Urgent Pray for My Buddy: Update on Her Ovarian Cancer Journey

[raebates]

Some of you may remember that my Pig Butt Buddy was diagnosed about a year ago with ovarian cancer. She responded well to treatment, but a follow-up visit showed that it wasn't all gone.

She was enrolled in a trial, but it didn't work well for her. She began a new round of chemo in January. Her prognosis has been good, even though she's had a lot of trouble with ascites (a build-up of fluid in her abdominal cavity). They've drained it a couple of times.

I got a call Monday evening that she was back in the hospital. They've had a little trouble keeping her hydrated. I figured it was just that or they needed to drain the ascites again. I called to check on her last night. She's really not doing well. She had trouble talking and seemed a bit confused. I asked her sister (who is a nurse) how she was doing and she said, "Not good."

I'm headed down today to visit her. I'm really concerned. I'd appreciate your prayers.

 

[pampchefrhondab]

Oh Rae, I'm so sorry to hear this. I will be praying for her.

 

[Crystal Patton]

Rea drive safely and know that we are praying for you and her

 

[tlag1986]

I'm praying. Please be safe on the road.

 

[KellyTheChef]

Oh Rae...I pray that she gets through this and gets better! {{{HUGS}}} to both of you!

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Rae - I've walked through cancer with a dear friend, so although I don't know exactly what you are going through, I've been in a similar situation, and know that there are many emotions you are dealing with right now.

I will be keeping you, and your buddy, before God's throne of grace today. You will be on my heart, and in my prayers throughout the day.

 

[twinchefs]

I'll be praying Rae.

 

[whiteyteresa]

Prayers are with you and your friend

:chef:

 

[janetupnorth]

Man...praying...

 

[legacypc46]

Sending prayers, Rae.

 

[cookingwith_tara]

I'm praying . . .

 

[pampered.chris]

I am praying and thinking of you Rae.

 

[pcchefjane]

Praying for you and your friend. Be careful...

 

[peichef]

more prayers coming for you & your friend and her medical team

 

[raebates]

Thank you so much for the prayers. I felt better after seeing her. She was coherent. The confusion was due to an elevated calcium level. They have postponed the procedure to remove fluid from her lungs until tomorrow. They'll be talking to someone about an care facility this afternoon, which will make it easier for her to receive treatment without having to drive back and forth. I'm hoping that this will be a good thing. I must admit that in the 15 months she's been dealing with this, this is the first time I've been truly concerned about her survival. I

 

[raebates]

I just got off the phone with Beth's sister. The tests show that there is now a mass in her chest. The reason she was having trouble when she lies flat is that her blood is thickening. They said this is common.They have told her that there is nothing more they can do for her. They are simply making her comfortable. They will talk with hospice this afternoon. Her family has decided that if she wants to be at home they will make those arrangements. If she would rather be in a hospice, they will find one close to home.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Oh Rae, my heart hurts with yours right now.

I'll keep praying.

 

[Chef Kearns]

Rae, I cannot even imagine what you are going through, but I hope you are comforted by the Holy Spirit during this time. You and your friend's family.

 

[raebates]

Thank you. Beth knows the Lord. I know that she's in good hands, no matter what happens. I also know that doctors don't know everything.

 

[KellyTheChef]

Thank you. Beth knows the Lord. I know that she's in good hands, no matter what happens. I also know that doctors don't know everything.

Well put! Glad to know you will have assurance of where she is when the time comes, and that some day you will get to rejoice beside her in heaven. I hope that day is LONG from now and that the Lord heals her for his glory! If that is not in his plan, I pray for you and her family to have the strength to deal with this.

Wish I could give you a hug, hon! Love ya!

