Should I Address My Director's Recent Hostess Sign-Up?

[mhrivera]

I know i don't post much, but thanks for letting me vent a little. A couple of years ago, when I only had about 6 months in the biz, I had a show scheduled. Then, my father in law had a massive heart attack (ultimately he passed away), but since I was going out of town last minute, I asked my director to cover that show for me. I did not ask for any commission or anything out of it. I tried to follow up for a while with her and others that were in her "circle," but never heard from them again.

Fast forward to a month ago, and my director has now signed and qualified that hostess! My heart says that she probably just forgot who it was, and continued to follow up with her as a past host, but I am really hurt. I am her first or second best consultant in her cluster, and she really does do a lot to help me out. I have been working towards being a director for a long time, and it's been slow (I do promote Oct 1st to Future!), so I really could have used this business and the recruit.

I want to bring it up so I can move past it and not have any hard feelings between me and my director (or the new girl on our team), but I don't know what to say.

Thanks for letting me vent a little, and I look forward to reading some suggestions!

 

[JAE]

Wow, I don't know what I'd say to my director in this situation or if I'd say anything. You were in a rush and gave her the show w/o saying anything more. I think you may need to bless and release because there isn't anything you can do about what your director or that host has done.

The only thing is that you really need to talk to someone about how to handle this sort of situation in the future and you should be able to talk to your director about it, but because it happened with her it will be hard to ask her for advice. Hopefully, someone here will give you good advice in place of asking your director.

 

[rennea]

Did you ever have a conversion with the host about becoming a consultant? You said the show was sometime ago, did you call the host back after the show? Was this host a customer of your director before you started?

 

[chefsteph07]

Well, honestly, you gave the show to someone else, although I know it was out of your control, but that host probably just took on your director as her consultant, so it would only be natural that she would sign w/ her. Especially if there was nothing stated in good faith between the two of you, like she would do the show and keep commission, but you get the bookings, etc.
I would just let this one go, it's unfortunate, but sometimes that's the way things go. I'm sorry that she fell out of your circle due to a bad circumstance! Another one will come along!

 

[pamperedlinda]

Did you stay in touch with that host? Did you have a conversation with her about becoming a consultant?

 

[BethCooks4U]

Did you stay in touch with that host? Did you have a conversation with her about becoming a consultant?

It doesn't matter if she did or not. HO will not switch consultants even if all parties involved agree it's for the best. I know from experience.

 

[pamperedlinda]

It doesn't matter if she did or not. HO will not switch consultants even if all parties involved agree it's for the best. I know from experience.

I know that. I was just asing b/c if she didn't follow-up with the lady then her feelings shouldn't be hurt, but if she did then she has every right to be miffed about it.

 

[mhrivera]

I did try to follow up, but she never answered my calls or responded to my emails. I probably called for a few months every so often, and emailed her my specials for about a year. It is very possible that she just preferred my director as a consultant (I'm sure that happens all the time), but the fact that my director didn't push her back my way makes me a little sad.

 

[janetupnorth]

Best thing to do is bless and release. If it bothers you, I would have a talk with your director about your feelings, air them then move on.Truth is, if you didn't have a talk with this lady before the show and mention the opportunity, your director has full right too. If you DID have that conversation, your director should have directed her to you first. Either way, she is still your director and it is best for team and business to work it out even though it sucks for you a little.Hindsight still doesn't tell you how she would have reacted to you sharing the same opportunity.I truly believe if you bless and release you will in turn be blessed for your example.

 

[pamperedlinda]

I did try to follow up, but she never answered my calls or responded to my emails. I probably called for a few months every so often, and emailed her my specials for about a year. It is very possible that she just preferred my director as a consultant (I'm sure that happens all the time), but the fact that my director didn't push her back my way makes me a little sad.

I can understand that. Was she someone you knew well before her show? If no, it could be that she had a sense of loyalty to your director since she did the show. How did you get the show to begin with? Was it a booking from another show? Did you take her off your email list since she never responded back to you? Could be that when she decided to join she didn't think of you if she no longer heard from you.

