I Could Just Spit Nails....vent Alert!

[ChefBeckyD]

This is totally off topic.....(I guess that's what the Lounge is for though)

I've posted before about my Mom having Alzheimer's....and right now my slacker brother and his equally slacker wife and her 2 little demons are living with her - in a house owned by my older brother.

Bro. & SIL have a dog - and now my mom wants one, and so they took her to the humane society and had her pick out a dog for herself....A PIT BULL! (Now - those of you who are Pit bull lovers - go start your own thread about how much you love them - because this ain't gonna be it...and I won't be changing my mind!)

Now, remember - my mom has an illness which makes her unpredictable, and volatile....and now they have her paired with a dog with the same traits. I cannot even believe that my half-brained brother would be stupid enough to do this. DH is just going to flip when he hears it...our son is not allowed around Pit Bulls (we are in total agreement on that!) and I know his reaction is going to be that DS can't go over there anymore.....and I have to agree with him. There was just a local news story a couple of weeks ago about a little boy who had to have his arm amputated because the family pet pit bull ("he was so gentle...such a good family dog....blah blah blah....") attacked without provocation and mauled him.

I am seething right now - and needed to vent. How is my mom, who can't even take care of herself - going to take care of a dog like this? She could forget and just let it out to roam...and who knows what could happen...or she could be mean to the dog when she isn't aware of what she is doing and the dog could turn on her....I am just sick.

Of course, she is all excited...she's like a little kid. She told me she's waited her whole life for a dog. (She's had several through the years) I am laying the blame on my idiotic brother - he should have know better.

Okay - I feel marginally better by typing this out....again - please don't make this thread a defense of pit bulls - I'm sure there are some that have them and love them - but this is my vent thread, and I don't need to hear how wonderful yours is!

 

[chefjeanine]

Oh Becky, I can't even come up with anything to say. What an idiot! (okay, maybe I can think of something)

She can't keep the dog. . .but how do you get it out of her life now. Your brother will be no help (and probably do his best to make you look like the bad guy), but you can't allow her to keep the dog. For the dog's sake as well as your mom's.

 

[rennea]

Gee Becky what a no brainer for you brother!!! I'd be screaming mad too.

 

[thecougchef]

the humane societies around here wont even let you adopt their pit bulls if they get any in. i am sorry about this situation. it is a little scary to think about the unpredictableness (thats a word, right?) of someone with this disease and of this type of animal. there is a reason why certain breeds like this arent allowed in apartment buildings and rental homes and other places where other people would potentially be held liable for the dogs actions. i wonder if your mom would be willing to trade the pitbull for a cat?

 

[Addie4TLC]

So sorry Becky. This is a tuff one! Maybe you can make arrangements with the humane society when you explain the problem and they can pick up the dog. Since it's a delicate situation with your mom so excited maybe they can come up with a humane way to take it back.

 

[pamperedlinda]

Oh Becky, I'd be very upset too! I also have a feeling that if the Humane Society knew that this dog was going to an elderly woman with Alzheimers they would not have allowed the adoption. I think you should call and talk to them about this - maybe they will null the adoption and request the dog be returned?

 

[rennea]

Calling the humane society might be a good idea Becky. I know that they are strict around here who they adopt to and they might not have any idea about your Mom, my guess your brother would have done everything and they might have assumed it was for him.

 

[mrssyvo]

Maybe your mom will not notice if you exchange it quickly with a sweet lap dog (poodle, yorkie, etc)

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Thanks everyone.

Duh! I was so upset, I didn't even think of contacting the Humane Society.

I did contact my older brother though. He owns the house, and if something should happen to a neighbor, or someone's child who is visiting or something - he could be liable....I thought he should know. I told him I felt like a tattletale - but I didn't really care!

 

[Addie4TLC]

Let us know what they tell you. The sooner the better, you don't want her to get anymore attached.

 

[legacypc46]

Vent away girl! And give your brother a slap upside the head...you'll feel better.

 

[Nanisu]

Here's a thought--here in S.California, if you have a pit bull or a rottweiler or doberman or other dog that might "go off", a lot of homeowners' insurance companies will not cover you--could you check into that? Maybe that would deter them....

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Let us know what they tell you. The sooner the better, you don't want her to get anymore attached.

Oh - the good thing is - she has to wait a week to get the dog, because the Humane Society Vet is on vacation, and the dog can't be released until the vet gives the okay. Whew! Some time to take care of this!

