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[ahammons]

Yeah, what did you do? I never got an e-mail about a package in the mail.

I got the e-mail about a package in the mail too.

 

[crystalscookingnow]

Ok... so i just signed up for Married for life... and then I get an email about some package being sent to me in the mail... hmm... what exactly did I sign up for? lol. Maybe I should go back and read what I just got myself into

I was wondering that myself!

 

[PamperedDor]

hmm - I didnt get one -

Ashlee - sorry to hear of your troubles - don't give up - sit down (when he comes back) and share each others dream - ACCEPT that it might not be the same -and help each other achieve what theirs is - trust in each other - and share lots of laughter together - try to enjoy each others interests, even if they aren't yours to begin with- Who would have thought I would LOVE to watch soccer - never mind European soccer!!! AND he would fall in love with my PC products or my love of decorating, entertaining and totally stressing on perfection!

Go for it and put your heart and soul into what make both of you happy - and all will work out in the end!!

 

[Christ Follower]

DH and I have been in a couples class through our church and have read some AMAZING books that (with good biblical advice and the word of God) have totally transformed our marriage.

I can look up the authors if anyone wants them, but the names are:

The Five Love Languages

Married and how to stay that way

Rocking the Roles

I am sure there are a TON of other great books and resources out there, but I highly recommend these ones.

 

[epimomma99]

thank you so very much for putting this link in. my husband & I have been married 7 years!! The year we married we had the priviledge of being at my grandparents 50th anniversary.

 

[PamperedDor]

Ohh so bumping again - thanks epimomma - keep this thread alive -

Ride a roller coaster ladies -

 

[climbercanoe3]

My hubby and I have been married for almost 9 years (April 17). We have known each other for 15 years. My parents were high school sweethearts and are still happily married. Unlike most of their friends that married at 17 and 19. My husband's parents married after college and are happily together too.
I'm sure it helped growing up with such positive role models for both of us. I think it seems the most common trait is respect. It doesn't mean they never disagreed, it just means they found ways to get through the disagreements. They also seem to do a bit of give and take when it comes to their likes of activities. A funny story is that my Dad loves his boat. He loves to go out in it and loves to sleep on it and would love to live on it. My Mom loves it, but not as much. My Dad is always trying to get my Mom to take the wheel. She has no desire to learn how to drive it. So he tried telling her that it was a safety reason she should learn. In case something ever happened to him while they were on the water, she would have to know how to dock the boat. Her answer was I'm all set I'm sure I can just run it into the beach if you have any problems. It is great to hear all about everyone's stories.

 

[christinaspc]

My husband and i have been married in september for 7 yrs. we have had some major tirals and we are still working on them but i am gald jae started this thread we are going to be married for life I do believe in it and so does he i think if we didn't we still wouldn't be together today... We have known each other for 15 yrs now and i can't imagine my life without him and it is funny how people grow on you and you grow on them and grow together... okay now i am rambling lol

 

[kspry]

" It's free and you'll get a weekly e-mail if you want."

No, thanks.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Okay - need to post so it doesn't end on a nasty note......


This is a great thread - I also know many of the people who work at or with this org., in fact, some of them were at my wedding , and one of them did pre-marital counseling for DH and me.:thumbup:

We have been married for almost 9 years. Like everyone else, we have ups and downs - but we are most definitely a team. We "fit". There are days when I'd like to wring his neck, but I'm sure he has those days with me too. However, we have many more days when we are just in tune with each other. Our love has developed over the years into something so solid and stable. We still have moments of the heart fluttering stuff, but what I really value in our relationship is that knowing that we are for each other, and together for life. We aren't dependent on each other, but we have become so interdependent - cannot imagine life without him. One thing that makes me fall in love with him all over again on a regular basis is watching and listening to him with our son. I am blessed to have a husband who takes his role as Mate and Daddy seriously.

 

[chefjeanine]

Okay - need to post so it doesn't end on a nasty note......

Yeah, what's up with that. I didn't sign up either but I also didn't feel it necessary to make a comment that sounded REALLY nasty.

 

[dianevill]

In any responses to this nasty note, please don't quote the comment. I'm pretty sure I know who you're talking about and many, many of us have her on Ignore (if you put it in quotes, we all see the comment). I don't see any nasty note in this wonderful thread - the Ignore feature must be why, so please keep the thread nice for those of us who are so sick of her drama!

Hope that makes sense!

 

[wadesgirl]

I didn't sign up but DH and I will celebrate our 2nd anniversary this summer. We've been together for 5 years.

