Pre-K vs Kindergarten: Considering Holding Back My DD for Social Readiness

[ChefBeckyD]

My daughter goes to a private Lutheran school. I take her in the school and up to the classroom each day. In fact, they ENCOURAGE it so they can communicate with the parents. The preschool there which DS may attend next year REQUIRES that you drop your child off in the classroom.I hope the rights of private schools like this don't decrease...During the day, they do lock the doors and you have to ring and have someone open the door - that is for security purposes so not anyone walks into the school. I don't mind that because I don't want a stranger walking in mid-day where my DD is...

DS's preschool is the same way. (and it's a public school) The only door that you can get into during the day is by the office - where you have to check in before you can go any further. All other doors are locked, and you have to ring a bell - and there is a security camera - if you are recognized, they will buzz you in - if not, you are asked to come to the door by the office and check in. I also have to drop DS off and pick him up from his class. Plus we have to sign in and out. I had to provide a list of 2-3 other people who would be authorized to pick him up, and they have to present I.D. if they pick him up instead of me or DH.I think some of this is because of stranger danger, but I know from many of the questions on the form I had to fill out that much of the security is to protect from non-custodial parents coming and taking children from school.
Kids may not go with a stranger - but they would go with a parent.

 

[lkprescott]

DS's preschool is the same way. (and it's a public school) The only door that you can get into during the day is by the office - where you have to check in before you can go any further. All other doors are locked, and you have to ring a bell - and there is a security camera - if you are recognized, they will buzz you in - if not, you are asked to come to the door by the office and check in. I also have to drop DS off and pick him up from his class. Plus we have to sign in and out. I had to provide a list of 2-3 other people who would be authorized to pick him up, and they have to present I.D. if they pick him up instead of me or DH.

I think some of this is because of stranger danger, but I know from many of the questions on the form I had to fill out that much of the security is to protect from non-custodial parents coming and taking children from school.
Kids may not go with a stranger - but they would go with a parent.

Yup.. our elementary school has locked doors now and a buzzer system with a camera. The secretary knows me otherwise there's a speaker that booms out "yes?" so you state your purpose. Everyone has to sign in though... even if you volunteer. Unless you go to a after school meeting everyone must sign in which is a big PITA on party days. LOL..

DD's school has a front desk where you are buzzed through a locked door by an attendant at the desk. Wasn't always like that but times are a changing. Both schools have a list of who is allowed to pick up the kids and you have to provide ID if they don't know you. Most of it is keeping the kids safe from anyone, known or not.. plus with all the school incidents that keep getting reported, they have to do what they can to minimize their liability too. Even the high school's locked down which I don't know how they change classes now... we used to sneak out and cut through the parking lots (our high school is HUGE and getting from one end to the other in your alloted time was always a challenge - made larger as they expanded the school after I graduated).. but last time we stopped in for something we had to buzz in.. unless there's a game or show... then the high school is wiiiide open... kinda weird.

When DD was littler and didn't have the patience to sit for half an hour til a concert started, we'd wander the halls and I'd see where I could remember and where the new part started and ended... they rearranged that school so much I can't even find my old locker.

 

[Chef Michelle D]

I do think some children are ready for school before others. I have a friend that's ds is in the 3rd grade with mine. When they were in kind. togher he would have benefited from another year at home. His birthday is in the middle of Aug. so he was just 5 when school started and he was a mess for a long time. It took him half way through 1st grade to really come into his own. His problem was mostly social but a little accidemically too. You will do what's best for your child.

Our school also had all the doors locked during the day and you have to be buzzed in and check in at the office. We are not allowed to just "drop in" on the classrooms. It's not fair to the teachers and the children for the parents to be coming by to check what is going on. I do agree there are some people who should not be teachers but that is for the principle to decide. If I am not happy with what my child says about his teacher or about some work that comes home then I would be at the office talking about it. But it's not up to me to monitor the classroom and see what is going on. Again that is up to the principle.

 

[Shawnna]

I feel that it is our job to "monitor" what is going on in our children's classrooms. When there is a problem some people can "pull the wool over" even the administrator's eyes. I have actually seen it happen. I do not condone barging into the classroom, but I do believe you and the principal can go to the classroom unanounced. You should always go through the proper channels...the teacher, the principle, the school board, etc. Sometimes people abuse their athourity over children for years before anyone above them finds out. If there seems to be a real problem you don't want to wait until a child is hurt before someone takes action.

Again, I am not saying that we should constantly be disrupting a classroom, but I feel that I should be able to see my child's teacher in her normal routine. If she knows you are coming her routine will not be normal.

 

[tvwalsh72]

As a teacher, I completely disagree with parents dropping in on class. After Oct 1 I do not allow parents to walk their children down to the room. I'm not trying to keep them out, I'm trying to make children more independant. In the past I've had moms come down, everyday, undress their children, take out their pencils, help them get their work started etc. . . Then the parent would stick around and want to chat with me. The PTA actually paid to make the school like fort knots. They are the ones that wanted more security so we could get our jobs done.

I'm getting paid to teach children from 8:15 - 2:45 and it makes hard with disruptions. Children have a hard enough time focusing on tasks now a days. I am more than happy to bend over backward for parents at any time, even during my breaks.

As a parent, we are required to walk our pre-schoolers into school. I walk DD into school. She is responsible for undressing, washing her hands (required) etc. . . We say our goodbyes and that is it. I will not be able to drop her at K next year, we live in a different school district. I want her to have the confidence to be able to walk into school and know what to do.

Just my perspective from both sides,

Tricia

 

[paigetucker]

I'm a former kindergarten teacher and if she is doing well academically do not hold her back! She will be fine. Young Girls also adjust a lot better then young boys from my experience as a teacher. But either way send her on!

 

[Shawnna]

Some parents have more problems than the kids do when it comes time to start school...LOL I know parents who do their child's homework. I have seen the parent who lingers while their child cries and clings to them. Generally when you walk away your child calms down and goes about their business. They have to put up a fuss...mom might let them go back home if they fuss enough. It is aweful to have to peel a child out of their parents' arms, but after a few days of it, they realize mom is coming back and they like school.

My point on being able to see a teacher (unanounced) in action is that if there is a problem that isn't being addressed by the school...and it happens sometimes...a parent should be able to walk with the administration to the room and stand outside to see what is going on in the classroom. Sometimes they will see the problem is the student and sometimes they will be able to see what is going on with the teacher. I have seen teachers threaten students physically, I have seen teachers who read the paper and let the students do whatever they want...and then expect the students to have their homework finished correctly the next day without being instructed. I have seen teachers grab students by the arm and shake them and even swat their behind with their hand. My daughter spent most of the 4th grade watching movies...that I wouldn't let her watch at home. As a parent we have to let the school do their job, but we have to make sure that they are doing it. These types of things happen in schools all the time, but rarely when administration or parents are there to see it. This is part of the reason we have No Child Left Behind, and while a big part of it is not good, a lot of it is...and it is a start. So many schools are far behind where they need to be in the education process. We have to stay involved and make sure our children are getting everything they need to function as adults. As a child of an educator and as an early childhood professional I have looked at this from all sides. WE HAVE TO STAY INVOLVED...even if it means surprise visits to the school and classroom. Teachers need to make parents feel welcome in their classroom at all times and parents need to be supportive of their child's teachers. We have to be accountable for our part of our child's education and we have to demand that our schools are held accountable for their part.