Out of Town Consultant Issue With Local Consultant

[finley1991]

Okay... here's one!

I am on vacation with my family in NY and saw my cousin yesterday who is a consultant in my downline. She is a hobbyist... works sporadically throughout the year when she needs some extra $$ or if someone asks her for a show. She lives in a town of about 3000 people. There is another consultant in the next town over which is bigger probably by about 10,000 people. In any case, when the other consultant found out about my cousin selling PC, she started calling her weekly!!! This has been going on for almost a year! (She just told me yesterday!) Anyway, when this consultant calls, she bullies my cousin asking her who her hosts are, what her sales are, how many people book from her shows and who they are. I don't even ask her that stuff and I'm her director!!!! Obviously she doesn't have to tell her anything but she's really getting bugged by it and is thinking of quitting because of this bully consultant. And of course, that's what the other consultant would LOVE to have happen. She doesn't know how to deal with it and feels like she just doesn't want to deal with it any more. Any suggestions?

 

[crystalscookingnow]

Call H.O. That's just not right. She may have to endure a while longer to get dates & times so that she has direct examples of what's going on, though. It's a lot easier to get something done by saying, 'Here's what's going on & this is when it has happened', rather than 'She's bothering me all of the time'. KWIM?

 

[ivykeep]

I'd suggest that your cousin get caller ID on her phone and simply not answer the phone when this other consultant calls. Or if she does take a call as soon as the questions start, your cousin should just say she has to go.

I'd imagine that the other consultant "thinks" she's offering hospitality and not bullying.

Alternatively, you could call this other consultant and ask her to stop calling your downline.

 

[pamperedgirl3]

Does your cousin still answer the phone when she calls??? I would have stopped doing that a LONG time ago! Personally, I would either just start ignoring her calls or tell her that she is running her business how she wants & that she doesn't appreciate this other consultant who is not even her director asking her questions like that. There's no reason your cousin should have to feel like quitting her business because of someone else who she shouldn't even have to talk to!

 

[chefann]

The first thing that comes to mind is to not answer the phone when she sees the bully's phone number on caller ID. And then pretend that the message was lost if the bully leaves one.

Would your cousin feel comfortable turning the tables the next time the bully calls her? When asked, "How many bookings did you get?" reply with, "Some. How many did you get?" I know it's juvenile, but sometimes that's the only way to get through to people who are that self-serving and self-involved.

 

[janetupnorth]

I agree with many aspects of the advice.

1. Have your cousin tell her that she has a director and doesn't want to share her business details with her ESPECIALLY who her hosts are.

2. If she still calls, take good notes of the questions and don't answer and call HO with the details.

3. As her director, call this consultant, explain that she has a support structure AND relatives and has asked that she not call and that she shouldn't be "bugging" another consultant.

4. If it still persists, refer to #2.

Like someone says, she may "think" she's offering hospitality, but from the little you said, she's OBVIOUSLY digging for details and viewing her as competition. She should worry about herself. Hospitality is welcoming and training not calling, annoying and getting dirt on the details of her business.

JMHO...

 

[janetupnorth]

Would your cousin feel comfortable turning the tables the next time the bully calls her? When asked, "How many bookings did you get?" reply with, "Some. How many did you get?" I know it's juvenile, but sometimes that's the only way to get through to people who are that self-serving and self-involved.

He-he - I was thinking that too!

 

[finley1991]

Sorry... my cousins does have caller id and has stopped answering the phone but since the towns are so close together and so small, they do run into each other so she gets the interrogation in person sometimes! And my cousin is not the type to turn the tables... not her personality. She'd rather just not deal with it.

I like the idea of calling HO with the documentation. Thanks for that idea!

 

[pamperedlinda]

Since your cousin runs into this 'nosey bully' from time to time from what you have described, I'd also imagine that if HO does get involved that this person is brazen enough to confront her about that too - and may even go behind her back and talk bad about her just to get even.....just a thought. I don't know what I'd do, I'll have to think about this one for a while. Some people can really get on your nerves!

 

[finley1991]

Thanks Linda... I know what you mean. I have a lot of family in this small town and have heard from others that this consultant does bad-mouth my cousin. She basically tells people that she has A LOT more experience with PC and my cousin doesn't do enough shows to have the same experience therefore she's just not that good at PC. It is a fine line... I just had a thought that maybe when I come back next month for a visit, the three of us could sit down and talk about it... hmmmm.... I'll see what my cousin thinks about doing that.

 

[pamperedmom24]

What first came to mind when I read your post was maybe that's just the other consultants personality. Some people just don't have good people skills. Before making it a bigger issue by you getting involved, your cousin should address the other consultant quite clearly. If she hasn't already, she should say firmly "I really am uncomfortable with these conversations, it may just be the way I'm percieving them, but I would prefer you no longer contact me."

If the other person continues to call then I would call HO and alert them. In my opinion I (as in you) would not get involved other than to give your cousin encouragement and maybe help in what to say. The other consultant may take your getting involved as bullying her (she probably doesn't see where she is wrong) and if she contacted HO then it would look to HO like an immature squabble between consultants instead of one sided harassment.