My biggest inspiration is my sister. She's in her early 30's and celebrated their 15th anniversary right after we got married (they'll celebrate 17 this year). She said the other day that she realized that she's been married more than half her life by now. And getting married so young and with kids, if they can make it anyone can. They did hit a rough patch at about 7 years and almost divorced. My sister had it all planned out, was looking for places to live, etc. But the divorce papers showed up on the day my BIL checked the mail, it was the first he knew about it! They worked things out and have been together ever since.

Plus growing up in an extremely disfuntional house - due to my own mother - I have promised myself that we are in this for the long run. I will not have that happen to me or my children.

 

[janetupnorth]

Wow, that ignore feature really does make life less stressful!!!!Whatever it was, if you don't like the topic, move on, don't rain on someone else's wonderful parade.I got married on 9-11 (he-he) fitting for lifeguards, firefighters, etc. Besides DH can't remember dates, even though I had it engraved in his wedding ring. It was funny watching him try to pry it off one year to read the date!!!!After 8 1/2 years of marriage, he FINALLY remembers that he got married on 9-1-1...kind of helped that 2 years later 9-1-1 happened and ruined all chances of a "normal anniversary" for awhile.I have to agree with Becky, I have a wonderful husband and father to my kids. Is he perfect? Nope, but neither am I. We both do things that bother each other but we focus on SERVING each other and in that we find joy and we find that in being served, we want to serve. Come on ladies, if your man is doing dishes and cleaning the house for you, don't you desire to make him a nice meal or give him time for his hobbies or something? It's win-win! As soon as we become selfish and self-centered problems start to occur.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Wow, that ignore feature really does make life less stressful!!!!

Whatever it was, if you don't like the topic, move on, don't rain on someone else's wonderful parade.


I got married on 9-11 (he-he) fitting for lifeguards, firefighters, etc. Besides DH can't remember dates, even though I had it engraved in his wedding ring. It was funny watching him try to pry it off one year to read the date!!!!

After 8 1/2 years of marriage, he FINALLY remembers that he got married on 9-1-1...kind of helped that 2 years later 9-1-1 happened and ruined all chances of a "normal anniversary" for awhile.

I have to agree with Becky, I have a wonderful husband and father to my kids. Is he perfect? Nope, but neither am I. We both do things that bother each other but we focus on SERVING each other and in that we find joy and we find that in being served, we want to serve. Come on ladies, if your man is doing dishes and cleaning the house for you, don't you desire to make him a nice meal or give him time for his hobbies or something? It's win-win! As soon as we become selfish and self-centered problems start to occur.

LOL - this reminds me of a Hallmark Card I bought for DH a while back. On the cover was a picture of a man holding a baby, while vacuuming the floor, and the caption read "Do you have any idea how sexy you look right now?".....

 

[MissChef]

In any responses to this nasty note, please don't quote the comment. I'm pretty sure I know who you're talking about and many, many of us have her on Ignore (if you put it in quotes, we all see the comment). I don't see any nasty note in this wonderful thread - the Ignore feature must be why, so please keep the thread nice for those of us who are so sick of her drama!

Hope that makes sense!

Diane, I am glad I read more into this thread, because I almost did quote her! Ughhh.... I'm feeling like Carolyn.... Just go the beep away, already! She absolutely disgusts me!

Wow, that ignore feature really does make life less stressful!!!!

Whatever it was, if you don't like the topic, move on, don't rain on someone else's wonderful parade.

I got married on 9-11 (he-he) fitting for lifeguards, firefighters, etc. Besides DH can't remember dates, even though I had it engraved in his wedding ring. It was funny watching him try to pry it off one year to read the date!!!!

After 8 1/2 years of marriage, he FINALLY remembers that he got married on 9-1-1...kind of helped that 2 years later 9-1-1 happened and ruined all chances of a "normal anniversary" for awhile.

I have to agree with Becky, I have a wonderful husband and father to my kids. Is he perfect? Nope, but neither am I. We both do things that bother each other but we focus on SERVING each other and in that we find joy and we find that in being served, we want to serve. Come on ladies, if your man is doing dishes and cleaning the house for you, don't you desire to make him a nice meal or give him time for his hobbies or something? It's win-win! As soon as we become selfish and self-centered problems start to occur.

I have NEVER put anyone on ignore!!! Well that changes as of this thread.... this was a beautiful thread to me, until she bulldozed her havoc....she's like the Plague.... and now I'm celebrating because I found your antidote! The Ignore feature is my new best friend. Pretty soon she will be typing to no one because she will be permanently blocked from everyone.... should become a part of that thread KG made "the hitchhiker guide" as one of the things to do to make your life easy, when you start just automatically put her on ignore :thumbup:
Okay, I'm done now.... I just am glad I read more and didn't ruin your experience on this great thread!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

It's already in there - right here.

