Unsupportive Spouse - Vent Warning!!!

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Discussion Overview

This thread centers around participants sharing their experiences with unsupportive spouses while managing their Pampered Chef businesses. Many express feelings of frustration and seek validation for their struggles, while others share personal anecdotes about navigating similar challenges.

Discussion Character

  • Anecdotal
  • Opinion-based
  • Exploratory

Main Points Raised

  • One participant, identifying as a consultant, describes how her husband initially supported her business but has become less supportive as she tries to increase her involvement.
  • Another participant shares that while her husband is generally supportive, he sometimes undermines her efforts, feeling guilty about her working extra hours.
  • Several users mention the importance of setting clear boundaries and office hours to help manage expectations with their spouses.
  • One participant notes that establishing a date night has helped her husband understand the need to separate work from personal time.
  • Another participant reflects on how her husband’s support fluctuates, often depending on the perceived benefits of her business, such as trips and free products.
  • One user expresses that her husband feels neglected due to her business commitments, leading to feelings of resentment.
  • Several participants emphasize the need for open communication about needs and expectations in the relationship.
  • One participant recounts how her husband’s attitude changed after experiencing the benefits of her business firsthand.

Areas of Agreement / Disagreement

Views differ significantly among participants regarding the level of support from their spouses. While some report ongoing challenges, others share strategies that have helped improve their situations. No clear consensus emerges on how to best handle unsupportive partners.

Contextual Notes

Participants share a range of experiences, from newly starting their businesses to those who have been involved for years. The discussions reflect a variety of personal circumstances, including balancing work and family life.

Who May Find This Useful

This discussion may be relevant for Pampered Chef consultants experiencing similar challenges with their spouses, particularly those seeking to understand different perspectives and coping strategies.

J
jrny2001
Silver Member
Messages
258
I started my Biz in April. He (my husband) was fine with it. Now that I am trying to pick up the pace a bit and really try to work my biz, attend every training I can, spend some evenings on the phone or getting ready for shows (while he is watching his tv shows), my husband is giving major attitude!! He's making me second guess this whole thing. :mad:

Thanks for leting me vent!!!
 
Sorry you are dealing with that. My DH is fairly supportive but when I need to get on the phone or get organized I am at times undermined. Because I initially started this to generate more income I think he feels bad - like I have to do "extra work" and he doesn't want me to have to. Chivalry... I just tell him to pick his knuckles up off the ground and move on.

What he doesn't seem to realize is how much I love to do it. Even when I am overwhelmed I am careful not to complain. Good luck - make the ribs in the deep covered baker. Maybe that will work!
 
He can't MAKE you second guess your decision---you have to do that on your own! Set your schedule, even if with his input, and stick to it! Consistency is key to our business, not just with recruiting and shows, but in our 'office time' as well.
Good luck to you in your business!
 
My husband is usually supportive but there are times that he is far from that. It's my fault though. I tend to LOOK like I'm working all the time. So now I have office hours and no work hours. There are times that I say "I will be on the phone tonight" or "for the next 2 hours" and there are times that I do not answer the phone or schedule anything.

We have set aside one week night for date night and neither of us is supposed to work in any manner that night (he has broken the "rule" twice already!). That has helped a lot. He sees that I am trying to separate my work from my "life" which is hard for me.

It's hard for many people who are self-employed. I think that's why so many end up failing. Everyone needs to get away from work and enjoy the things that we say we chose this kind of work for in the first place.
 
jrny2001 said:
I started my Biz in April. He (my husband) was fine with it. Now that I am trying to pick up the pace a bit and really try to work my biz, attend every training I can, spend some evenings on the phone or getting ready for shows (while he is watching his tv shows), my husband is giving major attitude!! He's making me second guess this whole thing. :mad:

Thanks for leting me vent!!!
Click to expand...
Oh my gosh! First of all don't apologize we all do it! Husbands will be husbands and you just need to tell him the benefits you are getting out of it.. Everyone is in it for different reasons... I enjoy the products, the giving free stuff away or at discounted prices, and I have made lots of friends in which you will not find a more supportive bunch than this... that being said good luck with your business and keep your chin up!
 
Better to vent here than to your DH. Having said that, you must have a chat with him in a loving kind sort of way. Tell him how great he is, tell him your sorry for blah blah blah, ask him what he wants/needs, and tell him what you need/want. Then make an agreement and stick to it. You may have to give a little, but hopefully, he will give too.
 
Wait till you take him on the first PC trip all expense paid. Then he may see things diffently. I was in the same boat with you.
 
That was my answer. My husband always says that he supports my business, but I get the groans and grumbles about the time it takes... but he loves the trips. so he usually keeps his comments to himself
 
Been there, done that! If you really love doing this, just stand your ground. That is what I did and he doesn't complain so much anymore. He still fusses at times when I have shows and he has to watch our two year old by himself. (Don't know what would happen if something happened to me). I just smile inside really big and say "Bye, I love you and I will see you tonight." When I have shows, that is the only time that I have to myself. I am a SAH mom and I babysit my friends 2 kids. I have to have PC for my sanity. Good luck!
 
