Finding Age-Appropriate Toys for 12-Year-Old Tweens

[susanr613]

DS is 12 and an only child. We were in Target this morning to use a gift card and he chose matchbox cars and a Bionicle. When exH heard he blew up (does that quite a bit) and said that DS is still playing with the same toys he's been playing with for years and that's why he doesn't have a lot of friends etc etc....

SO I asked him if he knew which toys were age appropriate and of course the answer is no. I did agree that DS already has tons of cars, so instead he bought a Kinextix kit which is currently driving him crazy (lots of small plastic parts).

So, I'll throw the question out to you all - what do your tweens play with, besides video games? I would like to guide DS into making choices that will challenge him.

thanks -

 

[kcjodih]

Sorry I'm not of much help here. Mine will be 12 in November and besides his one hour of video games OR computer he just draws, reads or preferably heads outside to shoot hoops, play hockey, soccer or jump on the trampoline. Or go 4 wheeling.

He hasn't played with Bionicles or Hot Wheels in a few years. Not that that means anything though because for his 10th and 11th bdays he wanted Kinex or Imaginex building sets and then never finished them and I currently have HUGE sets up for sale.

That being said, my dd is 14 in grade 8 and has a classmate who lives, eats and breathes Lego and can't wait to get up in the morning and build.

So really every child is different so as long as he is happy and healthy and NOT playing video games day in and day out, I'd tell the exH to MELLOW OUT!!! Sounds like it's HIS complex and not your sons.

JMO (for what it's worth)

 

[Shawnna]

my son is 13 but he still gets his hot wheels out sometimes. Last year he even bought some new ones. Mostly he just looks at them...like a collection. I would let him play with whatever he wants. Why do we think they have to grow up so fast? Let them play. The next step up is expensive RC cars...and then girls!

 

[ChefBeckyD]

LOL - I had to laugh, because my big boy is 50....and still buys Hot Wheels.

He has a collection of different Dodge/Chrysler Hot Wheels, and when we find a new one, he adds it.

 

[nancycookspc]

my son is 15 1/2 and still plays and creates w/ legos...
He loves them...he keeps on expanding on his creativity and the sets. I picked up a mindstorms set at a thriftstore for $10, and he creates for hours!

Better that than video games ( which mine loves a little too much)

 

[Shawnna]

My son has been asking for legos lately...it seems to be the new craze

 

[pampchefsarah]

Susan, I agree with the others. If your son is still having fun with the cars and Bionicles, where's the harm? Why does he have to be 'just like everyone else?' Allowing him to express his own likes and dislikes, and accepting him for who he is, is much more beneficial in the long wrong, than forcing to play with something he's clearly not enjoying.

If you and your ex are concerned about your DS lack of friends, maybe you could look into clubs or camps which cater to his interests. First, though, find out if you DS is concerned! Is he lonely, or does really enjoy being alone?

 

[Saturday Gourmet]

Susan,

My nephew is the same way. At this age, they are "in between" stage. I think it's perfectly normal. I know I have a terrible time buying gifts for Zak. Part of him wants to do the "more grown up" stuff, but another part of him wants to still play knights having sword fights or Transformers. Everyone changes and develops at different stages in life and pushing them from one to the other isn't healthy, so I agree with Jodi, tell exH to Chill Out.
Tell exH to be happy with hotwheels, they're like 99 cents versus a $50 video game or dinner with a girlfriend.

Good luck!

 

[pcchefjane]

Your ex is being silly! My daughter's cousin played with the Bionicals until he was 14 or legos...then it went to $50-100 video games! Needless to say, he gets a $20 gift card now from her and her husband for Christmas. Maybe he might like some of the challenging sets of Legos but if not, let him be happy! My 26 yo SIL buys new Hot Wheels still! LOL!

 

[chefpenny99]

My DS is 13 also and he still LOVES Legos and Transformers. He even still drags out the Hot Wheels & their tracks on occasion. IMO, tell your ex to quit worring.

 

[Chef Bobby]

I never met a kid that didn't like fishing poles and tackle. It's also a good way to spend time with kids.

 

[beepampered]

Maybe your ex will play some board games with him - checkers, chinese checkers, twister, trouble, monopoly, backgammon and more. Gives him a chance to interact and teach him all those social graces.I observe many pre-teen boys to be "watchers" instead of participants. They just haven't found there place. Perhaps that's where organized sports help. Martial arts are a great place for less team sport kid.

 

[susanr613]

you guys are great - i always know i can turn to you when i need advice, a lift, or a listening ear.

DS is one of those kids who has just a couple close friends (girls who spoil him rotten), and he also likes to play on his own. when he does go to the park or something, he is not shy about inserting himself into a game or playing with someone, and he always has a great time. he went to overnight camp last year and loved it, so we are sending him again this year. we have talked about how to be a friend, and he seems ok with his status (not in the popular or popular wanna be crowds)

as you can see, his dad has his own issues and expectations, but every once in a while he really does come up with some wisdom. in this case it's not about DS not having friends, but it is about him being more challenged when he plays. that's why i did a reality check - with you and also on amazon. what are their recommendations for the 12 - 15 set? video games, board games, and building sets.

so, i'm glad i steered him away from the cars (he really does have a gazillion) but if he wants to blow his allowance on lego sets, i'm all for it.

thanks again so very much

 

[Chef Bobby]

Get him an electric motor for legos so his creations can move.

 

[esavvymom]

I'd much rather see the kids play with toys that engage their minds and creativity- versus just plugging into a computer game or video game and letting the computer play for you.

 

[cewcooks]

My Hubby is 42 and with the new Star Trek Movie out, the kid in him came out all over again and he now has new collectables for his collection including burger king glasses!

 

[tlag1986]

We live out in the country and have little to do with any type of computer games. I hope you enjoy your son on every day. That is all that truly matters.

 

[chefsteph07]

We get my 12 yr old stepson age appropriate things like science experiments, books, board games, more advanced type legos, remote control things, etc.
We kind of forced this issue of having him stop playing w/ bionicles and legos he's had since he was 6. We did feel the same way as your exH, that he needed to move on and grow w/ what was more his age. Once we steered him away from the younger age toys, he bacame interested in the new stuff that was more for his age.
I think it all depends on the maturity of the child. My ss is somewhat immature for his age, and we felt that encouraging the younger type toys was not doing him any good.

 

[wadesgirl]

Here's my thought on it: I grew up playing with Barbie's. That is until 6th grade when on the bus a younger neighbor and some other kids made fun of me for playing with "baby toys". Wow, I remember how bad that hurt, especially with how bad they were teasing me. But I still continued to play with them because that's what I liked to play with. Toys are toys, let him play with what makes him happy. If ex wants him to play with new toys, then let him do so at his house.