Venting: Dealing with a Neighbor Driven by Animosity

[lockhartkitchen]

I have to vent. My neighbor behind me introduced herself to me a year ago (2 days after I moved in) with " Did you know your dog barks? For those of us who don't like animals it's annoying."

Since our lovely introduction, she has called the police 5 times in the last month. Twice because my kids were playing too loudly in the backyard. The other three were for the dog barking. Mind you, our dog is indoors except to do the duty. The last time she called was two days before fourth of July when neighbors were letting off illegal fireworks. Dogs will bark. My dog was outside only while we went to the store for 15 minutes. I barely get out of the car door and she's screaming at me and my husband.

Today we get served two letters from the police. One for our dog barking and listing 3 dates that it has disturbed "a neighbor". The other letter is for our suburban parked in our driveway. It's ugly because the roof had rusted, but it's our vehicle. It's been sitting, because my husband needs help pulling the engine to do some work on it. We haven't had the money to do this. We now have until next Tuesday to show that it moves, or have it moved, or we will be fined. We don't live in an association, but because our vehicle doesn't run the city labels it as "junk".

We know it was her. Just two days ago she yelled at my son for playing in the pool too loud (He's 14). She doesn't have the guts to talk personally to us. Now we get the letter. Coincidence? No!

This neighbor isn't loved by anyone that has animals. We've spoken to other neighbors and they say they have rarely heard our dog bark since she stays indoors and my husband works from home. They've had run=-ins with her too.

Not a Christianly thought, but I noticed her weeds are coming through my fence. I think some roundup will take care of that. I think we need some brighter lights on our back porch. Uggh.

 

[janetupnorth]

That's tough Julie - can you fight it or file a counter-complaint of her harassing you with these?On the truck, call and ask what can be done. Explain that you are trying to work on it. Ask if you can take pictures, move it about 4-5 feet and take pictures again to complete the "legal" requirements of "moving" it. ???? Don't know the laws, but just a thought.

 

[Chef Michelle D]

Wow Julie that is harsh, is the car that is sitting able to run? If not then what can you do with it? It's unfar for the her and the town to make you get it fixed if you don't have the money so it moves from "your" driveway. I would look into what the town can really do about it. That is way too much and you don't live in a association, like I said Wow.

As for her speaking to your DS, I would go to her house and tell her she is not to speak to your children again. If she has a problem she should call you or come over, she should not speak to minors about a problem she has with them even if it's just "being too loud". I would also find out what the town rule is about "loud noises". Some towns have limits on when you need to be quiet at night and in the morning. If you have too I would look into getting a restraining order so she can't speak to your children.

And your dog barking, she needs to GET OVER IT!! What does the letter say needs to be done with the barking? Dogs bark that is what they do, you can't controll that all the time.

Good luck and keep us posted.

 

[janetupnorth]

Hmm...does the dog bark when she comes out? Maybe you should complain that she is teasing your dog and yelling at your child. I too would give her a warning about yelling at your child and if she doesn't comply, I'd get a restraining order too. She seems to have gotten WAY out of hand and is nitpicking you.You don't have time to deal with it. I'm all for being VERY nice, but you have a right to defend yourself.

 

[chefann]

Check with your city codes office! They should have a handbook available with all the codes pertaining to noise, trash, and vehicles on property. If you can go through them and show that your dog/kids/truck don't violate codes then there's nothing she can do about it.Unfortunately, it sounds like the car may violate a city code. My city has codes that you cannot have an undriveable/unregistered car visible on your property, even if it's inside a gate.

 

[pampered.chris]

Noise laws don't go into effect in my town until 10 or 11 pm.

I know there are no rules about immobile vehicles as my sister lives downtown and has 2 along the street and NO ONE has said a word.

I know we have a law about grass being over 8 inches high, you get fined.

That just sucks to have sucky neighbors. My word, if we were like that in my neighborhood, we'd all be in trouble. The kids next door are SO LOUD ALL THE TIME and I hate mowing my yard, but do it once a week, doesn't ever look bad but the one neighbor pays to have his mowed 3 times a week!!

