How can I keep my house tidy with young children? Help!

[crystalscookingnow]

I need help! I feel as though I might just pull my hair out. Either that, or find a roll of duct tape & fasten my children to the walls for maybe an hour a day.

I'm trying to make it a habit of getting the house tidy & keep it that way. I even bought a book last night, "The House that Cleans Itself". It feels like all I do is pick up toys. All Day Long. I can't seem to find a rhythm that works for us without just tying the kids up. I pick up one mess & they are in two different rooms making that room 20 times worse than the one I just picked up. I've tried getting them to help me, but it's just easier to do it myself. They are 3 1/2 & 2. I need order in my life & I feel like we have CHAOS all of the time.

How do you keep up with your house? Our house really isn't that big. We've got our living room, toy room/office, kitchen, bathroom & 3 bedrooms. It seems like the best that I can do each day is make it not as bad as the day before. Sometimes, I get so frustrated that I end up just stepping over the stuff. They're just going to get it all out again, so why bother?

Someone, please help!!!!


ETA: In the amount of time that I took to type this while I thought they were watching TV (about 3 feet from me), they took all of the laundry that I just folded from the couch & waded it up. Ugh. This is so frustrating. Please help. I don't want to be the yelling mom, I hate that.

 

[sfdavis918]

Two things come to mind
1. Do you have too many toys?
2. Have you tried the Flylady system? FlyLady.net: Your personal online coach to help you gain control of your house and home

Both of those things keep me running in circles like you. Flylady has really helped me to clean out the clutter and keep things in better order throughout the day.

Good Luck!

 

[sfdavis918]

ETA: In the amount of time that I took to type this while I thought they were watching TV (about 3 feet from me), they took all of the laundry that I just folded from the couch & waded it up. Ugh. This is so frustrating. Please help. I don't want to be the yelling mom, I hate that.

OK, now, why wasn't that laundry put away before you got on the computer? Flylady will help with that too.

 

[erinyourpclady]

When my kids were younger, we did the 7 minute sweep (set the timer for 7 minutes and clean!). It was a race to see who could away the most stuff! Oh and I always had a basket in each room dedicated to toys (even though I hated it!). I also try to clean 2 rooms top to bottom everyday as well as do 2 loads of laundry.

 

[crystalscookingnow]

OK, now, why wasn't that laundry put away before you got on the computer? Flylady will help with that too.

Because in the midst of folding the laundry, they got into the soap in the bathroom & covered the bathroom floor with liquid soap. I thought they were in the girls' bedroom playing. After I cleaned that mess up, I came on here with tears in my eyes to post for help. :cry: :cry:

 

[janetupnorth]

Crystal - I have two great kids, but days like that too...I feel like I am following them around all the time. It is hard, but you have to have a routine for them...and make them clean up even when young. Now go show them how to fold a towel and make them do that - they are old enough and they may actually find it fun. Don't stress if it isn't folded perfectly, it gets pulled out for use anyway!...and you can discipline without yelling. Just calm yourself down, call them in and do it.Explain to them that with help making things neat, it will give mommy more time to play with them or do something fun.Maybe give them a treat at the end of the day if they help. A bowl of icecream works wonders with my two!

 

[janetupnorth]

Oh, and by the way, I DON'T keep up, I just do the best I can and clean deeper when company is coming!

 

[Kitchen Diva]

I need help! I feel as though I might just pull my hair out. Either that, or find a roll of duct tape & fasten my children to the walls for maybe an hour a day.

I'm trying to make it a habit of getting the house tidy & keep it that way. I even bought a book last night, "The House that Cleans Itself". It feels like all I do is pick up toys. All Day Long. I can't seem to find a rhythm that works for us without just tying the kids up. I pick up one mess & they are in two different rooms making that room 20 times worse than the one I just picked up. I've tried getting them to help me, but it's just easier to do it myself. They are 3 1/2 & 2. I need order in my life & I feel like we have CHAOS all of the time.

