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Gave My Card to a Woman, Now She Won't Leave Me Alone

In summary, a woman approached the speaker in a restaurant and complimented their hair. She later called pretending to be interested in a business opportunity, but it turned out she just wanted to share something with the speaker. The woman has been persistently contacting the speaker and it has made them wary of giving out their contact information to strangers. This situation is similar to when the speaker's ex-husband contacted them after seeing their contact information on their car decal. They are now concerned about the potential safety risks of having their contact information out in public. Others in the conversation suggest being direct and possibly contacting the police if the woman continues to harass the speaker.
ivy5683
56
I gave my card to a woman who approached me in Crispers to compliment my hair, she seemed harmless, she's about 66 years old. Anyway, she called, pretending to be interested in PC and started chatting me up, everything, what does my hubby do, are my parents/grandparents living, how old are my kids... I think she's making small talk and then she tells me she has to go and she'll call again.
Fast forward a week, she calls and wants to get lunch, I'm hesitant because of the boys (I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old that I am a SAHM to) then she drops it... she has something she'd like to SHARE with me but not until we know eachother better... now, I'm a christian and I'm guessing she's trying to save my soul but she's being really pushy. She called me 5 times yesterday trying to get me to go to lunch with her. She has 0 interest in PC, the entire thing was a way to get to SHARE something with me. She's just got me cautious of giving my card out to complete strangers. Especially since she's calling so much, I half expect her to show up on my door step, my address is on my cards... big mistake huh?
 
That sounds really fishy. I hope, for your sake, that she leaves you alone.
 
This hasn't happened to me but something I did for marketing purposes has made me almost regret it.

I have the window decals with my first name, phone and email posted. Well...I was at a gas station and after I left, I got a call on my cell from a number I didn't recognize. Normally I wouldn't answer...but I did. It was my ex-husband!! He is a creep and I thought I was going to die inside! I now have his number on my reject list so he goes straight to my voicemail. Luckily he has only called me once since that day.

I didn't remove the decals because I think it is more positive than negative to have them.
 
Hmm, I have always had this fear! I have my email and both phone numbers on my business card and my website, I figure when I do the car decal I will include my cell and website. Can web savvy people figure out your address from those things? We are preparing to get foster kids and as we meet with parents, I fear that they will be able to use the information that I pass out through PC to figure out our address, putting the kids at risk. Maybe I am just being paranoid - I just don't want to allow room for any such possibilities.
 
Wow, she sounds like she has a couple of screws loose. I'd put her number on ignore.
 
I think you need to be straight/blunt with her. Tell her you will not meet with her to discuss an unknown topic. If she has something she wants to sell/recruit you then she needs to be open about it and tell you what it is on the phone. You are a PC consultant and you gave your card in faith that she was interested in PC, not to be stalked. Good luck and be careful. Weird people come in all ages, be careful.
 
I agree with Linda. She needs to let you know what it is that she wants to talk to you about. She can NOT trap you into having lunch w/o you knowing why. If she is lonely, well then that is up to you if you choose to have her be an addition to your life. But if she is selling something and trying to back you into a corner. well, that is just wrong.
I would ask her what she wants to discuss and be straightforward with her. And let her know you expect the SAME thing from her. Total honesty.
 
This is the reason why I do not have my address on my business cards..I fear the weirdos...I figure email and phone are enough.

If you have caller ID I would NOT pick up the phone any longer when she calls!


If she continues to call I'd tell her to stop and if she doesn't you are going to file harrassment charges!
 
Yeah, time to stop being nice. Tell her to stop calling you or you will be forced to contact the police.

That should do it.
 
  • #10
I agree....time to tell her to leave you alone! Good luck....hope it works out okay for you!
 
  • #11
I would definitely be careful of this crazy woman!! I would not go to lunch with her!
 