I agree w/ everyone else, check your city rules!! and spray the weeds and her yard w/ round up!!! oops, I didn't say that out loud!!

 

[ChefLisa]

In response to her greeting, "I have to vent. My neighbor behind me introduced herself to me a year ago (2 days after I moved in) with " Did you know your dog barks? For those of us who don't like animals it's annoying."

A future comeback if ever in a situation like that.

Did you know you are ugly? For those of us who don't like ugly people, you are quite annoying!

Seriously, this woman has gone way overboard. My guess is the police are totally over her. They have better things to do then respond to all of her complaints.

 

[pampered.chris]

In response to her greeting, "I have to vent. My neighbor behind me introduced herself to me a year ago (2 days after I moved in) with " Did you know your dog barks? For those of us who don't like animals it's annoying."

A future comeback if ever in a situation like that.

Did you know you are ugly? For those of us who don't like ugly people, you are quite annoying!

Seriously, this woman has gone way overboard. My guess is the police are totally over her. They have better things to do then respond to all of her complaints.

Oh my word!!! Too funny!!!! I can see myself saying that to the neighbors behind me. They are strange people, I call them Olive Oyl and Popeye (she looks like Olive Oyl and he is more Popeye than Brutus). I am so afraid that they will want to talk to me and I will call them by the names I made up!! LOL

 

[JAE]

I'm sorry that your neighbor is unkind. I'm sure there are better ways for your neighbor to go about asking you to keep your dog from barking. It is very awkward for someone to talk to a neighbor about a barking dog. I have experience with this situation and have trouble figuring out a nice way to tell someone that the barking needs to stop.

My neighbor's dogs bark. I haven't called the police....yet. The barking is totally not okay with me. I have talked to them about it. No, I guess I yelled across the yard at 1:50 AM to tell him it's not okay with me. It's completely rude and unacceptable for dogs to bark when people are most likely sleeping. These dogs have awakened me and my family many times. I won't call the police until I have a real conversation with my neighbors and they still choose to ignore me.

I happen to think it's unacceptable for dogs to be barking outside at any time of day in a neighborhood. Our township has ordinances against that, too. Kids playing outside typically don't wake people from sleep. Dogs barking during the day can and do wake children from daytime naps. JMO.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Ann is right - check the local ordinance. Here, the rule is the vehicle has to be legally registered and properly displaying plates. It doesn't matter if it runs or not, as long as it is currently registered. I have current plates on all my vehicles except one, but in my neighborhood, I'm just pretty much the weird old guy in the red house.

 

[lockhartkitchen]

Ann, and others, they attached a copy of our city's ordinance with it. It states:
Junk. A. No person shall keep junk outdoors on a street, lot, or premises or in a building that is not wholly or entirely enclosed except for doors used for ingres or egress.
B. The term "junk", as used in this section, includes all nonoperative motor vehicles.

"Your above named vehicle must be wholly or entirely enclosed within a building, with doors except for doors used for ingress or egress or removed to a licensed wrecking yard, or removed from the city no later than August 28, 2008 or you may be cited for the above violation. Failure to comply authorizes the City to abatae the nuisance, charge the abatement costs against the real property from which it was abated, and to dispose of any property seized at a public auction. If you would like to demonstrate that the vehicle is perational, please call me..."

It's not like a hillbilly piece of "junk" sitting in my driveway. We're going to have to try to fix it, which means probably no camping trip my last weekend before schools starts. My husband needs an extra pair of hands to help, which means a friend on the weekend. And yes, I'm spraying weeds tomorrow! I'll keep you posted. When my "junk" gets fixed it can still sit in MY driveway. That will eark her.