IMO, I have been known to be wrong, just ask my husband!

Jennifer

 

[janetupnorth]

Thanks Linda... I know what you mean. I have a lot of family in this small town and have heard from others that this consultant does bad-mouth my cousin. She basically tells people that she has A LOT more experience with PC and my cousin doesn't do enough shows to have the same experience therefore she's just not that good at PC. It is a fine line... I just had a thought that maybe when I come back next month for a visit, the three of us could sit down and talk about it... hmmmm.... I'll see what my cousin thinks about doing that.

I'd document those stories too and the sources. The bad-mouthing is wrong and I know HO would NOT want consultants to do that to other consultants. Document, call HO before your meeting with the other consultant for advice and take it from there. I would advice keeping HO in the loop on this one or it may turn into consultant vs. consultant and cousin.

 

[janetupnorth]

What first came to mind when I read your post was maybe that's just the other consultants personality. Some people just don't have good people skills. Before making it a bigger issue by you getting involved, your cousin should address the other consultant quite clearly. If she hasn't already, she should say firmly "I really am uncomfortable with these conversations, it may just be the way I'm percieving them, but I would prefer you no longer contact me."

If the other person continues to call then I would call HO and alert them. In my opinion I (as in you) would not get involved other than to give your cousin encouragement and maybe help in what to say. The other consultant may take your getting involved as bullying her (she probably doesn't see where she is wrong) and if she contacted HO then it would look to HO like an immature squabble between consultants instead of one sided harassment.

IMO, I have been known to be wrong, just ask my husband!

Jennifer

I would normally agree with your line of thinking UNTIL she mentioned the bad-mouthing of the other consultant on her cousin's experience etc. Sounds like SHE is the bully and needs some practical, ethical business advice.

 

[Jules711]

I hope she isn't sharing any information with her. After all, our hosts and customers assume that we keep their information private. That's what I'd say to any inquiries like that. "I don't share personal information regarding my shows".And all other questions are answered with "enough" or "as many as I'd like".I hope that she can resolve this. I'm not very confrontational either, but I think at this point, I'd just ask...Why do you want to know? This usually works with telemarketers.I have a fellow consultant in my city (of about 7,500) that seemed very territorial to me (freaked b/c I was at the same expo as she was even thought there were hundreds of booths and people don't even SEE everything). However, when I saw her in a different setting, she seemed nicer so that was a relief. I thought she just hated me! Of course, she (as I said at the expo) probably had enough and different leads that I did so she realized that I wasn't really competition.

 

[pamperedmom24]

"She basically tells people that she has A LOT more experience with PC and my cousin doesn't do enough shows to have the same experience therefore she's just not that good at PC."

I know how that feels, I had a director do that to me at my first and last (so far) fair. A lady came to my table and was interested in maybe joining asking alot of questions and we really hit it off. She walked around and I saw her at the other PC table. When I called to follow up on if she was still interested, She said she really didn't think she wanted to get started at this time and if she did she probably would go through the other lady. We were having a good conversation so I asked "why" and she said the lady told her I was very nice but inexperienced and just starting out so I really wouldn't be able to support her. If she only wanted to do it for a hobby maybe I would work out but if she was serious and wanted to be successful she should go with a more "seasoned" director!

Sadly, we all have to deal with these types of situations and I decided I was not going to stoop to her level, kept my head up and am determined to be successful. My personality will be the success of my business and her personality will be the death of hers !

I wish your cousin much success!

 

[pamperedmom24]

I would normally agree with your line of thinking UNTIL she mentioned the bad-mouthing of the other consultant on her cousin's experience etc. Sounds like SHE is the bully and needs some practical, ethical business advice.

I obviously take a long time writing my posts because every time I write one new information comes up that I was not aware of and my post looks out of place!!!

I was not aware of the bad mouthing when writing the post. I'm sure when I submit this post it will also be out of place ! That's what I get for always having to write so much.

Jennifer

 

[sandra foy]

If I was your cousin I would tell her to stop worrying about my business, and handle her own business.
Ask her to stop calling her.

For some reason this woman is afraid that your cousin is better than her... that's why she is so worry about what your cousin do. I have 4 consultant in my area and I recuit 2 more, and we have no problems.

Wish your cousin the best and tell her don't let that woman get the best of her !

 

[ChefBeckyD]

JUST TO TRY AND STOP MORE ADVICE ON THIS THREAD....

THIS THREAD IS FROM AUGUST OF 2007....I'm sure the issue has been resolved by now.

And Colleen, who needed the advice, is no longer on this board, so she isn't going to read the advice anyway.

 

[pcchefjane]

Maybe some of these REALLY OLD threads can be locked or something for posting but still available for review if necessary! I've noticed this happens a lot about once a month or so. Check out the dates before responding to threads please! It just gets really confusing to some of us...especially newbies!