 

[pamperedlinda]

That's good news Becky! Have your brother (the home owner) call the HS and let them know that they are renters and that he will not allow a pit bull on his property.

 

[chef_kimmo]

It is amazing what some people think some times. My brother and his wife just bought a Pit Bull puppy and they have a 3 year old son. I was just astonished at the lack of thought of their child that went into this selection and about the future -- the what if's.

Your brother obviously wasn't thinking like the adult in this situation. I hope the Humane Society will take it back and even a lab would be a great companion dog.

Best of luck and hope you feel better now.

 

[Addie4TLC]

Oh - the good thing is - she has to wait a week to get the dog, because the Humane Society Vet is on vacation, and the dog can't be released until the vet gives the okay. Whew! Some time to take care of this!

PHEEEEEEEEEEEEW!!! Great idea on checking on the Home Owners insurance it could be a great excuse and your mom will have to understand.

Hope you feel a lot less stress now that there's a light. Things will work out.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Calling the humane society might be a good idea Becky. I know that they are strict around here who they adopt to and they might not have any idea about your Mom, my guess your brother would have done everything and they might have assumed it was for him.

Yeah, Pitbulls need a LOT of daily exercise and training to stay out of the redzone- bad and lazy owners is what causes them to become unpredictable- regardless, maybe call the humane society- I agree with that... Or, you can borrow my Dog Whisperer book from Chef Meg!

A nice, calm, basset hound named Flash would be good for her! LOL

 

[pamperedlinda]

A nice, calm, basset hound named Flash would be good for her! LOL

My brother used to have a basset named Flash! LOL That dog could howl!

 

[BethCooks4U]

That's good news Becky! Have your brother (the home owner) call the HS and let them know that they are renters and that he will not allow a pit bull on his property.

Exactly what I was going to say. Get her a different dog if she wants one but YOU and your brother who owns the house need to pick it out. What were they thinking?! - I know, they weren't.:grumpy:

 

[chefmeg]

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!
I would so be calling the HS to get that dog placed elsewhere! There has to be a way to replace it with a calm, LITTLE dog....

As for the Dog Whisperer book~I am sending it back to Kacey Monday and calling the "Dog Behaviorolist(sp?)" the vet recommended for our little terror...oops, I mean terrier! He has bitten me 3 times in the last 3 weeks and I am doing everything Caeser said! I am not waiting around for something bad to happen to my kids~if the doggie pshychiatrist can't help him, he is out of here! I love the dog, the kids love the dog, DH tolerates the dog, but safety of children first!

 

[sk8rgrrl99]

A pit-bull and your Mom don't seem to be a good fit for each other, I definitely agree with that. I'm sure the humane society can help you.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

My brother used to have a basset named Flash! LOL That dog could howl!

So did Roscoe P. Coltrane from The Dukes of Hazzard! LOL

 

[Kitchen Diva]

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!
I would so be calling the HS to get that dog placed elsewhere! There has to be a way to replace it with a calm, LITTLE dog....

As for the Dog Whisperer book~I am sending it back to Kacey Monday and calling the "Dog Behaviorolist(sp?)" the vet recommended for our little terror...oops, I mean terrier! He has bitten me 3 times in the last 3 weeks and I am doing everything Caeser said! I am not waiting around for something bad to happen to my kids~if the doggie pshychiatrist can't help him, he is out of here! I love the dog, the kids love the dog, DH tolerates the dog, but safety of children first!

What?!?! The dog whisperer could not help? Hmmm- it's gotta be medical then! Sorry about that- he worked for my dogs- and I have a Golden that attacks you if you try to pry a kleenex or paper towel out of his mouth!

 

[pamperedlinda]

So did Roscoe P. Coltrane from The Dukes of Hazzard! LOL

I was trying to remember where Flash came from - I was thinking Smokey and the Bandit - what was that dog's name? (Jerry Reed's character's dog)

 

[pamperedlinda]

I just googled it - Fred

 

[chefmeg]

What?!?! The dog whisperer could not help? Hmmm- it's gotta be medical then! Sorry about that- he worked for my dogs- and I have a Golden that attacks you if you try to pry a kleenex or paper towel out of his mouth!

I have taken that dog for a walk every day...sometimes twice a day. We have worked with getting him in his crate without growling, feeding him only after I have eaten, the kids tried to stay calm around him........

yesterday, Rachel was talking on the phone to my DH and Zeke started growling..when I went into the living room to see why, he turned on me and bit my hand AGAIN! The vet said we might have to resort to medicating him, but that is a last resort~I want to try the doggie doctor first!

