Lost My Job After 5 Weeks: Coping with Unemployment and Personal Struggles

[ragschef]

I have been at my first job in 5 years for 5 weeks. They called me at 5:05 pm to let me know that I was not a good fit. I was quite blindsided by the whole thing and really needed this job. I liked everyone I was working with and was very excited to be a part of a new adventure with the company and this was a total shock!! Now back to the drawing board and on the search again. On top of it all, I'm going to have to give up PC by the end of the year. I'm already depressed and I think all of this pretty much added a downward spiral effect to my entire life. I really need your prayers. My family needs your prayers. My mom isnt doing well and my own body is shutting down. My daughter is 4 yo and is experiencing stress already and anxiety. I just have so much going on that I just needed to get a little off my chest.

Thanks for listening.

 

[jesusluvsu2005]

Amanda,
I'm so sorry. *hugs* I just said a prayer for you. I know things will get better. Try to have a positive outlook. I know it's hard but see the Lord and He will guide you.
God bless,
Amanda

 

[kathijenkins]

HUGS!!!
I am so sorry to hear about your job & the other problems you have going on right now. Sending you LOTS of good wishes & prayers upstairs for you!

 

[janetupnorth]

Don't know what is in the future for you, but praying that you have some answers soon and don't get too stressed! Remember as with each season of life, this too will pass!

 

[jbachen]

You are in my thoughts, as well. I hope things get better soon.

 

[pampermejolene]

You and all of yours are in my prayers. Hang in there. Somehow, maybe this is for the best. You never know what you might get offered or find now.
Until you find new employment try spending 40 hours a week on job hunting and your PC biz.Hopefully you'll be making some money and find a new position soon!!

 

[Bren706]

(((HUGS))) Amanda, you will be in my thoughts and prayers. I hope things get better for you real soon.

 

[wadesgirl]

So sorry to hear this! Keep your head up high! Things happen for a reason, you just sometimes don't know why. We are here for you.

 

[BethCooks4U]

{{{{hugs}}}}

Amanda, you and your family are in my prayers too.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Sorry- a little LONG, but I think it will encourage you!

I have been at my first job in 5 years for 5 weeks. They called me at 5:05 pm to let me know that I was not a good fit. I was quite blindsided by the whole thing and really needed this job. I liked everyone I was working with and was very excited to be a part of a new adventure with the company and this was a total shock!! Now back to the drawing board and on the search again. On top of it all, I'm going to have to give up PC by the end of the year. I'm already depressed and I think all of this pretty much added a downward spiral effect to my entire life. I really need your prayers. My family needs your prayers. My mom isnt doing well and my own body is shutting down. My daughter is 4 yo and is experiencing stress already and anxiety. I just have so much going on that I just needed to get a little off my chest.

Thanks for listening.

Amanda,

I am so sorry to hear this happened to you. A similar thing happened to me back in early March, except my company TOLD me to take a 2 week leave to take care of a family crisis, and fired me by email a few days after I was supposed to go back. I didn't start the day I was supposed to go back because my immediate supervisor was fired when I was on leave, and her replacement never returned my multiple messages, so I wasn't sure when I was actually going to be allowed to come back/start up again- I had a date, but they obviously had other plans.

I too, was blindsided by their decision, and the decision was made by someone that had NEVER even met me. I was told every day how much I was loved and that they were so amazed at how with virtually no training, I had taken the reigns, and was doing an amazing job. I was crushed!

To add to it all, my husband lost his job a week later- we had a family crisis going on in our home, due to my sister and her daughter having to come live with us as my sister found out her husband was sexually abusing their 3 year old daughter, and then my husband's mother slipped into a coma, and they were giving her like 48 hours to live, so after 14 months of employment my husband went in to ask for 2 weeks off, and they denied him, and told him if he took time off they'd fire him.

The long and short of it is this- God does have a plan for you, and it is a plan for you to prosper and not harm you. Jesus came that you might have life and have it more abundantly.

The fact that your little 4 year old is experiencing an adult level of stress in a mind that can't comprehend that amount or type with no way to deal with it, or express what she is truly feeling is a really good excuse for you to reach out to a local church if you don't already have one, and see if you can find an additional support group, other than us, to get some things off your chest and experience healing and get out of the pit of despondancy (sp?) that you feel you are in.

I only suggest reaching out to a local church for support because it is something that is working for my sister. Play therapy is working for my niece so she can process what her father did to her, etc. My sister has no income so the place that her daughter has to go for therapy made her fill out a financial assistance form, and they only charge her $5.00 per visit where they normally charge $150.00 per visit.

