Is it Wrong to Promote My Business in Church Mailslots?
- Thread starter DebbieJ
- Start date
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Discussion Overview
This thread centers around a participant's experience of distributing business catalogs in church mailslots and the subsequent backlash they faced, including a public announcement discouraging such actions. Participants share their personal experiences and perspectives on the appropriateness of promoting business within church settings.
Discussion Character
- Anecdotal
- Opinion-based
- Debate/contested
Main Points Raised
- One participant, identifying as a consultant, expressed frustration over receiving public criticism for distributing catalogs, feeling unsupported by the church community.
- Another participant shared their view that the church missed an opportunity for collaboration and fundraising by discouraging business promotions.
- Several users mentioned their own experiences with church policies regarding business promotions, noting varying levels of support or opposition.
- One participant highlighted the sensitivity surrounding business discussions in church environments, suggesting that many people may view such actions negatively.
- Another participant emphasized the importance of direct communication, suggesting that a private conversation would have been more appropriate than a public announcement.
- Some participants expressed sympathy for the original poster, affirming that their actions were not wrong and that they should not feel ashamed.
Areas of Agreement / Disagreement
Views differ on the appropriateness of promoting business in church settings, with some participants supporting the original poster's actions and others suggesting caution. No clear consensus emerges regarding the best approach to such situations.
Contextual Notes
Participants shared a range of experiences related to business promotion in church, reflecting diverse attitudes within different church communities. The discussion highlights the complexities of balancing personal business interests with community norms.
Who May Find This Useful
Consultants navigating similar situations in their own church communities may find the shared experiences and perspectives relevant to their circumstances.
PampMomof3
Gold Member
- 5,567
DebbieJ
- 10,849
PampMomof3 said:How was it today Deb?
It was okay. Of course no one else knew until they read the bulletin so no one treated me any differently. I got there about 5 mins before the service started and then left pretty quick because I went alone with DS today and didn't want him running around and getting all riled up before having to round him up to leave. (DH stayed home to study for Friday's actuarial exam). Plus I had a show this afternoon ($600 and 3 bookings
) so I had to go home and finish packing for that.It was very emotional for me--I cried on the way there and cried on the way home. I don't know why I even went. It just really hurts.
I am going to be writing a letter, so we'll see what happens. And I'm thinking I'll be worshipping somewhere else next week. Bedside Baptist perhaps??
jrstephens
- 7,085
Deb, I am sorry you were treated this way. I hope things get better for you soon. I would pray and seek God's guidance as to whether not this is the church for you with all of the problems you are having with this church.
I have always just ask the people I am close to in our church to order and not everyone. My situation is different in one way, that there are 2 consultant's in our church and I do not want people to feel like they are having to choose between the two of us. She has family and friends that I know will order from her and I ask my family and friends that attend and do not ask hers. Most everyone know I sale b/c I invited them to my first show and I leave it that if they want to order they will contact me.
I agree that it should not have been in the bulletin, but they should not have let you if your church had a problem with it.
This is probably the work of a few people not the body as a whole. I would defenitely let your church leaders know your feelings and how you would have understood with no problem if it had of been handle properly.
I have always just ask the people I am close to in our church to order and not everyone. My situation is different in one way, that there are 2 consultant's in our church and I do not want people to feel like they are having to choose between the two of us. She has family and friends that I know will order from her and I ask my family and friends that attend and do not ask hers. Most everyone know I sale b/c I invited them to my first show and I leave it that if they want to order they will contact me.
I agree that it should not have been in the bulletin, but they should not have let you if your church had a problem with it.
This is probably the work of a few people not the body as a whole. I would defenitely let your church leaders know your feelings and how you would have understood with no problem if it had of been handle properly.
raebates
Staff member
- 18,217
Deb, there's nothing wrong with taking a little time to lick your wounds and heal a bit while making the decision to leave your congregation or before beginning the search for a new one. I encourage you, though, not to take too long away from corporate worship. It's easy to get out of the habit of going.
My pastor often points out that we don't go to church to worship. We are supposed to be doing that personally on a daily basis. We go to church to worship together--to share in the joy of the Lord with others. (Though it sounds as though, like us, you may need to change locations to do that.)