  • #12
I agree with Linda, Janice and Marie-France! It's time to tell her in no uncertain terms that you're DONE! You not only have yourself to worry about but your kids! She already knows too much and it's time to tell her to come clean ON THE PHONE or to back off. Then block her #. Keep us posted!
 
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  • #13
My first thought isn't that she's trying to "save" you. I'd suspect she's trying to recruit you for another DS company. Either way, I'd start avoiding her.
 
  • #14
I'm guessing she is with Quixtar or Amway or similar. She complimented you on your hair to start the conversation. She got your card and asked family questions and worked to build your rapport and trust. Now she wants to take it to the next level and share an opportunity.I'd throw it back at her. Tell her you value your time and will not meet to discuss and unknown topic. Either tell you now what it is or you will not have any more conversations with her - period.
 
  • #15
raebates said:
My first thought isn't that she's trying to "save" you. I'd suspect she's trying to recruit you for another DS company. Either way, I'd start avoiding her.

We were typing at the same time - my thoughts EXACTLY! I've seen it MANY times.
 
  • #16
i am curious to know what it is that she wants...but dont give her my number! :)
 
  • #17
Wow this is scary! I really need to start leaving my address off of my catalogs I leave just laying around. I don't mind people who come to shows, but maybe I should worry about that too!

I do know if you give just your phone number they can do a reverse look-up and find your address. Mine is non-published so it would not show up. This was due to my husband supervising people who he would sometimes have to fire, discipline, etc. He doesn't anymore, but I never changed it.

I agree w/others tell her there is no way you can take time to meet w/her until you know what she is wanting to talk about. Or just put her on ignore.
 
  • Thread starter
  • #18
We talked at length the first time and she said she doesn't work, just stays home in her garden so unless she's lieing then she isn't trying ot recruit me. In this area we have a lot of pusy christians, that being said, please do not take offence, I myself am a christian and have a very strong faith, what I am talking about are those people who try to force their religion wihtout even knowing if someone has a faith or not.
Either way, not taking her calls anymore. It's just a good warning, there are odd balls out there, we shoudl be cautious.
 
  • #19
Do you have any "cults" in your area? I was surprised when I found out how many "compound-type" groups are here in FL.
 
  • #20
I had a customer do this to me that comes in my store. They were the same way wanting me to come meet them to talk about something they thought I would be interested in. I never went to meet them. They kept coming by my store & finally left some information on some type of thing I would call a pyramid scheme. I pay so much to join & then get discounts to all kinds of businesses that were a part of it. They even found a person that I graduated school w/her daughter to call me & try to get me to join. NO THANK YOU. If they have to be so vague about it then I don't need it. OH, too my boyfriend had a guy at his gym ask him what he did (chef) then told him he had a job position he might be interested in & he would call him. He called Larry & wanted him to come interview for the job. The job which the guy could tell him NOTHING about. Was it sales, cooking what? He would not say anything at all. I told him I'd tell him if he can't tell me what the job is then I don't need to apply. Crazy people!
 
  • #21
I agree that you should tell her in no uncertain terms that you are not interested in further communication with her. Tell her you are busy and that you will not take her calls any more and that if she continues to contact you you will contact the authorities.

I would not ignore her calls until you have said this to her. Ignoring the call without the explaination of why may just be the thing that makes her find your house.
 
  • #22
I agree with Beth. I'd take her call to tell her that you won't meet with her unless she tells you what exactly it is that she wants. Then let her know that you aren't interested and you'd appreciate it if she'd stop calling. There's no reason to be snippy or mean, just be firm and direct.
 
  • Thread starter
  • #23
that's true. Next time she calls I'll tell her that. I don't want to provoke her into showing up in my drive way.
 
  • #24
jcsmilez said:
Hmm, I have always had this fear! I have my email and both phone numbers on my business card and my website, I figure when I do the car decal I will include my cell and website. Can web savvy people figure out your address from those things? We are preparing to get foster kids and as we meet with parents, I fear that they will be able to use the information that I pass out through PC to figure out our address, putting the kids at risk. Maybe I am just being paranoid - I just don't want to allow room for any such possibilities.

