Mom Just Diagnosed With Breast Cancer

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Dayna is right - chemo makes everything taste like aluminum foil. :yuck:

My nephew came up with a recipe for fruit smoothies from one of the morning shows. After some experimenting, here's the recipe that pretty much kept me going during concurrent chemo/radiation and for several weeks thereafter:

1 cup milk (I used 2% but I think whole milk works, too. The milkfat helps the taste.)
1/2 cup orange juice
1 banana
6 strawberries
3 Tbls raspberries
1 Tbls honey
2 ice cubes

Combine ingredients in blender, puree until smooth. (It will be pink in color.)

The recipe says it serves two - and it is a lot of liquid, but I always drank the whole thing.

I used to use mostly frozen fruit but fresh is great when in season! When she gets tired of this blend, you can experiment with other combinations of fruit. I always used a banana, but would combine strawberries with blueberries, peaches and blueberries, peaches and strawberries, etc.

 

[cmdtrgd]

I know she has probably been told this by her doctors, but what should she be eating now (or not eating) and after the surgery? What about during radiation if she does need it?

 

[Dayna]

I don't remember my mom being on a special diet. I think she was pretty much what she could stomach. My brothers made comfort food. I know she couldn't eat after like midnight the night before and didn't have much of an appettie once she got home. She did like soup.

 

[KellyTheChef]

Sorry this isn't an answer to your question about eating...but I thought of something that may help you (or your Mom!) get to sleep when your brain is going 100mph...

Close your eyes (well, obviously!!) and focus on God. Take a deep breath in and think "I trust" and then on the exhale think "you." (I do other variations on this...I don't like "meditating" but this feels more like focusing on Him rather than a meditation....Other things I think: "Thank" "You." or "I love" "You"

Our minds can only think about one thing at a time. This helps so you don't wander off and start thinking of other things and not go to sleep. Plus, with this being almost a "prayer" I feel like I get a better night's sleep on top of it!

Hope this can help you (or someone else!)

Kelly

 

[KellyTheChef]

BTW...I hope that made sense! Once I went back and reread it, it's kindof confusing, and it is a really simple concept!!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

I know she has probably been told this by her doctors, but what should she be eating now (or not eating) and after the surgery? What about during radiation if she does need it?

Log on to the Cancer Survivor's website and do a search on "diet." I had 27 hits come back.

There isn't usually a special diet, but dehydration is always an issue for radiation patients. Keep taking liquids!

 

[chefheathero]

My mom was just diagnosed too at the beg. of JanI totally understand everything you're going through. My mom had her lumpectomy on Jan 8 and another surgery on January 17 to remove lymphnodes. It took several days for her to really start feeling like herself again.

The best thing you can do to help is see a job that needs done and do it. We spent a lot of time asking mom what she needed, and she simply didn't know what to tell us to do. So we just took over the house work, laundry, cooking, take out the trash, etc.

No matter how many times she says she'll be fine to go to appts. alone, she will feel better if someone goes with her for moral support and to take notes. There will be a lot of information thrown at her in a short amount of time. The whole thing is very overwhelming emotionally and in processing all that needs to happen.

Once she feels better from the surgery, it would be good to try to get her to go for short walks for fresh air and excercise. It will help with the stress as will any little hobbies that she enjoys. Keeping her mind busy with positive things will help her heal.

My mom's cancer is a Stage 2, hormone driven, but aggressive type. That just means that she is taking 4 chemo drip treatments, followed by another 12 in pill form and then 6 weeks of radiation.

If your mom is only going to have to do radiation, they must have caught it very early and in her favor. By the way, I have talked to a survivor recently who mentioned using Aquaphor ointment on her skin before her radiation treatments. It kept her skin from burning.

Power cooking is a great idea, too. If your family is staying behind you could freeze a bunch of meals for them and make more when you get to your mom's. The new recipes really don't take very long at all. I think it took about 45 minutes tops to prepare 5 lbs of hamburger and 5 bagged meals. Just make sure to spread the mixture out flat in the bag before you freeze it. It takes up less space and less time to defrost when you're ready to use it.

