Pre-K vs Kindergarten: Considering Holding Back My DD for Social Readiness

[jrstephens]

Russell insists that we are holding Luke back. He's birthday is July 19th, he will be 4, so, he will go to K4 at 5. I do not agree but cannot get him to budge. He is a teacher and is determined that he is right. I have been praying for God to make me agree with him or him to change and agree with me, either way just to get us to agree and it not be a huge debate between us when it is mentioned.

I want to send him to K4 on schedule and see how it goes and hold him back if necessary but Russell wants to hold him back to begin with. Neither one of us has budged on what we want yet!

 

[Bren706]

Thank you Jules711 for starting this thread.

My DS will be 5 in June. His pre-K teacher suggested keeping him in Pre-K next year. He just started with a speech therapist, and the therapist told me there is no need to keep him back. He is definetely ready academics wise. The teacher was concerned about mainly his social readiness, as well.

It is great to get all this feedback from everyone. Thanks again!

 

[Paula R. Lewis]

Russell insists that we are holding Luke back. He's birthday is July 19th, he will be 4, so, he will go to K4 at 5. I do not agree but cannot get him to budge. He is a teacher and is determined that he is right. I have been praying for God to make me agree with him or him to change and agree with me, either way just to get us to agree and it not be a huge debate between us when it is mentioned.

I want to send him to K4 on schedule and see how it goes and hold him back if necessary but Russell wants to hold him back to begin with. Neither one of us has budged on what we want yet!

Well, Jennifer, if it helps any, my David's birthday is July 23rd. I DID want to hold him back (see my earlier post), but we didn't because my husband was so insistent about it. It ended up costing us ALOT of $$, sending him for extra help.
Also, since he's a boy, I had someone tell me once that, since boys will ultimately develop physically later than girls, if you want to have him in sports (like football or wrestling, especially), that the extra year to "grow" will benefit him in high school...Just a thought.

Good luck to you in this!
Paula

 

[jrstephens]

Well, Jennifer, if it helps any, my David's birthday is July 23rd. I DID want to hold him back (see my earlier post), but we didn't because my husband was so insistent about it. It ended up costing us ALOT of $$, sending him for extra help.
Also, since he's a boy, I had someone tell me once that, since boys will ultimately develop physically later than girls, if you want to have him in sports (like football or wrestling, especially), that the extra year to "grow" will benefit him in high school...Just a thought.

Good luck to you in this!
Paula

My husband is a football coach, so, I am sure the size issue is going into his thinking too, ha!

 

[pamperedposey]

I had a similar situation. My daughter went to Pre-K for a year and a half, but missed the cutoff for Kindergarten by ONE day! Her teachers all said that she would not benefit by another year of Pre-K, but the school systems would not budge and wouldn't let her start school. I ended up homeschooling her first year of Kindergarten and then put her into public school (still Kindergarten) the next year. Now she is really a pro! The teacher is constantly commenting at how well she is picking up on everything. It helps that the school is actually using the same curriculum that I used.

 

[khergatt]

I would actually keep her in Pre-K another year.

As an adult that started Kindergarten at 4, I know first hand about the "social" part. I didn't notice a difference in elementary school AT all! If that was all there was, I would say send her to Kindergarten now. HOWEVER, in middle school a little bit and definitely in high school I can look back and see the difference between me and my friends. I was younger. I wasn't ready to do some of the things that they were doing. I would say that roughly 50% of the "fights" I got in with my friends were due to this.

Good luck making your decision!!! It's not easy being a parent.

 

[pamperedlinda]

I think it's different for each child. I went to K when I was 4 and started 1st grade at 5 (my b'day is Sept 30). Of course, that was way back in the 60's when the cut-off date was Dec 31st. Personally speaking I did not have any problems adjusting or learning. I was always the youngest in my class though. I graduated at 17 and started college at 17.

However, today's school system is so much different. It is much faster paced, the classes are larger, the kids are learning in K what I learned in 1st, they are required to do much more for themselves, and they have a LOT of homework (that was unheard of when I was a child).

As parents we don't want anyone telling us how to raise our child or what our child can/can't do. And, we definately don't want them to be left behind. You've been given a lot of advice here. We don't know your child.

Most schools will allow you to observe classroom activities. Why don't you talk to the school where your child is slated to attend and see if you can observe a couple of the K classrooms. Go a couple of times and go at different times each day. Granted we are half-way through the school year now, but you will get a good idea of what they are doing and maybe that will help your decision.

btw, my DS is in K and he did go to pre-K, he is a Feb b'day, he is doing just fine. There are a few other boys in his class who are a little slow, I'll try and see if I can find out when their b'days are and see if this theory holds true for them. My son also has a wonderful teacher who has been teaching for @ 20 years. I'm friends with her so I'll ask her about this and see what her take is. I'll get back with you next week - bump this or pm me if I forget.