Not from your website, and they'd have to work for a cell company to access your info from the number, unless it is listed. But I think most cells automatically come up as "Telus Mobility" or "Bell" or something, not under a person's name. I know I have tried to reverse lookup someone who called me and if it's a cell you can pretty much forget it.
 
  • #25
Oh no! Hahaha. That's terrible! Dont forget to update on what happens!
 
  • #26
Jillybill said:
Not from your website, and they'd have to work for a cell company to access your info from the number, unless it is listed. But I think most cells automatically come up as "Telus Mobility" or "Bell" or something, not under a person's name. I know I have tried to reverse lookup someone who called me and if it's a cell you can pretty much forget it.

Even the paid services can't get much info on cell phones. At my 9-5 job, I have access to the software programs companies use for skip-tracing etc. We have the capability to see what the Caller ID will say for a given number, but that's it. You can call your cell company and ask them what your Caller ID says, and you should be able to ask to change it. Then they can't even get your name with any service available, and they can't locate you. If you're that worried about it, that is.
 
  • #27
So what ever happened?

Wow I can't believe everyone is so scared of a 66 year old woman. Am I saying that there aren't nut jobs out there that are over 60? Of course not, but sometimes I have come across widows, or lonely elderly people who just want someone to talk to. I'm sure you have seen them eating alone in a restaurant, in the grocery store buying frozen foods or groceries for one.
If you go to a nursing home, you'll see them. Anyway I think she is probably lonely and if she does care for your soul, SO WHAT!!
My goodness it took 22 years of my wasted life before someone cared for my soul and shared Christ with me. I wouldn't be offended if someone witnessed to me or tried to convert me.
I WOULD BE OVERJOYED!!! Thank God there are still Christians who share their faith, caring for the souls of the lost and trying to reach out, because you never know. I would rather be safe than sorry. As a Christian I have never felt offended, angry or hurt that someone was trying to share Christ with me. I have been happy about that. I tell them that I am a Christian and then as children of God we can pray for one another and speak of what the Lord is doing in our lives.
That's my two cents! I know there are pushy people out there who believe you have to be a member of their church in order to really be saved, but hey that's when a good bible study is needed! I wouldn't be so quick to push her away, just be honest and tell her that you have small children and can't get out to meet her. If she says she would like to come over, if you feel uncomfortable, tell her that you are busy. Just because she's not interested in PC doesn't mean she is not a human being with feelings and can be discarded.

Debbie :D
 
  • #28
AMEN! Debbie
 
  • #29
DebbieSAChef said:
So what ever happened?

Wow I can't believe everyone is so scared of a 66 year old woman. Am I saying that there aren't nut jobs out there that are over 60? Of course not, but sometimes I have come across widows, or lonely elderly people who just want someone to talk to. I'm sure you have seen them eating alone in a restaurant, in the grocery store buying frozen foods or groceries for one.
If you go to a nursing home, you'll see them. Anyway I think she is probably lonely and if she does care for your soul, SO WHAT!!
My goodness it took 22 years of my wasted life before someone cared for my soul and shared Christ with me. I wouldn't be offended if someone witnessed to me or tried to convert me.
I WOULD BE OVERJOYED!!! Thank God there are still Christians who share their faith, caring for the souls of the lost and trying to reach out, because you never know. I would rather be safe than sorry. As a Christian I have never felt offended, angry or hurt that someone was trying to share Christ with me. I have been happy about that. I tell them that I am a Christian and then as children of God we can pray for one another and speak of what the Lord is doing in our lives.
That's my two cents! I know there are pushy people out there who believe you have to be a member of their church in order to really be saved, but hey that's when a good bible study is needed! I wouldn't be so quick to push her away, just be honest and tell her that you have small children and can't get out to meet her. If she says she would like to come over, if you feel uncomfortable, tell her that you are busy. Just because she's not interested in PC doesn't mean she is not a human being with feelings and can be discarded.