Don't forget to take care of yourself, too. You'll be doing a lot of extra work and will need to keep your strength and spirits up. You'll probably find that your shows are good therapy for you, too.

Take care. You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.

I am driving out there March 1 and coming back March 6. I told her and my dad that they needed to tell me things and ask me to do things. I am going to let my hosts for the next few weeks what is going on and that they might have another consultant doing their show. I am going to stress to them that having the show (even if I don't do it personally) is going to help keep my mind occupied...I don't want the added stress of canceled shows! Hey, it will be a great way for me to practice the power cooking recipes!!! Too bad they only have a side-by-side fridge....small freezer space. I'll get my niece to help me with the cooking, too. Thanks for the outpouring of support - I really needed it! Oh, and I told my mom that I posted on here and that she should be feeling lots of good thoughts coming her way. She was a bit surprised!

 

[chefheathero]

You're so normal!

I am so exhausted right now, but for some reason I don't want to go to bed. I do have a lot to do, but I don't want to be exhausted again tomorrow. Maybe I'll cry if I go to bed...dunno. I haven't cried in front of hubby today, but it wouldn't be a problem. He is so reassuring with telling me to go take care of them, giving me tons of hugs, letting me chat online with him at work (usually he needs all of his attention to code) and just holding me. He also made dinner. And, I was really feeling weird about how I was reacting. My dad had emergency open heart surgery about 1.5 years ago. I didn't remember being this weirded out. I didn't go out then because I had just been there the week before. They didn't want me to come, or didn't want me to have the expense. Anyhoo, I felt like I was freaking out more with the "C" word than I was with the rib-splitting surgery. He said I was just as freaked out then as I am now....not usually what I want to hear, but I didn't want to "play favorites" with my parents. Plus, if I did play favorites, I expected to favor my dad because 1. hubby hasn't had his dad for 15 years, so my dad is kind of a surrogate, 2. we get along ALL the time, 3. I can be myself around him and 4. I don't have to let things he says slide off me (my mom and I are very opinionated with completely different opinions...it works better if I don't try to convince her or even let her know I have a different opinion), etc. This kind of sounds bad, but I don't care....I'm tired, emotionally raw, on the verge of tears, hungry or upset stomach - can't tell which one, have lots of work to do and just want to keep typing as long as I can without using punctuation at all because it is fun and challenging and keeping my mind off my mom. Damn....didn't work as long as I wanted it to. Trying to keep the humor!

I can so relate to everything you just said. It was about 3 weeks after we found out about my mom's surgery before I could sit through Sunday school or our church service without melting into a puddle. There is just so much to be concerned about. The hardest part sometimes is remember that God is in control. No matter how much we want to worry about something, worry won't change the outcome.

Go ahead and cry when you need to. A brisk walk or aerobic activity seems to help with the venting, too. Don't feel guilty for how you feel. It's a crappy situation, and it sucks! It's almost like you have to go through a certain "grieving" process before you can just deal with the matter at hand. You'll probably feel better when you finally get to see your mom, too. It has to be hard going through it long distance.

Don't beat yourself up too much for how you feel. This too shall pass...

 

[cmdtrgd]

Thanks for the kind words...a friend and I pigged out at Olive Garden yesterday and I was able to be completely silly (not hard right now since my mind is swimming) without her judging me. She is a great friend. I sent Mom some flowers and a Harry and David basket of goodies. Both should be getting there today.

 

[katie0128]

If I PM you, would you send me either your address or mom's address (or both)... I'd love to stick a card in the mail to her. I'm sure she is getting stuff from people she knows, but how fun to get cards and well wishes from complete strangers... just to let you know that they are praying for you. That would lift my spirits.

 

[cmdtrgd]

That would be so nice!

