Warning-Sensitive Topic Being Discussed.

[pampered.chris]

This thread may not be for everyone.
I was listening to a friends 13 yr old daughter telling stories about the kids in her school and the things they are into these days. She has a friend who lost her virginity at 10...10!!! This girl is now in 6th grade, is 13 now, has failed 2 grades that is why she is still in 6th grade. Well the story she was telling was that this girl was sitting w/ her 6th grade boyfriend on the bus ride home from a class trip to Washington DC and they were doing almost everything but having sex!!!
My daughter will be in 6th grade next year and I can NOT believe these are things that kids do at that age. I am so shocked. My daughter started talking about how she had heard about this and that the kids were going around bragging to one another about everything. I was really stunned and didn't know how to react. I know that she will hear these things at school and I just don't know how to talk to her about this stuff. I know that I need to. But I can't get it through her head that her room needs to stay clean or when the dishwasher is clean, that it is her job to unload it, let alone to get her to listen to a sex talk!
Any advice?

 

[stefani2]

My kids are WAY to young for me to give any advise. But, doesn't SEX ED. start in grade 5?

10 years old is sickening.

 

[rennea]

My kids are WAY to young for me to give any advise. But, doesn't SEX ED. start in grade 5?

10 years old is sickening.

Around here Sex Ed does start in grade 5/6. I don't have any kids but have many young people who do work for me. And yes kids now a days start everything way to early.

My advice to you is to talk to your childs teacher and or school nurse about this matter. I believe they will have the resources for you. Teachers have a lot of insight on what is going on in your child's school and classroom.

 

[PamperChefCarol]

Having been the step monster to two girls, and now grandmom to a 11 year (soon to be 12 on Wednesday), my advice is to NOT keep your head in the sand. TALK TALK TALK to your kids. If you haven't already, start a conversation. Build their self esteem. TALK. Take an interest in them and their lives and their opinions. TALK to them, not at them. Give them information and listen to them. Talk to them about choices. Answer their questions honestly, no matter how uncomfortable it might make you feel. Spend time with them.

Saying that "it won't happen to my kid" is a recipe for disaster. Sex ed should start at home right from the beginning. But that's just my opinion.

 

[JAE]

I have boys, and my husband has gone through a book with both of them called Preparing Your Son for Every Man's Battle. He did this with them during their 5th grade years. My church has Purity Weekend that the parent of the same sex attends with the child. My husband took both of them to that during their fifth grade years. School also had a curriculum for this, but by then, they both had done the other things with their dad. I know there is a girl version of the book, too. I haven't read it, though.

Definitely talk about your beliefs and expectations no matter what they are. Also, talk about what you want for her and why your beliefs are important to you. I know many people make special weekend trips for this very topic. Then, periodically, have special times to just go out and catch up on all of life's issues. There has to be a good relationship or this will be a tough subject. 10 years old and 5th grade are not too early to talk about this subject. 13 years old is not too late to get started on the topic, though.

 

[PamperedDor]

Well, Look at my siggy and you will see - I am the proud mom of 5 - 3 beautiful daughters and 2 handsome sons - that being said - I will tell you, it is a scary world!! When my oldest was in 7th grade (she is now just 19) she told me about the "rainbow" game (not getting into it on a thread) I was shocked - seems the girls have no self esteem or don't consider certain things "sex" because its not intercourse. (thanks Pres.!) Anyway, her being my first, I did think I had much more time to discuss the whole sex talk - well I now have had it with my 9 year old - no need to go into full detail with them at that age, just explain certain things and let them lead the way..

There are tons of books out there to help educate our kids - and educate is what we should be doing - Sadly to say - they are becoming more active at younger ages and need to be informed. I have tried to install values and the importance of committment to my 19 year old and 16 year old daughters that hopefully they will uphold, but I am also not stupid. I know that kids will do stupid things, and parents need to keep the conversation open. I let my kids know that they can tell me anything - it doesn't mean I am going to like it - but I am here to listen and help.

I agree, its sad that the kids today (man I sound like my father!!! LOL) give away their childhood way too early. What is the rush to grow up??

