Managing Difficult Hosts: Dealing with Late Payments and Misunderstandings

[sillylittlechef]

I think I am going to cry! Here's the story, I'll try to keep it short. I did a show for a host (who was always difficult to get a hold of) and it turned into a $1000 show. The show was Nov 10 and many people wanted their items by Thanksgiving so the night of the deadline to have orders in by then I was closing the show over the phone with the host. Between her order and a last minure order she owed me $324. She said she would put it in the mail. Last week I still had not heard from her or received her check. When I finally got in touch with her she said she was mailing it that day. A week later still nothing. So, I called twice and left messages. There were a couple of items that were missing in her order that I had shipped to me (because I was worried about non payment) and told her on the messages that I would be a few doors down and could we please make an exchange that evening. No response. I finally emailed her (a month after the show) that I really couldn't wait any longer for the check to arrive in the mail and could I please pick it up. This money was my Christmas spending money and my husband was getting quite upset with me that I had sent the order in before I received the money. Still no response, so Yesterday the check arrived in the mail. I emailed her again that I had received it and I would be happy to bring her items (an hour away). She just called me and said "I just got my nasty email that you sent me that you couldn't wait for your money any longer. I was short items in the order and I think you were very rude. I left your check at work and wasn't in for almost a week because my daughter was in a car accident. And I really want you to come out right now and bring me my items." I apologized for seeming rude, but I didn't know about the car accident and I hoped that she was alright. I would not be able to bring the items until this evening (my son has chicken pox) but I would be happy to drop them off tonight. She said well I think this just about does it for my decission to never do a show with you again and I will be sure to tell everyone what a B***h you have been about it. Again, I apologized, but I really don't feel like I should have. (I am about the least pushy person you could ever meet. I mean how many people would wait for a month for their money) Is there anything I should do at this point to try to rectify the situation? What would you girls or guys have done?

 

[pamperedgirl3]

I don't think you should worry that you did anything wrong. Boy, have we had a rash of rude hosts & guests, or what!!! So many threads about it--must be the stress of the holidays. Anyway, I don't think anything you say will rectify it. How were you supposed to know that her daughter was in an accident? She could have called you back to let you know that the money was at work, but she was with her daughter. Plus, she said she was out a week--it took a MONTH to get you the money. I say just drop off her stuff & be nice. If she says something about the money, I would definitely tell her that YOU had to cover her share with your own personal money & it was affecting your savings for Christmas. I'd say good riddance b/c it would always be something with this person. But be nice--there's nothing she can say about that!

 

[nikked]

Similar SituationI once had a similar situation involving $80 (thank God not more) from a host, including $35 that another guest was "given" by her as a birthday present. I had one successful catalog show with this host, then a show with a friend of hers, and then her cooking show, which was also good (over $700). Well, check is in mail, etc., etc., etc. Almost 3 months later, and me threatening to call the person the "gift" was for and asking for her items back, I finally had to drive almost an hour to pick up cash. This woman is a successful consultant with another DS company, and I would have NEVER expected something like this from her.

I ended up "loosing" the other bookings I had from her, and WAS GLAD I DID. She expected me to run my business the way she did hers, but never told me that was the case. Just trashed me because I wouldn't do what she wanted.

Hold your ground, and be polite (which I believe you were from what you posted). You were not in the wrong, SHE WAS. That is a HUGE chunk of money be out.

What I learned from my "nightmare host" is that if I have to submit a show by a certain date for some reason, and I do not have all payments, the show comes to me, regardless of how far the host lives from me. I explain to her that because I do not have all payment, I will have the show delivered to me, and will make arrangements to deliver to her when it arrives. The benefit of this for the host is that I sort it for her to soften the blow. The down side is that if she lives far away, I make it clear she will need to meet me at least half way, if not all the way.

I have also been host coaching to have all after the show payments made by Debit or Credit Card, or if they have to be checks, have them made out to the host, and she can pay by Debit or Credit. That way, there's no transfer that has to happen. Now, of course, the host doesn't always do this, but it helps to have that instruction on their minds.

Hope this helps! You're okay...there a saying on this board that I think really applies here...

"Bless her and Release her" ​

 

[legacypc46]

I don't think the snittyness has anything to do with you...she knows she has been irresponsible and very possibly didn't have the funds readily available to give you. She's blaming you so as to justify her own behavior.