Chef Stacy Edwards said:
Wait till you take him on the first PC trip all expense paid. Then he may see things diffently. I was in the same boat with you.
Click to expand...
Or better yet, threaten to take a friend instead! LOL:D

I would flat out call him on his behavior. My husband wasn't supportive when I was doing a HUGE volunteer project when we were 1st married, and I called him on it. He apologized and said that wasn't his intention - he's never done again.
 
missyciccolella said:
Or better yet, threaten to take a friend instead! LOL:D

I would flat out call him on his behavior. My husband wasn't supportive when I was doing a HUGE volunteer project when we were 1st married, and I called him on it. He apologized and said that wasn't his intention - he's never done again.
Click to expand...
I agree. My husband waffles between being my best cheerleader and thinking I should give it up but he loves the trips and other perks (like the SS cookware :love: ). If I really think about it his complaints come when I'm not working smart so it's not all bad. We all need checks and balances.

The problem with this business is that some poeple don't take it seriously - it's just a pin money or play thing - not a business. ...if they only knew! And it's our job to get them (DH's and prospective recruits) to see the possibilities!
 
Boy am I sorry to hear that. I really don't know what to say. My DH has claimed for the last 5 or so years that i am never home. I wish I had a time clock to punch to show him how much I am home. I am careful to not be on the phone too much (it bothers him). He calls me Pampered Evelyn (w/sarcasm). Claims I am a salesperson. He thinks PC replaced our marriage though when I go do shows he usually falls asleep or is in front of the TV. Am I supposed to just sit in front of the TV with him and watch life pass by?
I wonder if he is just envious of the fun and friends?
 
Running a Pampered Chef business can definately be time consuming, especially if you have a large number of shows/training each month. When I was building up my business, I remember I would do shows whenever people wanted just because I was happy to have the shows. That way it seemed I would have a week without shows and then another week with 3-4 shows in a row. I also was in the "honeymoon" period where I was so excited and was doing all of the training I could, talking over ideas with other consultants, going online to review materials etc.

Once I set regular business hours as Beth suggested things were easier on me and my family. My husband appreciated knowing ahead of time when I was working and when I wasn't.

Try discussing what you both feel are reasonable hours/boundaries. Getting his imput should make a big difference in the support.
 
After only being in PC for 1 week, I have a grumbling husband myself...but after making plenty of goodies when trying out recipes he doesn't complain too much. His biggest complaint is that we don't see each other or spend time together. I work FT during the day, have a PT job in a retail store and now PC. I hope to give up the PT job if PC works out. I keep telling him, you won't be complaining when we have new cookware for practically nothing! I think they get you to really think whether or not its worth it because they haven't seen the rewards like everyone else out there who has gone on cruises and other trips that were paid for. I tell my DH give it time...
 
It took me a year to get my hubby to agree to me selling PC. He likes the money part of it but hates when I have to do shows, call people, go to meetings, buy supplies, and pretty much anything else to do with it. Oh and he loves when I make sell athons and get free product. He is a turd head and I tell him that i like it. I was doing 4 shows a month, but now that i am in school I am going to do 1 a month, but I haven't gotten that far yet, still doing several from what I had booked! Tell him to get over it!! :p really you need to talk aboutit and tell him you love wht you do. i finally got mine to hush!!
 
  • Thread starter
  • #16
Thank you so much! I'm glad I'm not alone. I will discuss this with him and set some business hours. Good Advice. I will NOT let him destroy my dream!!! But a little support would be nice.
 

Frequently Asked Questions

What should I do if my spouse is unsupportive of my Pampered Chef business?

It's important to have an open and honest conversation with your spouse about your business. Share your goals, why this is important to you, and how it can benefit your family. Listen to their concerns and try to find common ground. Sometimes, simply understanding each other's perspectives can help bridge the gap.

How can I encourage my spouse to be more supportive of my direct sales efforts?

Involve your spouse in your business by sharing your successes and challenges. Invite them to attend events or parties with you, or ask for their input on new ideas. Showing them the positive aspects of your business can help them feel more connected and supportive.

What if my spouse is skeptical about the financial aspects of my Pampered Chef business?

Address their concerns by providing clear information about your earnings, expenses, and potential for growth. Create a budget together that outlines your business finances and how it fits into your overall family budget. Transparency can help alleviate fears and build trust.

How can I manage my emotions when feeling unsupported by my spouse?

It's natural to feel frustrated or hurt when your spouse is unsupportive. Take time to vent to friends or fellow consultants who understand your journey. Practice self-care and focus on the positive aspects of your business. Remember that your passion and dedication can inspire your spouse over time.

Should I consider scaling back my business if my spouse remains unsupportive?

Before making any decisions, have a candid discussion with your spouse about their concerns and your commitment to your business. If you feel that scaling back is necessary for your relationship, consider finding a balance that allows you to pursue your passion while addressing their worries. Ultimately, communication is key to finding a solution that works for both of you.

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