Debbie :D
Debbie, I agree with you to a point but I do think that in this case it sounds like she's taking it too far. Sharing one's faith is great but for many people her kind of behavior is going too far.

My feeling is that we should live our faith and we are free to share it in our words too but that we should be sensitive to where others are in their journey and know when to step back and let the other people breathe.
 
  • #30
BethCooks4U said:
Debbie, I agree with you to a point but I do think that in this case it sounds like she's taking it too far. Sharing one's faith is great but for many people her kind of behavior is going too far.

My feeling is that we should live our faith and we are free to share it in our words too but that we should be sensitive to where others are in their journey and know when to step back and let the other people breathe.

Well said, Beth. Yes, we are called to share our faith - but we do need to be sensitive. It's our calling to share, but it's the Holy Spirit's job to convict and bring people to reconciliation with God. That takes the pressure off us.

I know that Debbie had an amazing conversion experience, and her point of view comes from that experience. There is one way - and only one way (through Jesus Christ) but the journey there is unique for each person.
 
  • #31
ChefBeckyD said:
Well said, Beth. Yes, we are called to share our faith - but we do need to be sensitive. It's our calling to share, but it's the Holy Spirit's job to convict and bring people to reconciliation with God. That takes the pressure off us.

I know that Debbie had an amazing conversion experience, and her point of view comes from that experience. There is one way - and only one way (through Jesus Christ) but the journey there is unique for each person.

And I was in no way being critical of that at all. I was giving another point of view.
 
  • #32
DebbieSAChef said:
So what ever happened?

Wow I can't believe everyone is so scared of a 66 year old woman. Am I saying that there aren't nut jobs out there that are over 60? Of course not, but sometimes I have come across widows, or lonely elderly people who just want someone to talk to. I'm sure you have seen them eating alone in a restaurant, in the grocery store buying frozen foods or groceries for one.
If you go to a nursing home, you'll see them. Anyway I think she is probably lonely and if she does care for your soul, SO WHAT!!
My goodness it took 22 years of my wasted life before someone cared for my soul and shared Christ with me. I wouldn't be offended if someone witnessed to me or tried to convert me.
I WOULD BE OVERJOYED!!! Thank God there are still Christians who share their faith, caring for the souls of the lost and trying to reach out, because you never know. I would rather be safe than sorry. As a Christian I have never felt offended, angry or hurt that someone was trying to share Christ with me. I have been happy about that. I tell them that I am a Christian and then as children of God we can pray for one another and speak of what the Lord is doing in our lives.
That's my two cents! I know there are pushy people out there who believe you have to be a member of their church in order to really be saved, but hey that's when a good bible study is needed! I wouldn't be so quick to push her away, just be honest and tell her that you have small children and can't get out to meet her. If she says she would like to come over, if you feel uncomfortable, tell her that you are busy. Just because she's not interested in PC doesn't mean she is not a human being with feelings and can be discarded.

Debbie :D

Well said Debbie. You are an inspiration.
 
  • Thread starter
  • #33
This isn't about sharing her faith with me or even her age, it's the fact that she pretended to be interested in Pampered Chef in order to get to talk to me. She isn't a widow, she isn't lonley, she has tons of family in the area, so that's not the case.
She lied to me, plain and simple and that is what made me cautious of her, not affraid of her. My husband is in law enforcement so he has engrained in me to be cautious of strangers, especially ones who take things a little too far as this lady has. The questions she asked set off red flags, do I have grandparents, how close are they, where was I born, when was my birthday, my parents, how old they were, where my kids were born, what my husband did, where he was from... she wanted too much personal information all at once, that made me question her.
I don't think it's fair for you to judge my cautiousness about her, I have two small children who are with me 24/7, and their saftey is my priority, people take children every day, people who are ordinary looking and kind looking watch and wait for someone to let their guard down, that isn't the case with this woman but you just never know and I'm not going to take that chance on a stranger.
 
