ChefBeckyD
Gold Member
- 20,376
There seem to be so many prayer request for tragic situations right now, and I debated whether to share this, but so many of you know the deal with my Mom, and have been praying and supporting me...I felt like I needed to share what has been happening.
Today, this site has been a God-send. When I haven't been joking and posting on here, I have been a mess - in tears, and sometimes sobbing. This is the hardest thing I've ever gone through, and I am having a difficult time processing and dealing with what to do.
(For those of you who don't know, My mom has Alzheimer's which is progressing at a very rapid rate.)
Today, I spent the morning on the phone with the Social Worker, and Home Care Nurse. My mom has been living w/ my brother and SIL, but my brother left for the Army just before Christmas. At that time, I really protested SIL being the one to care for my Mom. My older brother was supposed to come for Christmas, and he was going to take mom to live with his family, but because of the horrible weather, and his very short leave time (He is a Marine) that opportunity fell through. His next window of opportunity won't come until June or July.
Things have been rapidly deteriorating w/ my SIL. She resents me, because I didn't feel she could handle taking care of mom (She can't) She leaves mom alone for sometimes the whole day, and often, leaves her 2 boys (from a previous marriage) in the care of my mom while she is gone. That's like the blind leading the blind. My mom can't care for herself, let alone be responsible for anyone else! So, SIL has been purposely giving me wrong info, and not giving me info I need to help with mom's care. (like wrong phone #'s for the social worker, wrong dates for home care visits, etc...)
So - this morning, I was finally able to catch the social worker, and the home care nurse while they were with Mom. Basically, they've said that she is in danger staying where she is, and her Dr. had started the placement process for her to enter a nursing home. They must do this, or by law they will be required to report the situation to Adult Protective Services. IT breaks my heart to even type that - to think that my mom is in that situation. I try to be there as much as possible, but it's a good 45 minute drive to her house, and with my other responsibilities, I haven't been able to make it there every day, and then with us all being sick, I wasn't there for almost 3 weeks. I do talk to her several times a day.
So, I've been trying to find a nursing home in this area, but the ones where I would feel comfortable with my Mom's care - there is a 1-2 YEAR wait for a room in the Alzheimer's units. There is an opening in a Nursing Home on the other side of the State - in the town where my Aunt Judie lives (my mom's sister) and that is where they are wanting to place her.
I am having such a hard time letting my Mom go. She is my Mom. what more can I say. We've never had a difficult Mother/Daughter relationship. She has always been my biggest cheerleader and encourager - and I've always felt unconditionally loved and accepted by her. I am grieving right now, and my heart feels like it's being wrenched in about 10 different directions at once. Sometimes the pain is so intense.
Please pray that God will give me some peace, and that I will have the wisdom to make the right decisions, and the grace to be a peacemaker with my SIL, and that somehow, we will be able to make it through the next couple of weeks.
Just pray. And thanks for being my sounding board.
Today, this site has been a God-send. When I haven't been joking and posting on here, I have been a mess - in tears, and sometimes sobbing. This is the hardest thing I've ever gone through, and I am having a difficult time processing and dealing with what to do.
(For those of you who don't know, My mom has Alzheimer's which is progressing at a very rapid rate.)
Today, I spent the morning on the phone with the Social Worker, and Home Care Nurse. My mom has been living w/ my brother and SIL, but my brother left for the Army just before Christmas. At that time, I really protested SIL being the one to care for my Mom. My older brother was supposed to come for Christmas, and he was going to take mom to live with his family, but because of the horrible weather, and his very short leave time (He is a Marine) that opportunity fell through. His next window of opportunity won't come until June or July.
Things have been rapidly deteriorating w/ my SIL. She resents me, because I didn't feel she could handle taking care of mom (She can't) She leaves mom alone for sometimes the whole day, and often, leaves her 2 boys (from a previous marriage) in the care of my mom while she is gone. That's like the blind leading the blind. My mom can't care for herself, let alone be responsible for anyone else! So, SIL has been purposely giving me wrong info, and not giving me info I need to help with mom's care. (like wrong phone #'s for the social worker, wrong dates for home care visits, etc...)
So - this morning, I was finally able to catch the social worker, and the home care nurse while they were with Mom. Basically, they've said that she is in danger staying where she is, and her Dr. had started the placement process for her to enter a nursing home. They must do this, or by law they will be required to report the situation to Adult Protective Services. IT breaks my heart to even type that - to think that my mom is in that situation. I try to be there as much as possible, but it's a good 45 minute drive to her house, and with my other responsibilities, I haven't been able to make it there every day, and then with us all being sick, I wasn't there for almost 3 weeks. I do talk to her several times a day.
So, I've been trying to find a nursing home in this area, but the ones where I would feel comfortable with my Mom's care - there is a 1-2 YEAR wait for a room in the Alzheimer's units. There is an opening in a Nursing Home on the other side of the State - in the town where my Aunt Judie lives (my mom's sister) and that is where they are wanting to place her.
I am having such a hard time letting my Mom go. She is my Mom. what more can I say. We've never had a difficult Mother/Daughter relationship. She has always been my biggest cheerleader and encourager - and I've always felt unconditionally loved and accepted by her. I am grieving right now, and my heart feels like it's being wrenched in about 10 different directions at once. Sometimes the pain is so intense.
Please pray that God will give me some peace, and that I will have the wisdom to make the right decisions, and the grace to be a peacemaker with my SIL, and that somehow, we will be able to make it through the next couple of weeks.
Just pray. And thanks for being my sounding board.