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Having been the step monster to two girls, and now grandmom to a 11 year (soon to be 12 on Wednesday), my advice is to NOT keep your head in the sand. TALK TALK TALK to your kids. If you haven't already, start a conversation. Build their self esteem. TALK. Take an interest in them and their lives and their opinions. TALK to them, not at them. Give them information and listen to them. Talk to them about choices. Answer their questions honestly, no matter how uncomfortable it might make you feel. Spend time with them.

Saying that "it won't happen to my kid" is a recipe for disaster. Sex ed should start at home right from the beginning. But that's just my opinion.

I agree! My mother bought my little sister and I a book called "Where did I come from?" It had cartoon illustrations, and in a very innocent way talked about how a man and woman who love eachother have sex and a baby is born. I drew pictures of little sperms with smiley faces in that book when I was about 5 or 6, so I know we had it at a young age.

I'm glad my mother didn't take a "head in the sand" approach and because of that I saved myself- (okay I saved myself for my fiance, but at least I was in my early 20's) :angel:

When I was in 5th grade there were two kids, Becky and Tony that supposedly were "doing- it", and I heard some freaky things about what they did... I am just happy that I was strong enough in my own self worth to tell a boy to shove off when he gave me the "If you loved me, you'd have sex with me" speech. I didn't date a lot because I wasn't willing to put out, but I was able to respect myself and save myself from a lot of pain and grief- which by the way I saw a lot of my friends dealing with, because they spread their legs!

My grandfather gave me a dime once and told me to keep it between my knees whenever I went out on a date- he told me if the dime fell to the floor I was doing something wrong.

 

[chefmeg]

crazy that this topic came up today~I did a show Friday night for a group of teachers (all Elementarty level) and they were telling me about the things happening at our middle school...3 7th graders are pregnant (that means they are 12, maybe 13 years old), "rainbow" parties, sex of all kinds on buses!
My DS starts middle school in September and since they already discussed hygiene, HIV/AIDS and wet dreams in his Family Living class, we are talking to him this coming weekend about sex and all that it entails. I have 2 books that DH and I have read and feel comfortable looking at with DS. I am a firm believer that YOU must talk to your kids before the other children do! I plan to start with what he thinks he knows and then go from there. It is very important to me that hee understands the emotions that come with the changes his body will go through and that sex is both emotional and physical. We expect him to understand that no means no, and that abstinence is best. I am not niave(botched that spelling!) enough to think he won't want to experiment, but I pray that he remembers what we say ( and will continue to say) when he is faced with the situation. It isn't easy raising kids in the age of the Internet, but if you don't tell them your morals, and what you expect, they will come up with their own answers, and that is a recipe for disaster!

 

[merego]

I have a 15 year old son and have always been open with him about sex. My mom never was with me and well, lets just say I wish she had been. My son talks to me about everything and I hear all kinds of stories that make me cringe. I have a friend who has a 6th grader and the stories I have heard are awful as well. I am not sure why these girls think they need to have sex or do other sexual things to get a boy to like them. Parents need to be more involved. I have a 2 year old daughter and I am terrified for her to grow up.
My advice is to be open and honest, but not judgemental. Kids listen alot more than we think. My son can't remember to make his bed, put his dishes away or lock the door behing him, but he knows the reprucussions of what having sex can do. There is alot of peer pressure and ialot worse from when I was in school, but I give my son freedom and he has yet to let me regret it. He has been in situations where kids were drinking or smoking and he chose to call me and get picked up, he has gotten flack from his friends, but that is a life he chooses not to lead and he feels the same way about sex. I have told him how I feel about it, but if he is going to ( which I pray he doesn't anytime soon) please, please, please talk me me or his stepd dad and PLEASE use protection and never force yourself ever on a girl. I think I have scared him from sex after he watched his 2 year old sister be born in the delivery room. Maybe more kids should see that and maybe they would think twice.
Not sure if that helps, but that is my 2 cents good luck, it isn't easy.

 

[pamperedlinda]

........the "rainbow" game (not getting into it on a thread) I was shocked .......

I couldn't resist and I googled it I can only imagine what the boy's mom must think when she does the laundry!

 

[rennea]

I couldn't resist and I googled it I can only imagine what the boy's mom must think when she does the laundry!