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  • #34
Nicki~

I don't blame you at all! God gives us a brain to use, and a sense when things are not right. You have every right to be cautious and upset that this lady lied to you in order to get your information. I pray that nothing else "comes" of this situation so you can move past it.

I have never had dangerous or suspicious things happen to me while doing PC, but my recruiter did...and it IS possible, since we live in a world that has MANY wonderful and caring people, but also nut cases and liars too!
 
  • #35
ivy5683 said:
This isn't about sharing her faith with me or even her age, it's the fact that she pretended to be interested in Pampered Chef in order to get to talk to me. She isn't a widow, she isn't lonley, she has tons of family in the area, so that's not the case.
She lied to me, plain and simple and that is what made me cautious of her, not affraid of her. My husband is in law enforcement so he has engrained in me to be cautious of strangers, especially ones who take things a little too far as this lady has.
I do'nt think it's fair for you to judge my cautiousness about her, I have two small children who are with me 24/7, and their saftey is my priority, people take children every day, people who are ordinary looking and kind looking watch and wait for someone to let their guard down, that isn't the case with this woman but you just never know and I'm not going to take that chance on a stranger.

You have every right to be cautious - especially when someone has lied to you.....that should send up caution flags for anyone.
 
  • #36
ivy5683 said:
this Isn't About Sharing Her Faith With Me Or Even Her Age, It's The Fact That She Pretended To Be Interested In Pampered Chef In Order To Get To Talk To Me. She Isn't A Widow, She Isn't Lonley, She Has Tons Of Family In The Area, So That's Not The Case.
She Lied To Me, Plain And Simple And That Is What Made Me Cautious Of Her, Not Affraid Of Her. My Husband Is In Law Enforcement So He Has Engrained In Me To Be Cautious Of Strangers, Especially Ones Who Take Things A Little Too Far As This Lady Has.
I Do'nt Think It's Fair For You To Judge My Cautiousness About Her, I Have Two Small Children Who Are With Me 24/7, And Their Saftey Is My Priority, People Take Children Every Day, People Who Are Ordinary Looking And Kind Looking Watch And Wait For Someone To Let Their Guard Down, That Isn't The Case With This Woman But You Just Never Know And I'm Not Going To Take That Chance On A Stranger.

Amen!!!!!!
 
  • #37
Nicki, you have to be cautious. I have always been taught that you have to pay attention to the red flags you feel (well, I can't think of the saying but you get what I mean). Go with your gut.

If you weren't a caring person you wouldn't be upset about this.
 
  • #38
DessertDivaFL said:
Do you have any "cults" in your area? I was surprised when I found out how many "compound-type" groups are here in FL.

R U serious? Where?
 
  • Thread starter
  • #39
And I am offended by the comment 'Just because she's not interested in PC doesn't mean she is not a human being with feelings and can be discarded.'
Her lack of interest in PC is not why I discarded her, it was the fact that she lied to me, I have no room in my life for liars. No matter what their age or agenda is.
 
  • #40
Nicki - I agree with you 100% about being cautious. It's your job as Mommy to protect your children and you need to protect yourself too. Someone that asks for all that information would put me off too. And you definitely do not need to deal with someone that lies to you.
 
  • #41
I think we all have a right to decide who we do or don't want in our lives, this woman, whatever her reasoning is, her agenda, whatever, has no right to call her umpteen times, ask about her personal life,go to lunch w/ someone you don't know, what have you, if she does not want to give that out! It is harrassment, plain and simple, and why should it matter if it was a "loney old woman, widower, Christian, whatever"..versus a MAN who did the same thing to her.

There are crazy people out there, if you think someone is interested in your business, but it turns out she's not and wants to talk about "other things", why are you automatically obligated? Let's look at the big picture!