 

[raebates]

Thanks, Kelly. I keep trying to explain to God that I'm not ready to let her go yet. I have several good friends, but few other people find hoarfrost, pig butts, and the word assess and funny as we do.*I've spent a lot of the day letting people know the situation. I'll be spending a lot of the evening doing the same thing. Somehow I've become the information hub for a whole bunch of friends. I've reached a point where I can get through the whole thing before I tear up. *I'll explain:Hoarfrost--in the midst of a discussion about beautiful weather phenomena, I said that my favorite is hoarfrost. Beth was driving and started laughing so hard she had to pull over. I explained that hoary means hairy. The Bible says that Esau was a hoary man. Hoarfrost is that thick, furry frost that happens when it's foggy and freezing at the same time. She still leaves me messages to call her by simply saying, "Hoarfrost!" and hanging up. Pig butts--she once called me and said, "I just saw a truckload of pig butts, and it made me think of you. Is that a bad thing?" Turns out they had their little tails sticking out the side of the truck, and they were all flapping in the wind. It made her laugh. Laughing made her think of me. I didn't think that was bad. On the way home that night I saw two pig trucks--one right after the other. I called and said, "You started it. Now pig butts make me think of you." We've given each other lots of pig gifts over the past several years. Assess--she once called me and asked how to spell assess. I told her, and she said, "Oh, crap!" She had just written a letter to a man she had recently dated. She thanked him for helping her to assess some things about herself. Unfortunately she (a) left the final S off and (b) had just mailed the letter. Again, she laughed so hard she had to pull over. I told her not to worry about it. Chances were good that he'd never notice. Plus, that's one word she'll never forget how to spell.

 

[jrstephens]

Such wonderful memories!!!!!!!!!!

 

[raebates]

Yeah, we have lots. We're good buddies.

 

[Teresa Lynn]

your memories made me laugh sending prayers

 

[Gina M]

Oh Rae - sounds like you have some wonderful friends. I'll be praying for your friend - I'm glad you can be there for her - I'm sure she appreciates it more than you know.

 

[raebates]

Thanks Teresa and Gina. I'm one of many. Beth is one of those connector people. She doesn't know everyone, but she knows someone everywhere we go. She remembers all kinds of things about people. I tease her that we could parachute into remote Siberia and hike to the nearest collection of huts. We'd be there 10 minutes before she looked at someone and said, "Aren't you the cousin of the UPS driver for Susie Smith's brother-in-law?" And, of course, she'd be right.

 

[Get_Pampered]

Your memories are bringing me laughter I'm praying too - hang in there

 

[raebates]

I spoke with her just a little while ago. She sounds okay, though she's still having a little trouble breathing. They'll use a needle tomorrow to remove some of the fluid on her lungs, which should help her to breathe a little easier.

 

[AnnieBee]

Oh Rae, your stories made me laugh and cry. I can't imagine losing a friend like that... I'm so sorry that she and her loved ones (which obviously includes you!) are having to go through this. I have and will be praying for her and you.

 

[Ann F]

Well put! Glad to know you will have assurance of where she is when the time comes, and that some day you will get to rejoice beside her in heaven. I hope that day is LONG from now and that the Lord heals her for his glory! If that is not in his plan, I pray for you and her family to have the strength to deal with this.

Well said, Kelly. My prayer, too.

Thanks for sharing the stories with us.

 

[tlag1986]

Rae I continue to pray for her. Sounds like you have many memories.

 

[Crystal Patton]

May the Lord lend you His Grace during this difficult time.

 

[raebates]

Thank you all for your prayers.I visited her today. They took 1.5 liters of fluid out of her right lung, so she's breathing easier. She will be transported to her home tomorrow. The doctors are giving her a week or two. She's groggy, and her speech is a bit slurred.

 

[Ann F]

Thought about y'all today. I'm so sorry. I haven't gone through anything like this, but my heart hurts for you and her other friends and family.

 

[raebates]

Thank you for your continued prayers. She's resting comfortably at home.

 

[janetupnorth]

Rae - just caught up. I'll be thinking of you two today. I'm glad she's home although that brings its own challenges. I hope she has a good person doing the thoracentesis each time. My dad had those numerous times in the end to make him comfortable. They'd remove about 2L from EACH long each time. Can you imagine a 2L bottle restricting your breathing? Yikes!Anyway, they provide GREAT relief but if done wrong, they can collapse a lung and cause her to be in the hospital for a few days.If they want to put a valve in so she can be drained at home tell her to really consider it!Anyway, praying for comfort, little to no pain and peace during this time.

 

[raebates]

Thanks, Janet. She was much more comfortable after the thoracentesis. Her sister is a nurse, and has said that if they suggest a valve the family would agree.

