We're Considering a Life Change---

[Kitchen Diva]

Hey y'all (I'm practicing for when I move to the Suoth)

Being that DH and I are unemployed- I got to thinking about jobs and careers and what do I really want to do with my life. My #1 passion is FOOD- so culinary school is a must for me in my very near future. I was accepted to a top culinary school last year but because of family reasons, I had to move my start date. After having to move it 4 times, I felt it just wasn't the right time to attend Culinary School, so I put it on hold.

As I was sitting at my desk earlier this week I started writing down other things that interested me. I've always been interested in helping troubled teens and kids, and with the event of learning that my 4 year old niece was molested by her dad- I added sexually abused kids to my list.

DH sent me two emails the other day inquiring as to my level of interest in packing EVERYTHING up- selling most of what we have, taking a 50% pay cut (well 50% less of what we were making when he was employed, it would be more like a 65% paycut if we included any of my income) and moving to either Texas, or NC (where these two positions were) to be "house-parents" for troubled kids and teens. These positions are essentially minister positions- we would be not only these childrens "parents" but their spiritual mentors as well...

They provide either an apartment or a room in the home- they pay you a fairly decent salary, and all utilities are covered. We wouldn't have a mortgage and we could sell one of our vehicles, and just have my car and the Goldwing. I told him that it was funny that he sent those emails to me because I had been drawn to the same thing- working with teens/trouble kids...

Has anyone out there ever done this, or known of someone who has? What did you like about it? What didn't you like?

Taking a job like this would be an amazing LIFE change- I think it would be good for us, and both my husband and I have a heart for troubled kids. I'm not sure if we even qualify- but it's been on my mind, and it would be one way to get us to NC! By the way, where is Falcon, NC and is it nice there?

I'm not too fond of Texas (mainly because of their freakishly LARGE bugs) and no water to cool you when you get hot unless you have a pool- but that one looked like the better of the two.

I was just wondering if you guys had the chance to start over what would you do, and would you be willing to sell almost everything you had, take a big paycut and do what DH and I are considering?

I was just curious on your thoughts and experiences and wondering what would you do if given a chance to start over?



TIA

 

[janetupnorth]

Well, Kacey - my friends who are now on staff at Fort, SERIOUSLY considered going to Rawhide and were in the process of that before coming to Fort....and on the pay cut...well, my DH has not made over $21K in the last 10 years since his pay is missionary support (by the way he works 40-80 hours a week depending on the season). I moved up north to make half of what I used to in an engineering job (and that was half of a recent college grad salary...)So to the answer of would I take a paycut and move to do something like that - OF COURSE! Life isn't about money..."Be content with WHAT YOU HAVE, because God had said, Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you."Will life be grand, not in the least bit...and I can guarantee you will have a whole new set of trials! But with those trials will come many blessings.I am trying to finish some last minute things to get out of work...I'm already 40 minutes past time so I'll check in later but that's the start of my thoughts...

 

[janetupnorth]

Oh, let me add, you need to really go into the process with a clear plan financially...there are ALWAYS emergencies...

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Well the income would be enough to keep us in the same financial state we are in now because of the fact that there will NOT be a 1st or 2nd mortgage! And there won't be $200-$400 per month in utility bills- so we actually wouldn't be that bad off. It would just be less than we are used to. The salary is about 3/4th of what DH is used to making at one job-

And he still has his military retirement to fall back on should there be emergencies. But it sounds like they take care of all the landlord type house up keep like if the fridge breaks- they fix or replace it.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

If I had a chance to start fresh, to start all over again, I would be a multi-millionaire playboy.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

If I had a chance to start fresh, to start all over again, I would be a multi-millionaire playboy.

Awww, that's touching.

 

[chefann]

KG- I thought you wanted to be a boy toy to some wealthy heiress.

 

[pamperedlinda]

If I had a chance to start fresh, to start all over again, I would be a multi-millionaire playboy.

