Flatulence Accountability: A Hilarious Parody Thread

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Flatulence? That would be like I didn't have a place you live, but you had an empty flat you let me live in. That would be the flat you lents me.

(This parody thread will be a gas.)

 

[AJPratt]

My husband lives there.

 

[micocina]

My husband is a definite tenant there.

 

[sarahlegare]

Mine is lookin' like he belongs with yours!!:grumpy:

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

This is a gas thread.The "dump" on your husband thread is down the hall ------>

 

[sfdavis918]

This is a gas thread.

The "dump" on your husband thread is down the hall ------>

OK then, I must admit, I had a really good burritto that is now rearing it's ugly head again. (The pun wasn't originally intended, but I like it!)

TMI, I know!!!

 

[chefruthie]

What a toot! I mean hoot!

 

[chefann]

Beaker: pbbbht. What's that stinky smell?

 

[raebates]

Things upon which we blame the random sounds and smells that occur at our house:barking spiders
groundhogs
the dog (we don't have one)

 

[etteluap70PC]

in our house those sounds etc.... are blamed on invisible ducks....





Side note.... wonder how long it will take for this meaningless thread to get shutdown ofr no good reason....
Ok I admit that was spiteful..... oh well......


Thanks for the comic "relief" KG!

 

[chefkristin]

We have running elephants in our house-LOL!!!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

...and, the elephants step on the ducks?

 

[chefann]

Yes, they do. That happens a lot in our house.

 

[katie0128]

In our house, my 8yo blames all strange smells and sounds on his 18 mo sister. He used to blame stuff on the 3yo brother, but now that Nate can say, "I didn't do it", Kyle found a new scapegoat. And if the sister isn't around, then it is the cats' fault.

 

[chefann]

Just wait until he's old enough to be PROUD of them! DH still hasn't grown out of that phase. :yuck:

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Are you complaining?Or bragging?

 

[chefann]

I'm complaining. He's bragging.

 

[fikibiff]

My grampa always said "It was a buck snortin' in the woods". Of course, we never lived by the woods.

 

[baychef]

Observations of this thread:
1.) How quickly we can return to being a kid again when it comes to this normal (or abnormal for some of us...ELEPHANTS? Dang what are you feeding your family?LOL!!!)

2.) I really must do more abdominal exercises because my stomach hurts a lot from laughing too much!!

We live near the St. Lawrence River and there are ocean going ships and lakers. Even when the seaway is closed, we can still hear the ships horns for some reason!!! And then when the seaway is open and it is foggy out the ships give many frequent low horn blows. So even if no one has gas, everyone gets blamed. Yes, even the cat.

I will never forget the time when my nephews brought my son a gift back from Myrtle Beach. It was a windbreaker. We were at their house and his Dad was not with us (back in the day when we were still together). So we set it up that my son would tell his Dad that he got a new windbreaker from his aunt and cousins but he was going to go in his room to put it on. He was about 6 or 7 at the time and was so proud to run out of his room and use his windbreaker...not the coat, the cup with a slimy silly putty substance, that when pushed in the cup makes the most realistic sounds!!! It was all the fun of the real thing without the annoying smells!!:yuck:

 

[chefann]

There's a funny story from my DH's college days in the Hijacking thread. Search on onion dip....:yuck:

 

[baychef]

There's a funny story from my DH's college days in the Hijacking thread. Search on onion dip....

:yuck:

He could have contacted a culinary person so easily to find out this scientif-ICK ratio. Let's see...being a man, I bet that was the only fun way to figure out the answer.
I just knew there was a reason stay away from eating too many chips and dip!!:balloon:

 

[chefann]

His standard response to the TV when a commercial asks, "Painful gas?" is, "Actually, it's kinda fun."

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Observations of this thread:
1.) How quickly we can return to being a kid again when it comes to this normal (or abnormal for some of us...ELEPHANTS? Dang what are you feeding your family?LOL!!!)

2.) I really must do more abdominal exercises because my stomach hurts a lot from laughing too much!!

We live near the St. Lawrence River and there are ocean going ships and lakers. Even when the seaway is closed, we can still hear the ships horns for some reason!!! And then when the seaway is open and it is foggy out the ships give many frequent low horn blows. So even if no one has gas, everyone gets blamed. Yes, even the cat.

I will never forget the time when my nephews brought my son a gift back from Myrtle Beach. It was a windbreaker. We were at their house and his Dad was not with us (back in the day when we were still together). So we set it up that my son would tell his Dad that he got a new windbreaker from his aunt and cousins but he was going to go in his room to put it on. He was about 6 or 7 at the time and was so proud to run out of his room and use his windbreaker...not the coat, the cup with a slimy silly putty substance, that when pushed in the cup makes the most realistic sounds!!! It was all the fun of the real thing without the annoying smells!!:yuck:

Leslie Nielsen, the actor who did drama before he found out comedy was much more fun, has a little machine like that. he keeps it in his pocket for use at the most inopportune times - in the elevator with dignitary, on the set when a director is trying to set up a scene, on on the air when doing radio interviews.

 

[chefkristin]

Yes my son also blames it on the cat when our elephants are on vacation!

 

[baychef]

Leslie Nielsen, the actor who did drama before he found out comedy was much more fun, has a little machine like that. he keeps it in his pocket for use at the most inopportune times - in the elevator with dignitary, on the set when a director is trying to set up a scene, on on the air when doing radio interviews.

My brother has an antique commode that looks more like a nice table/cabinet combo. He has his machine in it and will ask someone to look at the table and without opening the door, guess what it used for in years past. As the person is looking closely at it, he has his remote control and waits for the right moments to make the fart noise. He waits for reactions and then after a few minutes, he really lays on the remote. He then has them open the doors and there is the old (clean) commode inside the cabinet.

He loves to use that machine especially when the nephews come over! Or to tease his dogs!

 

[baychef]

Yes my son also blames it on the cat when our elephants are on vacation!

Must be the elephants are on vacation when the squeekers come out!!!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

My brother has an antique commode that looks more like a nice table/cabinet combo. He has his machine in it and will ask someone to look at the table and without opening the door, guess what it used for in years past. As the person is looking closely at it, he has his remote control and waits for the right moments to make the fart noise. He waits for reactions and then after a few minutes, he really lays on the remote. He then has them open the doors and there is the old (clean) commode inside the cabinet.

He loves to use that machine especially when the nephews come over! Or to tease his dogs!

It seems appropriate that the Commode-Door is the guy in charge of everything on the water.