Meanest Mom on the Planet: A Lesson in Parenting and Tough Love

[chefann]

This was posted on the forum DH admins, and the woman it's about was on Ellen today.

http://www.desmoinesregister.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080109/NEWS01/801090376/1001/NEWS

If you don't want to go to the article, basically a couple bought a car for their son with 2 rules: it had to be kept locked, and no alcohol was allowed in it. Mom went to visit the son at school and passed the car in the lot. She went up to it, and it was unlocked (strike 1). So she took a peek inside and found a bottle of alcohol under the front seat. The son said it wasn't his - he had driven some friends home from a party the night before. But the rule was NO alcohol in the car.

The mom took out the following ad in the paper:
OLDS 1999 Intrigue
Totally uncool parents who obviously don't love teenage son, selling his car. Only driven for 3 weeks before snoopy mom who needs to get a life found booze under front seat. $3,700/offer. Call meanest mom on the planet.

I know we've had a lot of discussions here about parenting. I think this mom did the right thing! Her son broke the rules, and she followed through.

 

[JAE]

Yes, she did the right thing. A car is such good leverage, and her son's safety is at stake. It may not keep him from drinking or being stupid, but it will keep him from driving while drinking and being stupid. What else can you do when your child is in college? And, she had every right to be snoopy and then put the car up for sale if she bought the car and made the deal with her son. I'm in that meanest mom club, too!

 

[kspry]

That's funny - sounds like the ad was created from choice phrases the son may have said when the car got taken away for sale.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

I'm sure one day my son will call me the meanest mom on the planet, too. Already gearing myself up for it!(but we are still at the stage where, this morning, he gave me a big hug around my neck and said "You are my favoritest mommy I've ever had")

 

[DebbieJ]

I saw that last week. LOVE IT!!!!! There are so many parents who never follow through on their rules and threats. This mom followed through and more!

 

[wadesgirl]

I read that story when it first came out a few weeks ago, good for those parents!!! Kids these days seem to think they can do what ever they want and not face the consequences. Guess what... busted! Bet he'll think twice when he has to pay for his own car and take the bus from now on.

 

[janetupnorth]

I saw it a bit ago too. She did the right thing - sticky to consequences for actions!

 

[chefann]

Here's the funniest part - SHE's the one who used the "meanest mom" language in the ad.Ellen likes to give all of her guests something. She gave the son 2 bumper stickers: "How's my driving? Call my mom at xxxx" and "My mom's meaner than your mom." (She also gave him a PlayStation and Guitar Hero.)

 

[etteluap70PC]

I LOVE this!!! Yes there are some parents out there who actually ecpect their kids to Follow rules!!!!! Yayyy....... There is hope!

 

[wadesgirl]

Here's the funniest part - SHE's the one who used the "meanest mom" language in the ad.

Ellen likes to give all of her guests something. She gave the son 2 bumper stickers: "How's my driving? Call my mom at xxxx" and "My mom's meaner than your mom." (She also gave him a PlayStation and Guitar Hero.)

A few years back, I was driving with my sister. Since they had a bunch of lumber in the back of the van, me and her older kids were sitting on the floor because the seats were taken out (yes, not very safe but the only choice at that point). We headed to the next town which is a college town and right in front of us, some kid blew a stop sign from the highway ramp causing my sister to slam on her brakes and all of us flew foward, I hit my head on something. She was so mad, she speed up behind the kid to get his license plate number and a description of the car. As she drove past him, he didn't even acknowledge that he knew he did something wrong. My sister drove straight to the police station and turned him in. Bad part, the car was registered to his parents so the cops told her they would contact his parents about the issue. Oops!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

I've got a friend who follows kids home. Of course, he's about 6'2 and goes at least 275, so he can get away with this: He followed one kid right into the driveway and walked right up to the car. He reached in through the window and took the keys out of the ignition. Well, of course, the kid went nuts. "YOU CAN'T DO THAT!""I just did.""I'm going to go tell my dad and have him call the police!""That's a really good idea," Dave said to him. "I'll go with you - right now. In fact, I'll introduce myself and tell him to call the police. Then we can both tell the police what a fu*$#@! idiot you are. I'm sure your father would like to know just how you drive his vehicle when he's not in it!"Dave walked up to the front door and rang the bell while the kid cowered in the front seat.

 

[wadesgirl]

I had some kid rear end me in a parking lot, not very hard but I was already having a bad day and it did hurt my neck causingme to have a headache. It was some 16 year old kid in a Mitshubshi Eclipse (while I'm in a $4000 used car go figure). I scared the crap out him, threatened to call his parents - he was so scared I figured that was enough that he probably told his parents himeself. No damage was done to either car and hopefully he learned his lesson.