Maybe have your own realiy show and a bunch of fake girlfriends? LOL!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

KG- I thought you wanted to be a boy toy to some wealthy heiress.

I was so disappointed to find out that you're not a wealthy heiress and you're married anyway.

Besides, I've already been married to an unwealthy airheadess.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Maybe have your own reality show and a bunch of fake girlfriends? LOL!

[shrug] Why? I've already got CS. [/shrug]

 

[pamperedlinda]

[shrug] Why? I've already got Chef Success. [/shrug]

Yeah, but you can't sleep with us!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

That's why I do my morning updates while most of you have retired.

 

[BethCooks4U]

WOW! I envy you the opportunity to even consider such a change! I would do it in a heartbeat if I were in a different place in my life. You could do so much to infuence those young people.

Falcon NC is 1 1/2 hours from me. Pretty much due south of Raleigh NC.

 

[chefmeg]

Kasey, I think I had told you that I lived in NC for several years, 13 years ago! It is a great place (as is Virginia) because you are a few hours from the beach and afew hours from the mountains. I think that you already know the answer to your question for you & DH.....let me know when you get to Falcon! It is only a few hours from me!

 

[janetupnorth]

I'm trying to figure out if KG called this a reality show or us fake?!?!?!I think it's more like a bad soap opera combined with clips of Last Comic Standing. I get really disturbed when Burt Reynolds shows up on the scene though...

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

I'm considering a nose job. What do you think of this look?

 

[chefmeg]

eeeeewwwww Burt Reynolds! I never saw the fascination with him! Didn't we talk about this in another thread a while back???

 

[janetupnorth]

I'm considering a nose job. What do you think of this look?

Fine, as long as the clothes stay on and the bearskin rug does NOT come back out...

Ewww......... :yuck: :yuck: :yuck: :yuck:

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Well, you KNOW what that means!http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v171/lugnuts/weird_stuff/Cosmo1BurtReynolds.jpg

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Well, you KNOW what that means!

 

[janetupnorth]

You HAD to bring that out, didn't you...

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

I never would have, but NOOOOOOOOOOOO, you had to go and throw down the gauntlet. Poor Kacey.

 

[merego]

Hey y'all (I'm practicing for when I move to the Suoth)

Being that DH and I are unemployed- I got to thinking about jobs and careers and what do I really want to do with my life. My #1 passion is FOOD- so culinary school is a must for me in my very near future. I was accepted to a top culinary school last year but because of family reasons, I had to move my start date. After having to move it 4 times, I felt it just wasn't the right time to attend Culinary School, so I put it on hold.

As I was sitting at my desk earlier this week I started writing down other things that interested me. I've always been interested in helping troubled teens and kids, and with the event of learning that my 4 year old niece was molested by her dad- I added sexually abused kids to my list.

DH sent me two emails the other day inquiring as to my level of interest in packing EVERYTHING up- selling most of what we have, taking a 50% pay cut (well 50% less of what we were making when he was employed, it would be more like a 65% paycut if we included any of my income) and moving to either Texas, or NC (where these two positions were) to be "house-parents" for troubled kids and teens. These positions are essentially minister positions- we would be not only these childrens "parents" but their spiritual mentors as well...

They provide either an apartment or a room in the home- they pay you a fairly decent salary, and all utilities are covered. We wouldn't have a mortgage and we could sell one of our vehicles, and just have my car and the Goldwing. I told him that it was funny that he sent those emails to me because I had been drawn to the same thing- working with teens/trouble kids...

Has anyone out there ever done this, or known of someone who has? What did you like about it? What didn't you like?

Taking a job like this would be an amazing LIFE change- I think it would be good for us, and both my husband and I have a heart for troubled kids. I'm not sure if we even qualify- but it's been on my mind, and it would be one way to get us to NC! By the way, where is Falcon, NC and is it nice there?

I'm not too fond of Texas (mainly because of their freakishly LARGE bugs) and no water to cool you when you get hot unless you have a pool- but that one looked like the better of the two.