I'd invite you to our church home, but a 4-hour drive (1 way) is probably a bit much on the average Sunday morning.
My pastor often points out that we don't go to church to worship. We are supposed to be doing that personally on a daily basis. We go to church to worship together--to share in the joy of the Lord with others. (Though it sounds as though, like us, you may need to change locations to do that.)
I'd invite you to our church home, but a 4-hour drive (1 way) is probably a bit much on the average Sunday morning.
jrstephens
- 7,085
DebbieJ said:It was very emotional for me--I cried on the way there and cried on the way home. I don't know why I even went. It just really hurts.
I am going to be writing a letter, so we'll see what happens. And I'm thinking I'll be worshipping somewhere else next week. Bedside Baptist perhaps??
Please, do not go to Bedside Baptist! Do not let this discourage you from other churches. God does not want this for you!
If it is this bad, I do agree that that you need may need to look into changing churches. Just make sure you research the church you change to, to make sure they are a Bible doctrine church.
I would go to your pastor first and try to talk this out. And maybe get to the bottom of the situation and deal directly with the source of the problem.
I am a Baptist and was about to ask you if you were. We tend to shoot our wounded more than any body.
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cmdtrgd
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Shawnna
Gold Member
- 2,372
It is very true that you should continue to go to church until you make your decision. Once we begin missing church, it becomes easier and easier not to go and before you know it we don't go at all. Yes, we go to church to worship together and to "eat". We must be spiritually fed...by the pastor's sermon, by the music, by Sunday School, and by those around us. But, most importantly, I feel that we go to church to be a blessing to others. Who knows what person you will impact with a kind word, smile, handshake, or something you say during Sunday School. I will be praying for you and the decision you have to make.
DebbieSAChef
- 2,144
SorryI am really sorry this situation was handled in this way. It was wrong and obviously some people at this church don't know how to make a phone call or sit someone down to discuss why this is not appropriate in the church. People are afraid of confrontation or offending people so they ignore it or handle it in a bad way to make the matters worst.
I don't think it's not appropriate but I understand how it might not be a good thing if there are people with their own businesses, all wanting to advertise. It wouldn't be fair to allow one person to advertise, then everyone would want to do it too, and I don't think that a church bulletin is the right place for it. I think that they should have a special place in the church or even on a website where people can see other church member's businesses and can call them if they need something. Our homeschool group has a special section just for this, so no one feels left out but also so no one solicits everyone on the website. Some people just don't like that and you can't please everyone.
I think it stinks when you get some work done on your car, or get something done at your home (plumbing, electrical, etc) when someone in the church later comes up and tells you they would have been happy to help and charged you a lot less. If you only knew!!
The church is our family, or should be, and to advertise what you do or what you can offer is great! My church is small so everyone knows I am the PC lady. Some people would love to know about other people's businesses, I know I would.
Remember not everyone in the church is a Christian. It takes more to be a Christian than just attending church, and unfortunately some of the "tares" that sit among the wheat offend and hurt people who are in the church and "Christians" in general get labeled as bad, or fake, or hypocrites!
Debbie
I don't think it's not appropriate but I understand how it might not be a good thing if there are people with their own businesses, all wanting to advertise. It wouldn't be fair to allow one person to advertise, then everyone would want to do it too, and I don't think that a church bulletin is the right place for it. I think that they should have a special place in the church or even on a website where people can see other church member's businesses and can call them if they need something. Our homeschool group has a special section just for this, so no one feels left out but also so no one solicits everyone on the website. Some people just don't like that and you can't please everyone.
I think it stinks when you get some work done on your car, or get something done at your home (plumbing, electrical, etc) when someone in the church later comes up and tells you they would have been happy to help and charged you a lot less. If you only knew!!
The church is our family, or should be, and to advertise what you do or what you can offer is great! My church is small so everyone knows I am the PC lady. Some people would love to know about other people's businesses, I know I would.
Remember not everyone in the church is a Christian. It takes more to be a Christian than just attending church, and unfortunately some of the "tares" that sit among the wheat offend and hurt people who are in the church and "Christians" in general get labeled as bad, or fake, or hypocrites!