While 'my daughter was in an accident' is a valid delay, I think she's using it for dramatic effect. She didn't mention the accident or apologize when you finally got in touch with her the first time, right? Just remember, a nice person would have said something like "Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry. So much has been going on and I didn't mail you the check!" Instead, she is snapping at you for not telling her it's okay she left you in the hole for $300+ for almost a month?

I doubt there is anything you can do to change how she feels. To be nice to you, would mean her having to acknowledge she was irresponsible in not mailing the check on time to begin with. Just give her her items and move on...and hope the check clears!

I had a similar instance where a guest turned mean over her delayed payment to me (or in my case, non-payment). It's a long story, but her card was denied multiple times..she ended up behaving pretty unpleasant and finally sent me a nasty email blaming both me and PC for screwing up on the address. (I've since been told by my bank that address/name verification is a vendor option. Banks verify the card number and funds availability.) Turns out, she did the same thing to another consultant. (I think she was extra snitty with me because I knew her personally and she was extra embarrassed.)

There's plenty of nice people out there to do business with.

Kristin

 

[cmdtrgd]

I think you handled it perfectly! Chin up!

 

[ChefLisa]

I am always disappointed when people do not fulfill their obligation and then point the finger of blame where it does not belong. This host should have put the check in the mail the day after the show closed.

The only thing I would be concered with is the check. Please make sure you take it to the bank immediately and get it cashed. Do not put it through your account and do not wait. I would be worried about her placing a stop payment on it or there not being sufficient funds in the account. If for any reason the check is not good when you go to cash it, send her a certified letter that you need a money order or bank check. Please do not hesitate to do this immediately. She has already had her extra chances to make this right, so do not wait for the funds to go into the account.

Good luck!
Lisa

 

[chefann]

The only thing I would be concered with is the check. Please make sure you take it to the bank immediately and get it cashed. Do not put it through your account and do not wait. I would be worried about her placing a stop payment on it or there not being sufficient funds in the account. If for any reason the check is not good when you go to cash it, send her a certified letter that you need a money order or bank check. Please do not hesitate to do this immediately. She has already had her extra chances to make this right, so do not wait for the funds to go into the account.

Absolutely! Take the check to a branch of her bank to cash. They should be able to tell you if they can give you the money or if there are insufficient funds. Document everything (you kept a copy of the e-mail, right?) so that you can defend yourself just in case (horrors!) this ends up being escalated to HO or Small Claims Court.

 

[DebbieSAChef]

What a horrible woman!

I think I am going to cry! Here's the story, I'll try to keep it short. I did a show for a host (who was always difficult to get a hold of) and it turned into a $1000 show. The show was Nov 10 and many people wanted their items by Thanksgiving so the night of the deadline to have orders in by then I was closing the show over the phone with the host. Between her order and a last minure order she owed me $324. She said she would put it in the mail. Last week I still had not heard from her or received her check. When I finally got in touch with her she said she was mailing it that day. A week later still nothing. So, I called twice and left messages. There were a couple of items that were missing in her order that I had shipped to me (because I was worried about non payment) and told her on the messages that I would be a few doors down and could we please make an exchange that evening. No response. I finally emailed her (a month after the show) that I really couldn't wait any longer for the check to arrive in the mail and could I please pick it up. This money was my Christmas spending money and my husband was getting quite upset with me that I had sent the order in before I received the money. Still no response, so Yesterday the check arrived in the mail. I emailed her again that I had received it and I would be happy to bring her items (an hour away). She just called me and said "I just got my nasty email that you sent me that you couldn't wait for your money any longer. I was short items in the order and I think you were very rude. I left your check at work and wasn't in for almost a week because my daughter was in a car accident. And I really want you to come out right now and bring me my items." I apologized for seeming rude, but I didn't know about the car accident and I hoped that she was alright. I would not be able to bring the items until this evening (my son has chicken pox) but I would be happy to drop them off tonight. She said well I think this just about does it for my decission to never do a show with you again and I will be sure to tell everyone what a B***h you have been about it. Again, I apologized, but I really don't feel like I should have. (I am about the least pushy person you could ever meet. I mean how many people would wait for a month for their money) Is there anything I should do at this point to try to rectify the situation? What would you girls or guys have done?

