Dealing with Wedding Frustrations: Tips for Brides-to-Be

[mommyhugz1978]

Okay so I am a month away from getting married, and right now, I am in the process of moving into a new house, finishing the final details of the wedding, and my faincee through no avail is no help what so ever...... is it just me or is it a guy thing that they jsut sit their and look at you when you ask their opion about something???? And to make matters worse......I have been sick for the past three weeks...yeah I can see it now... wedding night.. and I am throwing up... what a day

 

[chefjeanine]

Yes, it is a guy thing and no, he really doesn't care about the things that you are worried about. Try to be okay with this and let him know that if he does have an opinion about some of the details, HE'D BETTER LET YOU KNOW.

Take a deep breath, "the wedding" will be over soon enough and then the important part (the marriage) can begin. BTW, I was sick for the entire honeymoon.

 

[mommyhugz1978]

I can hostly say this past month can not get over quick enough... it has littlerly been a month of HELL that is putting it mildly....... Iwillbe glad when the wedding is over and our marrage can start..... and hopefully I won't be sick for much longer

 

[tlennhoff]

MEN. I told my husband to just stay away and if he had an opinion he better share it early and be very specific otherwise I did not want to be angry with him for not helping/having opinions.

 

[raebates]

So sorry you're not feeling well. Be sure to take the time to take care of yourself. Get plenty of rest so you can really enjoy your special day. (Okay, so I sound like a mom. I am one, so I'm allowed. )

Men usually don't have any opinion about the decisions you're making for the wedding. Most of them just want to be told what to where and when to show up. My husband was in boot camp until the day before we married. I asked if he had any preferences. He said no. I sent him an itinerary with all the details pertaining to him once I had it all figured out. He loved it. As a matter of fact, we've been married for over 21 years, and he still talks with pride about how I took care of everything.

I've known men who were very interested in every detail and wanted to be part of every decision. Those men are not the norm.

Since he's not showing lots of enthusiasm, let your girlfriends help you iron out the "which peach matches the other peach better" type questions. If he objects to something later, remind him that he had his chance.

That said, I wish you all the best. Marriage can be absolutely wonderful! Enjoy the highs, work through the lows, and hold onto one another forever.

 

[chefann]

Mine was like that, too. Luckily, I quickly realized that some of those little teeny details that all the magazines and books obsess about are just there to sell magazines and books.

Most men think that all they have to do for their wedding is go to the bachelor party and show up for the ceremony.

It's the little things that go "wrong" (and I'm talking little things here, not biggies like the cake not showing up or all the catering being burnt) that will be memorable. My FIL didn't know how to put the studs into his tuxedo shirt, so he skipped them. Nobody noticed until we got pictures back and he had no black dots down the placket of the shirt. And DH didn't give FIL his boutenniere, either.

But with you sick, you might want to tell your fiancee that he NEEDS to help with something or there won't be anything to eat at the reception. Food (or lack of) is usually a good motivator. You never know, maybe he wants to help and share his opinion, but is overwhelmed because weddings are such a "girlie" thing.

JMHO

 

[dannyzmom]

Okay so I am a month away from getting married, and right now, I am in the process of moving into a new house, finishing the final details of the wedding, and my faincee through no avail is no help what so ever...... is it just me or is it a guy thing that they jsut sit their and look at you when you ask their opion about something???? And to make matters worse......I have been sick for the past three weeks...yeah I can see it now... wedding night.. and I am throwing up... what a day

It's a guy thing. Get used to it
And, if it's any consolation, the night before my wedding up I was up with a fever of 102. I had a urinary tract infection and was sick for the whole wedding...and don't even ask about my wedding night LOL

 

[mommyhugz1978]

The other night we were talking with my parents about the recpition details, and he is like well I want to do an ordurbe(sp) thing... I looked at him and said that is nice you should have said somethng to me about a month ago becasue were doign a sandwhich bar he rolled his eyes at me.... my dad laughed and said..... she is right ya know......

