Is It Wrong to Call Their Mother?

[finley1991]

Since I don't have kids of my own, I'm not sure the protocol for this...

We have a pool in the back yard. At it's deepest point it's 15ft deep. It's snowing today and obviously the pool has been covered for months. Three neighbor kids jumped our fence and were running around the pool and started to get onto the cover. I went out and asked them not to go on the cover and to not play in our yard. (Everyone has 3/4 acres here so there is PLENTY of room to play in everyone's yard). The problem is, if they get on the cover, they will go right through. We don't drain our pool and if they go in, they will go under. So I asked the boys to not play in our yard and not to jump the fence.

Here's the question... do I call their mothers and let them know? Luckily I was here... if they do it again and I'm not and something bad happens, I'm liable, right?

 

[Gina M]

Yes!!! Call their mother ASAP! Can't risk having mischievious kids going into your pool.

 

[cmdtrgd]

YES!!!! Call their mothers otherwise you could be held accountable if something were to happen!!! Just be very calm and informative, not accusative.

 

[Gina M]

If someone called me out of concern for my kids - I wouldn't mind at all. Better safe than sorry!

 

[Chef Kearns]

YES!!

I have 4 kiddos and am a big tattler! What you've told the kids needs to be reinforced by their parents. It is for their own safety! I mean what if they ignore you and go back out there when you're not home and fall through the cover? It could be next summer before you find the boy! (maybe I'm exaggerating a tad, but you know!!)

 

[Kodeysmom]

I would definitely tell as well. Even when the cover is off they don't need to be jumping the fence to play around it. I think stuff like like just entices kids.

 

[MissChef]

Since I don't have kids of my own, I'm not sure the protocol for this...

We have a pool in the back yard. At it's deepest point it's 15ft deep. It's snowing today and obviously the pool has been covered for months. Three neighbor kids jumped our fence and were running around the pool and started to get onto the cover. I went out and asked them not to go on the cover and to not play in our yard. (Everyone has 3/4 acres here so there is PLENTY of room to play in everyone's yard). The problem is, if they get on the cover, they will go right through. We don't drain our pool and if they go in, they will go under. So I asked the boys to not play in our yard and not to jump the fence.

Here's the question... do I call their mothers and let them know? Luckily I was here... if they do it again and I'm not and something bad happens, I'm liable, right?

Call now!!!!! If that was my kids, I'd want to know. Plus you don't need that type of grief anyway. If the parent has a problem then so what! I don't know what could happen to you if something awful happened so I'd say to make sure you report it if the parents are not parents who get involved or are unreasonable!
I'd want to be called!!!!!!!!!!! And I even tell my kids' teachers to call me over anything because if I don't know, I can't fix anything and I'd better not just find out something when my child is getting in big trouble, if it's something that has already been addressed and I didn't get told about it!
Us parents can't do our jobs if we don't know! Inform them now, knowledge is power!
You will probably have a very relieved and happy parent that you called!

 

[JAE]

Yes, Colleen, definitely call the mom. Even if you didn't have a pool, they shouldn't be jumping your fence. Because people are so "sue crazy" a call is in order to head off any accidents of any kind.

 

[pamperedlinda]

How old are the kids? Probably old enough to know better. I'd call, especially since it involves your pool. Just be prepared for the parent's to ostracize you.....I had an incident with one of the neighborhood kids with my son on the schoolbus - I 'thought' his mom was my friend. They denied anything happened (even after the school proved my son innocent) and she has never spoken to me and has also forbid her son to play with my son. What a shame too, the boys are only 5 & 6.....I 'thought' that was parent's did.....

They jumped your fence?

 

[katie0128]

If the kids were just running around in your yard and there wansn't the danger of the pool, I might give them a second chance and see if they listened to you. But since they looked like they were trying to get onto the pool cover, I would give their mom's a heads-up.

I would be careful to not sound like you are "tattle" or trying to get them in trouble. Instead, explain that you are not mad at the kids, but are worried about their safety and what could happen if they "slipped and fell" onto the cover.

I have no idea if you would be liable if something happened, but if you talk with the parents and have talked with the kids, it seems like you have covered your bases.

If it were my kids, I would appreciate the call.

 

[erinyourpclady]

I agree...as a mom, I would totally want to know! Oh and I totally tattle! LOL!!