It really is disgusting isn't it Linda? I first heard about this a few years ago and couldn't believe that any young woman, well any woman at all would ever do something so degrading.

 

[KellyTheChef]

It really is disgusting isn't it Linda? I first heard about this a few years ago and couldn't believe that any young woman, well any woman at all would ever do something so degrading.

Unfortunately, the world our girls (and boys) are growing up in is such a sex-focused world and image focused world that many girls have little to NO self-esteem. My step daughter (while I have never heard of a rainbow party) has done many things all in the name of "fitting in" and having a guy think she is "pretty and worthy". I can't tell you the amount of pain and grief that she has already been through at the tender age of 16 due to her distorted view of herself.

Thanks for posting this thread...my stepson lives with us (13) and obviously I need to be speaking about this stuff a lot more openly with him so that HE doesn't turn into one of the boys taking advantage of girls who don't value themselves as God values them.

 

[PamperedDor]

I couldn't resist and I googled it I can only imagine what the boy's mom must think when she does the laundry!

Oh you crack me up Linda!!!! Ya - pretty gross isn't it - you should have seen my face when my daughter told me about it - Talk about deer in the headlights!!!! :yuck:

 

[Kitchen Diva]

It really is disgusting isn't it Linda? I first heard about this a few years ago and couldn't believe that any young woman, well any woman at all would ever do something so degrading.

I must admit that this is so sad that it grieves my spirit to learn that kids are doing this, and that obviously parents are missing the boat on some of their parental duties. IMHO- although I do know that some kids will do what they want, but to be that active sexually at that age, I feel lends itself to some sort of attention or disciplinary lacking on the part of the parents.

 

[janetupnorth]

My first thought is...

Second thought is... :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

It is sad how often this happens and how more common it is and how kids pressure each other to do things.

I only hope and pray that I am training my kids to respect themselves and others and instilling the right values for when they are older.

When I was a teen, Josh McDowell had a great ministry for teens. I had this shirt that said, "I'm not doing it"...on the back was I think a hundred reasons of "why not"...

I believe he is more into family ministry now but it was a great ministry then and there are still great ones out there.

One thing to remember for girls is that their dad plays a VERY important role in their lives...Dad needs to show affirmation, love, respect and proper affection throughout their lives. ...same thing goes for a mom and her son. Also, a dad needs to teach their son how to properly respect women by respecting his wife.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

My first thought is...

Second thought is... :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

It is sad how often this happens and how more common it is and how kids pressure each other to do things.

I only hope and pray that I am training my kids to respect themselves and others and instilling the right values for when they are older.

When I was a teen, Josh McDowell had a great ministry for teens. I had this shirt that said, "I'm not doing it"...on the back was I think a hundred reasons of "why not"...

I believe he is more into family ministry now but it was a great ministry then and there are still great ones out there.

One thing to remember for girls is that their dad plays a VERY important role in their lives...Dad needs to show affirmation, love, respect and proper affection throughout their lives. ...same thing goes for a mom and her son. Also, a dad needs to teach their son how to properly respect women by respecting his wife.

Couldn't have said it better myself. My step-sister worked for Josh's ministry back in the day, and he was responsible for me re-dedicating my life to Jesus when I was 15! I wish they had more teen ministries- and I wish parents were more involved...it just breaks my heart!

 

[KellyTheChef]

One thing to remember for girls is that their dad plays a VERY important role in their lives...Dad needs to show affirmation, love, respect and proper affection throughout their lives. ...same thing goes for a mom and her son. Also, a dad needs to teach their son how to properly respect women by respecting his wife.

I agree wholeheartedly! I think Britt has had such a struggle because 1) her Dad (my DH) lives 2,000 miles away from her and 2) Mom doesn't pay much attention to what she's doing or where she is...in fact Mom thinks it's great that Britt "developed" so early and eggs her on to do stuff... Yeah.

All I can do is continue to pray for her and continue to try and direct her in God's direction. It's hard for a young girl to see how much God loves her when He has allowed her to be in such crappy situations family-wise.