First off I am so sorry you had to deal with such a horrible person. Second I think that you handled the situation in a professional manner and you did not need to apologize. Personally after she called me a b... I would have probably gotten upset and reminded her that she was the one who didn't send the money when it was due and I shouldn't have to pay for her products. Second she never called or emailed you to let you know about the accident or even had the common courtesy to have a friend or relative call you.
How some people think we consultants like to stay in limbo and can be forgotten or ignored is pathetic and rude. This is our business and if she went to Walmart or Target and walked out without paying, they wouldn't care if her daughter was in an accident or whatever excuses she could come up with. I hope you stay away from her and her friends and family. They might be bad news and inform her that YOU will not be doing business with her again.
Debbie

 

[cmdtrgd]

They might be bad news and inform her that YOU will not be doing business with her again.
Debbie

Debbie,

How do you word something like that? I know I would be petrified to say it just like that and afraid I would give PC consultants a bad name!

 

[DebbieSAChef]

Debbie,

How do you word something like that? I know I would be petrified to say it just like that and afraid I would give PC consultants a bad name!

There is no way to give other PC consultants a bad name when you are being honest and standing up for your reputation to someone who obviously is not honest or a person of integrity.
Here is how I would word something like this:

As a consultant I am required to try to make my hostess' job as simple as possible and try to encourage her to sell products in order for her to earn them for FREE or at a great discount. I also in the process try to make a friend, not just a customer. I have treated you with respect and with kindness by not demanding the money and driving to your home to ask for it. I have given you privacy and space even though I have spent over $300 of my own money to cover the cost of your guests products and your products. In this business hosts are responsible for collecting money with the orders and getting those to me. I cannot afford to pay for everyone's order and not get reimburse. You didn't keep up your end of the responsibility. I never knew about your daughter's accident and would have been more compassionate if you called to tell me and I would have even driven to your home to get the money to save you one less trip. I have done nothing wrong. You have chosen to insult me and threaten to bad mouth me to your friends and family. That is very unprofessional and I do not plan to have any more shows with you in the future. There was no communication on your part and I had no way of knowing you were in the middle of an emergency. I will be cashing the check to replentish my bank account. I hope your daughter gets better soon.Debbie

 

[cmdtrgd]

Debbie,Wow! What a great response!

 

[pamperedgirl3]

Debbie, I agree. That is a very good response. Very assertive, but not rude or mean.

 

[jwpamp]

"I left your check at work and wasn't in for almost a week because my daughter was in a car accident."

Ok, is it just me, or don't we all get more than ONE check when we order them from the bank? She could have obviously written you another check...

From my perspective, wash your hands of her QUICK! And, oh, by the way...they always get what's coming to them!

 

[jentapp]

I probably would have expressed my concern for her daughter, but I don't think I would have apologized for anything. You did NOTHING wrong!

SHE was supposed to get that money out THAT NIGHT, SHE had a full month to get that money to you (3 weeks of which were NOT spent in the hospital with her daughter), SHE didn't return any of your calls, SHE is the one who should be apologizing, NOT you! And if I were such a b*tch that she would never deal with again and would be slandering me all over town, you'd better believe that I would be mailing those packages to her, not driving an hour each way just to be abused at the door (if she's even home to receive them). SHE can wait just as she expected YOU to wait.

(Can you tell that I have a headache today? LOL)

 

[Rebeccascabinet]

Debbie,
Great response!

Sillylittlechef, I wouldn't worry too much about. I've had psycho hostesses too and I just refuse to do business with them again. Thats whats so great about being your own boss. You choose who you work with!

 

[sillylittlechef]

Thanks everyone for your great responses. I did deliver her products to her door, but she wasn't home. I left them on her doorstep, per her instructions. I did write a short note that explained that I would not be doing business with her in the future, but do not forget that you can use your past host discount with any consultant, and I even looked up the # and put it on the letter.. Kill em with kindness....that's my motto! I blessed and released. I will never deal with her again.
Thanks for all your support!!!!!! Love this website!

 

[sillylittlechef]

Just another update! Sad to say, this woman outright lied to me. Her daughter was never in a car accident. My friend who is a neighbor of this woman asked this (evil) woman's other daughter how her sister was doing? This little girl was confused. She said what do you mean, she's fine. Karen then said well, wasn't she in a car accident? The little girl said NO!!!!! She's fine she is at her boyfriends today.
I have been feeling bad for this lady and her daughter....even though the situation was not my fault, I felt bad that these people were going through something so horrible that it prevented them from paying bills for a week! Now, to find out that she made it all up. What kind of person uses their own child as an excuse for anything! UGHHHHH!!!!! Just goes to show that not everyone can be trusted and to be sure and get payment before the show closes!!!! Even if it means it will miss a deadline! Okay....now i am done with this lady and no longer have to feel guilty.