 

[finley1991]

Thanks for your help. I did call... two are twins and I spoke to their dad. He seemed no too concerned. (He's a bit of a weenie too). Left a message for the other kid's mom. Thanks for your help!

 

[quiverfull7]

Way to go! Far too many people nowdays won't take the time to call and just don't care. I have 7 kids and I SURE would want to know!

 

[MissChef]

Thanks for your help. I did call... two are twins and I spoke to their dad. He seemed no too concerned. (He's a bit of a weenie too). Left a message for the other kid's mom.

Thanks for your help!

Is the Mom around? Call the Mom! Or go out and talk to her! Great Moms are often married to weenies!!! LOL!

 

[kspry]

Good thing you called!

I also agree with Linda about being prepared to be ostracized - which is probably no big thing, but if you had kids they might be ostracized, too.

 

[ChefJoyJ]

As a mom and a former teacher - I say call!! The parents need to know. As a PP said, don't sound accusatory (is that the correct spelling?), but let them know this is out of concern for their safety. Use the line that the PP used. As a former teacher, I want to tell you to document the call. That way, you have a record that you called the parents to let them know and asked them to tell the boys not to play in your yard. I would also call your home owner's insurance to see what you need to do so that if an incident were to happen (god forbid) you were covered and/or not liable.

It is sad that in today's society, we have to make sure we are covered and not liable, people are way too sue crazy! If someone is clearly negligent - it's one thing, but you have a fence and have asked the boys to steer clear!

 

[finley1991]

The mom I left the message for called back. I told her (as I told the father) that they weren't doing anything bad, they just probably didn't understand the danger of being near a pool filled with water. She told me that she didn't even know where her son was. Nice, eh? The twins are 9 and the other one is around 11. He's the neighborhood trouble-maker anyway and gets the twins into a lot of trouble. I honestly don't know for the life of me how the parents let the twins hang out with them other than it's convenient and they think "boys will be boys."Thanks for all of your input. I feel much better now. (Of course I did just use our new Wine Bottle Opener to open a bottle of wine! LOVE the new foil cutter!!!!)

 

[dannyzmom]

I am glad you called!
And why the heck were 9year olds running around unsupervised???

 

[kspry]

I let my son run around the neighborhood with friends when he was 9.
But I don't think he got into anyone's covered pool!

 

[jrstephens]

Since I don't have kids of my own, I'm not sure the protocol for this...

We have a pool in the back yard. At it's deepest point it's 15ft deep. It's snowing today and obviously the pool has been covered for months. Three neighbor kids jumped our fence and were running around the pool and started to get onto the cover. I went out and asked them not to go on the cover and to not play in our yard. (Everyone has 3/4 acres here so there is PLENTY of room to play in everyone's yard). The problem is, if they get on the cover, they will go right through. We don't drain our pool and if they go in, they will go under. So I asked the boys to not play in our yard and not to jump the fence.

Here's the question... do I call their mothers and let them know? Luckily I was here... if they do it again and I'm not and something bad happens, I'm liable, right?

I would call!!! It is alway best in my opinion to call than to regret it later. We just had a radio dj's 3 year old son drown in a pool in AL this week. It was their own. But this really hits home with that! Call Call Call! If I was a mother I would want to know.

 

[jrstephens]

I am glad you called!
And why the heck were 9year olds running around unsupervised???

We have parents that let their twins who are in the 2nd grade run around our neighborhood and also their other son that is in 1st grade. It drives me insane. There is no way I would let my son do this. In this world, you never know what could happen and it only take a few seconds for someone to snatch them. This mother and father never know where they, they will just stand on the porch and call them until they come!

 

[RaggedyAunt]

Since you've called, I won't beat that dead horse, but I did want to mention you might want to consider posting "No Trespassing" signs on your property, if you haven't already. I don't know Michigan's laws are pertaining to pools, but in Indiana you have to have "NT" signs posted and have the pool behind a locked fence. I'm assuming you are in compliance with MI laws, but you always want to go above and beyond to protect yourself against liability in any situation. (I've worked in the legal field a long time; always thinking along those lines. You do not want a tragedy to occur on your property, but, God forbid, if it did, you would want to be sure you were as well protected against a liability lawsuit as possible.)

