Did my daughter's friend use her to get into our neighborhood pool?

[ChefLisa]

My daughter has a friend who began renting a house in our neighborhood. The family does not have a pool key yet.

Last night I was away at a Tastefully Simple party. My hubby decided to take the kids to the pool. My daughter was about to call her friend to invite her to go with them. However, before she was able to call her, the friend called my daughter first. She asked if we could help get them into the pool. My daughter told her that is not a problem since the family was going up. The friend said something to the effect of "good, we want to get away from the house." My daughter assumed the friend's family would meet them at the pool.

By the time my family got there, there was my daughter's friend with a bunch of other kids, several who are also my daughter's friends. Her parents were not with her. I personally would have told her they were not going in without one of her parents, but my husband was being nice and kept and eye on them. My daughter's feelings were rightfully hurt because her 'friend' was having a party, did not invite her, but used her to get into the pool. Quite deceptive!!!

I was ready to call the girl's mom this morning because I suspect she told her mom quite a lie to make this work for her. However, instead I had my daughter call her friend. Her friend had the nerve to tell my daughter she did not mean to use her, she just did not think my daughter would enjoy hanging with the crowd that evening.

Can you believe the nerve? UGH - I really am still mad, but I am trying very hard to stay out of it. However, since my daughter called her on it, I suspect she will not be asking us to get her into the pool again. If she does, she will get an ear full from me.

 

[PCJenni]

sounds like teenage girls in full effect!

 

[PampMomof3]

I'm sorry Lisa and yes it does sound like teenagers. But, you need to nip that in the bud and QUICK!

 

[ChefLisa]

I'm sorry Lisa and yes it does sound like teenagers. But, you need to nip that in the bud and QUICK!

Thank goodness my daughter is not like that at all! She would never to that to a friend or even someone who she does not like that much.

 

[MORFIA]

now as an outsider-I might read it this-way---the crowd was a BAD crowd and your daughter is not invited out of respect that she is a good kid---maybe its the drinking crew- and or drugers---as a teen many times I would walk out of those kind of gatherings-so i would not get invited back--for fear i would be uncomfortable or rat them out--
take it for what its worth---could have been a respect issue-kudos to your daughter for calling her out-some adults aren't that brave--sounds like you are raising a LEADER-

 

[pamperedlinda]

she doesn't sound like too much a friend to me.

 

[ChefLisa]

now as an outsider-I might read it this-way---the crowd was a BAD crowd and your daughter is not invited out of respect that she is a good kid---maybe its the drinking crew- and or drugers---as a teen many times I would walk out of those kind of gatherings-so i would not get invited back--for fear i would be uncomfortable or rat them out--
take it for what its worth---could have been a respect issue

-kudos to your daughter for calling her out-some adults aren't that brave--sounds like you are raising a LEADER-

You are so great for giving them credit they were doing a good thing. However, I actually know most of these kids and they are not into drugs and alchohol yet. They are 13 and 14. The mom was at the house with the kids. The one holding the gathering can just turn on a friend, and I just do not understand why.

Thank you for the nice compliments. My daughter definitely was not always that brave. I am very proud of her!

Now this week, my girl is at music camp at the University of Georgia. She is there for vocals. I know she is going to have a great time. She is there with four other friends, three guys and one girl. They are really great kids!

 

[finley1991]

The one holding the gathering can just turn on a friend, and I just do not understand why.

Low self-esteem, insecurity, abuse of some sort? The list could be endless but in the end all that matters is how your daughter conducts herself. And from what you've said, she does a great job! (And that great job reflects on you too!)