Vent: Is There Help Debbie Downer!

[baychef]

I just need to let this out. Let me start out by saying that I am having a pity party and I have had too much pity to drive home from the party so I need your help!

I think the biggest thing bothering me right now is that I FINALLY got team members to go with me to a Belinda Ellsworth workshop that is only 100 miles from me tomorrow. We were all excited... and then Mother Nature decided she wanted to go too. Within that 100 mile range we have 2 feet of snow forcasted, blowing snow and a wind chill advisory. I thought we could skirt by is since the forecast warning was only until 9 am on Sat. then they extended it to 3 pm. So I am VERY bummed. I know it is the best decision, but now I am hoping to be able to purchase merchandize with the money I have spent.

Then yesterday I was on a call with Amy Neal about how to help our team members become Senior Directors. One of the recommendations was to get all of your team's leads and call them for the consultant then agree to have all three of you meet and/or talk. The call was about 40 minutes and I was trying to keep upbeat but felt like more had been put on my shoulders. Then my creeping doubt came into the back of my mind of...more work...and MAYBE more money? I listened to a wonderful audio of Pat Pearson talking with Belinda Ellsworth and felt better. But once we decided not to go tomorrow, everything negative bubbled up again.

Anything else I am writing is negative so I will stop now.

 

[Koolotus]

Deep breath Ann.
Bummer about Belinda. Personally I find her down right frightening.Good ideas, but scary. As for the Talk with Amy Neal (love her!) Is that what YOU want? Are you looking to build a big team. Do you feel like your team needs that kind of help. It is a suggestion. If you can manage it...Cool. If not it's ok. Train like you usually do and take it as it comes ((hugs))

 

[chefkathy]

Personally I find her down right frightening.Good ideas, but scary.

ROFLMAO!!!!

At Leadership, I kept wishing she would stop screaming!

p.s. How was Coyote Ugly??

 

[pamperedlinda]

.......One of the recommendations was to get all of your team's leads and call them for the consultant then agree to have all three of you meet and/or talk. ......

Are you serious?????

 

[chefkathy]

yes, this is how Amy Neal was very successful in PC. A workshop at Leadership taught the same thing. Our newer consultants get the leads and we help them sign them. I think it's marvelous.

 

[pamperedlinda]

I can understand meeting with them together - but to call them out of the blue?

 

[Gagescorpages]

I am not a fan of calling them out of the blue.
That would have sent me running the other way.

 

[pamperedlinda]

I am not a fan of calling them out of the blue.
That would have sent me running the other way.

Absolutely! Reminds me of some other DS companies...:yuck:

 

[Gagescorpages]

Absolutely! Reminds me of some other DS companies...:yuck:

Exactly. And that is exactly what I NEVER want to be!! :yuck:

 

[chefkathy]

No, it's not calling out of the blue. You coach your consultants to say "My friend Deb helped me get started. Is it okay if she calls you...."

 

[pamperedlinda]

No, it's not calling out of the blue. You coach your consultants to say "My friend Deb helped me get started. Is it okay if she calls you...."

Okay then - I can do that! I didn't understand that part in Ann's post.

 

[finley1991]

If it works, it's tough to dispute.I was listening to an old Leadership CD with NJR and her workshop was Build Deep, Build Wide. One of the things that they said in the workshop (I love this) was when coaching new consultants to say, "If you were opening a store, name 5 people you would hire to work with you." LOVED THAT!PS: The Belinda comment cracked me up too! She's definitely a lot to take if you don't know what to expect. Must be because she's from MI!

 

[Gagescorpages]

No, it's not calling out of the blue. You coach your consultants to say "My friend Deb helped me get started. Is it okay if she calls you...."

Ohhhhh....now that makes more sense! I could handle that!

 

[Koolotus]

Honestly I have taken Amy Neals advice to heart. I train all my consultants that way. I have had plenty of really nice comfortable conversations with their leads...signed a couple too
That being said it really is approach that you have to commit to. I take care of my team as good as or better than my own personal business. They know that and respect me for it. I love it, takes all the fear out of recruiting and builds trust and a good relationship with your team. I stand by what I said before, Ann. If you feel like it is too much for you right know. Skip it. Maybe give them the opportunity # to hand out and do an opportunity event for 1/2 hour before your regular team meeting every month. That way you are helping but not adding a ton more work

Belinda. More than once I hid behind my notebook. enough said!

Coyote Ugly was a RIP!!!
Debbie...you've got mail
email

 

[baychef]

I haven't been on since I posted yesterday afternoon.

