I'm Having Separation Anxiety!!

[ahammons]

And no, it's not for DH... it's for my 3 yr who decided to spend the night with my dad! :cry: I know, it's bad - since the day he came home from the hospital, I've only spent one night apart from him... and that was when I was in the hospital after having baby #2! lol Until a month ago, we lived 6 hours away from all the grandparents, so it's weird to have the option of him staying somewhere else! My dad said he'd bring him back if he wanted to come home -- is it bad that I'm sort of hoping that will happen?? lol
I don't think I'll be sleeping well at all tonight! :cry: At least my 18mo old doesn't want to leave me yet!

 

[katie0128]

I just about cried when my oldest DS spent the night at my mom's for the first time. Even though both sets of grandparents live really close, we try not to do too many sleepovers... that way they are a "special treat" and can be used for bribes... oh, excuse me, not bribes... REWARDS!

 

[JAE]

I'm so sorry I can't relate. My boys have been spending the night at the grandparents since they could sleep through the night w/o nursing, around 3 months old. My kids are now 10 and almost 12. They love staying there and stay more than other kids we know, but it's still a very special treat. It's about an hour and a half away. Get some sleep.

 

[ahammons]

Thanks Katie! At least I'm not the only one!
JAE, I was the same way as your kids... but I think I spent more time with my grandparents than at my own house sometimes! lol

I think I'm just nervous b/c my MIL watched the kids while I was at a show lastnight, and as soon as bedtime rolled around, my 3 yr old started looking for me and asking when I'd be home. He's always been like that; as soon as he's tired, I'm the only one he wants.

 

[Teresa Lynn]

When he gets tired enough he'll quit looking.
When our son was 18 months old he fell asleep once with his head on my dad's knee waiting on us to come home from a movie.

 

[jrstephens]

I know how you feel. My son turned 3 in July. We did not let him spend the night with my parents until he was 2 or older. I still have not gotten the nerves to let him stay with my inlaws. My parents live about 5 minutes from me. I call while he is there before he goes to sleep to make sure he does not want to come home. My parents will bring him home if he wakes up wanting us not matter what time it is. So far, they have not had to bring him home yet.

The first few times he stayed with them, I did not sleep at all. I was anticipating gettting a full good nights sleep and felt worse than ever that next mornings. Now that he has stayed several times, I get good sleep. My parents call me as soon as he wakes up and wants to come home.

 

[katie0128]

Usually when DS spends the night with my mom, he does so on a Friday night. She gets him after school and they go to the library (one of DS's favorite places) and get dinner somewhere. Once it is dark enough, they do a night walk... a walk around the block with mom's two dogs and flashlights. Then mom makes DS a special breakfast in the morning and takes him to work with her (she works weekends as an ER nurse). I meet her at the hospital and pick him up.

Now that DS #2 is 3.5, he has started asking when he gets to do special sleepovers as well...

 

[katie0128]

Thanks Katie! At least I'm not the only one!
JAE, I was the same way as your kids... but I think I spent more time with my grandparents than at my own house sometimes! lol

I think I'm just nervous b/c my MIL watched the kids while I was at a show lastnight, and as soon as bedtime rolled around, my 3 yr old started looking for me and asking when I'd be home. He's always been like that; as soon as he's tired, I'm the only one he wants.

Then when he spends the night with them, make a big deal about it... how it is a special thing and have them make up a new tradition that ONLY happens at their house and ONLY when he spends the night. More than likely, he'll get so excited about the new tradition that he won't mind being away from you. But, if he still wants mommy... just try to enjoy it (I know... MUCH easier said than done). All to soon, he won't want mommy. My 8yo DS announced the other day that I can't hug him, kiss him or tell him I love him in public... "mom... it's embarrasing!". We decided that we'll give each other "fives" and then I'll say "me, you"... short for I love you. He is in agreement wtih that... for now!

 

[tpchefrebecca]

Reading this thread I just realized I do have a problem with separating with my kids. I always say I just need some time to myself, but when I go out and they are home with sitters or family, I am fine. However, when they spend the night at a family members house I can't go to bed. The kids always do just fine and they never want to leave when I pick them up because they have so much fun. Weird.

 

[JaimeQ]

Awww how sad Kids grow up way to fast!! I haven't spent a night away from my little girl and i'm not looking forward to ever having to

 

[pamperedgirl3]

So, how did it go???

I miss my 2 year old DD when she spends the night somewhere else, but I'm also so happy for her that she has family members that want to/can do that with her. I think it's important for her to have special relationships with other family too. She's spent the night at my sister's house several times so she could play with her cousin (& he's been here a few times too). She loves it! In fact, she's having her first sleepover at my MIL's tonight. My FIL will be out of town, so she's staying in grandma's room with her. She is so excited!