 

[merego]

I would get a 2nd opinion, I am a breast cancer survivor ( I was diagnosed at 23). My aunt currently rec'd some similar news and it getting a 2nd opinion as well.
I will be saying a prayer and thinking about your family.
It is hard to say what to do as everyone is different. I wanted to deal with it more on my own and not draw attention to myself. I was lucky to have wonderful friends and family who were supportive. Be strong and think positive, the power of positive thinking does wonders :angel:

 

[cmdtrgd]

When it starts with feeling a lump, going to an ultrasound and there is a biopsy that is positive for malignancy, it is a pretty sure thing.

 

[katie0128]

Even so, a 2nd opinion isn't a bad idea. Different MDs have different levels of experience with breast cancer and may have different ideas of what the treatment options are. My boss' mom was diagnosed with breast cancer a few months ago... same situation as your mom. My boss insisted she get a 2nd opinion - not to confirm the diagnosis, just to question other treatment options. The 2nd opinion MD ended up having a different opinion on what the course of treatment should be and she ended up liking the 2nd guy better because he wanted to be more aggressive and that is what she wanted. He also was willing to do a lumpectomy, where the 1st MD said he wouldn't do that... it was all or nothing with him.

And don't forget a 2nd opinion doesn't mean you don't trust your primary MD or are necessarily going to switch MDs. It just means that you want to have another person reviewing your case for possible alternatives. A good MD knows this... after all, many of them ask their colleagues for their opinions on cases for the same reason... just to have a fresh mind and fresh set of eyes.

 

[cmdtrgd]

I'm not sure how many doctors she has seen, but I feel confident with what I have been told. She is having a lumpectomy and the sentinel lymph node thingie (technical term) to see what is going on in the lymph system.

 

[PurpleAngel]

Sending prayers and good wishes

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

I'm not sure how many doctors she has seen, but I feel confident with what I have been told. She is having a lumpectomy and the sentinel lymph node thingie (technical term) to see what is going on in the lymph system.

It's a metastasis, but most people just refer to them as "mets."

 

[janetupnorth]

I would get a 2nd opinion, I am a breast cancer survivor ( I was diagnosed at 23). My aunt currently rec'd some similar news and it getting a 2nd opinion as well.
I will be saying a prayer and thinking about your family.
It is hard to say what to do as everyone is different. I wanted to deal with it more on my own and not draw attention to myself. I was lucky to have wonderful friends and family who were supportive. Be strong and think positive, the power of positive thinking does wonders :angel:

1. Glad you survived.
2. Glad me NEW doctors listened to me back when I pushed for mammograms in my late 20's. My OLD doctor wouldn't listen and said I didn't need one until I was 40. Sorry, mom had it twice not taking ANY chances!!!!

On a side note, not all cancer if found by self-exams, some like my mom's first instance could only be seen on a mammogram. It was fibrous and looked like cotton pulled apart on the X-ray - she had NO LUMPS! But it was very much cancer and very dangerous. If she had skipped mammograms, she may not be alive today.

 

[cmdtrgd]

Just a quick update...Mom received the flowers and Harry and David basket I sent her and it really gave her something to take her mind off things for a while. On Friday they went to the doctor and, for some reason, the doc told them that if something was needed after the surgery it could be chemo, not radiation as previously thought. Mom didn't want to talk about it, so I know nothing else. The surgery is on Tuesday and I have a RFL fundraiser that night which, according to the coordinator, will be done in my mom's honor. Hopefully the surgery will go okay and I won't be driving out to Colorado after the show. I will be going out on Saturday and staying for a week. I had already planned to go out in April (I go out twice a year to spend time with family and do shows) and will keep that on the calendar.

 

[janetupnorth]

Kate - Keep us posted after her surgery Tuesday - will be praying that all goes well!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Just a quick update...Mom received the flowers and Harry and David basket I sent her and it really gave her something to take her mind off things for a while. On Friday they went to the doctor and, for some reason, the doc told them that if something was needed after the surgery it could be chemo, not radiation as previously thought. Mom didn't want to talk about it, so I know nothing else. The surgery is on Tuesday and I have a RFL fundraiser that night which, according to the coordinator, will be done in my mom's honor. Hopefully the surgery will go okay and I won't be driving out to Colorado after the show. I will be going out on Saturday and staying for a week. I had already planned to go out in April (I go out twice a year to spend time with family and do shows) and will keep that on the calendar.