Tammy

 

[chefsteph07]

If they do it again, I would go so far as to tell the local police and maybe they can go out and speak w/ the parents and the boys...let them know that you are taking steps to avoid a tragedy in case something were to happen

 

[Teresa Lynn]

Our deck railing surrounds our patio, walkway, gazebo, pool & hot tub deck all of our gates must have safety latches & padlocks It is part of our insurance and HOA rules
If you have those safety features in place I'm not sure what can be done if there is an accident.

 

[finley1991]

If they do it again, I would go so far as to tell the local police and maybe they can go out and speak w/ the parents and the boys...let them know that you are taking steps to avoid a tragedy in case something were to happen

A neighbor on another street actually called the police on the older kid once. He was in his yard around 9:30pm with another kid and the guy heard them in the yard. He didn't know who it was and got spooked and called the police. The police took them home to their parents with a warning. What if the man had had a gun and took it into his own hands instead of calling the police? I just don't get their parents! We don't have laws here that we need no trespassing signs or locks on the gates. The only rule is to have your yard fenced if you have a pool.

 

[Chef Kearns]

Not really in defense of the parents, but as a person longing to live on some "land". If we moved to an area and everyone had 3/4 acres or more I would let my kids just roam. That is the beauty of living in that type of area. The kids can get lost in the woods or build forts or just have some unsupervised outdoors time. I hate that my kids don't get that as much living in the suburbs. I definitely watch them more here than if we lived on some land. My oldest 2 are 9 and 10 yrs old. They have more liberties than say my 4 year old. I think it is okay to let them ride their bikes around the block (together) or play with their friends in the street (basketball or football) or in their friends backyards. I try to let them have as much outdoor adventuring as possible in our cookie cutter neighborhood.

 

[lkprescott]

I'm glad you called! Perhaps those parents will worry more about where their children are! I'm always emphasizing to my son how it's NOT okay to be on someone else's property without their permission... it's trespassing. I think some kids just aren't getting the basics of respecting property and others' boundaries.

Better to call while they're trespassing and alive than to have to call their parents to go to the ER.

 

[lkprescott]

We have parents that let their twins who are in the 2nd grade run around our neighborhood and also their other son that is in 1st grade. It drives me insane. There is no way I would let my son do this. In this world, you never know what could happen and it only take a few seconds for someone to snatch them. This mother and father never know where they, they will just stand on the porch and call them until they come!

Not only snatching ... Some kids around here drive me nuts and I let DS hear my angst... especially when they're riding their bikes up blind hills in the middle of the road! Cars speed down our road and there's no shoulder so it's just a tragedy waiting to happen. If I knew the kids I see, I'd call their parents. A couple years ago a kid was fatally struck while rollerblading out in traffic... blind corner, driver had no chance to react... that stuff scares me.

I'm the hoverer... I take my kid to other kid's houses to make sure they have permission from that parent or I call to make sure some adult will be there. A lot of kids are just left to roam... their parents have no idea where they are. I grew up in the woods but my mom knew where we were every minute of the day... and if we were called home (she had a bell to ring LOL) you bet your bippy we had to go home or call.

 

[kspry]

I would let my kids just roam. That is the beauty of living in that type of area.

Yeah, we have common areas where they can climb big old trees, a creek with a bike path running along side it...great place to be a kid, and they get to mess around like I did, growing up.

My son knows not to go into people's yards & to be home by dark. The creek is especially fun for him & his friends.

 

[Chef Kearns]

I am so NOT a hoverer, but I am not a negligent parent either. I don't think that you are either one way or another. My kids have boundaries and strict rules, but I don't inhibit their natural development. I try to let them discover things.

We don't use them yet, but we are going to buy walkie talkies for the boys so they can go to the neighborhood park together. I think they are old enough for this and responsible enough to come home when told. I just can't stand the thought of smothering them. And there is no way I am going with them everywhere. What the heck?!

 

[missyciccolella]

If you were my neighbor and didn't call me about my kids doing that I would be mad! Absolutely call her...this is a big time safety issue as well as a trespassing/breaking the law situation.

 

[letscook04]

I am glad that you called their parents!! God for bid if something happen to them you would of had a law suit on your hands!! My friend has a trampoline in her back yard and one of her son's friend broke his ankle, and guess what the kids mother did? Sued her!!!