 

[ginamkiely]

i'm with Jaime on this one.. my son turned 3 in july and still hasn't spent the night away, and my mom lives 3 houses away... my husband is in a wedding in october (only 20 minutes away) and we're supposed to sleep at the hotel with the wedding party and i'm already having panic attacks thinking about it. i know he'll be fine, his grandma is his second favorite person (after me of course) but i'm the one that's going to be a mess!

 

[trps]

I probably am the worst as well as my DH. When my DD was about 4 months we went to Niagra Falls for a long weekend and left DD with my parents. Well, the first night we decided to come home in the AM we are in OHIO so it was quite a drive and have never done that again. We only vacation with our kids. I used to waitress at 6AM on Sat every other week so my sister would keep DD over night every other week then I'd pick her up on the way home about 2. DH was building our house so couldn't watch a 4-6 mo. But since then I started PC and DD and DS (born when she was 3) have only been away from DH or I to go to school. Their friends are over to our house all the time but they don't go spend the night not even at Grandma and Grandpa's they are 11 and 8 and DD was under 1 last time she stayed without us and DS never has!!!

 

[chefjeanine]

Encourage your children to spend the night away from home!!!

I was a terrible mama’s girl and it did me no good. I had a hard time spending the night at friend’s houses and going away to summer camp was a TRAUMA. (I had a great time after I got over the initial freak out). I also had a hard time when I went off to college.

I could not sleep anywhere but my own bed. When we traveled (which was very infrequently), I couldn't sleep even if my mom was there.

If your kids are asking to go stay with their grandparents, encourage them to go! I'm the youngest of three (by 7 years) and the other two spent nights with our grandparents. I remember going only once and think I'd be a better person if I had spent more overnights with them.

 

[pamperedape]

Awwwww!!! Hugs to you!! Our four year old has YET to spend the night away! We're ready for it now, but he's not and that's okay 'cause I know I'd regret it as soon as he left!!!

 

[dannyzmom]

I pray you never get divorced and share custody.
My sons sleep at their dad's house 2-3 night's a week, every week...except in the summer when he takes them on vacation for a week or more at a time. Be grateful that for your family, the kids sleeping out is OPTIONAL and not MANDATORY.

 

[Teresa Lynn]

Our ritual when I'd leave them for Sunday school (the only time I was ever away from them except for PC shows until they went to school) was Hug, Hug, Kiss!!
Sometimes my 17 YO will still do that as he walks out the door.

 

[crystalscookingnow]

I pray you never get divorced and share custody.
My sons sleep at their dad's house 2-3 night's a week, every week...except in the summer when he takes them on vacation for a week or more at a time. Be grateful that for your family, the kids sleeping out is OPTIONAL and not MANDATORY.

Very well said. I started learning how to let my dd sleep out when she was 21 months old. There are still times when I come inside from seeing her off to her dad's or when I think about what time she'd be getting off the bus at my house & then I really miss her!

That said, my younger two just spent last night at my mom's. They've done so before & truly love it. I think I was at grandma & grandpas more than my own house when I was little & have such a close relationship with them. Kids & grandparents can have a very special bond.

Everything will be OK & you'll love how excited he is when he gets home!

 

[ginamkiely]

I pray you never get divorced and share custody.
My sons sleep at their dad's house 2-3 night's a week, every week...except in the summer when he takes them on vacation for a week or more at a time. Be grateful that for your family, the kids sleeping out is OPTIONAL and not MANDATORY.

oh my god i feel your pain. i grew up with divorced parents and i never understood why my mom would cry when we left her (when we were younger) and now being a mother i can't imagine it. my husband and I went through a really rough time not too long ago and the only thing that kept me from trying my hardest to make things work was the idea that my son would sleep away from me and i had no control over it. thankfully things are better between us now and hopefully that time won't come but i definitely feel for you.

 

[ahammons]

Well, he did fine on Friday night! I kept expecting the phone to ring, but it never did. lol He actually told us 5-6 times the next day when he thought he needed to use the potty! He's been very stubborn w/ potty training, but he was actually willing to try at my dad's house. Maybe I could start using over-nighters as a reward.

The only problem was that he didn't want to leave! lol

 

[pamperedgirl3]

The only problem was that he didn't want to leave! lol

My daughter spent Saturday night at my MIL's for the first time (she's stayed with my sister before & MIL has stayed with her at our house, just never at hers). When we came to get her on Sunday, she was mad because she was going to go out & write with chalk on the driveway! So we had to stay a little while longer.