 

[chefmeg]

I totally agree about "where are the parents?" when I heard about 12 & 13 yo's being pregnant....when I quit my hospital job, several of my co-workers made comments about how I would be back when DS went into middle school & didn't "need" me anymore! I told them they were nuts! That is when they need you most! NO WAY my kids are going to be in a situation that allows them to investigate these things when they are 11, 12, 13 or even into high school! There are enough ways for them to try to pull the wool over our eyes as it is, why would I help them out by not being home after school. I am very lucky to be a work-at-home Mom!

 

[Sheila]

Yes, it is sad that today's younger generation doesn't think that oral acts are considered "sex".

I very rarely have ever watched Dr. Phil, but I caught an episode once where he interviewed some young girls who were bragging about being popular at school because of their willingness to perform such acts. He then showed these same girls a video interview he had done with boys where he got their honest opinions about how they truely feel about "these types of girls". Needless to say, the girls were shocked at how the boys talked about them behind their backs. The boys basically admitted to using the girls, but would never consider dating one seriously or asking one to marry them.

I highly recommend that you resarch the Dr. Phil archives and see if you can find the video and order it. It will make much more of an impression on your teens that you might be able to do.

My best friend was too embarrassed to talk to her daughter ("L") about sex and agreed that it should be my job. She & I had numerous talks about things like this. After seeing Dr. Phil, I had the opportunity to relay some of the info from the episode to her & 2 of her friends. They were shocked to learn how the boys really felt as well and admitted that this was a normal thing in their school too.

"L" told me on another occassion that her friends didn't have a condom available & used saran wrap instead. I calmly explained to her the difference and why saran wrap was not a feasible substitute.

Oh, and if anyone wants info on how to give the "condom" demonstration, feel free to PM me. I have an excellent one that is funny. They will DEFINITELY remember it for years to come!

For those of you with girls: My nephew's little bride was given a Purity Ring by her mother when she was young. Mom told her "When you feel that you no longer need this, just return the ring. No questions asked." I think it was an AWESOME idea and a great way to allow your child to ask for birth control help without fear of finding the right words to say. When Brad proposed to Jamie, she took off the purity ring and gave it to Brad to keep until the wedding night, replacing Mom's ring with his ring in the interim. (She saved herself for her wedding night.) During the wedding ceremony, just after they lit the unity candle, Jamie held out her hand to Brad and said "give it to me". Brad retrieved the ring from his pocket and handed it to Jamie. Jamie stepped off the stage, down to her mother & returned the ring with a kiss. Everyone at the front of the church who realized what had just happened was BAWLING. It was soooo sweet. :angel:

 

[ivykeep]

Sex was always openly discussed (when I was three I asked my mom how my brother got there and she told me... she explained on the level appropriate for a three year old, but told me very accurately). We had lots of books on the subject... but I do remember being shocked when I was in 5th grade with a friend (who went to a city school) that told me that guys in her school would grab the girls and that some of the girls kept track of how many people had copped a feel on them... I was just stunned.This was 28 years ago and I was about 10 and so was my friend, so it isn't necessarily new, but may be spreading to more conservative areas.

 

[ivykeep]

For those of you with girls: My nephew's little bride was given a Purity Ring by her mother when she was young. Mom told her "When you feel that you no longer need this, just return the ring. No questions asked." I think it was an AWESOME idea and a great way to allow your child to ask for birth control help without fear of finding the right words to say. When Brad proposed to Jamie, she took off the purity ring and gave it to Brad to keep until the wedding night, replacing Mom's ring with his ring in the interim. (She saved herself for her wedding night.) During the wedding ceremony, just after they lit the unity candle, Jamie held out her hand to Brad and said "give it to me". Brad retrieved the ring from his pocket and handed it to Jamie. Jamie stepped off the stage, down to her mother & returned the ring with a kiss. Everyone at the front of the church who realized what had just happened was BAWLING. It was soooo sweet. :angel:

I wasn't even there and you just made me cry!

 

[KellyTheChef]

I wasn't even there and you just made me cry!

Ditto...:cry:

 

[merego]

I couldn't resist and I googled it I can only imagine what the boy's mom must think when she does the laundry!