If I could choose between one and the other, I'd take radiation.

Of course, my face glows in the dark like a Timex watch, but I'm still ticking!

 

[janetupnorth]

I've heard that radiation is a lot easier on the body than the chemo.

 

[cmdtrgd]

I don't understand the difference nor why one would be chosen rather than the other. However, I will be able to ask questions at the RFL fundraiser tomorrow night.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Maybe I'm not a fair judge of the two, since I had them concurrently. Together, they really pack a wallop. Remember - I am not an expert, I'm only sharing my experience from several years ago.The radiation is a slow burn, sort of like spending too much time in a suntan bed with every part of your body, except one, covered in sun screen. It is very tiring. Still, even on a daily basis, the treatment is over in a few minutes and you go your merry way.Chemo, OTOH, is basically a poison that is strong enough to kill the cancer but too weak to kill the patient. It screws up body chemistry, makes food taste like aluminum foil, and has side effects similar to a bad case of the flu. It is a long treatment process, sitting in a chair with an IV that pumps the chemo therapy into your system. (There are also pumps you can carry with you, connected to your veins, that automatically push the therapy at pre-defined times.)That said, anti-nausea drugs have come a long way and make it better but I'd still rather do radiation.

 

[janetupnorth]

I know one lady here currently just finishing chemo and starting radiation. She described similar to KG - chemo just changed EVERYTHING for her and really seemed to mess with her. Radiation isn't easy, but she felt more "normal" with it.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

The thing you have to keep in mind, Kate, is that there are many different kinds of cancer - there is no magic bullet that works in all cases. Some respond the best to chemo, some respond the best to radiation, and some respond the best to concurrent use of both.

 

[katie0128]

The thing you have to keep in mind, Kate, is that there are many different kinds of cancer - there is no magic bullet that works in all cases. Some respond the best to chemo, some respond the best to radiation, and some respond the best to concurrent use of both.

And that is exactly why you ask as many questions as you can (to survivors, to doctors, to nurses), do your own research (the medical library at your local hospital is a good place for current info), and then - most important of call - come back here and lean on all of us for support. We :love: ya and will be here whenever you need us!

 

[janetupnorth]

Actually, Kate - just so you know, this triggered me to quiz my mom some more.She had breast cancer - simple mastectomy years ago. Then they continued to do mammograms on the side without the implant...she got breast cancer again years later. I asked her if she still goes for mammograms and she said no because she had two mastectomies and has implants. I said, "Well, what about all your lymph nodes and what is left because the mastectomies didn't take EVERYTHING?"Well, now we are going to doctors and asking a few more questions to clear up what happens now...I'd hate for her to still get cancer AGAIN if there is anything left there to get it...

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Hi Kate!

Just came to check in and see how things are going - you and your mom and family are in my thoughts and prayers......

 

[Teresa Lynn]

Kate,
just checking on you, & your family
Hope all is well

 

[cmdtrgd]

Thanks. She is still in surgery. I should know more in a couple of hours.

 

[baychef]

Prayers for you and your Mom (and the rest of your family too). As all have said here, they have come such a long way with all cancer treatments but especially breast cancer. My grandmother had breast cancer in the early 70's and I don't believe she had treatments (she needed them however). The surgery was very crude.

One day at a time, my friend.

 

[PamperedTammy]

Kate-
My prayers are with you and your family right now. I know that must be hard, but just remember the Lord will not put more on you than you can handle. Take care and keep us posted on how things are going.

 

[janetupnorth]

Prayers for you and your Mom (and the rest of your family too). As all have said here, they have come such a long way with all cancer treatments but especially breast cancer. My grandmother had breast cancer in the early 70's and I don't believe she had treatments (she needed them however). The surgery was very crude.

One day at a time, my friend.

Yes, they've come a LONG way!

My mom's first surgery was in the 80's, second this decade. She goes on and on and on about the differences!