 

[dianevill]

I definitely think it was right to call the parents. We have a pool, and have informed all children in the neighborhood that they are not allowed in the backyard without either me, my husband, or their parents with them. The pool is fenced and locked, but that doesn't always deter (just ask the floating squirrels!).

As far as children roaming, we live on a 1/2 to 3/4 acre lot, as do our neighbors. We have 3 houses in our neighborhood with kids all around the same age that play together, and we allow them to go from house to house in groups of two or more. We ALL bought walkie talkies, and when the kids are together we set them to the same channel. Everyone is aware of where the kids are, what they're doing, where they're going. The walkie talkies are a great investment - except when they "call" us to tattle on each other - LOL.

 

[Christ Follower]

I let my 8 year old roam our street. We have a ton of kids in our neighborhood and they are all like a pack of dogs. If it weren't this particular neighborhood I'm not sure I'd allow it.

BTW, glad you called. I don't know how it is where you live, but here in Cali, you would be LIABLE for any injury or death that occurs because of your pool. Even if it were fenced and you had no knowledge of them being there. We have messed up laws out here.

 

[dianevill]

I am glad that you called their parents!! God for bid if something happen to them you would of had a law suit on your hands!! My friend has a trampoline in her back yard and one of her son's friend broke his ankle, and guess what the kids mother did? Sued her!!!

Out of curiosity, who won? I've heard that it's difficult to get insurance if you have a trampoline.

 

[RebelChef]

Liability laws are really messed up. My niece's dad had his motorcycle inside his garage. A neighbor kid came inside, was climbing on the bike and it fell on him and injured him. The parents sued and won a judgement. In my opinion, inside your garage is the same as inside your home. That kid had no business going in there without permission and for his parents to win a lawsuit was beyond ridiculous. You did the right thing, Colleen. It's the parents' responsibility to supervise their children, but to protect yourself they needed to be told. It's on them now.

 

[kspry]

first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers

couldn't resist quoting Shakespeare


edit- Shakespeare also didn't have CPAs that shredded documents in his time, but the sentiment is the same, I will not live in fear of a lawsuit or destroy evidence, bceause the truth always comes out.

 

[Jean DeVries]

Out of curiosity, who won? I've heard that it's difficult to get insurance if you have a trampoline.

I work for an insurance company that writes homeowner insurance, and in states that allow it, we exclude liability for trampolines. So, you can get insurance, but if someone gets hurt on your trampoline, the insurance company won't pay.

We also require fences around pools.

And doggies that haven't mauled someone in the past.

If it weren't for sue-ers, we wouldn't need insurance. And if we didn't have insurance, I wouldn't have a job. So, thanks to all the sue-ers out there!







That was totally tongue in cheek by the way. I don't really want to work in insurance. But it pays more than sitting on a beach someplace warm, so I'm stuck.

 

[ChefJoyJ]

A neighbor on another street actually called the police on the older kid once. He was in his yard around 9:30pm with another kid and the guy heard them in the yard. He didn't know who it was and got spooked and called the police. The police took them home to their parents with a warning. What if the man had had a gun and took it into his own hands instead of calling the police? I just don't get their parents!

We don't have laws here that we need no trespassing signs or locks on the gates. The only rule is to have your yard fenced if you have a pool.

9:30?!?! What on earth was an 11 year old doing out in another person's yard that late? For that matter, what was he doing outside so late???

I just don't get some parents. In my mind, that's just neglectful!

 

[RebelChef]

Way back when I was a kid, we would stay out until dark or later as long as we were in our own yard. In the summer that would be 9 pm or later. Things were so much different back then. You could actually walk to the movies or the store and your parents didn't have to worry if you'd make it home or not. Technology and modern living is great but our kids are missing out on so much.

 

[Chef Endora]

Colleen, I would document that you called the parents & the responses. Include all pertinent information. Date, time, who you spoke with, etc.
God forbid anything to happen but today's mentality is litigenous (sp?) and you need to protect yourself.

 

[chefkristin]

I would call!!! It is alway best in my opinion to call than to regret it later. We just had a radio dj's 3 year old son drown in a pool in AL this week. It was their own. But this really hits home with that! Call Call Call! If I was a mother I would want to know.