Ok, I did not know what this was either, so I asked my 15 year old and his 2 friends and they look horrified that I asked that question. They said they knew what it was but weren't going to tell me because it was embarassing to tell a mom. So, I googled it too~EWWWW. My son swears he has never been to one of those, but knows people who have. What is wrong with our society and where are these parents while these parties are going on?? I always talk to the parents before I let my son go, he says I embarass him, but I don't care, I want to know if the parents are home or he doesn't go. Having said that, I have been told parents have been home and this still goes on... Again, what is wrong with our society??

 

[dannyzmom]

One thing to remember for girls is that their dad plays a VERY important role in their lives...Dad needs to show affirmation, love, respect and proper affection throughout their lives. ...same thing goes for a mom and her son. Also, a dad needs to teach their son how to properly respect women by respecting his wife.[/QUOTE]


I have SO much to say in response to this...soooo much. But a public forum is not the place to air my (or my father's) dirty laundry. So... will simply say AMEN JANET!!!!!! You are SO SO SO SO SO right!

 

[merego]

I so agree, I didn't have my dad in my life and it totally affected me even though I had an awesome mom. My husband is a good role model for my son since he made the decision to stop talking to his dad on his own. Communication is key, but I think kids are afraid to talk to their parents in fear of what kind of reaction they will get. I know what kind of reaction I got when I asked my mom and I swore I would never do that to my kids. We were raised catholic, went to private school and let me tell ya, girls from private schools are the least innocent, unfortunately. I think it is because sex-ed isn't ( or at least wasn't taught) when I was in private school and we were just told don't do, save yourself until marraige, what kind of talk is that?

 

[Rebeccascabinet]

I know its hard to be open about sex with our kids, but I made a commitment that I would be when I had kids. I have 2 boys and I have always explained sex in realistic terms (using age appropirate language of course) we always use correct words for body parts, etc., not nicknames or anything like that. I also have read this series of books with my boys since they were toddlers. The books are age appropriate and get more involved as they get older (I think there are 4 books that are read between ages 5-13). Great series that talk in detail about sex, puberty, marriage, everything! The older books have more details so it can get a little embarassing, but I'd rather be embarrassed now then have a sexually active teen later. I've tried to have the lines of communication open between us. Like I told my oldest, its not to judge or spy, but to help him deal with situations in a mature way. So far he has responded well, but I still have many more teen years to go! There is so much out there that scares me, but I have to make sure me and my kids are open and talking.

 

[pampered.chris]

One thing to remember for girls is that their dad plays a VERY important role in their lives...Dad needs to show affirmation, love, respect and proper affection throughout their lives. ...same thing goes for a mom and her son. Also, a dad needs to teach their son how to properly respect women by respecting his wife.

This breaks my heart. Totally breaks my heart and scares me beyond words. My DD's father lives 4 hours away and only sees her about 4 times a year. Not b/c he can't but b/c he is "busy". He is getting married this coming w/end to a woman he has been w/ for over 7 years of my DD's 11 and this woman doesn't like my DD.
Brit (my daughter) was in a mood today, so I went to her room and told her that I wasn't leaving until she talked to me. She climbed into her bed w/ me and we snuggled and she told me how she misses my Boyfriend (deployed to Kuwait) and that she doesn't want her father to get married. That the last time he saw her that he only told her that he loved her 1 time. And that her soon to be stepmom said it 20 times, and she said, "Mom, she doesn't mean it, she just wants me to like her. But my dad maybe only said it once. Why doesn't he love me?" I was devastated. I talked with her some more about these issues but not the sex thing today.
I was one of those young moms. Whose parents heads were in the sand or clouds or where ever the heck they are that weren't paying attention to me. So I am upset w/ myself for being so oblivious that this was going on now!! Her dad and I were never married and split when she was 9mths old.
I just hope that my boyfriend who she has said is more of a father to her than her's has ever been, can help her and guide her and treat her the way she needs to be treated. And I hope that our relationship together will help her to know "how it should be", as he and I have an awesome relationship.
Thank you all for posting on this thread. I was nervous about bringing up the topic, but I really needed to talk to people that could help me!!
Thanks!!

 

[ChefBeckyD]

One thing to remember for girls is that their dad plays a VERY important role in their lives...Dad needs to show affirmation, love, respect and proper affection throughout their lives. ...same thing goes for a mom and her son. Also, a dad needs to teach their son how to properly respect women by respecting his wife.[/QUOTE]


I have SO much to say in response to this...soooo much. But a public forum is not the place to air my (or my father's) dirty laundry. So... will simply say AMEN JANET!!!!!! You are SO SO SO SO SO right!

