Finding the Right Church: A Catholic's Quest for Community and Connection

[sfdavis918]

I am really wanting to get back into a church but I'm not sure that the church I grew up in is right for me. I am Catholic and the church that my family went to is great for services. I am looking for a church with a bit more though. I really want to feel the family side of a church too. Granted I haven't been to my church in quite some time, but when I did attend it seemed like most of the ones attending were much older than me. I would say 90% of those that are active in the extra-cirricular activities are all in their 60's. While I love all of these people, I just don't think that I can relate to where they are in life, and vice versa.

My son goes to a preschool that is at a Lutheran church. I have no idea how the Lutheran faith differs from Catholic. (Does anyone have any info?) This church seems to have what I am looking for as far as the family aspect. I am interested in checking out their services as well.

If you were in my situation what would you do? I don't want to make a rash decision based on just my interaction with this one church. I also don't want to continue not going to church just because of my childhood church.

If you have made it this far, thanks for reading. I guess I just want to talk it out, but I'm not really sure what kind of information to give or what to ask.

Thanks!

 

[Christ Follower]

There is nothing wrong with "shopping around" for a church. Not all churches fit everyone's tastes, etc. The bottom line is that whatever church you choose should preach the Word and the Spirit. Without that, the other things don't matter. I know that some of my friends go to a different church because they like a more traditional style worship. That is totally fine because that church still preaches the fundamental principles. Our neighbor's have gone to about 6 different churches trying to find which one "fits" them.

Good luck!


(I should also add that you can't always judge how a church is by going to one service. I'd give it time before making a decision)

 

[bsaxman]

Pray about it and ask God to send you to the right church! He will. Don't be afraid to do some church hopping... or church "visiting" rather! My husband is non-denominational and so am I, but I was attending an Assembly of God church... he didn't care for the service, so we searched and prayed for a few months before we found exactly where we needed to be! Now we are a part of a church that we both enjoy and can relate to. Most of all, don't give up the search! Also alot of churches these days have a "church 101" class, at least many that I've visited in MY AREA have this, so ask the pastor or a church administrator about a "welcome class" and you should be able to go, ask questions about the church and their beliefs, etc. and get info that will help you decide if your beliefs line up with theirs! You're in my thoughts! Let us know how it goes!

 

[susanr613]

It looks to me like you've gotten a good start, by identifying what you want from a church. I think that's really important when looking around for any house or worship. Here's what I looked for when it was time to find a synagogue; keep in mind that I am not a fervently faithful person, so my list may seem a bit pragmatic.
- alignment with your current beliefs and values, or do you want to move in a different direction? For example, do you want to stick with Catholic beliefs or are you ok with moving away from some of their core beliefs/rituals. This may change over time too
- community not just age groups but also will you feel comfortable worshipping/socializing with these people? That was a huge factor in my choice.
- education programs for kids and adults
- the service and liturgy. I grew up in a synagogue with no musical instruments, just singing. Even though I love music, I am still wierded out when musical instruments are played at a synagogue service.
- The clergy. My synagogue had a wonderful woman rabbi when I joined. Now we have a rabbi who is scholarly, which is good, but he is NOT a spiritual leader and NOT good at all with kids. This has really affected my attitude and I hope I'm not showing it to DS.

I'm sure the more observant/faithful people here can give you more great ideas.

On a final note, I think it's great that you are doing this. I did a few years ago and it was like coming to a safe place and feeling like I was home.

Enjoy the journey!

 

[lkprescott]