 

[jenniferknapp]

That is HORRIBLE!! I am happy that you never have to deal with her again!

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Just another update! Sad to say, this woman outright lied to me. Her daughter was never in a car accident. My friend who is a neighbor of this woman asked this (evil) woman's other daughter how her sister was doing? This little girl was confused. She said what do you mean, she's fine. Karen then said well, wasn't she in a car accident? The little girl said NO!!!!! She's fine she is at her boyfriends today.
I have been feeling bad for this lady and her daughter....even though the situation was not my fault, I felt bad that these people were going through something so horrible that it prevented them from paying bills for a week! Now, to find out that she made it all up. What kind of person uses their own child as an excuse for anything! UGHHHHH!!!!! Just goes to show that not everyone can be trusted and to be sure and get payment before the show closes!!!! Even if it means it will miss a deadline! Okay....now i am done with this lady and no longer have to feel guilty.

Wow! You would think that she would know that if you know the same people - the lie would eventually get back to you! Some people have no conscience!

 

[chefann]

OMG!!!

You do NOT need to be associating with this woman any more. Anyone who would lie like that has no morals.

At least you're done.

 

[sailortena]

I have had a couple of guests like that, who have ordered stuff from me at shows and "forgot their checkbook" or would "call me with payment" before the host's deadline. Needless to say I never get payment from them and I didn't submit their order. One lady even called me asking where her stuff was. I told her she didn't pay me for it, so I didn't order it. She was MAD! I told her she can order whenever she wanted something, but she had to pay for it first. She started to badmouth me over the phone, and I hung up on her. I scratched her off my list, very fast.

 

[chefann]

I have had a couple of guests like that, who have ordered stuff from me at shows and "forgot their checkbook" or would "call me with payment" before the host's deadline. Needless to say I never get payment from them and I didn't submit their order. One lady even called me asking where her stuff was. I told her she didn't pay me for it, so I didn't order it. She was MAD! I told her she can order whenever she wanted something, but she had to pay for it first.

Usually if you tell them that a store won't let them walk out with product without paying for it, they'll shut up. But then there are the folks who really dumb down the gene pool..... (Oh! Did I say that out loud? That was supposed to be my "inside the head" voice.)

 

[Teresa Lynn]

I lost a very good customer/host a few years ago because while she was delivering products one weekend her car was broken into and the products were stolen. She didn't want to mess with her insurance becasue of the deductible.
She insisted I replace the products or at least pay 1/2.
I very nicely informed her if it had been lost or stolen before she received it from UPS I could have helped her, but it was like going to Foleys or the bakery on the way to a shower having the cake and her gift stolen they weren't going to replace it either.
she didn't like my answer and refuses to do business with me.
Teresa

 

[pamperedgirl3]

You just can't make everyone happy! You just have to stick to your beliefs. We are running a business & yes, unfortunately some times bad things happen. But if it's not your fault, you shouldn't feel required to fix it!

 

[DebbieSAChef]

That is horrible!!

I lost a very good customer/host a few years ago because while she was delivering products one weekend her car was broken into and the products were stolen. She didn't want to mess with her insurance becasue of the deductible.
She insisted I replace the products or at least pay 1/2.
I very nicely informed her if it had been lost or stolen before she received it from UPS I could have helped her, but it was like going to Foleys or the bakery on the way to a shower having the cake and her gift stolen they weren't going to replace it either.
she didn't like my answer and refuses to do business with me.
Teresa

Well good for you. It's good to burn some bridges, I always say, and burn them for good. Making sure you not only burn the bridge but slash it to pieces as it's going down in flames!!! LOL

Having the products stolen and asking you to pay for them or even half is a slap in the face. If you would have told her that someone stole a shipment of PC products from your car for her, and she should pay half if outrageous. She didn't make a claim on her insurance, so that seems pretty suspicious to me. I always take responsibility for items when they are in my possession. I always stress to my kids that they need to be extra careful with other people's things. Because if it breaks, they will replace it!!

That's horrible having someone lie to you about their child getting into a car accident and then trying to cuss you out because you were not compassionate aobut their lie. In their psychotic mind they are thinking that you should be ashamed of yourself for acting that way, even though they are lying because if it did happen, this would have been your response.
I tell you some hosts deserve to be put in the funny farm!! Here is my list of bad hosts, it's funny and hopefully will give you a laugh!!

Debbie

 

[pamperedgirl3]

Very cute, Debbie!