She already did! LOL!!
I am glad that you called Colleen.

 

[graciec1977]

Wow I cant believe in this day and age that parents still let their children run around free without knowing where they are. I live in a small town in Nova Scotia Canada and have 3 girls ages 6,9,10 and never let them go anywhere with out knowing where they are. There is a playground within a 5min walk of our house and I am still leery of letting them go there without me.

As far as going into your fenced in backyard I am glad you called their parents. Any good parent would be glad to know their child was putting them self in harms way so that they could warn them of the risks and potentially save their lives.

As to being liable and sued I don't understand why so many people sue each other in the states. Where I am from the only people that ever worry about being sued are the businesses. People need to take responsibility for their own lives and stop blaming everything that happens on others, (if an accident happens don't take it out on each other, take responsibility for your part in it, its called an accident because it is just that an accident! What ever happened to the days of neighbors looking out for each other and parents looking after their own children, we need to get back to that!

 

[erinyourpclady]

Way back when I was a kid, we would stay out until dark or later as long as we were in our own yard. In the summer that would be 9 pm or later. Things were so much different back then. You could actually walk to the movies or the store and your parents didn't have to worry if you'd make it home or not. Technology and modern living is great but our kids are missing out on so much.

We always had the street light rule when I was a kid. Once they came on it was time to go home! We totally had more freedom as kids then I allow my kids. Then again, we live on a military base that has rules about unattended children.

 

[Chef Kearns]

We always had the street light rule when I was a kid. Once they came on it was time to go home! We totally had more freedom as kids then I allow my kids. Then again, we live on a military base that has rules about unattended children.

Is it like the airport? Will they be taken in the back and exploded?

LOL, I'm sorry. The mental image was funnier than I could verbally portray it. I just was picturing the SP coming along and scooping the "unattended children" then running them through a slew of tests to see if they were a bomb, then exploding them to be on the safe side! I really shouldn't be up this early! I am sooo not a morning person.

 

[Chef Kearns]

btw...I grew up on a military base. You have such a sense of security...false or otherwise.

 

[finley1991]

9:30?!?! What on earth was an 11 year old doing out in another person's yard that late? For that matter, what was he doing outside so late???

Part of the problem here is that we are in the western part of our time zone... in summer, it doesn't get dark here until about 10pm (LOVE IT!) so sometimes it's hard to know what time it really is.

With that, I am not saying it was okay that they don't know where their kids are.

Also, we don't have streetlights so we can't use that as a timer either.

I guess I just didn't want to be pegged as a mean lady but in the end it doesn't really matter how they see me.

 

[erinyourpclady]

Is it like the airport? Will they be taken in the back and exploded?

LOL, I'm sorry. The mental image was funnier than I could verbally portray it. I just was picturing the SP coming along and scooping the "unattended children" then running them through a slew of tests to see if they were a bomb, then exploding them to be on the safe side! I really shouldn't be up this early! I am sooo not a morning person.

Nah not quite that extreme! LOL!! I might be one of the few that actually abide by the rules anyway! I see children younger then mine (almost 6, almost 8 and 11) running around with no parents as far as the eye can see.

 

[finley1991]

I see children younger then mine (almost 6, almost 8 and 11) running around with no parents as far as the eye can see.

My cousins is the mother to those children. She lets them run wild anywhere, anytime. She doesn't care if they get into someone else's things or what they do. She thinks it's "cute."

 

[erinyourpclady]

Part of the problem here is that we are in the western part of our time zone... in summer, it doesn't get dark here until about 10pm (LOVE IT!) so sometimes it's hard to know what time it really is.

With that, I am not saying it was okay that they don't know where their kids are.

Also, we don't have streetlights so we can't use that as a timer either.

I guess I just didn't want to be pegged as a mean lady but in the end it doesn't really matter how they see me.

I don't know...I'd rather be the mean lady! LOL!! As long as it doesn't mean flaming pooh on my doorstep and eggs all over my front door! LOL!!!!!!

Oh and I that is the craziest thing...the whole sun until 10 thing! We were visiting our oldest son (he lives with his mom) in Holland 2 summers ago and we were sitting out in the back yard forever and the sun just wouldn't go down! LOL!!! My kids LOVED it! LOL!!!