 

[DebbieJ]

Ugh. This is terrible. My grandma has Alzheimers and I know what you mean about being volatile. wowsers.

Glad to hear you have some time to get this straightened out.

 

[heat123]

Wow, that's a head scratcher on your brother's part. Sounds like something my own brother would do! lol

I hope you can fix- change it before the dog can be released!

 

[pampered.chris]

Wow...yeah, not a good situation at all. You and your older brother need to confront your other brother and tell him how it is. This is irresponsible and unacceptable on his part to pick out a dog that has tendencies such as pit bulls do. A small lap dog would be GREAT for your mom. Or a mutt even...Mutts are the BEST dogs!!
I hope the HS can help you out on this. Keep us posted!!!

 

[PurpleAngel]

What a dumb a&&...

I have had two grandfathers that have pass from this same illness. I understand the violent outburst, etc that can occur. I would agree that she can not have a dog with the same/similar traits. Fortunately for you, the vet is out and the dog can not be released. And you now have some time to correct this situation. How ever, your brother should take some responsibility for this situation also. Himself, of all people should be able to see the situation for what it is, he lives in the same household with her.

 

[chefjeanine]

Becky,

So glad to hear the dog is not at the house yet. . .I think you'll be able to get this fixed! BTW, I don't think your mom needs a dog. Who is going to end up taking care of the dog when she is no longer able? And like you said, regardless of the personality of the dog, it would be awful if she lapsed on caring for the dog (it got loose, wasn't fed properly).

 

[Kodeysmom]

My brother used to have a basset named Flash! LOL That dog could howl!

My Best friend has a basset named Flash!!

And I will put my 2 cents in-we have pit bulls and and 4 year old DS. They are the most loving dogs I have ever seen. The protect our DS like nobody else can!!
I know what the statistics are about pit bulls and stuff but when my cousin was 3 years old he got bit in the face by a shitzu-and he did nothing to the dog noone was touching it or playing with it or anything. It jumped over the couch and latched on-almost bit the whole bottom of his face off.
So I cannot agree totally with the whole pit bulls, etc are all vicious-there are plenty of other types of animals that are just as much or more so-Okay end of my opinion.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

My Best friend has a basset named Flash!!

And I will put my 2 cents in-we have pit bulls and and 4 year old DS. They are the most loving dogs I have ever seen. The protect our DS like nobody else can!!
I know what the statistics are about pit bulls and stuff but when my cousin was 3 years old he got bit in the face by a shitzu-and he did nothing to the dog noone was touching it or playing with it or anything. It jumped over the couch and latched on-almost bit the whole bottom of his face off.
So I cannot agree totally with the whole pit bulls, etc are all vicious-there are plenty of other types of animals that are just as much or more so-Okay end of my opinion.

Yep - that's why I said anyone who loves pit bulls could start a "we love pit bulls" thread.....


A pit bull does not belong with a 67 yr old woman with alzheimers. That is just common sense.

 

[peichef]

I can only imagine how pi$$ed off you are. i know I'd be fuming!
Seems quite likely that the HS will not release that (possibly any) dog to your mom once they know her medical condition. I willing to guess that one phone call is all it will take to fix this problem.
Maybe the vet can serve as the excuse. Perhaps you can create a medical situation for the dog that would mean it can't be released!?!?

 

[ChefBeckyD]

I can only imagine how pi$$ed off you are. i know I'd be fuming!
Seems quite likely that the HS will not release that (possibly any) dog to your mom once they know her medical condition. I willing to guess that one phone call is all it will take to fix this problem.
Maybe the vet can serve as the excuse. Perhaps you can create a medical situation for the dog that would mean it can't be released!?!?

I've talked to my SIL (the good one!) and she is having my brother call the HS....he owns the house.

The problem is that big brother has just been reassigned (or whatever you call it) to New Orleans w/ The Marine Corp., and is traveling all over the place for work right now. It's hard to get a hold of him. SIL and the kiddos stayed in Virginia, because he will only be stationed in NO for a year, and he will be traveling for most of that year. SIL was able to talk to him just briefly to fill him in, and he will call back late this evening.

 

[Jennie4PC]

This is totally off topic.....(I guess that's what the Lounge is for though)

I've posted before about my Mom having Alzheimer's....and right now my slacker brother and his equally slacker wife and her 2 little demons are living with her - in a house owned by my older brother.