Amy Neal's approach is very comfortable, gentle, calming. She suggests the conversations be as nature, flowing and comfortable.

Yes, I do want my team to grow. My life as it is, however, may not allow the extra time and I am very disappointed with that.

Maybe in time the concepts and suggestions Amy suggested will grow on me but for now it hasn't.

I feel like I did last year when the interactive shows were introduced. They made me incredibly uncomfortable. The more I used the methods suggested, the more uncomfortable I felt. I was already using some of the concepts of an interactive show, but still tried to do a full blown interactive show. It made my customers uncomfortable, but I kept trying. It took me months to realize that I was starting to avoid my business and it was not fun. After I went back to parties in the format I was comfortable with, things picked up again.

Maybe change is harder for me than I thought. I don't have a problem with the Career Plan and working more with my team. Just the suggestions made on the call gave me that same feeling I had last year with interactive shows

And about Belinda...I can tell when she is winding down her talk when she adds that volume at the end to get her point across and that is not my personal style. I feel the content of what she has to say is worthwhile. But since two feet of snow fell (2 to 3 inches an hour) and the winds were blowing...it wasn't meant to be!

 

[MORFIA]

no offense to anyone but ---I skipped the B.E. training at leadership on purpose- Too loud even for this Jersey girl!! I am leading a booking blitz tonight--You are all welcomed to hop on at 7pm I think if we go ONE STEP AT A TIME we won't get overwhelmed---Look at it as a mother nature BLESSING--they too could have been turned off----I will post the # soon!!

 

[baychef]

Well, I am feeling better about things today. There are times when I feel like the CD is skipping!!!

And we can agree to disagree about B.E.! I guess there are things about her that don't bother me that apparently bother others. There was a speaker Sue Rausch that everyone loved. Again, I liked her material but the woman bored me to death! Her audios annoyed me but everyone else raved about her.

My cluster is far away from me but shared some great workshops they are doing that are very do-able for me. I think my focus was too much on the Career Plan and it really should just be on taking action with my team. Keeping positive and focused can be a struggle sometime. Sorry if I brought anyone else down with my venting. There are no other directors and up near me so sometimes I feel overwhelmed.

Thanks for listening and for supporitive words.

 

[finley1991]

There was a speaker Sue Rausch that everyone loved.

She was with PC for YEARS and then left to do the speaking thing...

 

[OhmyDLM]

Well, I am feeling better about things today. There are times when I feel like the CD is skipping!!!

And we can agree to disagree about B.E.! I guess there are things about her that don't bother me that apparently bother others. There was a speaker Sue Rausch that everyone loved. Again, I liked her material but the woman bored me to death! Her audios annoyed me but everyone else raved about her.

My cluster is far away from me but shared some great workshops they are doing that are very do-able for me. I think my focus was too much on the Career Plan and it really should just be on taking action with my team. Keeping positive and focused can be a struggle sometime. Sorry if I brought anyone else down with my venting. There are no other directors and up near me so sometimes I feel overwhelmed.

Thanks for listening and for supporitive words.

I sooo can understand how you feel! I was so upset at first with the new plan, it just had my head spinning and I was sooo super stressed about trying to learn it all and then figure out how I was going to accomplish setting it into play (ie: teaching it to my team and actually having them do it for themselves!) Well I ended up skipping the Belinda general session because I had such a migrane and was way too stressed out with these types of feelings. Anyways... I took a moment to myself alone in our room, took a bath, and calmed down... now that I've given it all time to absorb, I'm feeling so great about it all! It was just information overload there for a little bit. Now that I've thought about it, come to the realization that I'll need to make some changes, and decided that this needs to be about my team and not about me, I'm in much better spirits. But I do agree, it's a lot to take in at first, but we'll get through this and we'll have stronger teams in the end because of it, I know we will!!!!!!!!!!! Glad you're feeling better! <3 Darcy

 

[baychef]

She was with PC for YEARS and then left to do the speaking thing...

She was quite successful in not just PC but in speaking. She then left the speaking to work with Big Yellow Box. They folded and closed within a year and from one of their "founding leaders" they feel Sue was a great contributor to bringing down the company. Personally, I wonder if she was just an easy target. The products were cute but limited in their market and pricey.