 

[MissChef]

It's already in there - right here.

Oh, I know you show us how, I was just talking about her specifically....to actually state that SHE needs to be ignored, but she's on your iggy list, I'm sure... so you don't even know what I'm talking about! LOL!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

There actually is a way to put someone on universal iggy, however, only Greg and Deb have the power to do so.BTW, when someone is on you iggy, you can choose to read their posts, or continue to leave them obfuscated. So, yes, I have sometimes looked at a post here and there. Doing so reaffirms my decision to put someone on iggy. In at least two cases, someone came off my iggy list as they proved they had come around. Sadly, several more still reside there, although, many of them no longer post here. I can only assume that they're over there, screwing up that other site.

 

[janetupnorth]

Yeah, it took me awhile to ignore because I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt...over and over again...and try to find some good in them and feel the need to defend others from the bad comments. But only so long before you could possible get dragged down with them, so ignore it is. It is so relaxing to see the good and miss the bad! There is a difference between having something bad happen on an order, shipping, in life, etc. to you and venting vs. constantly trying to rain on someone else's parade.When a clean dog and a dirty dog go out to play, the clean dog thinks he will "clean up" the dirty dog and make him nice like him, but inevitably all that happens is the clean dog gets dirty. So, moral of the story, don't keep playing with dirty dogs, unless you want to get dirty because you usually aren't going to clean them up.He-he and don't worry guys, none of you are on ignore...my list isn't even a "list" yet.

 

[christinaspc]

gee and to think I thought you all thought my comment was horrible when i didn't think it was...

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Soooo, anyone else have a Married For Life story they'd like to share?


Who on this board has been married the longest? (to the same person...heehee)

 

[janetupnorth]

Soooo, anyone else have a Married For Life story they'd like to share?


Who on this board has been married the longest? (to the same person...heehee)

Not me, but my dentist has been married 56 years (his wife helps him daily in his practice). It is hilarious, sometimes they fight like cats and dogs in front of patients, but everyone knows in the end they have the utmost respect for each other and wouldn't know what to do without the other one.

My DH's grandparents were married 63 years the day they both died...Grandpa died exactly 6 months after Grandma...we believe more of a broken heart than medical!

 

[MissChef]

I haven't been married the longest, I've been married for almost 13 years, but I did live in sin , which I think I might have done differently had I been walking closer with Jesus at that time, but I have been with my husband for 18 years! I met him about 6 months after I graduated from high school and started living with in about 6 months after that, and at about 4 years and 10 months, we decided it was time, and we actually got married on our anniversary of making our relationship official five years previous. I was pregnant with our son 6 weeks later! Funny thing is my very first wedding anniversary was on a Sunday, and it was my very first Mother's Day too!!!:love:

 

[AnnieBee]

We started dating literally the day after my husband arrived in USA from his native Ireland - August 22, 1984. One of those - love at first sight stories - and it only gets better year after year - I only wish my kids will be as fortunate to find a man as wonderful as their father and the happiness we have been blessed with!

I had to post after seeing this! I moved to the US to start grad school in '97 and met my DH the very next day for the first time . We didn't "officially" start dating for another 6 months (kept organising to go places with friends that only the two of us ended up going to!) but about 2 weeks after I met him I got this strong feeling (almost like I was hearing myself speak aloud, but it was in my head) that this was who I was going to marry... We're coming up to our 8th anniversary - I can't believe it has been that long!

As for books, I can also recommend the 5 love languages one, and also "For Women Only" (and "For Men Only") by Shaunti Feldman. Very cheesy titles, but they are very good for learning about what your spouse needs and wants from you as a woman (or man, for the other book! ). You may think you know alot about how men think and feel, but this book is still very eye opening!! (It's based on the answers given by men to questionnaires. There are numerous times when guys say, "I can't believe my wife didn't know/understand that about me..."). Sounds obvious, but it's well worth reading. I did it in a women's discussion group, with ladies who had been married for varying lengths (including 20+ years), and we all benefitted from it alot. It does focus on what the women can do for their husbands in the relationship, but bear in mind that there is a book for men too!

IMO, the most important things are accepting each other as you are, and saying sorry and forgiving. And committment of course!! (And I do agree about not putting up with abuse etc).

Hope this doesn't sound "preachy", just wanted to share some things that have been helpful to me

 

[ChefBeckyD]

I had to post after seeing this! I moved to the US to start grad school in '97 and met my DH the very next day for the first time . We didn't "officially" start dating for another 6 months (kept organising to go places with friends that only the two of us ended up going to!) but about 2 weeks after I met him I got this strong feeling (almost like I was hearing myself speak aloud, but it was in my head) that this was who I was going to marry... We're coming up to our 8th anniversary - I can't believe it has been that long!