I was just wondering if you guys had the chance to start over what would you do, and would you be willing to sell almost everything you had, take a big paycut and do what DH and I are considering?

I was just curious on your thoughts and experiences and wondering what would you do if given a chance to start over?



TIA

I lived in Austin for 1 year and Dallas for 3 years and I miss it so much. I was so bummed when I was relocated back to Cincy. I LOVE TEXAS , what part of Texas would it be? If my ex husband didn't live there my husband said he would mind moving there, but unless my ex moves, we wont be going to Texas anytime soon to live.
As far as house parents, I have a friend who did it and had a good experience with it.
I wish you the best of luck in making the decision that is best for you and your family.
I still say consider comedy

 

[pamperedlinda]

Well, you KNOW what that means!

excuse me.....there is MORE to this picture....shall I post it for you or keep it all to myself?

 

[pamperedlinda]

Now, back to the serious matter at hand.

My brother had drug induced 'issues' several years ago and had to go to a live-in rehab farm type place. It was awesome! My grandparents are (well, were, my Pop died several years ago) farmers and my grandmother (at 91) still lives on the family farm. There is a lot of acreage, and my family seriously considered turning it into a drug rehab/working farm again. I was all for this idea as I thought it would be a way to not only give back to the community and also give those who have made bad life choices another chance, but also (a bit selfishly) it woud allow my grandmother to live out the rest of her life in her home. My uncle poo-poo-ed the idea so it didn't happen.

Personally, I think it would be very rewarding. It would be hard and quite trying at times, but in the end it would be rewarding to know that YOU were strategic in changing someone's life. That YOU were able to give them back their life, and family, and reason for being.

Go for it!

 

[KellyTheChef]

Here comes my reply BEFORE I read the other responses...so I can pray that God gives me the right words that you need to hear without other's responses to cloud what comes into my mind:

Here are some things that come to mind: (after prayer)

Getting paid to do WHAT YOU LOVE is the best way to live!

Isn't rent/mortgage/utilities about 50% (or more) of most people's salary's nowadays? Look at your actual EXPENSES and compare them to your salary from before and from this new possibility

Sounds like God has been speaking to BOTH of your hearts at the same time...that's usually a very good sign!

Once you get there and get settled, could you add some income doing PC? That could be your "play money" and "savings money"...

This could get you to NC, which is where you want to be....


OK, that's all that is coming to my mind. I pray that God directs both you and DH to take the road that He has planned for you...

Love,
Kelly

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

excuse me.....there is MORE to this picture....shall I post it for you or keep it all to myself?

I have it.

I was just trying to keep everything in good taste.

Although, maybe we're past that point, anyway.

 

[pamperedlinda]

We're always passed that point!

 

[susanr613]

I echo what Kelly wrote. Seems to me that G-d has cleared the path for you in many ways - no big time job to leave, no kids to uproot. So...walk down the path!

Plus, it takes very special people to work with troubled kids, and the impact is immense. From reading your posts, I can tell that you will be a Godsend to whomever you take under your wing.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Moooooommmmmmm- they hijacked my threadOkay, I don't mind my thread being hijacked- but hijacked and being FORCED to see a neked Burt Reynolds is more than my pure little eyes can handle!

Kelly, Meg, Janet, Beth, Linda, thanks for all the advice and info- I appreciate that very much...DH and I had a great conversation in the car on the way home from seeing Prince Caspian (which I HIGHLY recommend you go and see) and I told him that I really think we should look into this.

We are being given a remarkable chance to start fresh- to go back towards the basics. I have always had a soft heart for the underdog and for those that could not fight themselves or for themselves. I have quit numerous jobs in my not so recent past because God placed me in situations where a wrong was being done, and in my bringing right and "justice" to the situation I would be persecuted or worse... After seeing Prince Caspian tonight I knew I wanted to fight the good fight- and I believe working with troubled children is a good fight- and who better to stand up for them, than someone who has had one tragic situation after another since being 23 months old? And who better than DH, who comes from a severely abusive childhood after his father was tragically killed in a car accident when DH was 10 years old?

