Can Vacation Plans Ruin Father's Day?

[dannyzmom]

I just looked at the dates of the Washington DC trip that I've earned and would you believe it runs over freakin' Father's day weekend@@?@?

WTF were the trips & incentives people thinking!!?!?!?

I am divorced from my children's father! My children have been pulling for this trip all year long and now I come to find out it's over Father's Day weekend????

How am I supposed to get my ex to agree to let me have the kids to take them AWAY on a vacation over HIS FATHER'S DAY WEEKEND??????

OMG - I could just SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAM!!!!!!!
:cry: :cry: :grumpy: :grumpy: :cry: :cry:

 

[ragschef]

Maybe you could tell them that you'll work something out beforehand and after the trip. Maybe, if he's a decent guy, he'll understand that these things can happen and be a little reasonable. ?? I dont know what your situations and arrangements are like, but hopefully something will work out. I hate that the scheduling is so awful. I dont understand why they would schedule anything like that over any holiday weekend. I'm sure you aren't the only one in your boat; others may not have realized it yet.

I'm so sorry for you. I hope it works out. You deserve the trip!

 

[dannyzmom]

Reasonable guy or not...how can I ask him to spend Father's Day WITHOUT his children? I can't imagine how I would cope with a Mother's Day without my sons. How can I ask him to do the same?

I don't want to go to London.
I don't want to take a trip without my kids.
The $1500 gift card option is not nearly enough to cover the cost of the 4 of us going to DC another time.

I am so crushed

 

[slj1229]

Are you close enough with him to invite him along?

 

[dannyzmom]

Are you close enough with him to invite him along?

I would totally consider taking the trip as me & hubby and ex & his wife and then buying in the kids...that way he and his wife have their hotel & flights covered...but I can't imagine my ex's new wife agreeing to that. They're very newly married and only dated a few months before getting married...I think she's really uncomfy about having to deal with me any more than absolutely necessary...

 

[JAE]

Why don't you switch Mother's Day and Father's Day. It's just a day on the calendar. Your kids probably will want to go to D.C. Are they already planning on it? They may resent staying home for that one day.

 

[slj1229]

May I ask how old your kids are?? If they are older why don't you, your ex and the kids sit down together and work something out. Maybe an extra long weekend the following week, or the week before. As far as Dad feeling bad about no kids on Fathers day, maybe you could make a big deal and go really over board when you do celebrate.

 

[janetupnorth]

Yes Carolyn, before panicking about it I'd sit down and talk to him. Father's Day and Mother's Day are really Hallmark Holidays anyway. They are what society makes them. You should be able to agree to have a Father's Day on another day. You have worked so hard to provide this trip for your family and the kids. ...and we have to remember guys sometimes view holidays with less sentimental value than us women!

Try talking to him Carolyn. I hope it works out.

 

[JAE]

It's okay to freak out here, though. Sometimes venting helps us think things through and just get the initial frustration out. I, too, hope it works out.

 

[slj1229]

Not to say that my Hubby isn't a great Dad, but he would probobly not even know it was Fathers Day if I wouldn't remind him. You never know, maybe he has something that him and the new wife could together for a no kid weekend!! Just a thought, you are more than likely worrying more about this than you should be. If he's a decent guy he will want his kids to have the wonderful experience of seeing our Nations Capital, if not then invite him and if he say's no, for what ever reason then it's his fault, you did everything you could.

 

[janetupnorth]

It's okay to freak out here, though. Sometimes venting helps us think things through and just get the initial frustration out. I, too, hope it works out.

Yeah, I didn't mean she couldn't vent here...just not stress herself out and worry too much before she makes an attempt! ...just looking out for Carolyn's blood pressure...

 

[pckrissy]

That stinks Carolyn, I will be giving birth instead of crusing with everyone in April. True it's my fault for bad or should i say not planning but upsetting still the same. The $900 gift card doesn't cut it for me either. I should be happy about the money but I REALLY WANTED THAT CRUISE!!
I hope you find a solution to your problem....that is definately not a good time to plan a trip..what were they thinking!!!

 

[sfdavis918]

Reasonable guy or not...how can I ask him to spend Father's Day WITHOUT his children? I can't imagine how I would cope with a Mother's Day without my sons. How can I ask him to do the same?(

Around here Father's Day is the day dad gets to go and do his own thing! Same with Mother's Day. I go and get a massage and nails done and, well, whatever I want!!