 

[raebates]

I visited her this morning. She's more awake today. Unfortunately, that means she's more aware of what's happening to her. She, her sister, and I cried together. She said she's sad; her heart hurts. She's had a lot of visitors, which has worn her out a bit. However, while they've asked that people call before stopping by, her sister asked me to not hesitate to come by any time. She said that there are a few of us who seem to help Beth to focus and cheer her. I assured Sis that I'll be by every day.

 

[heather223]

Rae I am just seeing this thread- I am praying for you both.

 

[tlag1986]

I pray God gives you and her comfort during this ending time. My heart goes out to you both, after loosing more than one family member and watching many people die from cancer it is a difficult road.

 

[raebates]

Thanks so much for all of the prayers and good thoughts. I know that cancer touches just about everyone in one way or another. This is my first experience with losing someone close to a lingering illness. I'm doing my best to allow both her and myself to simply feel whatever we're feeling.

 

[dianevill]

Rae, thank you for sharing your wonderful stories. I'm praying for peace and comfort!

 

[raebates]

I spent a couple of hours with Beth today. She's had a lot of visitors. She mostly sleeps, but she's often aware of what's going on around her. She got a bit miffed at her sister and me today because we were both leaving at the same time. I was telling her mom that I'm proud of the way she learned to stand up for herself. She was even assertive a few times with authority figures. That was huge for Beth. Her mom told me that she asserted herself last night. At one point she said, "Listen! What time is it?" They told her it was about 7 p.m. She said in a very snarky tone, "Okay. You have until 8:00. At 8:00 I want everyone to leave, and I want you to turn out the lights. I need some sleep." The entire time she had her eyes closed and her brow furrowed.

 

[raebates]

I visited for a couple of hours yesterday. Beth's body is clearly shutting down. Here are my prayer requests:

• For Beth--that she will be comfortable.
  
  
• For her brother and sister--he's not taking things well and tends to stay away unless needed to help move Beth. Her sister is a nurse, so she's almost too aware of what's happening to Beth from a clinical perspective.
  
  
• For her dad--well, I don't know what to tell you there. He has had a few strokes over the last several years. To see him you'd never know he'd had any issues. However, mentally I'm not sure how aware he is of what's going on.
  
  
• Especially for her mom--they are close. Beth is 41 and has lived with her parents since she college (not in a creepy way, but like roommates). Beth has been a part of her daily life for almost all of those 41 years.
  
  
• For me--that I can be whatever she and her family need me to be for them over the next few days and weeks.

Thanks again for your prayers.

 

[Crystal Patton]

Thank you Rea for keeping us updated.

I will pray for everyone and that the Lord will guide you at this time.

 

[pamperedlinda]

I've been following this Rae. Prayers and peace for everyone.

 

[tlag1986]

I continue to pray as well.

 

[raebates]

Thanks so much. She had a restless night last night. Her sister says she's a Jekyll/Hyde patient. During the day she's mostly docile and compliant, even when she's being a bit obstinate. At night she becomes very restless and insists on trying to get out of bed, even though she can't move about by herself. We did our best to keep her awake today. I'm hoping she'll sleep well tonight.

 

[candiejayne]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I've only had to deal with this once, a couple of years ago when my grandpa was very ill. It was the hardest thing I've ever been through. You are being a great friend to her though, I regret everyday for hiding from my grandpa because I didn't want to see him like he was. You are a strong woman, and for that, you are a hero to me. You are just amazing. Beth is so lucky to have you for a friend. Now every time I see a pig truck ( and I see lots, got a pig processing plant not far away) I'll think of you and your friend, and laugh. It's so wonderful you have those memories.

 

[raebates]

Thanks so much, Andrea. Trust me, I don't feel like anyone's hero.Don't beat yourself up over your reaction to your grandpa's illness. We all deal with things in our own way. I've seen Beth at her worst. I've sat with her as she was sick with the flu. (Not fun!) I've held her while she sobbed. I've laughed at the drool ribbon she created while she took a nap. Maybe all of that makes this a little easier. All I know is that some of her friends feel drawn to her side. Others can't take seeking our vibrant friend in this condition. A person's reaction to the decline of a loved one is no reflection of their feelings for or loyalty to that loved one. BTW, good luck explaining to your friends and family why you're laughing at the passing pig truck.