How do you keep up with your house? Our house really isn't that big. We've got our living room, toy room/office, kitchen, bathroom & 3 bedrooms. It seems like the best that I can do each day is make it not as bad as the day before. Sometimes, I get so frustrated that I end up just stepping over the stuff. They're just going to get it all out again, so why bother?

Someone, please help!!!!


ETA: In the amount of time that I took to type this while I thought they were watching TV (about 3 feet from me), they took all of the laundry that I just folded from the couch & waded it up. Ugh. This is so frustrating. Please help. I don't want to be the yelling mom, I hate that.

Please don't hate me for saying this, but do your kids maybe sense your frustration and they find it funny to stress you out by destroying one room as you clean another? For your kids to do that to your freshly folded laundry tells me they may be doing those things on purpose. It is just a thought. I was a Nanny for a few years and I also taught for a while- I've also worked with children who have behavioral issues, so I do have a little experience and it sounds like your kids are maybe working as a team to drive you nuts!

I know I don't have kids on my own, so I really don't have anything to base this on, other than my limited experience with kids. I agree with Janet- show them how to fold and make them fold what they messed up. It also might make them think twice about doing something if you make them un-do what they did.

I drive my Mom nuts from time to time on purpose- it's sort of fun...but I'd never touch her folded laundry- that's taboo!

 

[reba515]

Because in the midst of folding the laundry, they got into the soap in the bathroom & covered the bathroom floor with liquid soap. I thought they were in the girls' bedroom playing. After I cleaned that mess up, I came on here with tears in my eyes to post for help. :cry: :cry:

OH I feel for you ! I had one of these Where ever I was cleaning he would be someplace else makin' messes! HUGE MESSES like your soap story.

Eventually I had to make the rule "no toys allowed in the family room" it took a couple weeks for it to happen but it did.

Now a few years later I have a basket under the end table that I throw stray toys and such into. When it gets full I dump it into the toy bin no more sorting ! if he can't find something thats just too bad for him.

I know it feels like a losing battle.

My other 2 (15 & 10) usually dump their school/sports bags right in front of door either I make them come get it or I just throw it down the cellar stairs (which makes them mad )

 

[Teresa Lynn]

I can relate to the soap incident. When I was days from delivering my 2nd son (the one who is graduating where did the time go) I had been "nesting" for 3 days you know the obsessive cleaning/organizing you do just before the baby comes and we had just come home from the grocery store.. I went to take a quick shower leaving my 2 year old with his new tonka bulldozer. I came out of the bathroom and he had dumped an entire large rubbermaid container full of powdered sugar all over my clean floor and was pushing the "snow" around with his bulldozer. As soon as I walked in he blamed it on Jack Frost (he used to love looking at the designs the crystals on the window made by Jack Frost)Ever tried to clean up powdered sugar off linoleum?? it just gets static & flies away and water just make a glaze!!He's now in college and I would give anything for one of his messes now

 

[chefann]

Janet beat me to it - I was going to suggest that the kids clean up after themselves. We had to do that when I was a kid. And my sister takes it a step further: if the kids don't have the toys cleaned up by specific times throughout each day (lunch, nap, dinner, bed), they get picked up, put in a basket, and taken away. They have to earn them back.

 

[PamperedDor]

Well - here is my two cents:

1. make an area that only the toys can be in - family room, den, playroom, bedroom... If they are in all rooms they will be all over the house!!

2. In that area, baskets are your friend. They hold everything - truck basket, barbie basket, matchbox basket etc (I have a oganizing problem!! LOL).

3. Many moons ago when my oldest was little and into Barney (is he even around anymore??) - Clean up CLean up was our favorite song - we did it together and if I was folding laundry, we would sing it together and I would do my cleaning and she would do her toys. As the clan began to grow, we just taught them the same concept. Boys would clean boys toys and girls theirs. The first one done would help the other and when everything was nice and tidy, a treat for all of us!! Make it fun if you can!!