Debbie
GeorgiaPeach
Silver Member
- 1,367
DebbieJ, You are receiving alot of great encouragement and suggestions. I encourage you to take a few days to take some deep breaths and take in all that is being said here.
If you choose to go elsewhere, make sure it is a decision that isn't made in haste, out of hurt. Remember that EVERY church has some problem or some busybody. You might be jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire!
As a pastor's wife, I also encourage you to speak with your pastor. Many times people leave the church over a misunderstanding or hurt feelings and they don't give the leadership a chance to address the situation. We had a family leave our church last year and they refused to talk to my husband (or anyone from the church) to explain what had happened. It finally came out that they were upset that no one came to visit when she came home from the hospital. The problem was that THEY didn't call the church and tell us she had surgery!
I realize this isn't exactly your situation but sometimes we think the pastor knows everything that is going on and many times he is the LAST to know! Talking to him and sharing your hurt can help him minister better to the congregation so this doesn't happen to others.
If you choose to go elsewhere, make sure it is a decision that isn't made in haste, out of hurt. Remember that EVERY church has some problem or some busybody. You might be jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire!
As a pastor's wife, I also encourage you to speak with your pastor. Many times people leave the church over a misunderstanding or hurt feelings and they don't give the leadership a chance to address the situation. We had a family leave our church last year and they refused to talk to my husband (or anyone from the church) to explain what had happened. It finally came out that they were upset that no one came to visit when she came home from the hospital. The problem was that THEY didn't call the church and tell us she had surgery!
I realize this isn't exactly your situation but sometimes we think the pastor knows everything that is going on and many times he is the LAST to know! Talking to him and sharing your hurt can help him minister better to the congregation so this doesn't happen to others.
GeorgiaPeach
Silver Member
- 1,367
mrssyvo
- 1,929
Deb, Why don't you join me this Sunday. I am not very far from you, I don't think, and It would give you a chance to sit back, and enjoy the service, without worrying about what others are thinking. I go to church right in my neighborhood, and it is Just North of Downer's Grvoe, (literaly across the street)
jrstephens
- 7,085
GeorgiaPeach said:My husband likes to say that "going to church doesn't make you a Christian, anymore than going to McDonald's makes you a hamburger".
Your husband is correct going to church is not what makes you a Christian. I love his saying for it!! I will have to "borrow" it if he does not mind!
jrstephens
- 7,085
GeorgiaPeach said:
What do you mean the Pastor does not know everything! He is paid to DO ALL things without having to know - he is suppose to have a 6th sense or something to let him know the things people do not tell him!!!
I get so aggravated when people expect the Pastor to do the jobs of about 10 people and show up to preach and teach on Sunday and Wednesday. And then get mad is he does not do something he does not know he needs to do!
Not to hijack this thread or anything! Sorry!
GeorgiaPeach
Silver Member
- 1,367
GeorgiaPeach
Silver Member
- 1,367
jrstephens said:What do you mean the Pastor does not know everything! He is paid to DO ALL things without having to know - he is suppose to have a 6th sense or something to let him know the things people do not tell him!!!
I get so aggravated when people expect the Pastor to do the jobs of about 10 people and show up to preach and teach on Sunday and Wednesday. And then get mad is he does not do something he does not know he needs to do!
Not to hijack this thread or anything! Sorry!
LOL! You are preaching to the choir!! Yesterday a lady came up to me and said Rich looked so tired when she saw him on Friday night. I wanted to say that's what happens when you work all day and then get called to come open the church for someone (who doesn't have a key!) 5 nights out of 7!
Shawnna
Gold Member
- 2,372
It is true that the pastor may not know what is going on. He may be wondering why that is in there. However, I would hope that the pastor would see the bulliten before it is fully printed. I feel that the pastor should approve everything. He is our shepherd and it is his job to protect his flock. He can't always do that. I have the most wonderful pastor and pastor's wife. They visit the sick, preach, go to hospitals and nursing homes...you name it they do it. They are very dedicated. And, we do not print or do anything without discussing it with him first.