 

[Kathytnt]

WHen I got married last year I was basically in the driver seat - We made most decisions together but he deferred to me onsetting most things up - It did sort of help that we were paying for it so no parents could try to take over.
Although my step-monster did my shower and started pestering me for the guest list 3 months before the wedding- Hello, I am trying to figure out who I am inviting first - I am a little busy myself.
Sorry - I call her my step-monster because she says the most offenisve and upsetting things. My mom got diagnosed with cancer 3 weeks after our wedding. She passed away in June and the other day she (stepmother) asked me if I missed her - What the heck kind of question is that???

 

[AJPratt]

Sorry to hear about your frustrations! Men just don't get it and people who have planned a wedding before seem to forget what its like to do it. My husband is easily overwhelmed, so, taking someone else's avdive, I just gave him a list of things do do, but I only did it one thing at a time, and I emailed it to him. Like "Dave, I fell behind, would you please check about getting a license for me?" It worked!

Kathy: I am sooo sorry to hear about you Mom! What an awful step-monster you have!

 

[ChefLisa]

My husband was too involved in our wedding and our registry. He had an opinion on everything. Sometimes their lack of involvement is a blessing.

 

[mommyhugz1978]

I have to say through all of this he is a great help with my daughter... she is five..... so I can say he does help a little bit but when it comes down to the nitty gritty... OH MAN...... Oh well he is a guy right??

 

[beepampered]

If you feel like he needs to know about a decision, ask him when he can talk. "I want to make sure you're okay with this, can we discuss it after your football game?" Then, be quick and too the point. "I'm going to do it this way unless you have other thoughts." My husband can talk to me for 7-12 minutes (I've timed it) before his eyes glaze over and he stops listening. I no longer take this personally. I just wait a few hours and try again or assume that I get to make the decision.

So what should someone say to show interest in someone after a recent death? I want to tell the griever that I can't feel her pain but I am thinking of how she must be feeling. If you can't say, "do you miss her" to open up the conversation, what is a better way to show concern? (I have two friends in particular that I like to let them know that I'm thinking of them or, even more, I want to let them talk if they need too. Just don't know how to bring it up politely.)

 

[mommyhugz1978]

Yeah I figured that out too.... that when he gets a glazed over look that he has stopped listening to me. It's just really frustating sometimes........ becasue when I need something he looks at me like I am stupid sometimes.... go figure.....

 

[tlennhoff]

So what should someone say to show interest in someone after a recent death? I want to tell the griever that I can't feel her pain but I am thinking of how she must be feeling. If you can't say, "do you miss her" to open up the conversation, what is a better way to show concern? (I have two friends in particular that I like to let them know that I'm thinking of them or, even more, I want to let them talk if they need too. Just don't know how to bring it up politely.)

I am sure you are missing x. If you ever want to talk I'm here. I think of you and the pain you must be going through frequently but am not sure how to bring up the subject with you.

 

[Kathytnt]

I guess my step-mother just has a communication issue - She seems to find something to upset us at almost every family gathering. At Christmas last year while mom was in the hospital starting chemo she had a fit because we made a baked ham and brought in some other food. She said she was bringing some meat and cheese sandwiches and my brother has a 2 hour drive home. Most restaurants are closed. She was a guest in my sister's home. We are constantly biting our tongue because we don't want to hurt our Dad but he doesn't seem to care how she treats us. No on ewants to host anything (with her attending) for Christmas because of the last incident. My brother had brought a brisket but after she had a cow about the ham he didn't dare bring it in the house. I kid with my new hubby that he never realized how normal HIS family is until he met mine.

 

[Kathytnt]

WHEN IS THE BIG DAY???? My first anniversary is 11-12-05 Trust me it got a little stressful but as it got closer I was pretty calm. I figured I had done all I could and just leave in to the vendors I contracted with to be there. Everything went great except I forgot to put on my veil. Everyone said my hair looked so good that the veil would have just covered it up. Need a pretty veil??? Hugs, Kathy

 

[mommyhugz1978]

The Big day is December 1, 2006!!!! 30 days and counting!!!

WHEN IS THE BIG DAY???? My first anniversary is 11-12-05 Trust me it got a little stressful but as it got closer I was pretty calm. I figured I had done all I could and just leave in to the vendors I contracted with to be there. Everything went great except I forgot to put on my veil. Everyone said my hair looked so good that the veil would have just covered it up. Need a pretty veil??? Hugs, Kathy