 

[lacychef]

Fun to see all the different perspectives! My older dd's b-day is in June, she went to K after she turned 5 & has been doing fantastic. I don't like the 'no child left behind' much either. They are learning things so early, and I see some kids in her class struggling. It's gotta be so hard to be a teacher these days.
Cindy, I'm in the same boat as you with my younger dd. Her b-day is Sept 1 & will turn 5 this year; our school cut-off is Aug 31 & they won't budge either. So she will have her second year of preschool. Here though, most people send their kids to preschool for 2 years. At age 3 they can go 2 days a week, & at age 4 they can go for 3 days a week. She'll learn some different things next year; though both socially & intellectually I think she *would* be ready for K. (but I don't really mind keeping my baby home for one more year ) Plus, here K is all day; so it's a pretty big adjustment from preschool.

Good luck with your decision!

 

[Shawnna]

I need to go back and read the posts again. We are not talking about an early starter right...this child is going to be the "normal" age for Kindergarten but just has a later birthday than the other kids. But, really a summer birthday is not late. It is in the normal range of the cutoff.

My October son waited the extra year to start school and he is bored to death in his classes. The school is doing the best they can for him, but he is BORED!! I started to "test him out" and send him on to Kindergarten early, but decided against it because that would have put him in a class of mostly girls...and they were/are all hateful little brats...so I didn't put him there. There are many times that I wish I would have sent him anyway. He is one of the oldest people in his class and he hears "its easy for you because you're older". He will be nearly 19 when he graduates from high school. Perhaps he will be better able to "handle" the world and yes he might be bigger in size and that will help him with sports, but I think there are negatives there too. When you are 12 in the 6th grade and most everyone else is 11 until late in the spring or summer, it causes problems too.

 

[etteluap70PC]

He's birthday is July 19th,

Hijack!!!

My Sammie's b-day is the same day!

 

[pamperedposey]

Fun to see all the different perspectives! My older dd's b-day is in June, she went to K after she turned 5 & has been doing fantastic. I don't like the 'no child left behind' much either. They are learning things so early, and I see some kids in her class struggling. It's gotta be so hard to be a teacher these days.
Cindy, I'm in the same boat as you with my younger dd. Her b-day is Sept 1 & will turn 5 this year; our school cut-off is Aug 31 & they won't budge either. So she will have her second year of preschool. Here though, most people send their kids to preschool for 2 years. At age 3 they can go 2 days a week, & at age 4 they can go for 3 days a week. She'll learn some different things next year; though both socially & intellectually I think she *would* be ready for K. (but I don't really mind keeping my baby home for one more year ) Plus, here K is all day; so it's a pretty big adjustment from preschool.

Good luck with your decision!

We have Kindergarten full time too. They go from 7:40-2:40. Our county starts way earlier than any of the surrounding counties.

I have noticed in the past month or so that they have been really slamming on the homework. It started with none, then one sheet a couple nights a week. Then something every night. Now we have a list sent home every week that we have to work on nightly, plus a separate sheet every day and sometimes they have a special project like a matching game or bucket of letters, etc. Everynight we have to review her word list and read the book that they are working on that week.

On nights that she has gymnastics we don't get home until 6pm and by the time we have dinner, shower and get on pj's it's time for bed. Then we have to work it in before school the next morning. It's crazy!

 

[chefkristin]

My son started Kindergarten this past September. His birthday was August 2nd. So we are now facing issues with him learning to listen to what he is told. Academically I really think he is ok. He has a problem with transition and also has the energy of a locomotive. He is exhausting. But when we are home just the 2 of us he makes comments and says things to make me believe that he really is getting it. We work with him at home with his letters which is his hardest thing.
At least your teacher is telling you what to do. My son's is saying that it is basically the parents choice whether to keep him back. We are also in the beginning stages of having him tested for ADHD. It is very hard to hold his attention on one thing. I usually end up calling his name 4 or5 times before he says WHAT?? I think you are his mom and know him best but the teachers are with him all day and know better about him "school wise". Good luck, I know EXACTLY what your going through.

 

[jrstephens]

Hijack!!!

My Sammie's b-day is the same day!

Luke will be 4, how old is Sammie?

 

[janetupnorth]

I need to go back and read the posts again. We are not talking about an early starter right...this child is going to be the "normal" age for Kindergarten but just has a later birthday than the other kids. But, really a summer birthday is not late. It is in the normal range of the cutoff.

My October son waited the extra year to start school and he is bored to death in his classes. The school is doing the best they can for him, but he is BORED!! I started to "test him out" and send him on to Kindergarten early, but decided against it because that would have put him in a class of mostly girls...and they were/are all hateful little brats...so I didn't put him there. There are many times that I wish I would have sent him anyway. He is one of the oldest people in his class and he hears "its easy for you because you're older". He will be nearly 19 when he graduates from high school. Perhaps he will be better able to "handle" the world and yes he might be bigger in size and that will help him with sports, but I think there are negatives there too. When you are 12 in the 6th grade and most everyone else is 11 until late in the spring or summer, it causes problems too.