And, the support group that they set my sister up with at a local church (not at the church she is currently going to mind you) the support group is free- if you want to come earlier, they do have Dinner for $3.00. Some pulic therapy offices know of local churches that offer support groups, it might do some good to check one out. (my sister and niece came to live with us back in early February)

On a personal level, if this will help, I will share something that again is very personal, but it shows that with prayer and faith and believing that I will get the end result I'm praying for works...it just may take longer than you hoped, but the key is to not lose hope... My husband came from an abused family. After his father died, when he was just 10- his mother started to abuse him and his brother. There were 7 kids in all at the time, but my DH and BIL got the worst of it- the girls got the verbal, emotional, mental and sexual abuse, and DH and BIL just got the crap beat out of them so many times that at 13 years of age, my DH brother ran away and didn't come back- he stayed with friends, and sometimes was homeless, just to get away.

Okay, so about 4 years ago, DH found out that his sisters were sexually abused by their mom- it seems that it had been suppressed, but finally surfaced- it all but DESTROYED him- shortly before that, after 23+ years in the Air Force, with medals up the wazoo- my husbands new commander after knowing him for 1 month fired him from his position as 3rd in command of an entire squadron, with no reason at all, and forced him to take a position with Airman that ranked so far below him it was devistating, and humiliating.

My husband fought it legally through the Air Force with the help of his former commander, but dishonesty, and people with better connections won out. So my husband was forced to retire 3 years before planned, and was not allowed to sew on his newly obtained rank as Senior Master Sergeant- and when they denied him his promotion- he lost out on thousands of dollars of retirement pay... no doubt bitterness and resentment, anger and hatred crept in- then finding out that your mom was even MORE evil than you ever dreamed, and the shame and bitterness, and hatred consumed him.

The long and short of it is this...

So over the past 4 years he has become increasingly difficult to live with. He had gotten mentally and emotionally abusive. He took advantage of my loving nature, and of the fact that in his entire life, I was the only person that had stuck it out with him through thick and thin and still loved him. He tested the love the God calls us to walk in (in I Corinthians 13:4-8) and I turned the other cheek time after time, and followed what the bible said about love, and PRAYED my butt off for FOUR long years. The pain he caused me out of the pain he was experiencing finally came to a head last night when my sister went off on him for treating me like crap.

They argued for about 45 minutes, and finally my husband came into our bedroom, where I had been crying and lying flat on my face (on the floor mind you) before Jesus in prayer- it took over 4 hours but DH had his breakthrough and God broke him last night and I believe he was delivered fully from his oppression from hatred, anger, etc- and we finally made headway.

I was just telling God yesterday and the day before that I couldn't take anymore- that if this marriage was going to be the kind of marriage that I knew God wanted it to be- that I was going to need him to change me-or show me some sign of promise in my DH so that I didn't walk out on him until he improved...

I thought all hope was lost last night when he and my sister went at it, but she stood her ground, she stayed focused, and God had the victory, and my DH and I are well on our way to recovering together the pain and misery we went through (yes, mostly because of him) for the past 4 years.

I'm not saying you will have to wait 4 years for your victory, but my point is this- while many people told me my DH was abusive (NOT PHYSICALLY by the way) and He didn't deserve me, and I was enabling him, and that I should leave him- I stuck it out and obeyed what the bible said about TRUE Agape Love....and my prayers and my love and my sister pointing a few things out that although I had mentioned before- had fallen on deaf ears until last night, and won my husband back!

So- I don't know if you believe in God, or go to church or what- but want to share with you that He will never fail you, and my prayer is that you will find refuge in His strength and His love for you over the next few days, and you will experience His peace that passes all understanding and you will be victorious over this situation.

Blessings to you- and prayers are being said for your family, your little daughter, you and I'm already prasing God for that new job He is finding you!

 

[AnnieBee]

First, I need to say to Amanda, that I am so sorry to hear your news, and I will pray for you to find a new job that will be a great fit. And remember, God does have a plan for us, we just don't always know what it is.

Kacey, first of all, wow! You have endured so much, and I am so thankful to hear of your breakthrough last night with DH. I guess that may be one reason God has had your sister come to live with you...

Wish I could write more, but DD is needing attention. Hope you have a WONDERFUL day.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

First, I need to say to Amanda, that I am so sorry to hear your news, and I will pray for you to find a new job that will be a great fit. And remember, God does have a plan for us, we just don't always know what it is.

Kacey, first of all, wow! You have endured so much, and I am so thankful to hear of your breakthrough last night with DH. I guess that may be one reason God has had your sister come to live with you...

Wish I could write more, but DD is needing attention. Hope you have a WONDERFUL day.