Thank Darcy...I think the information overload is a large part of my anxiety and self doubt. In talking with my most productive consultants today, we are brainstorming on changing how we approach recruiting to not only our downline but our customers. This will help them and I feel make me less anxious about trying to create an Amway Nazi team!!! (sorry...don't mean to offend anyone by that comment...just painting a picture :yuck

 

[finley1991]

They folded and closed within a year and from one of their "founding leaders" they feel Sue was a great contributor to bringing down the company.

I knew that they closed soon after Sue joined them... too bad she was targeted. She was very instrumental with other directors who are now our NEDs in developing a lot of the training that PC implemented (before they had an official training department) and she felt they should have been compensated for that. When PC said no, she left. (** At least that is what I heard... so take it for what it's worth!)

 

[baychef]

This came from the website "Simple Truths". They sell small inspirational books. This "Debbie Downer" is going to print this out and put it in front of her face to see at her desk!! For those of you going through stressful times, no matter what the source, I hope this helps you too!


An excerpt from Living a Five Star Life
by Betty Mahalik
A friend of mine, who has a far greener thumb than I, recently took me on a tour of her backyard in the desert Southwest. She pointed out all the varieties of trees, shrubs and grasses she has planted, but one plant in particular caught my attention. She pointed to a shrub with small dark red blossoms on it, and told me that if you give the plant too much water it doesn't bloom. It thrives and blossoms under just the right amount of environmental stress.

It reminded me of another story of a butterfly, perched on a windowsill, struggling to escape its cocoon. A helpful observer, watching its struggle, decided to gently cut the creature's cocoon open and free it. When the wet butterfly finally emerged, it was unable to fly because what was intended to be helpful had actually prevented the butterfly from strengthening its wings to prepare it for flight.

Perhaps the stress we experience can be the predictor of beautiful flowers or elegant flight in our own lives. Perhaps if we are patient and stop to be grateful for our experiences, we too, like the plant or the butterfly, will blossom or fly in unexpected ways as a result of the stress, rather than being defeated by it.

I'm not saying that stress is always a good thing. I am saying, from first-hand experience, that's it's not always a bad thing either. We need the right amount of tension to keep us "blossoming." And while we humans are more complex than a plant, we can learn valuable lessons by observing nature.

If you're in a period when stress seems to be your constant companion, take a lesson from nature.

Instead of asking, "Why am I having to deal with all of this?" ask yourself what you most need to learn from your experiences. View the situation much like the butterfly must see its cocoon...as a barrier you must break through to become the extraordinary creature you were designed to be.

It's not always easy to maintain such a perspective. We often make our experiences harder than they have to be by our resistance to change, growth or stress. Stay focused and use stress to take you a step closer to the flower or butterfly you want to become.

"It is a basic principle of spiritual life that we learn the deepest things in unknown territory. Often it's when we feel most confused inwardly and are in the midst of our greatest difficulties that something new will open. We awaken most easily to the mystery of life through our weakest side. The areas of our greatest strength, where we are the most competent and clearest, tend to keep us away from the mystery."

-Jack Kornfield

 

[Mel5497]

"It is a basic principle of spiritual life that we learn the deepest things in unknown territory. Often it's when we feel most confused inwardly and are in the midst of our greatest difficulties that something new will open." -Jack Kornfield

Great quote. Thanks for sharing!

 

[pamela]

Ann, that is fantastic!
Speaking only from my experiences this past year with the illness of my father and the loss of Directorship and how my business was affected, I can honestly say that we must take stock of our lives daily...the good and the bad. If you let stress get the upper hand, it will do its best to push you down. Take the time to stop and evaluate why the stress of the moment you are in is making you feel the way you do, learn from it and move on!

I had a great moment at our Cluster meeting last night~I was #1 in sales and recruting for my D's line and I was really proud that I was because the year before I was #3 and was really bummed on myself...I told myself this time last year, that I would pull myself up by the bootstraps and make #1 again because I could, not because I had to! I would do everything I could to make 2008 a better year for my family & my business, and although the path didn't go where I expected it to (thru Mexico!), it was a very good year, both personally and for my business!

 

[cheftiffany]

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they go right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart, so that better things can fall together."
--Marilyn Monroe

I found this today and it seemed to fit. I was watching the inauguration when I saw it and thought something must have led me there. It seems to be my running theme today.

 

[baychef]

"We choose hope over fear"...from President Obama's speech. Hmmm...did he read my Debbie Downer thread?

And Meg...congratulations!!! Picking up yourself by the boot straps sounds like a one time shot, but it is day by day determination to make your situation better and not become defeated in the meantime. Great job!