That's what I gathered too! Hence my opinion to send her on to kindergarten. My birthday was July 29th and I went to kindergarten when 5. The only disadvantage was I didn't turn 18 until AFTER H.S. and all the jobs I wanted (to match my skills) weren't available to anyone under 18. Of course, I even though of graduating after 3 years of HS and would have been even younger! I decided to take Calculus and all the advanced sciences in HS while they were still free my senior year. I was able to test out of level 1 Calculus, Chemisty and Physics in college which saved a few bucks.

Girls jump socially faster than boys so if it is February and she is just a little behind socially only, chances are by fall she'll be more than ready!!!!

She would be starting "on time". So why hold her back. If she takes a jump academically holding her back will hurt because you WILL NOT want to skip her ahead later.

If the decision wasn't the best, just repeat kindergarten next year. There was a girl that repeated K this year at my daughter's school without issues. (She started kindergarten at age 4).

Whatever you decide, go with your motherly guts! It will work out.

 

[lkprescott]

I need to go back and read the posts again. We are not talking about an early starter right...this child is going to be the "normal" age for Kindergarten but just has a later birthday than the other kids. But, really a summer birthday is not late. It is in the normal range of the cutoff.

My October son waited the extra year to start school and he is bored to death in his classes. The school is doing the best they can for him, but he is BORED!! I started to "test him out" and send him on to Kindergarten early, but decided against it because that would have put him in a class of mostly girls...and they were/are all hateful little brats...so I didn't put him there. There are many times that I wish I would have sent him anyway. He is one of the oldest people in his class and he hears "its easy for you because you're older". He will be nearly 19 when he graduates from high school. Perhaps he will be better able to "handle" the world and yes he might be bigger in size and that will help him with sports, but I think there are negatives there too. When you are 12 in the 6th grade and most everyone else is 11 until late in the spring or summer, it causes problems too.

That's what I wonder through all this holding back kids to start when they're older now means they'll be close to 19 or even 20 in some instances... what kind of stigma is in that?

One of my son's friends is 13 and in 6th grade... he's a little guy though so it's hard to see but he's got another friend sporting a mustache... in 6th grade! I remember som 18 year olds my senior year, some of them dropped out, they were adults... able to sign for themselves and would rather make money than stay in school... I so fear for that happening more with the holding kids back.

It's interesting to see how the different areas though have different cut offs (ours is age 5 by 9/10 - it used to be January of the following year - I would have been held back a year at this new cutoff) and some folks here have public preschool? Wow... that must be nice. I pay for my daughter to go to preschool daycare twice a week (the 'official' preK program the Y has is only a couple hours a day but she wouldn't have made that age cut off either LOL) and they mesh with the public school but get not just academics but gym and even spanish and computer time.

 

[Jules711]

Yes, she IS going be 5 by the cut off (9/1). She is currently in every day Pre-K (the cutoff was 4 by 9/1 and some exceptions for younger if they needed it). She's there for about 2.5 hours each day and LOVES it. She is friendly and loves to play with the kids. She can sit for hours coloring and painting and plays well with others and by herself. I *think* (since I haven't spoken to her teacher again since this was mentioned Friday) that her issues are participating in new things (like singing or talking). She likes to do it right (she's the same at home singing new songs...then you can't stop her). I need other specifics before I really make my decision, but to me that's personality. Fun, fun! I will keep you updated if you want to know what we decide and how she does. I love the idea of her going to the K class for a day (or 1/2 day) to see what that teacher thinks. Plus, one school already invited me to come back any time to see. In fact, she was invited to attend afternoons in the spring if I want. Maybe that would be an option. I'd have to pay, but probably not much.

 

[MaddyandOwensMom]

I am a former kindergarten teacher and taught half day kindergarten for five years. I live on Long Island in New York State where we now have full day kindergarten and the 1st grade curriculum has been pushed down to kindergarten. I am also the mom to a bright Jan 20th girl who will enter kindergarten at 5 1/5. I also have a DS who turned three on Nov 17th. Our kindergarten cut-off is 12/1, so he potentially will be the youngest in the class. He is also bright, but socially imature and you can bet he will be held back a year even though that is a couple of years off. I don't care if he does know everything academic that he should, he will not be as productive as he could be in kindergarten and will drive the teacher and other kids crazy. I know from way too much experience that social immaturity is HUGE in kindergarten and is probably THE MOST important thing a parent should consider, even if your child knows academics, before deciding whether or not to send a child at a younger age.

First off I think that your daughter will do just fine in kindergarten. I never had an issue with a summer baby who was late August. It tends to be fall babies and more likely boys that have the difficulties. Some work out and some don't so I always tell parents to consider holding a child back and giving them a chance (one of our kindergarten teachers who knew better sent her fall boy to kdg and it has been a disaster for years.) Also, keep in mind that many schools are very big into social promotion and although keeping a child back for an additional year of kindergarten makes sense, some schools have policy against it.

