Should I Host a Show for an Inconsiderate Former Colleague?

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Discussion Overview

This thread explores the dilemma of whether to host a show for a former colleague who has started selling for a new company. Participants share their personal experiences and opinions regarding the appropriateness of hosting a show under these circumstances.

Discussion Character

  • Opinion-based
  • Anecdotal
  • Debate/contested

Main Points Raised

  • One participant, identifying as a consultant, expresses reluctance to host a show for a former colleague due to the way the request was made and the lack of a strong friendship.
  • Several participants agree that there is no obligation to host a show and suggest responding with a polite decline.
  • Another participant shares their experience of having a rule against trading shows, emphasizing the importance of hosting on one's own terms.
  • Some participants mention that if the timing isn't right or if there is no genuine interest, it may not lead to a successful show.
  • One participant recounts a negative experience with trading shows, reinforcing their decision to avoid such arrangements in the future.
  • Another participant notes that they are willing to support a friend who has consistently supported them, highlighting the importance of mutual assistance.

Areas of Agreement / Disagreement

Views differ among participants, with some advocating for a firm refusal to host while others suggest a more supportive approach depending on personal circumstances.

Contextual Notes

Participants share their experiences and feelings regarding hosting shows, emphasizing personal relationships and past interactions with colleagues and friends.

Who May Find This Useful

Consultants navigating similar situations with former colleagues or acquaintances in the direct sales industry may find these discussions relevant.

P
PamperedK
Silver Member
Messages
1,126
A girl I used to work with hosted a show with me last year. This year, she decided to start up with a new company here in the city. She emailed me and said "oh I just started selling, so you have to have a party with me."

I'm all for supporting her in her new business, however...I don't like the way she approached me about this, and she's not a good friend of mine - or even a great customer - she orders from other consultants all the time! I've just moved and hosted my own PC show and a bunch of others...I'm not really interested in hosting a show with her.

She's going to call me this weekend and follow up...what do you think I should do? Should I suck it up and do the party and be a good fellow-DS-consultant? Should I say "not right now"?? I'm torn.
 
No, I would not "suck it up and do the party". Just reply to her e-mail and tell her either that you will let her know if you ever want to do a show or tell her you don't have DS shows. Whatever your reason, just tell her "no".
 
JAE said:
No, I would not "suck it up and do the party". Just reply to her e-mail and tell her either that you will let her know if you ever want to do a show or tell her you don't have DS shows. Whatever your reason, just tell her "no".
Click to expand...

Ditto! (what she said)
 
Yes, be firm. We don't like other people to not respond to us or jerk us around. If you want to someday help her, that is fine, but make it on your terms. Say you appreciate her hosting a show but know she also buys from other PC consultants. Say it wouldn't be fair to the other consultants YOU buy from to host for her and not them.I personally do not like the "I'll do a show for you if you do one for me."
 
Don't feel that you MUST do a show for her! From experience, we all know that if someone doesnt' really want to do a show...it's not gonna be a good one anyway.

I would tell her that you aren't interested right now, but if you ever change your mind, now you know who to call if you want to have a (whatever co. she's with) party.
 
KellyTheChef said:
Don't feel that you MUST do a show for her! From experience, we all know that if someone doesnt' really want to do a show...it's not gonna be a good one anyway.

I would tell her that you aren't interested right now, but if you ever change your mind, now you know who to call if you want to have a (whatever co. she's with) party.
Click to expand...

Good wording Kelly, that is what I was looking to say (2nd paragraph).
 
You don't have to do anything other than see yourself as an ordinary citizen....

IF you like the products, IF you think she'd be a good consultant (not turn off your friends) and WHEN the timing works for you, have a show with her. When she calls, if you are not going to have a party, tell her why just like our guests do when they decline. (not a good time, all my friends are parties out, etc)

Good luck!
 
A good friend of mine who sells for another DS company, and is HUGE with her business, told me when I started PC that she made it a rule from the beginning to never "trade" parties/shows. (Not that I had asked her to have a show, she was just sharing advice). She said that she tells anyone who asks or offers that she does shows almost every night of the week and the rest of her time is for family. If she wants to have a show, she will, but she will not book a show with anyone who is going to be conditional.

I would share that same advice with her, offering the advice in the spirit of her doing the same thing with her business. You could tell her that your schedule is full right now and you would love to support her by having a show in the future when you are available (if that's really what you feel like doing). If you are interested in the products, you could also tell her that you would be happy to place an order. And if you don't want to ever have a show, you're not losing a good customer anyway...
 