This is more than just a life change this is a chance for us to take a completely different direction- to bring encouragement and love and guidance into chaotic and painful little lives.

As long as we can take the pets with- I'm there... And if they give us a horsie- I'll be there by next week.

The positions in Texas were in Lubbock and Amarillo- The other one was in Falcon, NC. My grandmother was from Texas- I've been there several times and I just don't know if I can handle all those huge, freaky bugs- but I'm willing to try...however my heart is on the East Coast- so I'll keep you informed!

Thanks for listening to me and for coming along on my ride- you all might wanna fasten your seatbelts

 

[Kitchen Diva]

And as much as I love NC more than Texas- the one in NC only offers us a room within a group home, so there would be no space for our two large dogs or our kitty... the one in Texas offers us our own home...I know these aren't the only jobs like that out there- but off the bat having our pets is important to us. Besides, they love kids! My niece was playing "doctor" with both of them again today- and they just lay there and let her take their temp, bandage them, check their heart, take their blood pressure...it's too funny!

 

[Kitchen Diva]

I echo what Kelly wrote. Seems to me that G-d has cleared the path for you in many ways - no big time job to leave, no kids to uproot. So...walk down the path!

Plus, it takes very special people to work with troubled kids, and the impact is immense. From reading your posts, I can tell that you will be a Godsend to whomever you take under your wing.

That seriously made me cry! I'm touched and even humbled by that (and that's saying something- LOL, DH says I'm a little too confident and could use a shot of humility)

Thank you, Susan!

 

[crystalscookingnow]

I think that God is opening an amazing window for you. Pray & listen for His guidance!

God Bless you for even thinking about taking this leap of faith. Most would tuck tail & run from the thought of change.

Hugs!

 

[Kitchen Diva]

I think that God is opening an amazing window for you. Pray & listen for His guidance!

God Bless you for even thinking about taking this leap of faith. Most would tuck tail & run from the thought of change.
Hugs!

I actually hunt for change! LOL I'm like Elmer Fudd I'm wookin' fer chwange" hee-hee

I think this is an open door too- I'm going to pray on this more and let you know as things arise...

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

I actually hunt for change!

Here ya go...

 

[Kitchen Diva]

I swear if I didn't know any better, KG- I'd say you were my grandfather's brother! You are such a stinker- but I love ya!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

If I am, I suspect my brother will be far more surprised than anyone.So will my niece. Or nephew.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

If I am, I suspect my brother will be far more surprised than anyone.

So will my niece. Or nephew.

Well even the best of us have surprises in our closets. Or in the case of our dear friend Burt, his surprise was cut off with your excellent cropping skills!

You just remind me of my grandfather in many ways. No- I'm not saying I think you are 86 years old. But you are sassy, sarcastic, clever and trouble! All endearing qualities of my grandfather!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

You forgot "curmudgeon."

 

[Kitchen Diva]

You forgot "curmudgeon."

Nah, my grandpa is just a grouch... he used to be anyway- he's softened up quite a bit so there's still hope for you! (teasing)

 

[PamperedTre]

I think it is unwise to stay where you are for fear of leaving your comfort zone.

Follow your heART.

<3

 

[vwpamperedchef]

Kacey...

I didnt get to read all the other replies, but for you and DH you have to go where your heart tells you.

Right now, neither of you are tied to a job (unfortunately) but I truely believe "everything happens for a reason".

It takes a good soul to consider doing what you'd be doing, and I am sure the outcome is very rewarding. But that doesnt mean your task is an easy one. I am sure it is very difficult to deal with.

I will keep you in my prayers, as always, for God to help both of you in your decision making process.

I hope you will be able to start fresh...and get back on your feet again!