That being said, I respectfully disagree with those who say its not about social and about academic or boredom. Yes, I had my share of kids who were young and had academic difficulties and many did catch up after a couple of years. But I had some really smart kids who just were too socially immature to handle the structure of a classroom. What you see at home is very different from a classroom setting. The problems a young child has when going to kindergaerten too early is almost always social and it is a big disruption to the teacher and other kids as well as the child him or herself. And I do,again, respectfully, disagree with the bordom idea. Kindergarten is not boring place and there is just so much to do. It's more that kids can't handle the structure that is unfortunately necessary to run a classroom. This is not to say that kids can't be bored if they know everything, but I have not seen it at the kindergarten level. I have actually felt that a child who knows many academic things has a great confidence level and can help other kids. They love that! Again, not that I know any of your kids, but in my experience, "boredom" was an excuse for poor behavior. You may know lots of things, but if you can't sit still for 15 minutes and show me, that's social immaturity. I saw boredom more when I taught second grade. It is then up to the teacher to offer more challenging assignments.

Fall is a long way off and you can make a decision at the last minute. It's just my opinion "social readiness" is much more important than academic readiness. If you are not socially ready, you may have a problem dealing with the academics or just simply learning how to be a good classroom citizen. Just my two cents (or $1.50)!
Jessica

 

[etteluap70PC]

Luke will be 4, how old is Sammie?

She will be 7! Ahhhh... time goes by too fast! I am sooo not ready for all the girly drama! LOL.....

Oh well I guess the testosterone from my 3yr old will help counter it.

Ok End Hijack.....

 

[Jules711]

At the school I choose, I'm thinking that they will let her stay for an extra year of K if she needs it. It is a full day, everyday K, but if I don't think she can handle it, I think they'll allow her to just go 1/2 days AND she'll have a smaller class size (probably up to 15?). I think most people talking about boredom (or at least me) are thinking of the later grades. After all...keeping her back this year, effects every year. I don't worry that she's really be bored in pre-K a 2nd year. I just want to be sure she continues to grow.

 

[Shawnna]

Well, I will say that my son has been and still is bored in his classroom. He is not having any poor behavior problems. As a matter of fact his teachers and everyone at school talks about how wonderful he is and what a gentleman he is. (As a matter of fact I am blessed that they say that about all my children. I have never been called to the school for poor behavior and none of my children have ever been discipline problems. It is nice for teachers to come up to you and tell you good things about your children.) He finishes all his work early and then spends the rest of his time reading...which is a good thing. He loves to read books on history. But, he is bored with the level of academic challenge he is receiving. It is better now at the school he is attending, but his previous school was not keeping his brain occupied. As an early childhood teacher I know the difference in bad behavior and boredom. Boredom can at times lead to disruptive behavior, but I have never seen an instance that it was used as an excuse. If the teacher can't keep the students busy they will be disruptive. I am very blessed to have a child who sits quietly and reads. They wouldn't allow him to help other students.

But as I stated earlier, my son is an October baby which puts him almost a year older than his classmates which does not help the boredom issue. He is in the sixth grade and I hope that when he goes to Junior High he will be challenged more. He will have more class options which should help. I will admit that I am not complaining about him getting finished with his work early and reading until class is over. Reading is very important. My middle child struggled with reading for what seemed like forever. It was like one day a light bulb came on in her head and she "got it". From then on she has no trouble with reading and reads everything she gets her hands on. She is a March baby and even though she didn't learn to read until the end of 1st grade I would never have considered holding her back. With her personality it would have crushed her spirit. She does okay in school except for Algebra which is a daily struggle.

So, every child is different and every parent has to look at both sides of the issue. But my opinion is still to send her to Kindergarten if she is in the age cutoff range.

 

[wadesgirl]

My sister and I got into this discussion over the weekend. Her DD is having problems in school. The teacher appears to be very emotional and tell her DD that she feels like DD is mad at her when ever she doesn't listen. It was a big long envolved parent teacher conference! Kids aren't cookie cutter, you cannot fit them into one certain mold. Certain kids are quieter, more talkative, more outgoing, better spellers, not good in math, etc. Just because your daughter isn't sociable right now doesn't mean that she will be in K. Maybe hanging out with kids all day will help her come out of her shell. And if not, then that is just the person your daughter is. I wouldn't hold her back academically just because of this.

 

[Shawnna]

I was looking through boxes of my "memories" that my mom saved for me. My Kindergarten, 1st, and 2nd grade report cards all had the "needs improvement" mark in the area of socializing with the other kids. I changed schools for 3rd -12th grade and didn't have those marks anymore. I asked my daddy...who was an elementary school teacher...and he said "You didn't socialize. You didn't want to play. You just wanted to read all the time and that is how you spent your recesses". He was in college when I was in HeadStart and he taught me to read before I went to Kindergarten. I guess he used me for his practice teaching...LOL Like I posted earlier, I was the youngest in my class...in most cases nearly a year younger...and i was Valedictorian of my Jr. High and Senior graduating class.