Shop around... so to speak. Talk with the ministers and pastors of the various churches you'd like to 'interview'. Seek out information from members about their family inclusiveness and extra-curricular options. Find out about their RE offerings (both adult and children) and ask to see past rundowns/syllabus outlines and such to see if it's a mesh with what you're looking for. Let greeters and those who matter there know you're shopping around for a church. I've only belonged to one 'actual' church (plenty of spiritual groups - just not so organized) but that's how we approached it. We went several Sundays to see how we liked the services.. we met the pastor.. we also met several layleaders (it was a UU fellowship which relied heavily on layleaders which was actually a lot of fun) and we got feedback from our kids who spent time back in RE. We ended up joining and pledging and all that... it fit us for a time. Don't know how mainstream religious folks do it but I've always told my kids that if they get an interest in religions or spiritual paths other than our own, we'd be there to help them 'shop around' and find the best 'deal'... I hate to use retail terms of course but with such a variety of churches offering various things beyond Sunday services, it's important to know where you'll end up putting your time, energy and yes, money into. So go, check 'em out... if you like their message, messenger and what they stand for, then perhaps that's for you. If not, keep looking... the beauty of our country is how many religions, denominations, spiritual paths and traditions are ripe for the picking... search with your mind, heart and spirit open and you'll surely find a match.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Some wags would say the only difference between Lutheran and Catholic is that priests can't get married.Were I you, I'd just go church shopping. Find out what churches are in your area, and investigate what their beliefs and standards are. Baptists? United Church of Christ? (UCC was formed by the merger of the Congregational, Methodist and German Reformed churches in 1958.) Check 'em out. Attend their services. See who's friendly and welcoming, see who's as interested in you as you are in them.Are they modern with more liberal thinking, are they conservative, or are they steeped in tradition? What do you prefer and to what degree? Are they traditional hymns with an organ or contemporary with a piano or maybe even electric guitars? An interview with the presiding clergy might be able to answer those questions before you ever attend a service.My little church has been around since 1843, it has several multi-generational families as members and is currently wrestling with leaving the past and stepping forward to become a more contemporary church. The Kat Lady works for an inner city church that has an entirely different issue set. There's a lot out there - check 'em out and see what you like.

 

[twinkie10]

I would suggest first finding out what you believe or what the Catholics believe and then do some good ole soul searching. Like most others have suggested you want to visit churches, but the most important thing is to pray about it. He will lead you if you are willing to follow. Be prepared if it's a place you least expected! And, be prepared to wash the whole slate and start over if God has revealed to you that you've been taught wrong all these years. It happens!!! Our beliefs (convictions) are not necessarily what is true, but perhaps just a belief because that is all we've known.

The Church MUST preach the Word and not their own doctrines. Take what they say and search it out in the scriptures! And, PRAY about it!!!

With that being said, there are MANY churches, MANY beliefs, but there is only ONE TRUE WORD!!! Pray and search.... God knows your heart and will lead you and your family!

 

[Shawnna]

Pray and ask God for guidance. He will lead you where He wants you to go. That being said, you have to be willing to go where He sends you. Sometimes we "run from God"...so to speak. The only way to hear God's voice is to spend time with Him...talking to Him and listening to Him. Don't get in a hurry...sometimes it takes time. It doesn't hurt to visit churches, but don't make a decision on one or two visits...unless they just don't preach God's word. All church denominations have different doctrines...most are similar to each other. I was raised Baptist, but have gone to an Assembly of God for the past 9 years. There is a lot of the same doctrine, but several differences. My first impression of a pentecostal church was that it was a little scary and the people were crazy, but over time and study of the word I have learned that there is nothing to be scared of and that these people are not crazy...it is all there listed in the book of Acts. Don't let something scare you away. Study it out in the word. The main thing is that they preach the Word of God and the love of Jesus. After that it is all up to you.

 

[brendaivette]

Church:thumbup: Amen!! The Lord is touching you already!!!! I was a Catholic all my life and when HE called me it was to a different church................Actually I was going to a Mothers Day activity last yr, unknowingly i went earlier and it was service time.........10 minutes into the service, that was it............I was crying hysterical but it felt wonderful..............was there for a few months and then visited another church and I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It is non-denominational, but I go for fill that thirst for knowledge that i now have for our Lord!!!!

HE will guide you, be sure!!!!!

 

[raebates]

I'd like to add a suggestion. Do you know people you consider to be good Christians? Ones who are living their faith every day? If so, ask them where they attend. Chances are good that they are attending churches that encourage spiritual growth and personal responsibility. Styles can vary, so you'll want to find one that suits your personality. However, the basics of good, solid Bible teaching and discipleship should be there, too.

 

[janetupnorth]

I just got home from a long day, so the only thing I have to add is to read the part I always have bolded in my signature...

 

[nicki25]

When we were looking for a church we visited a couple but found a church that preached from the bible. To me it is more about having & growing a relationship with Christ and not about what denomination that I go to.