesterday's host! I'm on some kind of roll... I've signed three from my last three shows!!!!

Way to go with all that recruiting!! Regarding your director, at least you don't have to wonder anymore when "it" will happen!! Keep on plugging along! You're doing AWESOMe!!

 

[BethCooks4U]

Got an e-mail from my NED this morning that my director "retired" in Feb and now her team is now my NED's first line....

It's funny...I thought I would feel something when this finally happened... wasn't sure if I would feel happy or sad, but honestly, I don't feel anything. Maybe because I'm still in bed and tired!

But the good news is that I signed yesterday's host! I'm on some kind of roll... I've signed three from my last three shows!!!!

WOO HOO!! Congrats on the recruiting!

I know what you mean. My director resigned directorship (I guess she's still going to consult) at the end of January. I was so disappointed in the lack of support for the last few years that I thought I'd be so glad to be under my ED but didn't feel any particular way (well except upset that my director didn't bother to TELL me). But now! My ED is giving me tons of help that I never had before! I just LOVE being in her first line!! - I know you love your NED too!

I wonder how long it will take for the names on my checks to change? Mid-month still showed the retired director. I know that isn't important but I like things neat and in order - maybe why I am so frustrated with my office and feel frozen - can't get things moving in my business right now.

 

[chefkathy]

Yay Colleen!!!

 

[finley1991]

!

I wonder how long it will take for the names on my checks to change? Mid-month still showed the retired director.

I wondered that too... so we will see. Someone here (sorry... I don't remember who...I think it might have been Becky) said that it will still say her name if she was your director in that month... so for example, if my director lost her status as of March 1st, she was still my director in Feb so on my Feb commission statement (that we get March 8th), it will still say her name.

My guess is she lost it from lack of 1st line. Doesn't matter though...

 

[ChefLisa]

HOORAY for you! Way to hang in there Colleen! Good things come to those who wait and now that you are working with your NED, things seem to be going great for you!

Lisa

 

[pampereddarla]

Yeah! When my up-line Director retired, I just felt closure on a bad situation. And relief that her First line weren't getting brushed off anymore. I am excited for you and your Team!

 

[DebPC]

To all of you- with absent or unsupportive directors out there. Yes you have it harder then the rest of us- but don't ever let someone else determine your level of success!
Kudos to all of you who are succeeding inspite of that!

 

[PampMomof3]

Colleen~ You are on a ROLL!!:money:Great Job!! I signed my last host too and I was estatic so I can't imagine how you feel with 3!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

When my director resigned, it took almost a month or two (can't remember since it was right after I started 3 years ago) for her name to be gone. It was sad b/c I really like her.

 

[its_me_susan]

Colleen, I know 2 WONDERFUL consultants who who love to have a 3rd roommate at conference. What wave are you going? They are in wave 2.

I hate that your director is doing that to you. And spending $400 of her own money to make the $4000? What? That is soooooo much to spend. Hang in there. I agree with Beth, I would just respond to the positive emails. YOU are doing awesome!



I know I am constantly doing at least half of my teams sales, I would treasure another consultant on my "team" (you guys are a team - she needs to wake up to that fact) like you!

Susan

Okay... so this is a vent that I just need to get off my chest. I posted the other day how frustrated I was that my director called me on the 30th to let me know that she would be entering the repromotin cycle yesterday unless the TEAM got the $4000 in and losing me as her only director. I was already frustrated enough that she waited until the 11th hour to contact us. Even if she had called everyone with a week's notice, maybe the team would have been able to rally. She ended up putting in a $400 order of her own to make the $4k.

Where I am frustrated is that when she called, I told her that I was submitting about $2500 for the month with my last show going in on Friday afternoon. I gave her the exact amount my monthly sales would be. In the discussion, I find out that I personally have been carrying her team sales for all of 2007. Due to a personal issue, I didn't do much in June or July and was in reliquishment myself but knew my team and I would be able to do the $4k in August... and my team did the $4k without my sales! But basically it was my fault that she was losing her directorship because of my crappy sales in June & July... ummm... what about everyone else on the team working?

So I submit the show and wake up to a flaming e-mail from her because she checked the IPT at 7am yesterday and my sales weren't showing up. Ironically, the e-mail i got right after hers was from HO saying that the show I submitted had already shipped (woo-hoo on the fast shipping!). Anyway, I checked the IPT and it was there so I didn't respond.

Basically, my director has not been a director to anyone on our team in over a year. She had planned to go to NC with me and share a room but called me 5 days before we were leaving saying she wasn't going so I was stuck with the $600 bill myself. I admit it was great to have a room to myself but really couldn't afford it but had to suck it up anyway.

When my business started to grow and my sales were great and my team was growing, she constantly put me down, told me I was doing a crappy job with my team, everything she could think of to shake my confidence. She basically doesn't like anyone doing better than her. She earned a trip ONCE (the last time PC went to London... what? 12 years ago?) and earned TPC once in sales. But she always says that she can teach me how to earn those things. Even at conference when people get up to talk about their successes, she'll say, "She's not that good... she doesn't know what she's talking about..."

I was really looking forward to being in my NED's first line. My NED has been coaching me weekly and my business is in a better place than it's ever been. I feel my NED deserves my overrides because she is actually doing her job!

Consulants on my director's team call me because they don't ever hear from her. I don't mind helping them but honestly, that e-mail yesterday was hte last straw for me! I'm working my tail off only to get scolded by her because she is losing her status because she didn't work, not because I didn't work.

Okay... I'm done writing. I guess I don't know what I need to hear to help me feel better but any words would help right now. Thanks for reading!

 

[its_me_susan]

Oh Colleen!

They are so right about you not needing her.

The only thing I recommend is sending her and email thanking her for the offer for the coaching, but letting her know that you are receiving everything you need from your NED.

This is not to throw it in her face, but to let her know you are getting what you need. If you don't contact her, she may indeed contact you again and I know you just don't need that.

I agree!!!! I would tell her you no longer need her for coaching. If she would like you to coach her on how to treat her downline she is welcome to email you. <just kidding on the last part>. I would just close ties and be done with her!

 

[finley1991]

Thanks Susan! The original post that you quoted was from last Sept so I am all set for Conference roommates this year... thanks for looking out for me!The saga ended March 1st when she officially relinquished her directorship and I rolled up to her director, who thankfully, I already had a good relationship with! Business has never been better for me!!! And I think a lot of it has to do with being out from under her bad karma!

 

[its_me_susan]

Thanks Susan!

The original post that you quoted was from last Sept so I am all set for Conference roommates this year... thanks for looking out for me!

The saga ended March 1st when she officially relinquished her directorship and I rolled up to her director, who thankfully, I already had a good relationship with! Business has never been better for me!!! And I think a lot of it has to do with being out from under her bad karma!

Yeaaaaa! I noticed that after I read through. Just felt so bad for you!

 

[finley1991]

Yeaaaaa! I noticed that after I read through. Just felt so bad for you!

Thanks! I feel like I've be paroled!