 

[kristenlee]

Some neighbors are so much fun. I had a neighbor call the police one time because she decided in her head I had killed my husband. My husband had been in Japan working for 7 weeks. Anyway she called the police and said that my husbands car had not left the driveway in over 6 weeks, and that she thought I had done something to him, and that there was a lot of traffic coming and going from my house. (My best friend came over 4 times in the 7 weeks, no one else came over). So the police showed up and said they were looking for my "missing" husband. My first thought was that something had happened to him in Japan, then I saw the neighbor in my driveway and the police informed me of the call they received and asked if I would mind showing proof as to where he was, so I showed them his itinerary. By this time I had gone from scared to extremely pi@@#@ off. The cops kept apologizing and calling me maam, which just made me madder. I then got in the lady's face and told her off. I asked her why she didn't just come ask if everything was ok, her response was I was scared and you never know about you rich people. I am far from rich, I do have the biggest house in the neighborhood, because we have a house with and apartment attached to it for my mom in law, so it is 2 houses. The police gave me the option of pressing harassment charges against her. I choose not to, and instead, every time I saw her I would smile and wave and say "Hi Mrs Kravitz (nosy neighbor from bewitched) how are you today?" or "Hey Mrs Kravitz, have you called the police on anyone today?" It would make her so mad. It was soooo much better than pressing charges. She called police on other neighbors too, but not for murder. About 6 months ago she moved and the neighborhood has been a much nicer place.

 

[mpkegley]

I understand about bad neighbors! Our neighbor has her house trashy, never mows her yard, has weeds in her flower bed about 5 ft tall and she has a pit bull that she keeps out on her back deck. No fence, no chain, anything! Now, I don't want to dog anyone with pit bulls, but I think that when you live in a neighborhood in the city with kids running around everywhere, you should at least have a fence! A couple weeks ago, the dog was loose (again) and it ran after one of the neighbor kids and was ready to pounce when the dogs owner screamed at it and it stopped. If the owner had not been out there at that particular time, the dog would have pounced this little boy. When the childs father called the police, they said that there was nothing that they could do! We have called animal control several times (along with other neighbors) because this dog is running loose around the neighborhood and they never do anything about it. One day, I walked outside to get in my car with my 3 year old and there was police outside my house, because the dog was loose and they helped me get my son and myself into the car. They said the dog was being aggressive when they stepped onto the yard! They evidently did not do anything then either. Come on!! It is going to take someone getting hurt before they will do anything. I think that is a shame. We don't mind dogs barking, that is natural, but when a dog (any kind of dog for that matter) is being aggressive towards kids, that is a problem!

 

[BethCooks4U]

I feel your pain. We have that same neighbor. She has done several things like what you describe ever since we moved here. She annomously called the police when my son was playing guitar in the garage with the door closed and when they came they said that the city has a zero noise tolerance code and that if she complained again we'd have to go to court but he also said that we shouldn't worry because she wouldn't show up and it would be thrown out. I contacted all my neighbors after that and asked if it was ever a problem (the guitar playing). A few said they heard it once in a while but never at times that weren't appropriate and were appauled that someone would call the police about it. Most never heard anything. She said "I did not call but I can hear it in my living room". Right.

She also came over once and asked me if I hit a car that was parked across the street (directly) from my driveway. I had not and she didn't believe me. She insisted on seeing my car. Then another neighbor said I had had company earlier that day (she knew my friend too) and the police caller sent the police over to my friends house to see if HER car was damaged. In the end the police told me (without SAYING it) that she calls them a lot on people and implied that they don't take her too seriously. Two incidents to illustrate her attitude.


In your case, she is very much harrassing you. I would go around the neighborhood and find out what others think about what she is complaining about (kids, dog barking...). Maybe they would be willing to sign a document that says that what she says isn't so. Write down every time she yells at your kids or complains about something. You might have to file harrassment charges on her to get her to stop. I don't know the law but what she is doing is not right.

As far as the car. It doesn't sound fair but I think if you talk to the city about what your plan is and give them a timetable they may give you a break. I would bet she's the one that brought it to their attention but it's past that now.