She already got rewarded for hosting your PC show with free stuff. You don't owe her anything. It's completely different if you like what she is selling and would like to earn some product for free... then I would say go for it!
 
Kathy's_Kitchen said:
A good friend of mine who sells for another DS company, and is HUGE with her business, told me when I started PC that she made it a rule from the beginning to never "trade" parties/shows. (Not that I had asked her to have a show, she was just sharing advice). She said that she tells anyone who asks or offers that she does shows almost every night of the week and the rest of her time is for family. If she wants to have a show, she will, but she will not book a show with anyone who is going to be conditional.

I would share that same advice with her, offering the advice in the spirit of her doing the same thing with her business. You could tell her that your schedule is full right now and you would love to support her by having a show in the future when you are available (if that's really what you feel like doing). If you are interested in the products, you could also tell her that you would be happy to place an order. And if you don't want to ever have a show, you're not losing a good customer anyway...
Click to expand...

wow what a great way to put it!!!
 
Yes, I thought so too when she shared that with me. And, yes, I've used it a couple of times with friends/acquaintances...no one has ever gotten mad or stopped being my friend...yet... :D
 
  • Thread starter
  • #12
Thanks guys. I know I don't HAVE to...I just always have this feeling that I want to help people get started because I know how hard it is.

I will NEVER trade shows again. I used to trade shows on the condition that the PC show was held at least 2 weeks BEFORE the other show...well, a Passion Party consultant totally screwed me over with that. She postponed her show and then cancelled saying she'd do a book show and then never did the book show and won't return my calls. Never again!
 
Did you end up having her Passion Party even though she cancelled on you?
 
I just sent this out to a friend who asked me the same thing. I also had a good friend lie to me and had me do a show for her and never did the show for me. Not even a catalog show. Fool me once...

"That is great that you are starting your own business. I am so happy for you, but unfortunately at this time I really can't host a show for you. I wish you lots of success and we should definitely get together for lunch or dinner and discuss our success stories and horror stories."

Debbie :D
 
I would add (if you are interested in the product) that you would be happy to attend her grand opening show and support her that way.
 
I agree with all the above...however I DO have 1 lady that just started her candle biz & we decided to do a show together (she's my host, I'm hers) in September...one of the reasons I chose to do it is because she hosts a show for me EVERY month & has since I started in Nov. So, I want to help her out as much as she's helped me.

BUT if she had tried to "guilt" me into it, the answer would've been NO.
 
Winnipegk said:
A girl I used to work with hosted a show with me last year. This year, she decided to start up with a new company here in the city. She emailed me and said "oh I just started selling, so you have to have a party with me."
I'm all for supporting her in her new business, however...I don't like the way she approached me about this, and she's not a good friend of mine - or even a great customer - she orders from other consultants all the time! I've just moved and hosted my own PC show and a bunch of others...I'm not really interested in hosting a show with her.

She's going to call me this weekend and follow up...what do you think I should do? Should I suck it up and do the party and be a good fellow-DS-consultant? Should I say "not right now"?? I'm torn.
Click to expand...

My daddy always says "I don't HAVE to do anything but pay taxes!!":rolleyes:
 
  • Thread starter
  • #18
chefsteph07 said:
Did you end up having her Passion Party even though she cancelled on you?
Click to expand...

Unfortunately, yes. She postponed her show, and told me she'd reschedule...and then she cancelled the day of her rescheduled show!
 

Frequently Asked Questions

Should I host a show for a former colleague who was inconsiderate to me?

Hosting a show for a former colleague can be a personal decision. Consider how their past behavior affects your willingness to support them. If you feel uncomfortable or resentful, it might be best to decline.

What are the benefits of hosting a show for someone I don't get along with?

Hosting a show can provide you with an opportunity to showcase your hospitality skills and potentially earn free products. It can also serve as a chance to mend fences, but only if you feel comfortable doing so.

How can I politely decline hosting a show for this person?

You can decline by expressing gratitude for the invitation while stating that you are unable to host at this time. It's perfectly acceptable to prioritize your own comfort and boundaries.

What if I want to support my friend but still feel uneasy about the former colleague?

You can support your friend by encouraging them to host the show without directly participating. Offer to help with promotion or logistics from a distance, which allows you to support your friend without engaging with the former colleague directly.

Are there alternatives to hosting a show that I can consider?

Yes, you could consider attending the show as a guest instead of hosting. This way, you can support the event without the added pressure of being the host. Alternatively, you could make a purchase online to support the show without attending.

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