 

[baychef]

Kate-
the Lord will not put more on you than you can handle.

And then Mother Teresa added....I just wish he wouldn't trust me so much.

 

[Chef Michelle D]

I have not read this whole tread just wanted to say I hope your mom is okay. When my mom had breast cancer 12 years ago she had a lump removed then radiation for 7 weeks. She had it again Jan of 07 and had the lump removed again (the oppisite breast this time) and again had radiation.

Your mom is in my prayers I hope she is okay.

 

[cmdtrgd]

Okay, I talked with my Dad a bit ago. She is out, the surgery went fine and I'll be able to call her later tonight and talk with her. They are keeping her in the hospital overnight (planned) so the doc can see to her needs.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Keep us posted - we're all thinking of her, of you, and all your family.

 

[cmdtrgd]

I was able to talk with Mom at 5pm today. She felt as fine as you could after being cut, and she was very positive. She hadn't seen the doctor yet, so she couldn't tell me much more. I'll know more tomorrow. She said she was looking forward to seeing me on Saturday. So, I did my Relay for Life fundraiser tonight - $700 in sales so far with another 10-12 orders coming in, 3 bookings so far, one recruit lead who could also be a registry. The host is going to try to get to a $2000 show. We are submitting it as a cooking show and I will donate 15-20% and they will use the free product shopping spree to get products to raffle off and use for silent auctions. We are doing another fundraiser in May, too.

 

[janetupnorth]

I was able to talk with Mom at 5pm today. She felt as fine as you could after being cut, and she was very positive. She hadn't seen the doctor yet, so she couldn't tell me much more. I'll know more tomorrow. She said she was looking forward to seeing me on Saturday. So, I did my Relay for Life fundraiser tonight - $700 in sales so far with another 10-12 orders coming in, 3 bookings so far, one recruit lead who could also be a registry. The host is going to try to get to a $2000 show. We are submitting it as a cooking show and I will donate 15-20% and they will use the free product shopping spree to get products to raffle off and use for silent auctions. We are doing another fundraiser in May, too.

Great on both accounts - Mom and the show. Let us know her results later!
She'll be tired, but hopefully good. Part of the long battle is over.

 

[baychef]

Kate, thanks for keeping us updated. Glad to hear that your Mom's surgery is over. Your going to help her and your family out will mean so much to all of you. Your are in our thoughts!

 

[etteluap70PC]

Kate, I can not even imagine what you are gong thru with your mom. I will hope and pray that she has the best outcome possible. Going thru something like this is one of my biggest fears. You seem like a strong person. I hope you have lots of support arround you!

 

[cmdtrgd]

Thanks for everyone's support and love!

 

[AJPratt]

Kate: I am sending some good thoughts your way. NEVER, EVER underestimate the power of faith!

 

[lacychef]

Hope you have safe travels!

 

[cmdtrgd]

Thanks...another quick update: the pathology from the lymph nodes came in and there is NO trace of the cancer cells in the lymph nodes!!! Chemo will most likely still happen.

 

[janetupnorth]

Thanks...another quick update: the pathology from the lymph nodes came in and there is NO trace of the cancer cells in the lymph nodes!!! Chemo will most likely still happen.

That is good to hear - they caught it early then!

 

[Grandmarita]