As for books, I can also recommend the 5 love languages one, and also "For Women Only" (and "For Men Only") by Shaunti Feldman. Very cheesy titles, but they are very good for learning about what your spouse needs and wants from you as a woman (or man, for the other book! ). You may think you know alot about how men think and feel, but this book is still very eye opening!! (It's based on the answers given by men to questionnaires. There are numerous times when guys say, "I can't believe my wife didn't know/understand that about me..."). Sounds obvious, but it's well worth reading. I did it in a women's discussion group, with ladies who had been married for varying lengths (including 20+ years), and we all benefitted from it alot. It does focus on what the women can do for their husbands in the relationship, but bear in mind that there is a book for men too!

IMO, the most important things are accepting each other as you are, and saying sorry and forgiving. And committment of course!! (And I do agree about not putting up with abuse etc).

Hope this doesn't sound "preachy", just wanted to share some things that have been helpful to me

DH and I agree - these are great books - we have both read them (both of them) and sometimes laughed out loud at the things we take for granted that we thought we understood about each other, but actually didn't have a clue how the other really felt!

 

[AnnieBee]

Becky - I'm still waitng for my DH to read the mens' one! Of course I'm dying to know what it says too He keeps meaning to borrow it from a friend. I have two copies of the womens one, one to keep (I need to re-read it!) and one to loan out...

 

[AnnieBee]

PS - I also agree so much with your post #60...

 

[janetupnorth]

I also have read both of those books (yes I read the men one too) and DH has read his...they are both good. Here is a list of ones I find good:The Five Love LanguagesLove & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately NeedsFor Women OnlyFor Men OnlyPreparing for Marriage (for those not Married)Men are Like Waffles, Women are Like SpaghettiThe Power of a Praying Wife...and one more with a purple cover that I cannot think of the title right now...There are also many, many books on dealing with various issues, like trust after a spouse has been unfaithful, and much, much more. But I personally cannot recommend them specifically since I haven't read them.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

I had the extreme privilege to sit under the teaching of Robertson McQuilken while in college. He was the president of the Columbia International University, in Columbia, SC......

My senior year, he resigned. He did this because his wife was ill with Alzheimers. I will never forget his speech to the student body, when he resigned. It still brings tears to my eyes when I read it or listen to it - he is an incredible, Godly man, and this speech set a standard of love between a husband and wife for me - please take a couple minutes and listen to it. (it's just an excerpt - but you get a good sample of who he is.)


YouTube - Robert McQuilken

 

[MissChef]

^^ Thanks Becky, now I'm bawling!:cry: :cry:
I can only pray that my husband would love me 1/2 as much!:love: if, God Forbid, this happened to me.....
What a wonderful man

 

[ChefBeckyD]

^^ Thanks Becky, now I'm bawling!:cry: :cry:
I can only pray that my husband would love me 1/2 as much!:love: if, God Forbid, this happened to me.....
What a wonderful man

He is a personal hero of mine.

 

[raebates]

I had heard his story. That's a wonderful example of a real man.As for our story, The Furry Guy and I have been married for 23 years as of March 30. We met on the 4th of July standing in Hills (think K-Mart wanna be), waiting for the fireworks to start. We married less than 9 months later, the day after he graduated from Marine Corp Boot Camp. During our first 3 years of marriage, we lived together less than a year and a half. The Marine Corp put him to sea for 6 months, then 9 months. We've been through a lot. We weathered those times when we had to grit our teeth and remember that we had made a commitment. (I think it was Ruth Bell Graham who said she never considered divorce, but she thought about murder a few times.) The great thing is that working through those times made our marriage stronger. I am a big believer that you don't just stay married. You work on growing closer to each other and closer to God. I can honestly say that I love that man and have more fun with him than anyone else I've ever met. BTW, I've read most of the books that were mentioned. The Furry Guy isn't a reader, but we talked about the ideas in most of them. To paraphrase some of the prior comments, it's rarely 50/50. There are days that I do 90% of the work in our relationship. There are days that he does 85%. However, we both give 100% to making our home a wonderful place to return to each day.

 

[PamperedDor]

So I am saying Rae is the winner - married 23 WONDERFUL years!!! Who can beat that??

Congrats Rae!

 

[JAE]

Rae-I remember Hills.

 

[erinyourpclady]

DH and I will celebrate 13 years on the 21st! Since DH is a Marine, I would say that a good 50% ,if not more, of our marriage has been spent apart!