 

[PamperedDor]

Oh and like Ann said - we still have the 3 times rule - if I have to tell you more then 3 times to pick something up - its in the trash or goes to charity - you bet my kids get it on time 2!!! I have followed thru with it as well - that is the key!

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Crystal, how are you doing? Do you still have any hair left?

 

[sfdavis918]

Because in the midst of folding the laundry, they got into the soap in the bathroom & covered the bathroom floor with liquid soap. I thought they were in the girls' bedroom playing. After I cleaned that mess up, I came on here with tears in my eyes to post for help. :cry: :cry:

Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean for that to sound condescending either, I was just curious as to why it hadn't been put away yet.

We got our clean up game from Little Bill. You find something that needs to be put away (say a truck) and say "Truck, truck, zoopity zuck. One two zoopity zoo!" My two little guys really get things put away when we do that. I think my 4 year old likes the challenge of turning the word into another with the z.

 

[crystalscookingnow]

Barely! LOL

Really, it got a little better after I talked with all of you. I had a talk with the 3 1/2 yo & it's seemed to have helped.

Today was probably not a good day to vent. They didn't have a nap (both are used to 2 hrs) because they slept in a bit. When they don't have naps, they tend to get a little crazy. We're doing a bit better, but they did spend about an hour with grandma to give me a break (she lives next door).

Thanks to all of you for letting me know that I'm not alone, nor am I a horrible mother. Hugs!

 

[AnnieBee]

Crystal, all I can say is that your house sounds EXACTLY like my house... My kids are 1, 3 and 4 1/2 and the older two are absolute stinkers for pulling everything out and not putting stuff away, and making other messes. My 3 year old is particularly bad. He will grab a puzzle and just dump (or fling) the pieces around the room for no reason... He is also incredibly destructive with books, the border in his room, puzzle/game boxes... Of course it's frequently when I am changing a diaper or running upstairs to get the baby up from her nap, or for whatever reason am not RIGHT there... (I have to pee sometime!). I try to have a rule of not being allowed to play with something until the previous toy/game has been tidied up, but they are so quick to make huge messes while I am out of sight for just a moment. I keep certain things high up and out of reach but they are very creative at getting to everything anyway, and there are plenty of toys that are in baskets and within reach... Sometimes I wish that I only had shelves 6 feet high to put all of their things on so only an adult could get them down! My 4 year old should know better, but the two of them together is a BAD combination! (NOTE: I did not plan to have kids 14 months apart!! ) I put toys into time out, and the kids into time out, but it has NO impact on their future behaviour. It is EXTREMELY frustrating! Right now we are trying a good behaviour chart, where positive behaviour (doing something the first time they are asked, tidying up, sharing well etc) gets a sticker, and when the chart is filled up they get a treat, like something from the dollar section at Target, or going out for Ice-cream. The charts have a lot of circles to fill, so I can be LIBERAL with praising and pointing out their good behaviour without having to give out a treat every 3 days! Your kids are younger than mine, but it might still work. Also, When we are tidying up together, we will set a timer and whatever is not cleaned up goes into a big tub and into time out for a few days. I try to be specific, such as, pick up all the train track pieces, or the duplo blocks, or sometimes even just saying "put away any five toys" (and then repeating as necessary!) helps them to not be overwhelmed with where to start. Also helping them too, but making sure they are doing their part.

Of course now my 14 month old is getting into the act, pulling laundry out of the basket and dumping out toy baskets...

Anyway, I hope some of this helps, even if it is just knowing you are not alone in this! I have also yelled and lost my patience more than I should, but I try to remember that 1) I would be devestaed if anything happened to any of them and 2) They are only 3 and 4. They are acting their age and I need to be patient with them (while trying to modify the behaviour!!).