People expect the pastor to know and do everything, but they can't always do that. They are human just like we are. They get their feelings hurt and get upset at people for the way they behave. They are held to a much higher standard. Their children are expected to behave much better than everyone elses. Hello....they are all people. Their children are just like ours. They make mistakes too. We are all in the same boat here. And, it is not just the pastor's job to visit people and make sure everyone is doing okay. That is our job too. Jesus is our Heavenly Shepherd and we are all his flock. The pastor is the shepherd over his church and the congregation is his flock. We are the sheep. If you want to see changes in your church...growth, more ministry, etc. get out and work and minister to people. Shepherds don't produce sheep...the sheep produce more sheep. We need to all get busy. This whole situation is just one more proof that Jesus is coming back soon. I firmly believe we are living in the end times...I am not a doomsday person, but you can look around and see the signs everywhere. Going to church does not make you a Christian. And, those people will have to answer someday for their behavior.
I would also suggest that you talk to your pastor. Who knows, it may be the person who prints the bulliten that has the problem and the pastor may need to know in order to see that it doesn't happen again. Bullitens are no in place to chastise people. They are there for information and news about the church.
People expect the pastor to know and do everything, but they can't always do that. They are human just like we are. They get their feelings hurt and get upset at people for the way they behave. They are held to a much higher standard. Their children are expected to behave much better than everyone elses. Hello....they are all people. Their children are just like ours. They make mistakes too. We are all in the same boat here. And, it is not just the pastor's job to visit people and make sure everyone is doing okay. That is our job too. Jesus is our Heavenly Shepherd and we are all his flock. The pastor is the shepherd over his church and the congregation is his flock. We are the sheep. If you want to see changes in your church...growth, more ministry, etc. get out and work and minister to people. Shepherds don't produce sheep...the sheep produce more sheep. We need to all get busy. This whole situation is just one more proof that Jesus is coming back soon. I firmly believe we are living in the end times...I am not a doomsday person, but you can look around and see the signs everywhere. Going to church does not make you a Christian. And, those people will have to answer someday for their behavior.
I would also suggest that you talk to your pastor. Who knows, it may be the person who prints the bulliten that has the problem and the pastor may need to know in order to see that it doesn't happen again. Bullitens are no in place to chastise people. They are there for information and news about the church.
janetupnorth
Gold Member
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DebbieJ
- 10,849
Part of the problem is that we don't have a pastor right now. 
Our pastor of 17 years left in the summer of 2005. We had an interim pastor for about 8 months or so. He left in January to take another position. We have called a pastor and he accepted the call, but he is coming from Denver and has to sell his house first and finish up his ministry there. So we have visiting pastors preaching every Sunday and our church council is in charge of the day to day, week to week operations. It's very trying.
I had coffee with a woman I consider my mentor this morning. She has children my age. She is one of the people keeping us there. She is so wise and encouraging. We help plan worship together and in the course of plannign worship, we talk about so much more. We talked about the situation and she encouraged me to call versus writing a letter. The bulletin announcement named which elder we should go to with questions about it so I will call him. I feel comfortable talking openly with him and have gone to him about other issues as well.
I know deciding to leave should not be a hasty decision. I just don't know how much more I can take....my saying I want to leave is a reflection of the hurt I feel. I know I need to do something with it and leaving isn't necessarily the right answer.
Thank you to those of you who have offered to pray for me and who have encouraged me to pray. You have show so much support!! This board is amazing!!!
Our pastor of 17 years left in the summer of 2005. We had an interim pastor for about 8 months or so. He left in January to take another position. We have called a pastor and he accepted the call, but he is coming from Denver and has to sell his house first and finish up his ministry there. So we have visiting pastors preaching every Sunday and our church council is in charge of the day to day, week to week operations. It's very trying.
I had coffee with a woman I consider my mentor this morning. She has children my age.
She is one of the people keeping us there. She is so wise and encouraging. We help plan worship together and in the course of plannign worship, we talk about so much more. We talked about the situation and she encouraged me to call versus writing a letter. The bulletin announcement named which elder we should go to with questions about it so I will call him. I feel comfortable talking openly with him and have gone to him about other issues as well. I know deciding to leave should not be a hasty decision. I just don't know how much more I can take....my saying I want to leave is a reflection of the hurt I feel. I know I need to do something with it and leaving isn't necessarily the right answer.
