Prayers for Shawnna & Husband's Foster Child Adoption Consideration

[Shawnna]

I would like for all of you to help me pray about something. My husband and I are considering adopting a 4 year old girl who is a foster child in our church. She is a beautiful little girl, very smart. She has been in this foster home for a year or so. Before that she was in and out of this same home and her mom's home. She was removed from the home for neglect...no sexual or physical abuse, her mom just loves drugs more than her child. She is a happy child. I teach her in children's church and have no discipline problems with her. When she first came into our church I fell in love with her instantly and told my husband I wanted her in our family...but really figured she would go home and that would be the end of it. My husband loves her but has reservations about either playing favorites to her over our "baby"...he is 11...or playing favorites to our own children. I don't think that he would ever do that. He loves children and treats all the children in our church as though they were his. He is/was a teacher and really has a heart for children. Our own children are 17, 14, and 11. We want God's will in this situation. We do not want her to go to a home where she doesn't know anyone and we don't want her in a home that isn't Christian. She loves to go to church. So, I would appreciate your prayers in this situation.

Thanks,

Shawnna

 

[PamperedChefDebi]

Oh Shawnna, you and your husband both have beautiful hearts. You will be in my prayers. But it sounds like you already know where she's supposed to be.

 

[quiverfull7]

What a huge decision. I'll say a prayer for you.

 

[yummybytes]

Praying for all of you. Have you discussed it with your children yet? What are their feelings?

 

[chefkristin]

Follow your heart! There are prayers coming your way. The world needs more beautiful people like you!

 

[raebates]

You have my prayers. Children are a blessing, no matter how they come into our lives.

 

[jrstephens]

I will pray for you and Your Family; and for God to give you complete peace about what to do for you, your family and this little girl.

 

[dianevill]

Your family is in my prayers!

 

[julyskitchen]

"Your talent is God's gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God...."

It sounds like your gift is LOVE and your wanting to share the Love and Family with this little girl is pricelss.

My prayers for you and your family...Good luck with it all

 

[bbenton4]

Praying for YouShawnna,

My prayers are with you. It is a very difficult decision. My husband and I started the adoption process in January to adopt a 13 year old from Russia. I met my son on a mission trip in 2005. We are so excited. If it feels right in your heart and you have spent time in prayer then trust where God is leading you. We were also concerned about how it would affect our 16 and 13 year old but we know that it will all work out if we are in God's will. I started with the Pampered Chef to make extra money for the adoption and it has been a blast. God bless you.

 

[mommyhugz1978]

Your family is in my prayers

 

[TwinGirlsMom]

We want God's will in this situation.

Your answer is already found in Scriptures: James 1:27--The religion that God, our Father, accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress...

Here is another quote I hold close to my heart: Adoption is not about finding children for families, it's about finding families for children.~ Joyce Maguire Pavao.

I'm VERY passionate about adoption. It is the unwanted children that hurt my heart. The quotes above say it all. I encourage you to go for it!

 

[MomToEli]

Lord, please give your guidance to this family as they seek Your will for their lives as well as the life of this little girl. If it is not your plan for them to adopt her, please remove the desire from their hearts. You are God, and You above all know what is best for all concerned. You have promised wisdom to those who seek it. Thank you for your sovereignty in this and all matters. Thank you for caring about ALL the details of our lives, both large and small.

 

[Shawnna]

Thanks so much for all of your prayers. I knew I could count on you. We have not discussed this with many people...only a select few who will pray with us. We have discused it with our oldest children. My oldest son has no problem with it because he says she is little and needs a place. My daughter has been wanting it since the little girl came to church the first time. She has always wanted a sister and she is very close with the little girl...Shakia. We have not discussed it with our youngest. He is 11. Any time we talk about getting a new baby he says "NO, I am the baby". But he has a good heart and plays with Shakia at church. He hugs her and chases her. When he realizes she won't take anything away from him he will be fine. He is a special little boy. He loves God and will do anything for anyone. He rarely needs discipline. I don't think it will be a problem. We haven't discussed it with him because we don't know anything to tell him. When we get more information and know for sure what God wants then we will discuss it with him. He is obviously my biggest concern because he is our baby. In all honesty I did not want a third child. I was young and tired. When I found out I was expecting I cried for days. But, he has been such a blessing to us. I know God has something big planned for his life.

Thanks again for your prayers.

 

[holly1594]

You and your family are in my prayers!

 

[Shawnna]

Just to update you on this. My husband is getting more and more interested/excited about the prospect of adopting this little girl. She is really on my heart and mind lately. We are going to ask her foster mom if she can spend the afternoon with us tomorrow between church services. We are going to my Sister-N-Laws for lunch and to visit with my husband's family. Our oldest son is gone for the next week and my daughter will be gone the next week, but we are going to sit down as a family and discuss it when she returns. As I said before, I have already discussed the situation with the older two, so the discussion will really be for our youngest child.

 

[quiverfull7]

May God continue to guide you as you work through the process... It sure seems He's already knit a place for her in your loving family... God bless you all!

 

[Paula R. Lewis]

WOW! What a neat thing! I wish you all the best! In addition to having her come over for the day, maybe she could have a "sleep-over" with your kids? This would give your youngest a better visual of how life might be with another child in your home....not to mention, you and your husband!