Love Vanessa

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

There is a difference between a curmudgeon and a grouch. A grouch is just PO'ed at the world. A curmudgeon points out the absurdities of life and, if you pay attention to him/her, you might be able to fix something you didn't even know was broken.

A guy named Jon Winokur posted this definition of a curmudgeon on a web page and I think he has it down pretty well:

A curmudgeon's reputation for malevolence is undeserved. They're neither warped nor evil at heart. They don't hate mankind, just mankind's absurdities. They're just as sensitive and soft-hearted as the next guy, but they hide their vulnerability beneath a crust of misanthropy. They ease the pain by turning hurt into humor. . . . . . They attack maudlinism[sic] because it devalues genuine sentiment. . . . . . Nature, having failed to equip them with a servicable[sic] denial mechanism, has endowed them with astute perception and sly wit.

Curmudgeons are mockers and debunkers whose bitterness is a symptom rather than a disease. They can't compromise their standards and can't manage the suspension of disbelief necessary for feigned cheerfulness. Their awareness is a curse.

Perhaps curmudgeons have gotten a bad rap in the same way that the messenger is blamed for the message: They have the temerity to comment on the human condition without apology. They not only refuse to applaud mediocrity, they howl it down with morose glee. Their versions of the truth unsettle us, and we hold it against them, even though they soften it with humor.

You can see the original page here: http://www.concentric.net/~marlowe/curdef.shtml

Two of the best examples ever of curmudgeons were named Statler and Waldorf, the old men in the box seat of the Muppet Theater in the old The Muppet Show.

 

[janetupnorth]

Oh, those two were among my FAVORITE muppets!!!!

 

[ChefBeckyD]

There is a difference between a curmudgeon and a grouch. A grouch is just PO'ed at the world. A curmudgeon points out the absurdities of life and, if you pay attention to him/her, you might be able to fix something you didn't even know was broken.

A guy named Jon Winokur posted this definition of a curmudgeon on a web page and I think he has it down pretty well:



You can see the original page here: http://www.concentric.net/~marlowe/curdef.shtml

Two of the best examples ever of curmudgeons were named Statler and Waldorf, the old men in the box seat of the Muppet Theater in the old The Muppet Show.

You know, based on that definition, give me a few years, and I could become a curmudgeon....

I actually LIKE that description.

 

[BethCooks4U]

Kasey, I don't know where in TX those towns are (and I know that TX is huge) but if they are anywhere near Houston or Waco I have some great director friends that I could connect you with - My TX team is in Houston and their hospitality director is awesome! My director (Exec Dir) lives in Waco and she is SUPER awesome!

It's so awesome that you not only have exciting opportunities but that you also have choices! You are blessed!

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Kasey, I don't know where in TX those towns are (and I know that TX is huge) but if they are anywhere near Houston or Waco I have some great director friends that I could connect you with - My TX team is in Houston and their hospitality director is awesome! My director (Exec Dir) lives in Waco and she is SUPER awesome!

It's so awesome that you not only have exciting opportunities but that you also have choices! You are blessed!

Thanks for the director info. Amarillo is in the pan handle, and Lubbock is directly south about 100+ miles. No where near the exciting parts of the state, that's for sure.

I remember driving through the pan handle of Texas as a child on the way to New Mexico to visit my grandparents- I remember tumble weeds and oil wells, that's it! OH, and dirt. I pray it's changed a little- like maybe a tree or two.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Maybe Utah would give up their tree from the Great Salt Desert for the Texas Panhandle?http://www.utah.com/art/photos/utah_tree.jpg

 

[raebates]

Keeping in mind the excellent definition posted here, I'd have to say that KG is my favorite curmudgeon. Statler and Waldorf would tie for a close second.

 

[CookingwithMary]

This would be a huge change, something you need to really need God's wisom and blessings about.

Some random thoughts...not in any special order:

Who pays moving costs? Any assistance there?

Will you both have medical insurance? Dental? These days, that would be a huge part of my evaluation of a new life style.