I wish Dads understood how important they are in their children's lives ~ in how they view themselves, God, and the world around them. It would save a ton of heartache and alot of money spent on therapy as adults if Dads would love their children and model honesty, integrity, kindness and respect.
I'm thankful that I was able to break that chain in our family, and married a man who models all of those things for our son. He is God's gift to me, and to our son, and every day I am thankful that my son will grow up in an environment much different than the one I grew up in.


But on a lighter note...The day we had our ultrasound,after we found out it was a boy, the smile on DH's face was a mile wide, and brighter than a 100 watt bulb. Then, on the walk back to the car, all of a sudden he got this panicked look on his face, and groaned very loudly "Oh, NO!"

When I asked what was wrong, he said "Do you know what this means? This means I'm the one that has to do the Sex Talk!"
I almost peed my pants laughing so hard. (not all that difficult when you're pregnant) When I finally caught my breath (he wasn't laughing) I just patted his knee and said "Don't worry honey, you have several years - so you should be just fine if you start preparing now!"

 

[Rebeccascabinet]

Oh the series of books I was talking about is called "God's design for sex"
Book one age 3-5: The story of me
Book two age 5-8: Before I was born
Book tree age 8-11:Whats the big deal? Why God cares about sex
Book four age 11-14: Facing the facts: the truth about sex and you.Great series highly recommend them.

 

[Rebeccascabinet]

Thats so funny about your husband and the sex talk. I was happy with boys that when it came to puberty my husband would be the one to talk them about it. Unfortunately my husband is in Iraq and my 10 1/2 year old started asking those puberty questions. Couldn't wait for dad to come back next year? NO! He had to start asking now! Guess who is talking to him now about puberty? Me! Not fun. Not fun at all.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Thats so funny about your husband and the sex talk. I was happy with boys that when it came to puberty my husband would be the one to talk them about it. Unfortunately my husband is in Iraq and my 10 1/2 year old started asking those puberty questions. Couldn't wait for dad to come back next year? NO! He had to start asking now! Guess who is talking to him now about puberty? Me! Not fun. Not fun at all.

Now that would scare me....seeing that I have no personal experience with male puberty! I can imagine that it is no fun! Maybe they could do it via email or something? LOL! (J/K!)

 

[Rebeccascabinet]

Yeah I have no experience with male puberty either. Thank God for that book I am reading to him. It has a whole chapter on male puberty with pictures and everything! I don't know what I would have done without it.

 

[janetupnorth]

Now that would scare me....seeing that I have no personal experience with male puberty! I can imagine that it is no fun! Maybe they could do it via email or something? LOL! (J/K!)

No Becky, you only do the chat about "cyber sex and porn" via e-mail.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Yeah I have no experience with male puberty either. Thank God for that book I am reading to him. It has a whole chapter on male puberty with pictures and everything! I don't know what I would have done without it.

I managed a Christian Bookstore for several years, and I remember selling those books - I was single at the time, so never really took much interest in them - I think a trip to Family Christian Stores is in order now. My little guy is about to turn 4, so at the right age to start the series.:thumbup:

 

[Rebeccascabinet]

I think my boys were four when I started. I read the first book a few times over a couple of years period to each of them.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

No Becky, you only do the chat about "cyber sex and porn" via e-mail.

Oh - that reminds me - check out XXXCHURCH.COM

The guy that runs that ministry is Craig Gross, and a good friend of my pastor. He is at our church quite often. He is an amazing man of God, who is fighting a huge battle for the hearts and minds of people who get sucked into porn - via the internet or other types of media.
This website is a good resource for parents of teens too - he speaks truth about porn and teens, and how widely accepted porn is with them in todays society.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

I think my boys were four when I started. I read the first book a few times over a couple of years period to each of them.

Thanks for the recommendation. We decided from the time he was born that we were going to be truthful and forthright about sex with our son. We have always used correct terminology for body parts....although they sometimes get mangled in translation.. My biggest concern so far is that he will be teaching other preschoolers correct names for their anatomy, and their parents won't be so happy. Oh, well....