You have received lots of opinions and different perspectives. I know you will make the best decision for your child. It is interesting to see the different cut-off dates. For some reason I assumed it was a Nation-wide date, but maybe it is a state-wide date. In my area it is September 1st. When I went to school it was November 1st.

While we are on the school subject, I heard that there is a plan in the works...well it is being pushed in Washington...that they are trying to fix it where every country's children will receive the same everything. That the UN will tell us where to send our children to school, who can go to school, what we can and cannot do with our children. I was told that there are only 2 countries who haven't signed this...the United States is one and I can't remember the other. Have any of you heard this? A preacher told my husband and I this last night at dinner. He said he saw it on TV. I find this very objectionable. I don't want the UN telling me anything...especially about how to raise my children. I personally think we have too much government involvement in the raising of our children now.

Okay, sorry to hijack...just curious if anyone else had heard this.

 

[janetupnorth]

I was looking through boxes of my "memories" that my mom saved for me. My Kindergarten, 1st, and 2nd grade report cards all had the "needs improvement" mark in the area of socializing with the other kids. I changed schools for 3rd -12th grade and didn't have those marks anymore. I asked my daddy...who was an elementary school teacher...and he said "You didn't socialize. You didn't want to play. You just wanted to read all the time and that is how you spent your recesses". He was in college when I was in HeadStart and he taught me to read before I went to Kindergarten. I guess he used me for his practice teaching...LOL Like I posted earlier, I was the youngest in my class...in most cases nearly a year younger...and i was Valedictorian of my Jr. High and Senior graduating class.

You have received lots of opinions and different perspectives. I know you will make the best decision for your child. It is interesting to see the different cut-off dates. For some reason I assumed it was a Nation-wide date, but maybe it is a state-wide date. In my area it is September 1st. When I went to school it was November 1st.

While we are on the school subject, I heard that there is a plan in the works...well it is being pushed in Washington...that they are trying to fix it where every country's children will receive the same everything. That the UN will tell us where to send our children to school, who can go to school, what we can and cannot do with our children. I was told that there are only 2 countries who haven't signed this...the United States is one and I can't remember the other. Have any of you heard this? A preacher told my husband and I this last night at dinner. He said he saw it on TV. I find this very objectionable. I don't want the UN telling me anything...especially about how to raise my children. I personally think we have too much government involvement in the raising of our children now.

Okay, sorry to hijack...just curious if anyone else had heard this.

Haven't heard that but do not want a worthless piece of crap organization like the UN telling me how to raise my kids!

 

[dianevill]

Janet, I'm not really clear on your opinion. Can you expand on that please?

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Janet, I'm not really clear on your opinion. Can you expand on that please?

LOL - I just read Janet's post - and was going to post the same thing!




For what it's worth - I totally agree, Janet!

 

[janetupnorth]

:blushing: Yeah, I don't verbalize my politics too much, but in the case of the UN...grrr...I find it totally worthless!

 

[janetupnorth]

Couldn't find much, but this article is interesting...http://stoplying.ca/news/08/jan/012908_the_United_Nations_is_coming_for_your_children.phpETA: Don't know anything about this website other than finding this article...

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Couldn't find much, but this article is interesting...

http://stoplying.ca/news/08/jan/012908_the_United_Nations_is_coming_for_your_children.php

hmmm, it wouldn't let me go there. I tried to click on the link, and then tried to cut and paste it into my browser.......

 

[janetupnorth]

hmmm, it wouldn't let me go there. I tried to click on the link, and then tried to cut and paste it into my browser.......

Odd...worked for me again...

"http://stoplying.ca/news/08/jan/012908_the_United_Nations_is_coming_for_your_children.php"

I'll put it in quotes so hopefully you can hi-light it...

 

[janetupnorth]

It seems very "anti-government" and I probably don't agree with half their stuff, but doesn't hurt to read up on the topic from various perspectives.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

This is what I keep getting -


Not Found
The requested URL /news/08/jan/012908_the_United_Nations_is_coming_for_your_child ren.php was not found on this server.

Additionally, a 404 Not Found error was encountered while trying to use an ErrorDocument to handle the request.

 

[janetupnorth]

Google the phrase...UN is coming for your kids...and go from there.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Just did - and I did find this.......actually, I remember now hearing about this a few years back - when you read it, it's frightening.....


Convention on the Rights of the Child - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[AnnieBee]

Or she thinks it okay to "be silly" (a term she uses whenever she isn't doing what you want). She's not bad or anything. She just gets distracted when they are eating. She kind of likes just watching the interactions of the other kids (some not so good ).