So sorry you are dealing with such a witch but believe me there are several of them out there just like her.:yuck:

 

[peichef]

Some neighbors are so much fun. I had a neighbor call the police one time because she decided in her head I had killed my husband. My husband had been in Japan working for 7 weeks. Anyway she called the police and said that my husbands car had not left the driveway in over 6 weeks, and that she thought I had done something to him, and that there was a lot of traffic coming and going from my house. (My best friend came over 4 times in the 7 weeks, no one else came over). So the police showed up and said they were looking for my "missing" husband. My first thought was that something had happened to him in Japan, then I saw the neighbor in my driveway and the police informed me of the call they received and asked if I would mind showing proof as to where he was, so I showed them his itinerary. By this time I had gone from scared to extremely pi@@#@ off. The cops kept apologizing and calling me maam, which just made me madder. I then got in the lady's face and told her off. I asked her why she didn't just come ask if everything was ok, her response was I was scared and you never know about you rich people. I am far from rich, I do have the biggest house in the neighborhood, because we have a house with and apartment attached to it for my mom in law, so it is 2 houses. The police gave me the option of pressing harassment charges against her. I choose not to, and instead, every time I saw her I would smile and wave and say "Hi Mrs Kravitz (nosy neighbor from bewitched) how are you today?" or "Hey Mrs Kravitz, have you called the police on anyone today?" It would make her so mad. It was soooo much better than pressing charges. She called police on other neighbors too, but not for murder. About 6 months ago she moved and the neighborhood has been a much nicer place.

OMG!!! I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. I love your response to her!! I with I had the guts you have to be able to greet her like that.

As for the neighbour that led to this thread....

I agree about filing a complaint against her for harassment. You'd think the police would be tiring of her & she'd be cited for nuissance complaints. Too bad you can't interview all the neighbours prior to buying / building a house. She clearly has too much time on her hands... I think the "roundup" will keep her busy with her landscaping for awhile.

 

[Oklabell]

May be your son should start a band!! Or set off stink bombs along the fence!! Can you get in trouble for bad smell? Just run a fan to blow it on to her lot!

 

[DessertDivaFL]

Move the suburban to the fence between you and her and that way it has officially moved and the vehicle will block the sound from your dog and your son. I can't stand people like that. They usually end up moving down here to FL to retire.

 

[janetupnorth]

Ann, and others, they attached a copy of our city's ordinance with it. It states:
Junk. A. No person shall keep junk outdoors on a street, lot, or premises or in a building that is not wholly or entirely enclosed except for doors used for ingres or egress.
B. The term "junk", as used in this section, includes all nonoperative motor vehicles.

"Your above named vehicle must be wholly or entirely enclosed within a building, with doors except for doors used for ingress or egress or removed to a licensed wrecking yard, or removed from the city no later than August 28, 2008 or you may be cited for the above violation. Failure to comply authorizes the City to abatae the nuisance, charge the abatement costs against the real property from which it was abated, and to dispose of any property seized at a public auction. If you would like to demonstrate that the vehicle is perational, please call me..."

It's not like a hillbilly piece of "junk" sitting in my driveway. We're going to have to try to fix it, which means probably no camping trip my last weekend before schools starts. My husband needs an extra pair of hands to help, which means a friend on the weekend. And yes, I'm spraying weeds tomorrow! I'll keep you posted. When my "junk" gets fixed it can still sit in MY driveway. That will eark her.

Do you have a garage? Park your car outside and move this into the garage.

 

[janetupnorth]

Ann, and others, they attached a copy of our city's ordinance with it. It states:
Junk. A. No person shall keep junk outdoors on a street, lot, or premises or in a building that is not wholly or entirely enclosed except for doors used for ingres or egress.
B. The term "junk", as used in this section, includes all nonoperative motor vehicles.

"Your above named vehicle must be wholly or entirely enclosed within a building, with doors except for doors used for ingress or egress or removed to a licensed wrecking yard, or removed from the city no later than August 28, 2008 or you may be cited for the above violation. Failure to comply authorizes the City to abatae the nuisance, charge the abatement costs against the real property from which it was abated, and to dispose of any property seized at a public auction. If you would like to demonstrate that the vehicle is perational, please call me..."