Thank you to those of you who have offered to pray for me and who have encouraged me to pray. You have show so much support!! This board is amazing!!!
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andahuff
- 2
A great opportunityI read your post and understand your frustration. I have noticed in myself that these very moments that make me so angry are sometimes those that I learn the most even if I dont recognize the opportunity at first.
As I was reading it, I couldn't help but think of what a wonderful opportunity this presented. You could take this chance to talk to people and simply ask for forgiveness. In doing so you could tell them how excited you are about your business and how you did not realize that anyone would be offended. It might offer you a great chance share PC with the people there in this way.
Also, remember most people are worried about themselves and their own situations and don't spend much time thinking about yours! If you can get the names of those directly involved and speak with them one on one, I am certain that you will find peace in this situation. Just remember, blessed are the peacemakers and you CAN make it a positive!
As I was reading it, I couldn't help but think of what a wonderful opportunity this presented. You could take this chance to talk to people and simply ask for forgiveness. In doing so you could tell them how excited you are about your business and how you did not realize that anyone would be offended. It might offer you a great chance share PC with the people there in this way.
Also, remember most people are worried about themselves and their own situations and don't spend much time thinking about yours! If you can get the names of those directly involved and speak with them one on one, I am certain that you will find peace in this situation. Just remember, blessed are the peacemakers and you CAN make it a positive!
DebbieJ
- 10,849
So I finally got a hold of one of our elders today.
I explained that I was really hurt by the announcement and felt like it was reprimanding me b/c I had just placed catalogs in mailboxes the week before.
He told me the issue came up in the ministry board meeting last week and that complaints were received but no one person's business was mentioned specifically. He said they felt the best course of action was to do a blanket announcement. They talked about finding out who had done the solicitations and individually calling the "offenders" but didn't want to do that and then have someone else who wasn't called distribute flyers the next week and think it was okay.
I pointed out that the wording of the announcement could have been a bit gentler and friendlier and again reminded him how hurt I was by it.
He apologized.
I suggested that we create a business directory for our church and he really liked that idea. So that would give us an avenue for exposure and referrals without having to "solicit."
He did say it was okay to continue to put PC stuff in boxes for people who are already my customers. They just don't want me or anyone to use them to drum up business. Make sense?
So an okay resolution in the end. I can see his POV and I hope he can see mine, too.
I am still undecided about staying there. Time will tell. I am not going anywhere tomorrow, though, cuz we are getting a huge ice storm right now!
I explained that I was really hurt by the announcement and felt like it was reprimanding me b/c I had just placed catalogs in mailboxes the week before.
He told me the issue came up in the ministry board meeting last week and that complaints were received but no one person's business was mentioned specifically. He said they felt the best course of action was to do a blanket announcement. They talked about finding out who had done the solicitations and individually calling the "offenders" but didn't want to do that and then have someone else who wasn't called distribute flyers the next week and think it was okay.
I pointed out that the wording of the announcement could have been a bit gentler and friendlier and again reminded him how hurt I was by it.
He apologized.
I suggested that we create a business directory for our church and he really liked that idea. So that would give us an avenue for exposure and referrals without having to "solicit."
He did say it was okay to continue to put PC stuff in boxes for people who are already my customers. They just don't want me or anyone to use them to drum up business. Make sense?
So an okay resolution in the end. I can see his POV and I hope he can see mine, too.
I am still undecided about staying there. Time will tell. I am not going anywhere tomorrow, though, cuz we are getting a huge ice storm right now!
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Jules711
Silver Member
- 1,929
I'm glad that this is being resolved for you...or at least explained. It sounds like your discomfort may lead to something good with a directory though. We have to remember that we are all human and it's easy to get riled up or angry/offended quickly without thinking of what the person's intent really was (talking of them not you). We are all guilty of it at times with road rage or impatience with someone, whatever. You never know what is going on in someone's life or how a comment from us can hurt. You've helped remind of all of that. They thought they were doing it the "nice" way. I love that there are a bunch of Christians in here supporting each other. I'm new to the website and love it!!
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