Sorry this is so long... You have my sympathy! And the others had some good ideas too. Not every idea works for every kid, so you have to figure out what will motivate yours! I hope I don't come across as a total failure as a mother - there are days when I just feel beat! :grumpy: :yuck:

Annabel

 

[Bren706]

No advice to give here, but I will definetely take some of the suggestions posted above. My house is in constant chaos. I have a 2 1/2 yr DD, and a 5 yr old DS. I can barely keep up with keeping the downstairs picked up each day (picked up, hardly ever CLEAN!) Keeping up with the dishes is impossible. My dishwasher and sink are always full. The four bedrooms (one has the spare bed, and my "office area" which is a disaster) and the laundry room are all upstairs. They always look like war zones. They might get picked up a couple of times a month.

It just seems like there is never enough time, between spending time with them, working my business, and then tending to the daily routines.

I may have to look at Flylady!

 

[Chef Endora]

"I drive my Mom nuts from time to time on purpose- it's sort of fun...but I'd never touch her folded laundry- that's taboo!"

(Quote of Kitchen Diva..I don't know how to do a partial quote. )

See....the word DRIVE? They learn how to do that,.... drive the parent. And, they get pretty darn good at it.

If I do this, then______happens. Tweak or turn this behavior around to your advantage.

Also, if you are overwhelmed by their toys, chances are they are too. My DD
has a boy that will be 8 on Wed. A few years ago when she was overwhelmed by all the toys, she started to take 2/3 of them and put them away out of sight. That way, the mess couldn't get so big and he could actually SEE what he had to play with. When he seemed to be getting bored with them, she would rotate those to the closet and bring out different ones. He liked this. It was like a "Surprise" day. Name it something special like that so they think they are getting something.

Also, if you tell a kid something, like you're going to throw out something, the you better plan on following through on it or your word won't mean anything. They will look at you like "ya, blah, blah, blah, we've heard that before."

When my girls started getting too rambunctious, I used to make them run around our house (outside) a few times to get rid of some of that excess energy. They both turned out to be great athletes in school. Being that my DH & I are not athletic at all, I wonder if that helped. One still holds a track record at her high school (22 years!)

 

[janetupnorth]

When my girls started getting too rambunctious, I used to make them run around our house (outside) a few times to get rid of some of that excess energy.

He-he - I do that EXACT same thing!!!!

Or make them run to and from the mailbox, the garage, the swingset, etc.

Winter was torture when we couldn't do that!

 

[Kitchen Diva]

"I drive my Mom nuts from time to time on purpose- it's sort of fun...but I'd never touch her folded laundry- that's taboo!"

(Quote of Kitchen Diva..I don't know how to do a partial quote. )

See....the word DRIVE? They learn how to do that,.... drive the parent. And, they get pretty darn good at it.

If I do this, then______happens. Tweak or turn this behavior around to your advantage.

Also, if you are overwhelmed by their toys, chances are they are too. My DD
has a boy that will be 8 on Wed. A few years ago when she was overwhelmed by all the toys, she started to take 2/3 of them and put them away out of sight. That way, the mess couldn't get so big and he could actually SEE what he had to play with. When he seemed to be getting bored with them, she would rotate those to the closet and bring out different ones. He liked this. It was like a "Surprise" day. Name it something special like that so they think they are getting something.

Also, if you tell a kid something, like you're going to throw out something, the you better plan on following through on it or your word won't mean anything. They will look at you like "ya, blah, blah, blah, we've heard that before."

When my girls started getting too rambunctious, I used to make them run around our house (outside) a few times to get rid of some of that excess energy. They both turned out to be great athletes in school. Being that my DH & I are not athletic at all, I wonder if that helped. One still holds a track record at her high school (22 years!)

To just do a partial quote just delete which parts of the quote you don't want inbetween the two [/QUOTE] boxes...

And, I'm glad I could be some sort of inspiration for your post! LOL

My mother is my polar opposite- it's fun to make her a little crazy once in a while. Lord knows she does it to me often enough!

I agree with your post- good ideas!