I can give you very recent first hand experience, for myself. My annual mammo was Aug. 7th. I went thru the usual, then ultrasound, then the
needle biopsy. It came back clean but that was not consistent with the
images. We went on our scheduled month's vacation and I saw the surgeon
on Sept. 12. The surgery was Sept. 20th and a .9mm spot of cancer was
excised. It went for a pathology report and I learned on Sept. 26th that
I had invasive lobular carcinoma. We went back in on Oct. 4th to get a clean margin around the spot where the cancer was. That required an MRI
to be certain the other breast was clear, and to pinpoint that all the cancer had been removed. On Oct. 4th the surgeon had dye administered to the lymph nodes closest to the excision site. She took the first two sentinal nodes (they act as the gate to the other nodes in the armpit). They were clear and I am now considered to be cancer free. However, the aftercare
and preventive procedures for me, required the 33 sessions of Radiation over the course of seven weeks. I had a 10AM appt. and the actual exposure was only about 60 seconds all total, each day. It took longer to position me
than the actual treatment. The skin generally holds up well for the first four weeks. You hardly see or feel any difference. It varies with each person. I know I had lots of prayer support, and prayed a lot myself. I consider myself blessed that my tender skin held up as well as it did. My radiation team was very upbeat and positive. The nurses and the Chief of Radialogy saw me as often as needed but definitely once a week. They gave me ointments and solutions to keep the skin moisturized and to heal any blistering that came at
the beginning of the fifth week. It all healed up within two weeks of the last treatment. You'd hardly know, now, that I had had surgery. My surgeon was a woman who believes firmly in breast conservation and I had complete confidence in her.

Now for the nice things that people did for me, that really provided an uplift.
My parish put me on the prayer list. Folks sent cards. Our ladies guild sent me a very unexpected bouquet of rainbow colors that lasted for the first two weeks of my radiation. My stockbroker sent a huge bouquet of pink carnations and white snapdragons. A priest friend told his parish about my situation, and the Prayer Shale ministry knit me a Shale and sent it to me via
him with a prayer attached that still comforts me every evening when I sit in my recliner and wrap it around me. It was made of the very soft yarn that some folks make neck scarves of. It felt so good on my tender skin when I didn't want to wear anything else in the final two weeks of treatment. One of
my best friends brought over dinner, as did my son's wife. Others just called and chatted at times when I began to feel like a shut-in. I did skip Sunday Mass a couple of times when I was just too tender to want to put a bra on,
and when I had not slept well the night before. Other than that, life goes on.
I certainly did not lose my appetite, and any goodies that were brought over were very much appreciated.

My treatments spanned Oct. 31 thru Dec. 14th. During that time I had the joyful anticipation and excitement of my daughter getting married on Dec. 1st. They decided to have the wedding in my town so that I did not have to travel at that time in my treatments. I got through that day better than expected. The following two days were ones that I babied myself, and pulled dinner out of the freezer, or had my husband pick up take outs at our local restaurant. He was wonderful. Did our grocery shopping, vacuuming and anything that chose not to handle. I conserved my energy for getting to and from the treatments. I drove myself the 30 mile round trip all but one stormy day when I asked him to take me.

Hope this gives you some insight. I turned 71 during my treatments. I consider myself very healthy other than needing to lose 50 pounds. Some how it was not as horrible an experience as I had feared. I was so blessed to have such wonderful care from very sensitive medical professionals.

I was referred to an Oncologist who prescribed Arimidex for the next five years. I do not have to have Chemo, Praise the Lord!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Thanks...another quick update: the pathology from the lymph nodes came in and there is NO trace of the cancer cells in the lymph nodes!!! Chemo will most likely still happen.

It's the old good news, bad news routine, isn't it? The good news, we think we cured your cancer. The bad news, we're gonna make your hair fall out, anyway, just to make sure.

Grandmarita pretty much backs up what I said earlier about radiation, too.

I love survivor stories!

 

[Grandmarita]

I meant to add the title of a book that was given to me by the practice where I have my annual mammogram. I think of it as my Breast Bible. The real title is: Dr. Susan Love's Breast Book 4th edition, published by Da Capo in 2005. It may have been updated since then. Check at your local library or at Amazon.com. The ISBN # is: 0-7382-0973-2 and the US price is $22/$29.50 Can. It has excellent line drawings and certainly answered a lot of questions, and prompted others that I made a list of to discuss with my physicians. I highly recommend it as a gift to your Mom if she likes to know all there is to know about what she is facing into.

Re: Chemo versus Radiation. Apparently the size of our cancer had something to do with whether we need one or both. Those who have
a mastectomy do not generally have to go through the radiation. Those with certain genes factors are candidates for the chemo in addition to the radiation. Everyone is unique. I will be praying for your Mom and you.