I am in the same boat, except that my DD will be going early (if she test's OK - we are applying for early entrance). Our cut off is Sept 30, and she won't be 5 until Nov 28. She started pre-school in Sept (she was three) and in Oct we had her moved up a year, with the schools agreement. We just had our parent/teacher conference. My DD has the best hand-writing in the class (writes whole name with upper and lower case letters, some of the kids can't write their names yet), is reading 3-5 letter words, counts to 100 etc etc - her academics are great. Socially, she does well in most areas except for self control... The teacher says that if a little boy reaches out to tickle during story time, then she responds and tickles back, and gets a bit silly. She is definitely influenced by her peers in that regard. I have volunteered in the classroom, and see other kids who will not be ready to go to K in the fall, soc. or academically, but can because they have the "right" birthday. I feel that if she stays in Pre-school, she will be bored (they are working on learning letters and numbers - she could do all of this before she started that class) and that if she was alround older kids, she would be positively influenced by their behaviour (I have seen this). On the other hand, I wouldn't want her to be the younger kid in K who disrupts things and/or negatively influences the other kids with her "silly" behaviour. On the other hand, if all of the kids in her current class go to K, she won't be the problem!

Aargh! What to do... I think she would love K and thrive there, if she passes the early entrance test. The other option is to find a pre-school with a class for 5 year olds who have been held back, but even then I think she will be academically ahead.

So, all of you teachers out there, any advice for me!?

And finally, for Jules, the "report" we got for Abbie broke down her Social/Emotional development into the following categories:

Interactions, Communication, Self-Control, Self Confidence (all with sub-headings too).

The kids were graded Beginning, Developing or Secure for each category. If you haven't had such detailed feed-back, you could ask for that.

If you're interested I could give you the info for the other areas (Work Habits, Physical Development, Intellectual Development) too (email or PM). I found it very helpful to get this feedback on Abbie.

IMO, it sounds as though your daughter would do well in K. Her behaviour socially doesn't seem to me that it would be a problem. I would lean towards starting her, and like you said you can always move her back or repeat it. September is a long way off - kids change so much in 6 months! You could always use the Summer to expose her to some new things and see how she handles it (eg VBS, a sports camp...). I do agree that social readiness is a big deal for starting K. Here in Ohio, as other people have said, they are doing so much more in K. The classroom is VERY structured and very much "desk" time oriented, no crafts or art (only colouring pages!). Which does seem a little sad - these kids are only five!! :yuck:

Anyway, HTH! I have so many of the same feelings as you...

 

[wickednoodle]

I also have a daughter whose birthday is 8/28. She is only 3 right now, but I've already been thinking about this issue as it will be here before I know it. I'm an October girl, and I feel that I could have benefited a great deal from having one more year to mature; having said that, everyone is different. You know your daughter best, so go with your gut and what you feel is best. One thing to think about is that it will be much easier on her - in terms of her peers and any possible ridicule - now than it would be in a few years when she will understand better that she's repeating a year.

Hope that helps - good luck and let us know what you decide!

 

[janetupnorth]

I just had discussions with my daughter's 1st grade teacher yesterday. DD is top in her class and a May birthday and no worries.I've ALWAYS been on the side of "let them play one more year and be kids".Now though, I'm seeing the curriculum SO moved down. K is full day vs. 1/2, 1st grade material is in K, 2nd in 1st grade on up. Mainly due to the fact that EVERYONE seems to be putting their kids in Preschool or Pre-K.I didn't want either kid to go to preschool - didn't think they needed it but now I have a 4 year old who still has a full year before K (he has a Dec. birthday so will be 5 years and 8 months starting kindergarten). He REALLY wants to go to school and is already learning a lot at home.I'm toying with the idea of sending him 2 days a week 8-11 a.m. just due to that fact that HE keeps begging and wants to go. I think he'll go nuts waiting another year with sister in school...Sigh...decisions, decisions. Of course I KNOW I won't send him 5 days...that part of the decision is easy. (Cost-wise and transportation-wise).

 

[ChefBeckyD]

I just had discussions with my daughter's 1st grade teacher yesterday. DD is top in her class and a May birthday and no worries.

I've ALWAYS been on the side of "let them play one more year and be kids".

Now though, I'm seeing the curriculum SO moved down. K is full day vs. 1/2, 1st grade material is in K, 2nd in 1st grade on up. Mainly due to the fact that EVERYONE seems to be putting their kids in Preschool or Pre-K.

I didn't want either kid to go to preschool - didn't think they needed it but now I have a 4 year old who still has a full year before K (he has a Dec. birthday so will be 5 years and 8 months starting kindergarten). He REALLY wants to go to school and is already learning a lot at home.

I'm toying with the idea of sending him 2 days a week 8-11 a.m. just due to that fact that HE keeps begging and wants to go. I think he'll go nuts waiting another year with sister in school...

Sigh...decisions, decisions. Of course I KNOW I won't send him 5 days...that part of the decision is easy. (Cost-wise and transportation-wise).

DS goes 2 days a week, 12:30-3. He was also begging to go to school. Every time we would pass a school, he would say "There's a school Mom, just drop me off." He is in 3 yr old preschool. Next yr, he will be in 4 yr old preschool, but we have a choice between a 2,3, or 4 day program. We are leaning heavily towards staying with the 2 day program.