Bro. & SIL have a dog - and now my mom wants one, and so they took her to the humane society and had her pick out a dog for herself....A PIT BULL! (Now - those of you who are Pit bull lovers - go start your own thread about how much you love them - because this ain't gonna be it...and I won't be changing my mind!)

Now, remember - my mom has an illness which makes her unpredictable, and volatile....and now they have her paired with a dog with the same traits. I cannot even believe that my half-brained brother would be stupid enough to do this. DH is just going to flip when he hears it...our son is not allowed around Pit Bulls (we are in total agreement on that!) and I know his reaction is going to be that DS can't go over there anymore.....and I have to agree with him. There was just a local news story a couple of weeks ago about a little boy who had to have his arm amputated because the family pet pit bull ("he was so gentle...such a good family dog....blah blah blah....") attacked without provocation and mauled him.

I am seething right now - and needed to vent. How is my mom, who can't even take care of herself - going to take care of a dog like this? She could forget and just let it out to roam...and who knows what could happen...or she could be mean to the dog when she isn't aware of what she is doing and the dog could turn on her....I am just sick.

Of course, she is all excited...she's like a little kid. She told me she's waited her whole life for a dog. (She's had several through the years) I am laying the blame on my idiotic brother - he should have know better.

Okay - I feel marginally better by typing this out....again - please don't make this thread a defense of pit bulls - I'm sure there are some that have them and love them - but this is my vent thread, and I don't need to hear how wonderful yours is!

Becky I am so sorry about the dog thing. I also hate pit bulls I actually knew someone who lost thier son in a pitbull attack. I havent read other posts but is there a way you could have her get another dog and take the dog back to the the shelter and explain the situation?

 

[Kodeysmom]

Yep - that's why I said anyone who loves pit bulls could start a "we love pit bulls" thread.....


A pit bull does not belong with a 67 yr old woman with alzheimers. That is just common sense.

Oh I completely agree with that just not sure what kind of dog would go.

 

[raebates]

Oh, Becky, I'm so sorry this has been added to your plate. You and your mom will be in my prayers.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

I have taken that dog for a walk every day...sometimes twice a day. We have worked with getting him in his crate without growling, feeding him only after I have eaten, the kids tried to stay calm around him........

yesterday, Rachel was talking on the phone to my DH and Zeke started growling..when I went into the living room to see why, he turned on me and bit my hand AGAIN! The vet said we might have to resort to medicating him, but that is a last resort~I want to try the doggie doctor first!

Meg- I'm so sorry- I know you really wanted that book to help out. Seems like you did make some headway, but sounds like the little guy has some mental issues! (I speak from experience...I had a kitty with mental issues)

Hugs to you, and your poor hand!

 

[pcchefjane]

My father had Alzheimer's 30 years ago and no one knew anything about treating it. As he was getting "senile", he could not even remember to dress himself, was prone to stripping in the middle of the living room, running outside because "he wanted to go home", and other outbursts. Sad to say, it was a blessing in disguise when he had multiple strokes and was confined to a hospital bed at home for the rest of his life (3-1/2 years). There is no way he could have managed a dog as he was getting worse and my mother had her hands full with him. I agree totally that the "dumb brother" needs a whack up the side of the head!:thumbup: I pray that since you can contact the HS before the dog is released, they won't let it be released. I hope they also "blacklist" your brother and not allow him to adopt any other dogs!:thumbup:

 

[KellyTheChef]

Holy cow...that is just assanine! It continues to amaze me how many people have no common sense in this world...

I would be totally pi$$ed off too! I hope everything turns out OK, and that the pit bull stays where it should be...in the shelter. It has no business being in the same house as your mom.

 

[dianevill]

Wow, Becky!

I'd be fuming as well. It does sound like there's going to be an out, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Can the SIL step in if your brother can't? (Does she own the house, too?) I'd do everything in my will to make sure this doesn't happen. And yes, any dog can bite, but pairing a breed of dog with KNOWN "issues" with your mom is just well, STUPID!

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Wow, Becky!

I'd be fuming as well. It does sound like there's going to be an out, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Can the SIL step in if your brother can't? (Does she own the house, too?) I'd do everything in my will to make sure this doesn't happen. And yes, any dog can bite, but pairing a breed of dog with KNOWN "issues" with your mom is just well, STUPID!

I keep saying that...and using the word stupid here tonight...and DS keeps saying "Mom - we don't use the word stupid, remember?"