I think I wrote enough for both of us, don't you? LOL!!!!!

 

[vwpamperedchef]

Amanda --- so sorry you are going thru this!! Sending you prayers and hugs!!

Kacey---you're the little engine that could---you are amazing with your strength and endurance!! ((hugs))

 

[cmdtrgd]

Sorry for your troubles...Why do you have to quit PC at the end of the year?

 

[ragschef]

Sorry for your troubles...Why do you have to quit PC at the end of the year?

I'm giving it up because with the financial strain that the 5 years of being home with Madelyn has caused (not that I regret one minute), we're in so much debt that we can't see the light of day. Our marriage has had its ups and downs and my as I said before, my daughter is feeling the stress and I think that PC is monopolizing too much of my time with her and my family and at the same time, is NOT making me the money it used to. I've exhausted almost all the avenues I know of and am looking to keep the commitments I have thru the end of the year (October, really) and then just let it go after that. I'm hoping that I can find a new full time job that I can challenge myself in and feel like a working person again and not to just train and be fired. I'm thinking that after my last three jobs (all banking), that I don't want to get back into banking -- huge slef esteem issues there-- but on the other hand, that is all I know. That's all I've done for the whole ten years I've been working. What else is out there, when you have no education. Military is not an option due to health concerns and I really need something that is first shift so my DD can have a bit of stability in her life. (My hubby travels a bit.) The past 2 days I've been hitting the unemployment offices and the classifieds in the papers and online applications (so far 13 in 2 days) and signed up with 2 staffing agencies. Tomorrow morning, I will take my daughter to school and be back at it again. Hopefully, with some luck I'll get a call that isnt a scam. (I've had 3 so far) It just amazes me how fast life can make you turn around. I thank you all for your prayers and encouragement. I really need it. I hope you all have a wonderful week.

 

[pamperedbecky]

Wow, Amanda, I'm so sorry to hear about everything you're going through. I really feel for you. I hope things get better and there's a light at the end of the tunnel for you. Take care of yourself and know that things HAVE to get better.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Amanda, try http://www.indeed.com

It is a website that lists all the employment sources from the ENTIRE united states, and you can search by job or state... I would try customer service jobs- my sister is in the same boat except she doesn't really have the work history you do- so you have a leg up on her. Banking is truly tough, I'll give you that. I was a Mortgage Consultant at a bank, and the bankers were treated terribly, and the goals they had to make each day would have given me ulcers!

Prayers are still with you!!!

 

[quiverfull7]

Wow... I'm lifting prayers for both of you right now!

 

[baychef]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{BIG HUGS for both Amanda and Kacey}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Two of my favorite sayings:

I know God won't give me anything more than I can handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much ~ Mother Theresa~

(You have heard the saying) When one door closes another one opens...it is just the wait in the hallway that is uncomfortable.

Amanda, you are being tested and it is so difficult. Lean on your friends, family and church if you so desire.

You mention "no education". My brother, ex-husband and current boyfriend have a collective 12 years of college education. Collectively....all graduated, 5 degrees, one did a double major in four years...the whole nine yards.
I have a 2 year degree and have worked my way through varies "versions" of my major. I make more money than all 3 put together!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (before PC)

This is only my advice...take what you need and leave the rest...leave it all if it doesn't fit. REALLY search your heart. What do YOU want to do? This will not be an easy thing if you really search your soul. Once you have a direction then pursue it. It sounds like PC is challenging right now but think really hard before you set it aside.

Make a list of pros and cons with every direction you see yourself going in. I can guarantee that no matter when you set your heart in the right direction, it will not be easy, but you need to love what you are doing to work through the challenges.

My heart aches for you when I hear of your stress level because your daughter feels it too. You know when you listen to the emergency landing information when you are taking off on a plane? "Put your oxygen mask on before you help your child or others." As a Mom, our instinct is to put our children first but in this instance, you need to survive to help your child...the same applies to you right now...take care of Mom so she can be strong enough to help her child.

Kacey...I can not begin to imagine what a tragic life your husband has had to endure. And all of the challenges you have faced in your work area and standing by your husband through what he continues to go through. Remind each other what has gone RIGHT in your lives. Your love for one another is the richest gift. It is so hard to count blessings when the curses of life take over.

Bless you both. You are both strong and brave women. Turn here to your friends here on CS for support. We are here for you.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Hi Amanda, I just wanted to check in to see how you were doing today. You have been in my prayers and thoughts!

 

[KellyTheChef]

Amanda...

I am just now seeing this thread and I wanted to say that I will certainly pray for you, your financial situation, and for all of your family members. I pray that God shows you clearly the direction that He wants you to move...