It's tough, but honestly I'd rather lose a recruit that way than one you had been workign with.

 

[rennea]

I can understand that. Was she someone you knew well before her show? If no, it could be that she had a sense of loyalty to your director since she did the show. How did you get the show to begin with? Was it a booking from another show? Did you take her off your email list since she never responded back to you? Could be that when she decided to join she didn't think of you if she no longer heard from you.

It's tough, but honestly I'd rather lose a recruit that way than one you had been workign with.

I agree with Linda. We asked the same questions

 

[cmdtrgd]

There is no way to "push" someone towards another consultant. It is up to the recruit to choose who s/he wants to sign with. Since you didn't have contact with her (via her not returning your calls) and it seems like you stopped trying (you said you emailed her for about a year), she wasn't your recruit. I was working with a potential recruit 1.5 years ago. I met her at a booth, did a host coaching and she wanted to sign after her show. Her friend was recruited by a sister consultant of mine and asked to come to the show I did to be trained. The host ended up signing with her friend after I worked closely with her for 3 months. It very well could have been the host's choice, but I do believe she was pressured into signing under her friend. Unfortunately she never did anything since she never got training from her upline.

 

[chefsteph07]

Honestly, the only way you should be miffed is if your director recruited her before the close of the show you were supposed to do...otherwise, you said it's been years that have gone past w/o this host, obviously she stuck w/ your director, and she worked to get her to sign so she should be congratulated and you should move on...obviously there may have been a lack of communication w/ you, the host and your director, but for this issue to only come up right NOW that she is signed makes me think that you just let her go and now you are having issue w/ the situation. I don't mean to be insensitive in any way, because I know how we get in the heat of the moment, but I think if you take a step back you will see the big picture of it all and give props to your director, UNLESS you feel your director deceived you in any way, then I would bring it up to her.

 

[crystalscookingnow]

I'm in agreement with the others. I'm sorry that you feel like you lost out on a recruit, but I'm not sure that you did.

One of my first recruits was a young girl. She was actually my directors (distant cousin). I offered the opp & worked with her. My director could have been miffed at me, but instead she congratulated me & said, 'Hmm, guess I should have talked to her first'. Which is totally right.

I think you'd have more to be miffed at if you had worked with the host & she was planning to sign with you at her show. You said that it's been years, so I would say, your director had every right to recruit her. Besides, when she had her show long ago, she may not have been ready to sign. She & your director might have really hit it off. It's best to bless & release & congratulate your director. You'll probably be the only one uncomfortable, if you don't.

Now - go find someone else to take her place on your team! that is meant with total support & encouragement. Please don't take it the wrong way.

 

[crissy11]

My director has done this to me on a few occassions. One time I had sinus surgery and the day I came home from the hospital this lady who used to sell under me called and my husband said I couldn't come to the phone. She called my director and wanted to ask some questions about resigning. My director signed her herself. She did know that I had surgery and didn't say anything to the recruit but told me that since I didn't return her phone call that she signed her. HELLO!!!!
Another time she found out a home office lead of mine was someone that she used to do shows for years before and she called the person and told her that she couldn't sign with me since she had done shows with my director before that she had to sign with her.
The last straw was a couple of months ago... I got a home office lead and talked with the lady and was to call back that evening to talk more. The lady went to a yard sale and met one of my director's consultants and my director encouraged her to sign with her consultant. This was done by phone from the yard sale. The lead even remembered my name and told my director that we had talked. My director called me and bragged.
I am her gravy every month and always has been. If it hadn't been for my sales and my team she would not have been a director all of this time. At the time of the latest incident I had received my letter that I would lose directorship if I didn't have 5 active by the next month. You would think my director would not have deliberately done this to me. We have been in the business over 10 years and there have been numerous other times that she has done stuff.
Now I only speak to her thru email and only answer questions that I want to.

 

[heat123]

Bless and Release was my first thought!