Please keep us posted!
Paula

 

[Shawnna]

Well, I had my first set back...and honestly I felt like my heart was ripped out. I called this morning to ask foster mom about her spending the day with us. Foster mom is an older lady in our church who happens to be a friend...I am very good friends with her daughters. Foster mom says no she cannot spend the day with us. Then she says "if you adopt her you will have her forever and I won't". And then proceeds to tell me she wants her daughter to adopt the little girl. Her daughter has actually already been approved by DHS. But, daughter told me she didn't want to adopt her because she was having too much trouble with her own daughter who doesn't want her to adopt. So, needless to say I was quite shocked. When Shakia first came I fell in love with her and told my husband I wanted to adopt her. Then my friend said she and her husband were going to adopt her so I backed off. Since then she and her husband has gotten a divorce, her daughter is an emotional wreck over the whole situation...refuses to go to school, is on several medications to calm her nerves, yells at her mom...just a lot of problems. So my friend told me she couldn't adopt Shakia and she thought it would be great if we did because she would still be in church and they would get to see her, she would be well provided for, etc. So, once again I talked to my husband about it. At this point I am glad we didn't talk to our youngest. I can't handle back and forth stuff. I have to think about my kids. I don't want them torn over the situation. So, my husband and I will continue to pray and see what happens. I shouldn't have let myself get so excited about it this early I guess. But I know they want to do a fast adoption for her. I will just have to sit back and wait and trust God. He knows what is best.

Thanks for letting me vent. I can't do that at home.

 

[katie0128]

Your answer is already found in Scriptures: James 1:27--The religion that God, our Father, accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress...

Here is another quote I hold close to my heart: Adoption is not about finding children for families, it's about finding families for children.~ Joyce Maguire Pavao.

I'm VERY passionate about adoption. It is the unwanted children that hurt my heart. The quotes above say it all. I encourage you to go for it!

My favorite is to tell an adopted child that "You didn't grow in my tummy, you grew in my heart."

Shawnna, you have a big decision - one that will (and already has) required lots of prayer, patience, understanding, gentleness (hey... it's the gifts of the spirit - really didn't mean to do that, guess God is typing right now!) Anyway, whether it be a door or window, God will open the right one when it is time and you'll know what to do! Until then, I'm honored to be able to provide encouragement to you!

 

[raebates]

Shawnna, you'll remain in my prayers.

 

[Shawnna]

Children are a blessing from God. I can't imagine a mother...or a father...not wanting their child. It is really sad. We have 4 foster moms in our church. Two of them are single ladies who are older. I see a lot of children come through our church and they are hurting. I personally do not have confidence in the system we have, but don't know any way to change it.

I personally am adopted by my daddy. My mother had me when she was a senior in high school and my "real" dad didn't want anything to do with her after that...I have a half sister who is 10 months younger than I am and he married her mom. My daddy started trying to date my mom when she was pregnant. He stayed around until he was called to Vietnam. When he came back they married and he adopted me. He has truly been the best dad I could ever want. When I found out I was adopted I didn't care because I knew how much he loved me and took care of me. My "real" dad lives in the same town, but does not acknowledge that I am his or that he has 3 beautiful grandchildren. I don't care. I know we are better off where we are.

I thank you for the scriptures. I have a children's ministry. I know that God has called me to work with children. I love it. I also have a degree in child development. I love to see positive changes in the lives of children.

Thanks for your prayers. Yesterday I was very emotional and had a really hard time making it through the day. But today, I really have a peace in my heart about it whatever happens. I do plan to talk to my friend this week and tell her I need to know where she stands because I have to think about my own family too...and myself. Please pray that God will intervene for this little girl and her in the best possible situation/home. I know that he already knows where she is going and what is best for her. And, please pray for me to continue to have peace about the situation no matter what happens.

Katie...I believe 100% in the gifts of the spirit. I am always so awe-struck by the way he works.

 

[Shawnna]

okay, just thought I would fill you in on the newest development. We have been praying about God's will in this situation. Last week the Choctaw Nation stepped in with approved adoptive parents for this little girl. She has a CDIB card and preference will be given to Native American's with a CDIB card. I knew she was native american, but hadn't thought about The Nation stepping in. My husband and I do not have a card. We are working on gathering that information, but it is a long process. At this point it looks like she will be adopted soon. We are still praying. We love her very much, but I have a peace about the whole situation now. So, no matter what happens I know that God is in control of the situation and working out what is best for everyone concerned. We still have one more thing to do, so that we will have done everything in our power to adopt her. We want to make sure we have done our part. I know God expects us to do everything we are suppose to do while he is taking care of us. I appreciate the prayers and ask that you continue to pray for us and her. If she goes with this other family it will be hard for her because she has only met them once...last week. Whatever happens I know she will adjust and be fine. Thanks again for your prayers.

 

[pampchefrhondab]

You are in my prayers.

You're right, God is in the middle of this and what is meant to me will happen.

 

[Bexamo]

May God Bless You with the wisdom and insight of His will for Shakia's life. I know He is well pleased with you and your family for your generous and loving hearts and desire to take action to ensure that this little angel is well-loved and provided-for. I pray that His voice is clearly heard and that everyone involved in this child's life receive His peace and blessings.

 

[Shawnna]

Okay, I thought I would give you the outcome on all of this. First I want to thank you all for your prayers and kind words.

Shakia went to live with her new family yesterday. Basically once the Choctaw Nation stepped in we didn't have a chance at adopting her. But, I feel God has released me from that. I have a peace that she is in a loving home where she will be well taken care of and have a wonderful life. She has 3 new brothers and a wonderful set of parents. I have a feeling she will be very spoiled...LOL We will miss her, but I know God has her best interest...and ours...at heart and we don't know what is down the road for us.

So, this chapter in our lives is closed. We have a lot of wonderful memories and she was a blessing to our family while she was here.

Thanks again for your support.

 

[pampchefrhondab]

Shawnna,

Thank you so much for the update. I've been thinking about you.

It sounds like she will have a wonderful life.

God bless you and your family for considering adopting her.

 

[AJPratt]

Shawnna, what a wonderful gift to give someone!