Oh and my mom introduces my Dad as her first husband to EVERYONE. They have been married 36 years! It is hysterical to see people react to that one.....

 

[raebates]

Thanks, Doreen. I have a hard time believing we hold the record here, though.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

DH and I will celebrate 13 years on the 21st! Since DH is a Marine, I would say that a good 50% ,if not more, of our marriage has been spent apart!


Oh and my mom introduces my Dad as her first husband to EVERYONE. They have been married 36 years! It is hysterical to see people react to that one.....

The Kat Lady wants to know when I'm going back out on the road.

:cry:

 

[erinyourpclady]

The Kat Lady wants to know when I'm going back out on the road.

:cry:

I know that it is not for everyone ! DH and I make it work because we have to. At some point, though, we will be forced to co-habitate full time!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Tell him I have an opportunity for him. Someone asked The Kat Lady, not long ago, the secret to marital happiness. Without batting an eye, she said, "Separate vacations."After the shock wore off, she explained that both of us have wide and varied interests. While I'm perfectly willing to go spend a week at a Lincoln Highway conference, taking bus tours of the highway or spending three days in Chicago with several thousand crazed women, she's more likely to go to Dallas to be with several thousand crazed women, who all happen to be wearing pink. (I think I get the better end of that deal, don't you?)She's also traveled cross country with me in Sonja, my 1929 Ford. She's not so high on that anymore.So I don't force her to do something she really just doesn't want to do.

 

[raebates]

I do think that's one of the keys. Not separate vacations, necessarily, but allowing your spouse to pursue their hobbies, without forcing them to endure yours.

 

[MissChef]

I do think that's one of the keys. Not separate vacations, necessarily, but allowing your spouse to pursue their hobbies, without forcing them to endure yours.

Once I learned this our relationship became cemented!! And once I quit throwing a fit about him doing other things, he wants to spend more time with me and the kids! LOL! Funny how that turned out!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

I do think that's one of the keys. Not separate vacations, necessarily, but allowing your spouse to pursue their hobbies, without forcing them to endure yours.

Well, I'm shocked that not everyone loves old cars, old bridges and old highways!

 

[erinyourpclady]

Tell him I have an opportunity for him.

Someone asked The Kat Lady, not long ago, the secret to marital happiness. Without batting an eye, she said, "Separate vacations."

After the shock wore off, she explained that both of us have wide and varied interests. While I'm perfectly willing to go spend a week at a Lincoln Highway conference, taking bus tours of the highway or spending three days in Chicago with several thousand crazed women, she's more likely to go to Dallas to be with several thousand crazed women, who all happen to be wearing pink. (I think I get the better end of that deal, don't you?)

She's also traveled cross country with me in Sonja, my 1929 Ford. She's not so high on that anymore.

So I don't force her to do something she really just doesn't want to do.

I'll let him know!!! LOL! We are pretty sure what comes after this....we still have 5-10 years before that step though.........

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Well, I'm shocked that not everyone loves old cars, old bridges and old highways!

LOL - You are describing a perfect vacation for DH and me! We both love history, and historical architecture, and taking the back roads.....



He does have some Car Shows that are his alone though - There are a couple that are all about the Swap Meet - and I DETEST walking through miles of car parts for several days. He goes to those with his car buddies.

I have a Girls Weekend with my oldest, dearest friend every year, and of course, NC with all of my PC buddies.

 

[JAE]

This year I'm going on vacation with my dh. I usually take my two boys to my parents' house down south w/o dh. We fly and my dh doesn't fly. Anyway, dh decided to come with us this year. I'm thinking of everything that won't be the same. I won't be able to read in bed with the light on. I won't be able to watch t.v in bed. I'll feel guilty if I'm off golfing for hours while he isn't because he doesn't like golfing. Etc. etc. I may need another vacation after this one is over. My kids will be happy with their daddy there, though.

 

[JAE]

Just thought I'd bump this for those of you who only come visit on the weekends.

 

[PamperedDor]

Good Job JAE!!!

 

[Kitchen Diva]

bumping cause its such a nicer subject then the bashing on the other thread!!

I always seem to miss the bashing on threads... where are people bashing? Or, I should say where were people bashing?


Bashing isn't fun- unless we want to bash my sister's soon to be ex hubby for sexually abusing his precious 3 1/2 year old daughter!

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Yeah, what's up with that. I didn't sign up either but I also didn't feel it necessary to make a comment that sounded REALLY nasty.

Did I miss something again? Was it the post that said "No Thanks?" as far as signing up?

Sorry- but some days I'm just S L O W !!!!!