Also, dealing with the emotionally disturbed is very draining, emotionally (and sometimes physically--the mind/body connection). :cry: Speaking from over a decade of experience working with the mentally ill...the rewards can be VAST.

Have you raised children? (Don't know your background).

Are there trained professionals available 24/7 for help?

Read the job description with a fine toothed comb (I know you will). Also, if the job does not work out, for any reason, how long do you have to move from the apt? I'd choose the apartment to have a place of our own. YMMV (Your mileage may vary).

From your posts, I like your style and asking God to guide your choice.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

This would be a huge change, something you need to really need God's wisom and blessings about.

Some random thoughts...not in any special order:

Who pays moving costs? Any assistance there?

Will you both have medical insurance? Dental? These days, that would be a huge part of my evaluation of a new life style.

Also, dealing with the emotionally disturbed is very draining, emotionally (and sometimes physically--the mind/body connection). :cry: Speaking from over a decade of experience working with the mentally ill...the rewards can be VAST.

Have you raised children? (Don't know your background).

Are there trained professionals available 24/7 for help?

Read the job description with a fine toothed comb (I know you will). Also, if the job does not work out, for any reason, how long do you have to move from the apt? I'd choose the apartment to have a place of our own. YMMV (Your mileage may vary).

From your posts, I like your style and asking God to guide your choice.

The one we are seriously looking into provides extensive training and the house parents do not have to have children of their own. DH has two grown children, I helped raise one, and was a nanny and a teacher and worked for Lutheran Family Services helping families with mentally and physcially challenged kids. The place that we are looking into does not accept children with mental disabilities or physical ones.

Exceptional benefits including matched 401K- paid time off, long and short term disability and life and dental, and medical insurance are included.
They have transitional housing on site for those moving in and moving out. We are not sure about the moving costs- but having moved 4 times with the Air Force, we are pro's at doing it ourselves and having help from the Military. All of this has been taken into consideration- and if it was placed on our hearts then there is a reason...

They give us a 3 bedroom apartment attached to the large rambler/ranch style home. There are 2 bathrooms, a large eat-in kitchen and living room. I saw pictures. Very nice.

On a more personal note, DH and I come from painful childhood experiences that make us qualified candidates to help,love and guide these children. And, yes- there is help available 24/7 should we need it. This ranch has been around since 1939- so I'm sure that they have things running like a well oiled ship.

Also, with DH and my management background we are trained in how to manage and organize a household

They said that they have house parents from all walks of life, and some of their best ones were couples that did not have children of their own. DH and I do not have children together, but I have raised other people's children, and DH raised 2 of his own. I'm not too concerned about this, as the children have very structured days- wake up, eat a good breakfast, wash up, go to school, eat lunch at school, come home, eat snack, do homework, eat dinner, do chores, clean up, go to bed... the ranch pretty much tells you when and for how long you are doing something- and down time is for us to decide what to do with the kids that are in our home. Movies, horserides, hair cuts, shopping, picnics, hikes...whatever!

This place has 6 days on and 3 days off- they are a self sustained city with a post office, police station, fire station, and their own zipcode! They are a little more selective in the type of child/teen they will accept into the program, and what they do allow is very mild in comparison to what I've dealt with. I think the worst would be an ADHD or ADD child- both of which I have experience with, as well as autism, and schizophrenia- They do not require that we have a degree or experience at all- they will train the right godly couple for the job- it just so happens that we do have experience and a very deep desire to have a ministry with hurting children.

Also- we get to bounce ideas and get guidance from the other house parents there- so we'll even have new friends on campus.

I know it will be different, but DH and I are prepared to give everything up that we have, and follow Christ if this is where He is leading us. It will be nice to be able to downsize a bit!

Those are all very good and valid points you brought up- thank you!

When I was working for LFS- the hardest thing on me was how physically demanding those children were, but they don't house those types of disabilites/behavioral problems here, so although it will still be more physical than sitting around here being unemployed- I belive through Christ I am up to the task of just about anything!