 

[Kristina21]

Wow, this is great! My 16 year old brother didn't think it was too great...he identified with the Son more then the Mom I think. lol

 

[DomesticGoddess]

A few months ago, I was rear-ended by a 19 year-old girl that was on the cell phone. I was stopped at an off ramp waiting to enter a highway, she was talking on the phone and not paying attention. She hit hard enough to crack my bumper. I saw her coming, couldn't move forward so I just relaxed my body so that I would be less hurt. She was really upset. Her father called me to make appropriate arrangements and asked what happened. I let him know the details (she forgot to mention she was on the phone). Later, he told me that her driving and cell phone privileges were taken away, she had to pay back the damages ($800) and send me a letter of apology. I still had to have therapy on my neck and back, but it wasn't bad. Her dad said that was upset her most - knowing that she could have really hurt someone.

 

[chefann]

Actually, at least today on Ellen, the kid seemed to be fine with it. He did say that he didn't know his friends had brought a bottle into the car.

 

[jrstephens]

I think she did the right thing too. If more parents would take this approach it would cut a lot of problems off before they get worse and hurt someone. I know from loosing somone I loved very much just how much drunk driving can hurt people!

 

[jrstephens]

I'm sure one day my son will call me the meanest mom on the planet, too. Already gearing myself up for it!

(but we are still at the stage where, this morning, he gave me a big hug around my neck and said "You are my favoritest mommy I've ever had")

Luke who is 3 has already called me mean when I spank him or he gets in trouble! He has not learned that just makes it worse, HA! And that he had no idea thankfully what "mean" really is!

 

[wadesgirl]

Actually, at least today on Ellen, the kid seemed to be fine with it. He did say that he didn't know his friends had brought a bottle into the car.

I had a friend sneak a beer can into my car (I've never allowed alcohol in my car) one night when we went out to the clubs (18 and over clubs since I was only 19). The next Sunday, I went to my grandparents, had lunch, played uno and tri-omenos like always. Was driving home when I got pulled over for speeding. The cop was asking me all these questions like where I was coming from, what I had been doing... Then he asked if I had been drinking and I said no. He asked me what the beer can was doing in my back seat My reply was "What beer can???" since i had no clue. He pulled out the can and dumped out the last few drinks that she never finished. Then he had to put me in his car while he searched mine, gave me a stern lecture about how he could have given me a bunch of tickets (open can, minor in possession, etc) but would let me off with the speeding ticket. I thanked him so much!!! And never let that "friend" in my car again.

 

[stacywhitlow]

Luke who is 3 has already called me mean when I spank him or he gets in trouble! He has not learned that just makes it worse, HA! And that he had no idea thankfully what "mean" really is!

My daughter (3 1/2) does the same thing. However, our boys (12,13,14) know that I can be a whole lot "meaner".

 

[MissChef]

A few years back, I was driving with my sister. Since they had a bunch of lumber in the back of the van, me and her older kids were sitting on the floor because the seats were taken out (yes, not very safe but the only choice at that point). We headed to the next town which is a college town and right in front of us, some kid blew a stop sign from the highway ramp causing my sister to slam on her brakes and all of us flew foward, I hit my head on something. She was so mad, she speed up behind the kid to get his license plate number and a description of the car. As she drove past him, he didn't even acknowledge that he knew he did something wrong. My sister drove straight to the police station and turned him in. Bad part, the car was registered to his parents so the cops told her they would contact his parents about the issue. Oops!

I'd be scared going to the police station with the seats out of the back of the van and my kids and sister not being buckled up! I am soooo not judging your sister so don't get upset! I just couldn't help thinking that when I read that she went to the police station, because she could have been given a citation for that!! As I said, that is just what I thought of and in no way am I judging!! Because I can say right now that if I had witnessed the same thing, and had been forced to slam on my breaks like that, I would have turned him in too, I just don't think I would have drove to the station with the the kids and you!!

 

[Christ Follower]

That is awesome! Love that there are still some good parents out there!

 

[KellyTheChef]

Kuddos to that Mom for FOLLOWING THROUGH with what she told him! There are way too many parents nowadays that threaten but never do what they threaten. Our kids are growing up in a society that makes them feel like they don't have to respect anyone, any rules, or any property. "Do what feels good, when it feels good" is the message that many kids are getting.

Thank God not all of us are morons...and that we care more about RAISING good KIDS than raising good FRIENDS in our children.

 

[friday]

I like the bumper sticker Hows my Driving Call my Mom. I think I will get one done up for when mine is old enough to drive. At 13 he says I am mean AND stupid. I say he can buy his OWN car.