 

[itsjustCarla]

I agree! My mother bought my little sister and I a book called "Where did I come from?" It had cartoon illustrations, and in a very innocent way talked about how a man and woman who love eachother have sex and a baby is born. I drew pictures of little sperms with smiley faces in that book when I was about 5 or 6, so I know we had it at a young age.

my mom bought me this book and I saved it for my daughter. What I find SAD, is that right now, there are more pregnant girls and more drug activity in the MIDDLE SCHOOL than in the high school. Scares me to death. I trust my kids, but peer pressure is tough.

 

[jbachen]

Thanks for the recommendation. We decided from the time he was born that we were going to be truthful and forthright about sex with our son. We have always used correct terminology for body parts....although they sometimes get mangled in translation.. My biggest concern so far is that he will be teaching other preschoolers correct names for their anatomy, and their parents won't be so happy. Oh, well....

Yeah, watch out for that. A friend of mine was grocery shopping with her son one day, and he said Hi to a cute little girl in another shopping cart. She didn't answer. So he said Hi again. When the little girl still didn't answer him, he shouted at the top of his lungs: I have a penis!! My friend abandoned her cart and ran out of the store!

 

[KellyTheChef]

Yeah, watch out for that. A friend of mine was grocery shopping with her son one day, and he said Hi to a cute little girl in another shopping cart. She didn't answer. So he said Hi again. When the little girl still didn't answer him, he shouted at the top of his lungs: I have a penis!! My friend abandoned her cart and ran out of the store!

LOL








Darn length requirement!

 

[Pampered Laura]

I wish Dads understood how important they are in their children's lives ~ in how they view themselves, God, and the world around them. It would save a ton of heartache and alot of money spent on therapy as adults if Dads would love their children and model honesty, integrity, kindness and respect.

It's difficult nowadays when all of the "Dads" on TV are portrayed as stupid and incompetent.

Think about all the "dumb dads" on kids TV shows. On TV, Dads are made out to be just the person to bring home a paycheck and nothing more. On TV, Mom takes care of all of the discipline & raising of the kids and dad sits on the sofa and watches sports.

I read an article in a Christian magazine not too long ago that there may be some relation between this "dumbing down" of the father's role, and womens "independent-I-don't-need-no-man syndrome". Divorce rates are at their highest (over 50%), and MOST divorced women are not speaking about their childrens father in a respectful way to the children when dad isnt around. Even though it may be cordial, it's usually not a father-knows-best type of conversation about their ex.

Divorce isnt relative to me, but I did think it was an interesting article and makes me think about what my kids watch on TV even more.

 

[lacychef]

Oh wow, I had to search it too... The things kids are doing these days just saddens me---and scares me having 2 girls.
A couple weeks ago, my 8 year old asked me what a French kiss was!

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Yeah, watch out for that. A friend of mine was grocery shopping with her son one day, and he said Hi to a cute little girl in another shopping cart. She didn't answer. So he said Hi again. When the little girl still didn't answer him, he shouted at the top of his lungs: I have a penis!! My friend abandoned her cart and ran out of the store!

Yes, I've had my own experience with that - here is a link to a post of mine from a few months ago....

http://www.chefsuccess.com/f18/out-mouths-babes-funny-26972/

 

[merego]

my 2 year says to people "I bootyliscious". No clue where she got that from and the pronunciation is funny and I try not to laugh, but it is kind of funny b/c she smacks her booty and says it, but I have no idea who taught her that. She does have this petite body and a booty, like her mom and my DH always jokes with me about my butt so maybe she just picked it up. My other thought is her 15 year old brother taught her thinking it was funny.

 

[jbachen]

Becky, that was too funny. I am just waiting for my son's knowledge of correct body part terminology to bite me in the booty, too! As for the rest, I haven't said anything on the serious subject of this post, because I am just flabbergasted (and shocked, saddened, and even scared) by it! I am glad my kids are only almost three, and I haven't had to deal with any of this yet, but I am concerned that the time will be here before I know it. I often toy with the idea of home schooling when I hear things like this... I understand they will lose out on the social aspect of school, but I am not sure that is a completely bad thing... Especially if I choose alternative social settings for them. *sigh*

 

[fikibiff]

I know this won't be the popular way to approach it, but can anyone recommend any non-religious books about sex and morality? I like the idea of the series, starting young - mine are 4 & 5 1/2 and continuing as they get older.