 

[chefsteph07]

I was going to suggest switching Fathers Day and Mothers Day as well..I think that makes the most sense...He can have them the extra time in May and you take them for the June day...Or make the weekend after you get back from the cruise his special time..or give him extra time over spring break..I mean, it can be worked out if you are on good terms w/ your ex, and it sounds like you are...good luck. I am a stepmother (ss lives here full time) and I TOTALLY understand where you are coming from!!!!

 

[ChefBeckyD]

From my experience, Mother's Day seem to mean more to Moms than Father's Day means to Dads.......maybe he won't be as upset about it as you are Carolyn. You're a Mom!

 

[lacychef]

Oh man, I would probably freak out too...but like everyone said, just talk all together about it. Work out their own 'father's day'---you worked too hard to not take the trip!

 

[Kitchen2u]

This may not sound great, but you also have the option of taking the cruise. Meals paid...hmmm, maybe cheaper for you in the long run. If you earned TPC...no extras on the cruise though.

 

[dannyzmom]

We looked into the buying-in-the-kids and bringing ex and his wife as out other two people thing - but it would cost a fortune and I wouldn't want them in the same hotel as us.

Going on the cruise - or London w/o the kids is not an option. The kids have been working as hard as I have to earn this trip. It means so much to them.

I think my only option is to beg and plead with ex-DH to see if he'd be willing to swap M's Day for F's Day and do it that way. I pray pray pray he will go for it - or the kids will be crushed.

This weekend is ex's 40th bday so it's not a good time to bring it up. I will wait ti lnext week. Wish me luck...please?

 

[pamperedbecky]

Good luck Carolyn!!!! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that he goes for you. You need to go to DC!!!!

 

[MissChef]

I'll pray for you! Maybe your oldest boy could tell his Dad how much he's love to go?? I don't know, just an idea! I think if you bring it to him in the fact that your kids would be crushed and the fact that you'd be willing to give up your Mother's Day, he might listen. Don't go in with the attitude he will never go for it, or that will be how it turns out! I believe in what you say is what you get, so start saying positively out loud that he will be good with it. Maybe you can do something to ensure that they celebrate fathers day on mothers day, so that he get's his special time with them too.
I'll pray for you,:angel: and don't stress too hard!!! Christmas holiday time just might soften him... plus it will be his first one with his new wife so maybe he'll be extra jolly! One can hope, right?!! :balloon:

 

[pamperedlinda]

Good Luck Carolyn. Hopefully XDH will realize that he will only hurt the kids more than you if he doesn't accomodate.

 

[amy07]

ouch, that's a tough one.

 

[Addie4TLC]

That stinks Carolyn, I will be giving birth instead of crusing with everyone in April. True it's my fault for bad or should i say not planning but upsetting still the same. The $900 gift card doesn't cut it for me either. I should be happy about the money but I REALLY WANTED THAT CRUISE!!
I hope you find a solution to your problem....that is definately not a good time to plan a trip..what were they thinking!!!

Talk about timing! My husband does taxes and the cruise starts a couple of days before the 15th, the busiest tax days of the year!!! GRRRR

 

[beepampered]

I wouldn't let him know that you think it's a big deal cause he might use it for leverage for something extra. I'd just casually say that you are going to DC with this trip you earned and the kids are very excited. Tell him the dates (don't mention Father's Day) and ask him to verify on his calendar that that will work for him.

If you feel like you should mention that it's Father's Day (probably most men wouldn't realize it until the week of your trip), then I'd just be causal about it. "We're going to DC the weekend of Father's Day. It's the only date available. The kids will be real disappointed if they can't go. Would you like them the following weekend? Thanks."

Good luck...

 

[dannyzmom]

I wouldn't let him know that you think it's a big deal cause he might use it for leverage for something extra. I'd just casually say that you are going to DC with this trip you earned and the kids are very excited. Tell him the dates (don't mention Father's Day) and ask him to verify on his calendar that that will work for him.

If you feel like you should mention that it's Father's Day (probably most men wouldn't realize it until the week of your trip), then I'd just be causal about it. "We're going to DC the weekend of Father's Day. It's the only date available. The kids will be real disappointed if they can't go. Would you like them the following weekend? Thanks."

Good luck...

Hmmm - hadn't thought about taking this angle. It seems a bit deceptive though & I am not sure I am comfortable with that. We've worked so hard for so long to get to this point where we are now (getting along so well) that I'd hate for him to feel I was pulling one over on him. Now, if this were a few years ago and we were still at odds...I may have had a different opinion - LOL. But I think where we're at these days my best bet is just to be open & honest and to hope for the best.