 

[MissChef]

I love that the Mom did this and you know that I'm printing this and sharing with my hubby tonight!!! And I will read it right where the kids can hear it! LOL! My hubby doesn't play games at all! If he says something, he means it and goes through with it. Me too, but my hubby doesn't bend at all, I have a little give!!!

 

[ShanaSmith]

Makes me feel a little better about the 2 small Christmas gifts that got taken away and put into the garage because my DS couldn't follow directions. I was kinda surprised that my DH didn't find them and give them back while I was at leadership. He is the one with the follow through problem.

 

[wadesgirl]

I'd be scared going to the police station with the seats out of the back of the van and my kids and sister not being buckled up! I am soooo not judging your sister so don't get upset! I just couldn't help thinking that when I read that she went to the police station, because she could have been given a citation for that!! As I said, that is just what I thought of and in no way am I judging!! Because I can say right now that if I had witnessed the same thing, and had been forced to slam on my breaks like that, I would have turned him in too, I just don't think I would have drove to the station with the the kids and you!!

I know you aren't judging! She also parked in the "police parking" only area! My BIL and I were sitting there for what seemed like forever waiting for someone to come tell us to move the car. It was a pretty crazy day!

 

[raebates]

Good for that mom! I'm a firm believer that unless your child at some point believes you're mean, unfair, and completely intent on ruining his/her life you are not doing your job as a parent.Like so many others have said, I'm glad she followed through. I really hate standing in a store hearing a parent threaten a child over and over. Growing up, I knew I had until warning #3 to do whatever my mom wanted me to do. Trust me, I used all three of those warnings every single time. My son knew that if I said that doing A would lead to B, then every time he did A, he suffered B. Every time.The problem is that it's harder and more time consuming to be a disciplined parent than it is to be a permissive parent. And, yes, I mean a disciplined parent. It's we parents who need to have the discipline to follow through with our instructions. This young man is very blessed to have a mom who cares enough to do what she says she's going to do.

 

[karaboo2]

This reminds me of the dad at Christmas who bought his son a Wii for Christmas and then sold it on Ebay for about 15 times the purchase price because he caught his son smoking pot ... kudos to the parents who REALLY parent their children, and not just give them a slap on the wrist!!!

From the mom of 4 (soon to be 5) kids who already KNOW she's a big meanie!!!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

I know you aren't judging! She also parked in the "police parking" only area! My BIL and I were sitting there for what seemed like forever waiting for someone to come tell us to move the car. It was a pretty crazy day!

I'm surprised you didn't get ticketed - usually no good deed goes unpunished!

 

[jennjenn71706]

It's great that they followed through, but another option would have been taking his keys away(and keeping them far away from him!!!) and making him work to buy the car from them.

 

[chefann]

He's in college in another town. A little hard for him to work it off with his parents. But otherwise a good idea.

 

[JAE]

Good for that mom! I'm a firm believer that unless your child at some point believes you're mean, unfair, and completely intent on ruining his/her life you are not doing your job as a parent.Like so many others have said, I'm glad she followed through. I really hate standing in a store hearing a parent threaten a child over and over. Growing up, I knew I had until warning #3 to do whatever my mom wanted me to do. Trust me, I used all three of those warnings every single time. My son knew that if I said that doing A would lead to B, then every time he did A, he suffered B. Every time.The problem is that it's harder and more time consuming to be a disciplined parent than it is to be a permissive parent. And, yes, I mean a disciplined parent. It's we parents who need to have the discipline to follow through with our instructions. This young man is very blessed to have a mom who cares enough to do what she says she's going to do.

We didn't get to wait for "3". We did what we were told or in trouble after the warning/instruction. I'm not that strict, but I don't count if I'm actually serious about an instruction. One warning, and at a certain point they don't even get a warning.

 

[RebelChef]

The problem with trying to do what's right and raise your kids right is it's being undermined at every turn. You have teachers and everyone under the sun telling kids that their parents can't do this and can't do that. There's a difference between discipline and abuse but nowdays they call for any little reason.

My son, who's 12 yrs old, 5'5", 145 lbs, told me a while back I was guilty of child abuse. (He got one pop on the behind for mouthing back at me.) I told him there's the phone so call the cops. Tell them to send an ambulance too because by the time they get here, you're going to need one. lol My kids will grow up to be respectful and respectable adults if it's the death of me. If that's child abuse, then yes, I'm guilty.

 

[Stampaholic1961]

We didn't get to wait for "3". We did what we were told or in trouble after the warning/instruction. I'm not that strict, but I don't count if I'm actually serious about an instruction. One warning, and at a certain point they don't even get a warning.

My father in law once told my hubby that he was going to count to 3. He said "one" then gave him a swat on the rear-end. "Two"...another swat. He never had to count again. Just saying I'm going to count was enough to send the kids running to obey!