Part of our decision to send him though, was that he is an only child, and we felt like he did need some socialization.

 

[JAE]

DS goes 2 days a week, 12:30-3. He was also begging to go to school. Every time we would pass a school, he would say "There's a school Mom, just drop me off." He is in 3 yr old preschool. Next yr, he will be in 4 yr old preschool, but we have a choice between a 2,3, or 4 day program. We are leaning heavily towards staying with the 2 day program.

Part of our decision to send him though, was that he is an only child, and we felt like he did need some socialization.

...just drop me off? What a silly boy! Say "hi" to him for me.

 

[Shawnna]

My youngest is going to Jr. High next year, but I have a friend who has a daughter in Kindergarten this year. She told me the other night that they are putting glass partitions and doors in the entryway of the lower elementary building so that you can't get in without the administrator...so I am assuming these will be locked doors inside the building which scares me because of fire issues. But she also told me that next year you would not be allowed to go inside with your child. You will have to drop them off at the curb. For one thing, there is a small parking lot that you circle through...one way...and back onto the street. Traffic is already crazy there. I believe that you should always check in with the administrator when arriving at school, but I also believe that you should be able to observe from outside what your child's teacher is doing...the administrator can walk you to the classroom and not announce you before-hand. I do not believe in disrupting the class, but there are times when you might want to make a "surprise" visit to see how things work. An announced visit will not get you the same results. While most teachers are great, I know that some people should not teach children and some teachers who were wonderful at one time, need to retire because they have lost that true "calling". It is really sad when teachers don't even like children.

Janet, thanks for the site...I am going to check it out now.


ETA: I do want to say that I appreciate our teachers. I firmly believe that they are under-paid for what they do...they are training the future leaders of our nation. While we all know that there are some bad teachers out there, when you get one of the good ones your child is so blessed. Teachers have a lot on their plate, classrooms are over-crowded and they do not have enough classroom help for all of the extra stuff our government is putting on them. Be sure that you are praying for your child's teachers every day.

 

[janetupnorth]

My daughter goes to a private Lutheran school. I take her in the school and up to the classroom each day. In fact, they ENCOURAGE it so they can communicate with the parents. The preschool there which DS may attend next year REQUIRES that you drop your child off in the classroom.I hope the rights of private schools like this don't decrease...During the day, they do lock the doors and you have to ring and have someone open the door - that is for security purposes so not anyone walks into the school. I don't mind that because I don't want a stranger walking in mid-day where my DD is...

 

[ChefBeckyD]

My daughter goes to a private Lutheran school. I take her in the school and up to the classroom each day. In fact, they ENCOURAGE it so they can communicate with the parents. The preschool there which DS may attend next year REQUIRES that you drop your child off in the classroom.I hope the rights of private schools like this don't decrease...During the day, they do lock the doors and you have to ring and have someone open the door - that is for security purposes so not anyone walks into the school. I don't mind that because I don't want a stranger walking in mid-day where my DD is...

DS's preschool is the same way. (and it's a public school) The only door that you can get into during the day is by the office - where you have to check in before you can go any further. All other doors are locked, and you have to ring a bell - and there is a security camera - if you are recognized, they will buzz you in - if not, you are asked to come to the door by the office and check in. I also have to drop DS off and pick him up from his class. Plus we have to sign in and out. I had to provide a list of 2-3 other people who would be authorized to pick him up, and they have to present I.D. if they pick him up instead of me or DH.I think some of this is because of stranger danger, but I know from many of the questions on the form I had to fill out that much of the security is to protect from non-custodial parents coming and taking children from school.
Kids may not go with a stranger - but they would go with a parent.

 

[lkprescott]

DS's preschool is the same way. (and it's a public school) The only door that you can get into during the day is by the office - where you have to check in before you can go any further. All other doors are locked, and you have to ring a bell - and there is a security camera - if you are recognized, they will buzz you in - if not, you are asked to come to the door by the office and check in. I also have to drop DS off and pick him up from his class. Plus we have to sign in and out. I had to provide a list of 2-3 other people who would be authorized to pick him up, and they have to present I.D. if they pick him up instead of me or DH.

I think some of this is because of stranger danger, but I know from many of the questions on the form I had to fill out that much of the security is to protect from non-custodial parents coming and taking children from school.
Kids may not go with a stranger - but they would go with a parent.

Yup.. our elementary school has locked doors now and a buzzer system with a camera. The secretary knows me otherwise there's a speaker that booms out "yes?" so you state your purpose. Everyone has to sign in though... even if you volunteer. Unless you go to a after school meeting everyone must sign in which is a big PITA on party days. LOL..