This is the reason why I don't have my address on my business cards, but it is in the phone book, I am not hard to find! But that doesn't mean that I want someone showing up on my doorstep who I think is interested in one thing but I find out they are not..I have a right to kick them off my doorstep!
 
  • #42
Why don't you just flat out tell her that you are NOT interested in whatever she wants to share with you. Sometimes you just have to be straight forward even if it might hurt her feelings. She sounds a little weird.
 
  • #43
I feel like if she was going to share something legitamate, she would atleast explain it over the phone.I would use caution....especially since she is asking all of those personal questions.As a mother, I feel that you can never be too careful.I would be polite and just let her know that you are not interested.You have to be firm with people like her.After reading some of these posts, I think that I will NOT put my home # & address on my business cards.Good luck!
 
  • #44
Like I said before, if this were a MAN doing the same thing, there would be no debate.
 
  • #45
laurano75 said:
I think that I will NOT put my home # & address on my business cards.Good luck!


I really regret putting my address on my cards. I wonder if I could black it out.....
 
  • #46
Nicki, I sure hope that this woman has been leaving you alone! Good for you for following your gut and leaving her out of your life!
 
  • #47
It's the middle of the night here in Japan, I'm about to go to bed & didn't have time to read all the comments.

10 years ago, I'd have said she sells AMWAY! LOL

I'm a retired Police Dispatcher, and it's instinct for me to automatically think the worst! So I have to say: don't think that just because she's in her 60's that she's not a con-artist. The older they are, the easier it becomes to con people. If she tries to get you to cash a lotto ticket or something stupid for her, DON'T DO IT! Anything involving exchange of money needs to be reported to your local police department immediately. Including a vehicle description & license plate number if you can get it.

If you'll PM me her name & number and anything else you know about her ... I'll do a little public research & see if any red flags pop up. ;)

Edited to add: You know she has your address, so keep in mind that trying to get you to meet her for lunch could also be a ploy to get you out of the house so someone else can break into your home. I would let her calls go to voicemail and definitely don't tell her that you have errands to run or a show to do ... that's just letting her know when you'll be away from home. KWIM?

Hopefully, it's all just some poor lonely woman who's looking for a friend ... but it's always better to be safe, than sorry.
 
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  • #48
Shelia: I love your "NEWS" section of your signature! Congrats!
 
  • #49
chefsteph07 said:
Shelia: I love your "NEWS" section of your signature! Congrats!

I thought the same thing. Congratulations! :D
 
  • #50
Thanks ladies!

And curiosity had the cat ... so I took the time to read all the posts. I didn't realize when I did my first response that your hubby is in Law Enforcement. I'm sure he knows how to do all the public searches too. LOL
 

Related to Gave My Card to a Woman, Now She Won't Leave Me Alone

1. What should I do if I gave my card to a woman and now she won't leave me alone?

If you find yourself in this situation, it's important to set boundaries and communicate clearly with the woman. Let her know that you appreciate her interest, but you are not interested in pursuing a friendship or any further interactions.

2. How can I avoid this situation in the future?

Be cautious about giving out personal information, such as your card, to strangers. If someone approaches you in public and you feel uncomfortable, it's okay to politely decline and move on.

3. What should I do if the woman is being pushy and won't take no for an answer?

If the woman continues to contact you and pressure you to meet up, it may be necessary to be more firm in your boundaries. Let her know that you will not be meeting with her and that you do not wish to be contacted further.

4. Should I be concerned about my safety if she knows my address?

It's always important to prioritize your safety. If you feel uncomfortable or unsafe, it may be necessary to change your address or take other precautions to protect yourself.

5. What can I do if I suspect the woman has ulterior motives, such as trying to convert me to her religion?

If you suspect that the woman has ulterior motives, it's best to trust your instincts and distance yourself from the situation. You do not owe anyone your time or attention if they are not respecting your boundaries.

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