Otherwise, what kind of religious views are discussed in the books? I found a little info on-line, but not sure if "God's design for sex" is for my family. There was something that said the series covered topics such as homosexuality - which would be fine, unless it was a negative approach.

I'm really not looking for a fight about my views, just more info on how to talk to my kids and what the best tools to use are.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

LOL








Darn length requirement!

I can top that... Since my mother started at an early age with us (by purchasing and letting us "read" the book Where Did I Come From I was quite verbal about finding my mom a new husband. My father died when I was not quite two.

I used to go up to men in elevators and in the grocery store and say "Hi- I like you and love you, do you have a penis, and will you marry my mom?"

I guess my mother told me I only asked the really old men- and never any of the cuter, younger ones! Too funny!

 

[rennea]

I know this won't be the popular way to approach it, but can anyone recommend any non-religious books about sex and morality? I like the idea of the series, starting young - mine are 4 & 5 1/2 and continuing as they get older.

Otherwise, what kind of religious views are discussed in the books? I found a little info on-line, but not sure if "God's design for sex" is for my family. There was something that said the series covered topics such as homosexuality - which would be fine, unless it was a negative approach.

I'm really not looking for a fight about my views, just more info on how to talk to my kids and what the best tools to use are.

I again I would recommend talking to your family doctor or a nurse. My sister is a nurse and I know that she has so many resorces to help families with issues relating to this topic.

 

[merego]

I know this won't be the popular way to approach it, but can anyone recommend any non-religious books about sex and morality? I like the idea of the series, starting young - mine are 4 & 5 1/2 and continuing as they get older.

Otherwise, what kind of religious views are discussed in the books? I found a little info on-line, but not sure if "God's design for sex" is for my family. There was something that said the series covered topics such as homosexuality - which would be fine, unless it was a negative approach.

I'm really not looking for a fight about my views, just more info on how to talk to my kids and what the best tools to use are.

I did not take that approach either ( I am also not looking for a fight about religious views). I went to a catholic private school and sometimes that is not the best way to go when discusiing sex ( my opinion). I will try and find the book I used when I talked to my son, it is in a box of books in the garage.
I would prefer my children wait to have sex before marraige, but if they choose not to, I want them to be informed and to be able to come to me.
I was 15 when I had sex and I just don't want my children going down that same path.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

It's difficult nowadays when all of the "Dads" on TV are portrayed as stupid and incompetent.

Think about all the "dumb dads" on kids TV shows. On TV, Dads are made out to be just the person to bring home a paycheck and nothing more. On TV, Mom takes care of all of the discipline & raising of the kids and dad sits on the sofa and watches sports.

I read an article in a Christian magazine not too long ago that there may be some relation between this "dumbing down" of the father's role, and womens "independent-I-don't-need-no-man syndrome". Divorce rates are at their highest (over 50%), and MOST divorced women are not speaking about their childrens father in a respectful way to the children when dad isnt around. Even though it may be cordial, it's usually not a father-knows-best type of conversation about their ex.

Divorce isnt relative to me, but I did think it was an interesting article and makes me think about what my kids watch on TV even more.

I could not agree with you more. I think that there is alot to say about wives in general not respecting their husbands as they should, and TV portraying men as idiots and good for nothing more than being a sperm donor and I'm tired of it. I can't watch shows where men are made to look like whimps, or idiots because I find I start to become disrespectful to my husband and talk back to him and roll my eyes a lot. So I mostly just watch the food network!

TV affects me, I'm very impressionable I guess you could say, so there are not a lot of prime time TV shows that I watch, and I also stay away from Soap Opera's because let's face it- my DH is not like any of those men. He has his shining moments, but he doesn't own his own cosmetic company, he doesn't own a jet, can't just come home whenever he wants, other women aren't clawing all over him, and we don't have a housekeeper named Consuella, nor do live in a mansion where fresh cut flowers and a mini bar appear in almost every room.... LOL