DD's school has a front desk where you are buzzed through a locked door by an attendant at the desk. Wasn't always like that but times are a changing. Both schools have a list of who is allowed to pick up the kids and you have to provide ID if they don't know you. Most of it is keeping the kids safe from anyone, known or not.. plus with all the school incidents that keep getting reported, they have to do what they can to minimize their liability too. Even the high school's locked down which I don't know how they change classes now... we used to sneak out and cut through the parking lots (our high school is HUGE and getting from one end to the other in your alloted time was always a challenge - made larger as they expanded the school after I graduated).. but last time we stopped in for something we had to buzz in.. unless there's a game or show... then the high school is wiiiide open... kinda weird.

When DD was littler and didn't have the patience to sit for half an hour til a concert started, we'd wander the halls and I'd see where I could remember and where the new part started and ended... they rearranged that school so much I can't even find my old locker.

 

[Chef Michelle D]

I do think some children are ready for school before others. I have a friend that's ds is in the 3rd grade with mine. When they were in kind. togher he would have benefited from another year at home. His birthday is in the middle of Aug. so he was just 5 when school started and he was a mess for a long time. It took him half way through 1st grade to really come into his own. His problem was mostly social but a little accidemically too. You will do what's best for your child.

Our school also had all the doors locked during the day and you have to be buzzed in and check in at the office. We are not allowed to just "drop in" on the classrooms. It's not fair to the teachers and the children for the parents to be coming by to check what is going on. I do agree there are some people who should not be teachers but that is for the principle to decide. If I am not happy with what my child says about his teacher or about some work that comes home then I would be at the office talking about it. But it's not up to me to monitor the classroom and see what is going on. Again that is up to the principle.

 

[Shawnna]

I feel that it is our job to "monitor" what is going on in our children's classrooms. When there is a problem some people can "pull the wool over" even the administrator's eyes. I have actually seen it happen. I do not condone barging into the classroom, but I do believe you and the principal can go to the classroom unanounced. You should always go through the proper channels...the teacher, the principle, the school board, etc. Sometimes people abuse their athourity over children for years before anyone above them finds out. If there seems to be a real problem you don't want to wait until a child is hurt before someone takes action.

Again, I am not saying that we should constantly be disrupting a classroom, but I feel that I should be able to see my child's teacher in her normal routine. If she knows you are coming her routine will not be normal.

 

[tvwalsh72]

As a teacher, I completely disagree with parents dropping in on class. After Oct 1 I do not allow parents to walk their children down to the room. I'm not trying to keep them out, I'm trying to make children more independant. In the past I've had moms come down, everyday, undress their children, take out their pencils, help them get their work started etc. . . Then the parent would stick around and want to chat with me. The PTA actually paid to make the school like fort knots. They are the ones that wanted more security so we could get our jobs done.

I'm getting paid to teach children from 8:15 - 2:45 and it makes hard with disruptions. Children have a hard enough time focusing on tasks now a days. I am more than happy to bend over backward for parents at any time, even during my breaks.

As a parent, we are required to walk our pre-schoolers into school. I walk DD into school. She is responsible for undressing, washing her hands (required) etc. . . We say our goodbyes and that is it. I will not be able to drop her at K next year, we live in a different school district. I want her to have the confidence to be able to walk into school and know what to do.

Just my perspective from both sides,

Tricia

 

[paigetucker]

I'm a former kindergarten teacher and if she is doing well academically do not hold her back! She will be fine. Young Girls also adjust a lot better then young boys from my experience as a teacher. But either way send her on!

 

[Shawnna]

Some parents have more problems than the kids do when it comes time to start school...LOL I know parents who do their child's homework. I have seen the parent who lingers while their child cries and clings to them. Generally when you walk away your child calms down and goes about their business. They have to put up a fuss...mom might let them go back home if they fuss enough. It is aweful to have to peel a child out of their parents' arms, but after a few days of it, they realize mom is coming back and they like school.

My point on being able to see a teacher (unanounced) in action is that if there is a problem that isn't being addressed by the school...and it happens sometimes...a parent should be able to walk with the administration to the room and stand outside to see what is going on in the classroom. Sometimes they will see the problem is the student and sometimes they will be able to see what is going on with the teacher. I have seen teachers threaten students physically, I have seen teachers who read the paper and let the students do whatever they want...and then expect the students to have their homework finished correctly the next day without being instructed. I have seen teachers grab students by the arm and shake them and even swat their behind with their hand. My daughter spent most of the 4th grade watching movies...that I wouldn't let her watch at home. As a parent we have to let the school do their job, but we have to make sure that they are doing it. These types of things happen in schools all the time, but rarely when administration or parents are there to see it. This is part of the reason we have No Child Left Behind, and while a big part of it is not good, a lot of it is...and it is a start. So many schools are far behind where they need to be in the education process. We have to stay involved and make sure our children are getting everything they need to function as adults. As a child of an educator and as an early childhood professional I have looked at this from all sides. WE HAVE TO STAY INVOLVED...even if it means surprise visits to the school and classroom. Teachers need to make parents feel welcome in their classroom at all times and parents need to be supportive of their child's teachers. We have to be accountable for our part of our child's education and we have to demand that our schools are held accountable for their part.