Vent Warning: Struggling with Husband & Kids Support

[jrny2001]

Vent Warning: Husband & Kids

My husband told me last night that he thinks my PC biz is a waste of time and money. That I have spent more on my products that I have made. That there is too much PC stuff around the house (kit/paperwork/suppiles).

He makes "comments" and then says he's "kidding". I'm having confidence problems as it is I really didn't need to add this on top of it all. I want to focus more on recruiting and building a team but how can I when there is no support at home.

It's not only him. My kids (old enough to know better) always seem to fight with each other when I'm on the phone with hosts, ccc's. I tell them all that I will be on the phone working so please keep it quiet. My husband thinks nothing of coming into the room when I'm on the phone with my director or another training call, turning on the tv.

I don't have "office space". I was using my bedroom during the winter months and am moving everything out to the 3 season porch now that it's getting warmer. I'm very frustrated :cry:

Thanks for letting me vent!

 

[leftymac]

Vent Warning: Husband & Kids

My husband told me last night that he thinks my PC biz is a waste of time and money. That I have spent more on my products that I have made. That there is too much PC stuff around the house (kit/paperwork/suppiles).

He makes "comments" and then says he's "kidding". I'm having confidence problems as it is I really didn't need to add this on top of it all. I want to focus more on recruiting and building a team but how can I when there is no support at home.

It's not only him. My kids (old enough to know better) always seem to fight with each other when I'm on the phone with hosts, ccc's. I tell them all that I will be on the phone working so please keep it quiet. My husband thinks nothing of coming into the room when I'm on the phone with my director or another training call, turning on the tv.

I don't have "office space". I was using my bedroom during the winter months and am moving everything out to the 3 season porch now that it's getting warmer. I'm very frustrated :cry:

Thanks for letting me vent!

Have you sat down with him and honestly and seriously told him how you feel? Have you seriously explained to him how important it is to you and why you started in the first place? If he says you've spent more than you've made and that's not true, print out an expense report from P3 and show him. The only thing you can do is communicate effectively with each other. If that doesn't work, well....that's a bigger picture issue I'd think. I remember when I was thinking of getting started my (former) partner would kind laugh and make me feel silly for thinking about it. But, after I started he saw how happier and more fulfilled I felt, and he actually said "You know I was wrong about this whole Pampered Chef thing -- I think it's a good thing for you."

 

[heat123]

I am sorry for your frustrations. My DH wasn't exactly the most supportive when I first started. Not until I started taking my family on vacations with my PC money did he come to realize this wasn't just a "hobby" or a waste of time. I still have to ask him to help me load or unload my stuff but he doesn't complain about it at least. He also does say I have too much PC stuff in my kitchen and to get rid of some stuff but he jokes about that I think.

As far as your kids. Can you make CC calls while they are at school or after bed?
I would sit down with my family and explain that you want to make this business work for you and can they please cooperate and help you!?!
But you can't do it without their support.

Good luck.

 

[Jenni]

(((hugs))) I can feel your frustration... My recruiter loaned my a audio CD that talks about getting started and leaving all your stuff in one spot to not stress out your family. Is there a time of the day you can set aside to make phone calls. I find if my house gets noisy (dogs & kids) I step out onto the back porch.

My husband doesn't make comments but but I am very aware he isn't convinced this will last very long. So I do understand. If you best show is over $1000. you already made back your kit money. Are you really spending more then you are making or is it PC dollars earning you all your new tools? I can't imagine that your spending more then you are making.

Would it help to sit down with your family and tell them what you need?

 

[lkprescott]

Sounds like you need to hold a family meeting and get everyone on board. What you're doing is starting a new business. There may be what looks like a loss in ANY new business... it's just the nature of the beast as you acquire office supplies and various products to do your demos affectively. This would happen if you were going into ANY business. The joy of PC is that the costs aren't nearly as much as many other businesses out there and you've got something already on your side - name recognition! I made my initial investment back within my first few shows. I had a loss for last year but I was only in it for 4 months of the year... the lovely thing though about such 'loss' is... it's a deduction on our taxes. So even though it looks like I'm behind, there's still a positive outlook. Before you hold your family meeting, think about the time you want, the space you need and how you feel it can be accomplished. Think about setting office hours (doesn't have to be every day but something scheduled to give you consistency and give them the clue that "Mommy/Wife's working"), find a quiet space for that office time and be consistent. If YOU take it seriously, THEY will too. Hopefully anyway... If DH really does have an issue with you doing this, then get to the bottom of it. He sound like he's taking a passive/aggressive approach to getting his point across which does nothing to get any point across... Tell him what your goals are, hear what his concerns are and address them...

 

[cookingwithlove]

It can be very hard when you are starting out and especially if you do not feel like you are getting the support from home. I agree with the other people on the site, however, from your husband's side...You starting this business is like him getting a second job. He has lost a part of you. My transition to pampered chef was difficult, but I have to admit that I have a very understanding husband. I took advantage of him. The house was a mess when he came home, dinner was not ready and I was constantly on the computer. I think it is essential the you set some specific hours for your job and specific hours that are non Pampered Chef. I make almost all of my calls after my kids go to bed (8 PM). I do not do anything PC related on Sundays. I always pick the house up before he gets home and I know make a week long dinner plan so I know what I am making that day. I also make sure we have "date" night every so often so we can reconnect. This can just be a nice dinner after the kids go to bed.

He may feel like you have abandoned him, especially if you stay home with the kids. You need to reassure him that you have not and everything will still run smoothly. I heard on a tape that they recommend your director coming over with her husband to talk to you and your husband. This way your husband can see it from a male/spouse point of view.

I hope this helps.

 

[wadesgirl]

My DH wasn't very supportive to begin with and he does still nag me when I leave products "all over the house" (just usually the kitchen). I started leaving my kit in my car at all times. It does help that I have an office at home. You really need to have a heart to heart with him. It does get better as you work your business but it sounds like they aren't helping you with that part. I've noticed that over the last year and a half, DH has been more supportive. When I only had one show in March, he asked me when my next show was because I seemed so happy to do the shows! Keep your head up and we are here for you.

 

[etteluap70PC]

my hubby also sees it as a waste. He does not see the point since I have not made any "progress" in 5 years. Ex: recruiting.

I have tried over the past year to focus my time better and do a better job of working my buis arround my family. Hubby appreciates this. He really hates it when I spend time goofing off here when I am supposed to be "Working" this is one area he was not wrong. I go thru spells where I goof off too much then it is crunch time to get work things done.

I agree have a heart to heart. Set some goals together. You may not like everything you hear but it will help both of you.

 

[jrny2001]

Thank you so much for the honest advice!

I am planning on having a meeting to go over some things with the family. I don't want to give this up but sometimes it's hard to go forward with the bad vibes around here.
I CAN do this and I WILL do this!