It's not like a hillbilly piece of "junk" sitting in my driveway. We're going to have to try to fix it, which means probably no camping trip my last weekend before schools starts. My husband needs an extra pair of hands to help, which means a friend on the weekend. And yes, I'm spraying weeds tomorrow! I'll keep you posted. When my "junk" gets fixed it can still sit in MY driveway. That will eark her.

Personally I wouldn't spray the weeds, that is just doing her gardening for her...she'll probably love that!

 

[janetupnorth]

Move the suburban to the fence between you and her and that way it has officially moved and the vehicle will block the sound from your dog and your son. I can't stand people like that. They usually end up moving down here to FL to retire.

She can't...it has to be enclosed.

 

[lockhartkitchen]

The suburban is too long for a garage. And it doesn't run. Our driveway is slanted, so couldn't even put in a garage if it fit. I'll keep you all posted.

 

[janetupnorth]

Good luck - let us know!

 

[pcchefjane]

I agree that it is too bad we can't interview neighbors before moving in. I have a couple above me that have fights that sound like WWW Raw Wrestling! She throws him down and it rattles everything in my particular room they are in. She yells and screams at him every few days that sounds like one of them may not live to leave again! I called the police a couple of times but it seemed to do no good. In fact, all I got for my trouble was cigarette butts thrown on my deck and in front of my front door! I have a 2 yo grandson that tends to pick things up so it is doubly annoying! One day, God told me to pray for them whenever I see the cigarette butts or hear the fights or the "wrestling throws" and I do. At times, I say, "God are you sure I don't need to call the police?" I did mention it to her once when she told me that her neighbors on the other side of her and upstairs had kept them awake and asked if I had heard them. I told her that she and her husband made so much noise that I just turn up my stereo and ignore it! She called me a few choice names. Other times, she is overly friendly! They have a 14 mo old which scares me more than them hurting each other!

I feel sorry for you on the horrible neighbor! Maybe she needs a dose of the "Mrs. Kravatz" line. Sounds like she is old enough to remember it! You could always build a garage around the vehicle right next to her fence! That would really tick her off! LOL!

 

[lockhartkitchen]

We're not going camping this weekend. My husband is trying to recruit help to fix the head on the suburban. His "all else fail plan" is if he can't get it fixed by Aug.28 (ironically this is his 40th B-day. Happy birthday huh?) he is going to pull out an 8 foot section of our fence (We live on the corner) get help pushing the suburban into the backyard and putting the fence back up until he can get it fixed. Then she'll have to look out her window everyday (she's in a two story) at our "junk". It's rained the last several days. Tomorrow sunny skies are on the horizon. I'm "rounding" up anything poking through my fence.

 

[lacychef]

Oh, I can feel your pain.One of our neighbors always complains about our dog too. Of course, she doesn't complain about the other 5 dogs in the same block that start the barking. Ours doesn't bark unless the other dogs do. She even calls 911---geesh. My MIL is a dispatcher, so she'll call & tell us to let him in before the cop comes by.
Good luck!

 

[pampchefsarah]

I have a slightly different idea on how to handle the situation. It seems this woman is seeking attention - and, as we all know, negative attention is still attention. So, instead of trying to 'get even' why not try to make friends? Maybe invite her to your house to discuss the problems over cookies and tea, or bring something to her house as a peace offering. Once she gets to know you (and your dog and son), maybe she'll become less sensitive to noise.

Also, don't jump to conclusions about her reporting the car as junk. Many cities have compliance officers whose job it is to drive around looking for violations of city codes. We've had a situation before where we thought someone complained about our non-running/expired-tag car, too, but when my husband talked to a couple of neighbors, they said they'd also received notices about various things. Turned out someone was just (annoyingly) doing their job.

I'll be praying for your situation to be resolved in a manner satisfactory to all.