The thing is....yes, any dog can bite....but I've never heard of anyone losing a limb or their life from being attacked by a Maltese.

 

[dianevill]

I keep saying that...and using the word stupid here tonight...and DS keeps saying "Mom - we don't use the word stupid, remember?"

The thing is....yes, any dog can bite....but I've never heard of anyone losing a limb or their life from being attacked by a Maltese.

Had to laugh at that. I can just picture that at my house, too!

 

[lacychef]

I'd be spitting nails too! Yikes....at least you have some time to sort it out. Maybe they have a lab to switch with it?
My uncle who lives with my grandma has a pit bull. I won't get out of the car with the kiddos there unless he's pinned up because they are too unpredictable. One day theirs did run out & bite a man on the leg that was jogging by their house.
I agree with ya...you just hear too many times...oh, he was the best dog--never hurt anyone...yeah right, that's what they all say!

 

[pampchefsarah]

Becky, I agree with everyone else about trying to keep the dog out of the house (while i wouldn't have pit bulls, either, i know a couple of people who did - the dogs were extremely friendly, but also extremely high maintenance, needing ALOT of exercise, and it doesn't sound like your Mom can handle this). My suggestion, though, is to contact your Mom's doctor before deciding on what, if any, pet should be brought into the house.

After my Dad had his second open heart surgery, the doctor actually wrote a prescription for a dog (the housing community in which my parents lived didn't allow pets at the time), to help deal with Dad's depression. So, your Mom's doctor might also think a pet is a good idea. However, considering her mental capacity, and that it will most likely get worse, or at least not improve (I'm sorry, that must be so heart-rending for you and your family), the doctor may tell you it would be unwise to get a pet.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Becky, I agree with everyone else about trying to keep the dog out of the house (while i wouldn't have pit bulls, either, i know a couple of people who did - the dogs were extremely friendly, but also extremely high maintenance, needing ALOT of exercise, and it doesn't sound like your Mom can handle this). My suggestion, though, is to contact your Mom's doctor before deciding on what, if any, pet should be brought into the house.

After my Dad had his second open heart surgery, the doctor actually wrote a prescription for a dog (the housing community in which my parents lived didn't allow pets at the time), to help deal with Dad's depression. So, your Mom's doctor might also think a pet is a good idea. However, considering her mental capacity, and that it will most likely get worse, or at least not improve (I'm sorry, that must be so heart-rending for you and your family), the doctor may tell you it would be unwise to get a pet.

Thanks Sarah - I hadn't thought of if from that perspective...other than I know that it is calming for anyone to have a pet. My DH works for a Sr. Living Center, and they allow the nurses and other staff to bring animals to work and hang out with the residents, and residents who are capable are allowed to have cats and small dogs.

But consulting a Dr. is a good idea!:thumbup:

 

[byrd1956]

I keep saying that...and using the word stupid here tonight...and DS keeps saying "Mom - we don't use the word stupid, remember?"The thing is....yes, any dog can bite....but I've never heard of anyone losing a limb or their life from being attacked by a Maltese.

Heidi, our little Maltese is so lovable and sweet! You could put your face right infront of her when she had a bone and she won't do a thing. (of course DH started doing that w/her when we first got her....so I would say she is trained......) I actually got my lip bit by our first dig when I was too close & she had a bone. DH didn't want that to happen again. I've never been around anyone w/alzheimers, but from what I've heard others say there would not be a responsible person to care for the dog no matter what breed it is.

 

[chefmeg]

Meg- I'm so sorry- I know you really wanted that book to help out. Seems like you did make some headway, but sounds like the little guy has some mental issues! (I speak from experience...I had a kitty with mental issues)

Hugs to you, and your poor hand!

figures I would have a mental dog................

 

[chefann]

Heidi, our little Maltese is so lovable and sweet! You could put your face right infront of her when she had a bone and she won't do a thing. (of course DH started doing that w/her when we first got her....so I would say she is trained......) I actually got my lip bit by our first dig when I was too close & she had a bone. DH didn't want that to happen again. I've never been around anyone w/alzheimers, but from what I've heard others say there would not be a responsible person to care for the dog no matter what breed it is.

That was my first thought, too. Maybe she'd be OK now, but as the disease progresses, not so much. And it sounds like SIL and B wouldn't be much help taking care of it.

Can you contact a local hospital or nursing home to get the name of a handler of a therapy dog? They may be willing to make scheduled visits on a regular basis, so your mom can get the benefits of a pet without having to care for it.