Frustrated and Fooled: Dealing with Unfulfilled Expectations

[finley1991]

Warning: Reading may be hazardous to your attitude.

One of my consultants who I had an issue with at conference with her being rude to the other consultant on my team who went (the racial issue I posted about after conference) has decided NOT to have contact with me. I found this out after calling her every week for a few weeks and finally sending her an e-mail asking what was up. She responded that she's just not into PC anymore partly because she's not the #1 consultant on our team anymore (well, she WOULD BE if she WORKED!) and that she's just not into it and just doesn't feel like responding to me.

I've worked my hiney off helping out this woman for too many years... pumping her up when she's down, working with her recruits when she's blown them off, etc. And in the end, I realize that I am so mad at myself (more than anything else) for listening to the endless excuses of why she can do everything in her life BUT PC and that she NEEDS me to believe in her so she can believe in herself. (GAG.)

I feel like such a fool. And I know that this is a blessing... but for now, I'm just p#*$&(!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay... vent over... if it weren't 40F and raining I would go for a run to burn some of this off. And the furnace is only half installed so no heat tonight. At least this frustration is keeping me warm!

Okay.... now the vent is REALLY over!!!!!!

 

[Chef Kearns]

{{{HUGS}}}

release it now, honey!

 

[dannyzmom]

Bless and release, baybee!!
(and then have a glass of wine)

 

[amy07]

be appreciative that she finally told you what she wants. Now you can walk away and know that you tried all you could do.

In her defense though, don't we all want recognition/validation for a job well done from our Directors. (not saying that you didn't, but maybe she's the type who needs a little more "attaboys") As for her recruits, don't forget that you are in fact their Director/Trainer too. I know you are frustrated right now, so please don't take this as an attack. there is no reason for you to feel foolish about trying to work with others.

breathe deeply.

 

[imported_iteachurkid]

{{{HUGS}}}}

It's so irritating when we know what someone can do and they don't. Bless and release and spend your time on someone who wants it

 

[jwpamp]

Don't walk, RUN!

Know that she has some issues and someday she may regain some sense of intelligence....

 

[pamperedlinda]

Sounds like she wans you to fawn all over her. I'd probably email back and tell her you will miss her on the team and wish her the best of luck with everything else.

 

[BethCooks4U]

Sounds like she wans you to fawn all over her. I'd probably email back and tell her you will miss her on the team and wish her the best of luck with everything else.

So true! Good assessment Linda!

As everyone else said, now you know and it'll be easier to bless and release. You can now work directly with her recruits without her in the middle!

 

[finley1991]

Thanks Everyone! I am better this morning but darn cold! Can't wait until they come back and finish the furnace!Amy, you brought up a valid point. With this woman, Linda hit it right on. She wants everyone to fawn all over her. And I have a little bit of a feeling that that's what she's looking for right now. She had admitted to me that she can and will burst into tears at a moment's notice because she gets more attention and sympathy that way. And a lot of times, I did give her more kudos and attention that she earned, because she "needed" it and I bought into it.As far as being her recruit's director, I have trained them just as if they were my personal (as I do any consultant on my team) as best as I could because that is my job and I came from a director who didn't do anything for consultants! When I made the comment about working with her recruits when she blew them off, I should have been more clear... she didn't want me working with them or contacting them and she encouraged them NOT to come to our team trainings because she wanted to train them herself, much to my efforts to let me work with her on it. She wanted them to see her as their *future* director. The problem we ran into was when she said she would do something (call them, meet with them, etc), she didn't it and then they would come to me for answers and then she felt stepped on. It was a bad cycle all around. (And one I've learned from as well!) And no, I didn't feel attacked Amy! You brought up some really valid points!So with the new sunny morning here I have much more clarity and will take Janice's advice and not walk, RUN!!!! Thanks for reading and the encouragement! I'm off to get ready for a great show tonight and to make a follow-up recruiting call to see if she's made a decision!!!!

 

[Mel5497]

I'd probably email back and tell her you will miss her on the team and wish her the best of luck with everything else.

I love this. Please share what happens. You definitely don't need her toxic behavior.