Vent/Frustration/I Just Don't Know What to Do...

[chefkathy]

Becky, you could really be the bigger person and invite her over for coffee or a play date If I were in your shoes, I would probably send a shorter email. I think the other info would be wasted on her; her first email shows you that she truly does not understand the way this business works.

 

[Chef Kearns]

Okay coming from someone kinda in the neighbor's shoes...what would you do?

A mom at our Elementary school started selling Premeire last year. She asked all of the moms to host for her (not me). So they all told her they would I guess and began having parties. Well they all started telling me how relentless she was and how they were pushed into hosting the party. That she wouldn't stop calling them until they set a date. They said it was harrassing, BUT she is a friend. Well, she recruited an acquaintance of mine. I shared with her (because she has a naturally agressive personality) that she should approach her business a bit different. Since we all kinda know the same people and such. I said these are the things being said about your recruiter, so while she's training you try to come up with ways you can run your business without being as pushy. Well, it got back to the original Premiere gal and she's all pissed. Of course none of our friends are owning up to ever saying that to me. The way I am painted right now is that I'm just jealous of her Premiere success since none of them have had a PC party for me.

It is frustrating. I know now that I should've just kept my trap shut! However, I was approaching her from one DS colleague to another. I've called the original gal to try to explain to her, but she isn't taking my call. I want to just bless and release, but I hate to think of them all slandering me. This is a very catty group of women (think Jr. High). Should I send her an email or blow it off?

 

[Chef Kearns]

Oh, BTW I like your "long" email Becky. I agree that changing the wording to "taken aback" will come across less confrontational.

 

[Mel5497]

I would avoid sending the email; it's too easy to be misread and you have no control over where it ends up (as in forwarded to all the other neighbors) .
In the long run, it sounds like there is more to gain by getting together for coffee. She may be totally clueless that she hurt/offended you.

 

[PampMomof3]

Hey Becky,

I would not send that email mainly b/c it's your neighbor. If it was joe blow then I probably would but my vote is to not send it.

Do/did you feel better after you wrote it? If so, good! Send a much much shorter one thanking her for bringing it to your attention or something along those lines.

 

[BethCooks4U]

Becky,

My first thought was "great email, send it" but on second thought I'd call her instead or if you do send an email, make it short and sweet, thanking her for her observations and that's it. Then just keep doing what you're doing.


Sandy,

I'd let it go. Those that are your friends will understand that you were trying to help. You know, what goes around comes around. I had a very aggressive person on my team - "you owe me" was her way to get bookings. Well, she never did very well and is currently inactive. You get more with sugar...

 

[pamperedbecky]

Well, I sent a MUCH shorter email, thanked her a few times, let her know there is an option to removed from my email list, let her know that she gave me some things to think about and I ended with my plan to do the HWC show and since I don't want to pre-judge whether or not she or other neighbors would want to attend, I'll invite who I normally would invite and they can decide whether or not to come. It's done!! I'm glad I didn't go the route of the HUGE email. It was short and got points across that I needed to.

It's over! I don't expect any kind of response and hopefully won't get one. The more I thought about it, SHE should have been the one to call instead of email. Maybe her tone would have been light and friendly over the phone. And maybe she should have said something like, "Because I know you enjoy the relationships you have in the neighborhood and because if I were in your position, I would want to know these things, I just want to make sure you're aware some neighbors think you aggressively work the neighborhood, blah blah blah."

Anyway, thanks again EVERYONE for your input. HOpefully you'll near nothing further about all of this!

 

[amy07]

Wow Becky! This whole thing had me thinking about what/how I talk to people.


Anyways, I'm glad to see that you sent her a much shortened version. To be honest, I think everything else would have validated her position, that you are too involved in PC World. I felt like you were defending yourself, and it is NOT needed. It is apparent that she has a perceived image of you. And unfortunately, someone's perception is often their reality.

I'm sure it stung, and probably still does. And if I were in your shoes, I would've been bawling! I'm such a big sissy!!

I'm sure your Realtor neighbor talks about how the economy is affecting her business, but at the same time is encouraging potentials that this is a buyers market! Unfortunately, DS does not have the same reputation in the sales world as a viable and/or reputable source of income - unless you are already in it and understand it. To many of the general population DS is viewed as a "cute Mommy job". Puhleeeeeze! Those of us who depend on the income or have had the pleasure of having taken a trip KNOW that it provides more. And while part of our job is to inform/invite, we shouldn't waste our breath and/or energy on those who do not care or have enough of an open mind to explore the possiblities.

Take her words for what they are, words. If she had truly been sincere in her "advice" she would've called or been on your doorstep. Some good advice I heard lately is "Hurting people hurt people". Pray for the group!

 

[Mel5497]

The more I thought about it, SHE should have been the one to call instead of email.

Great point!!!!!!!