Is it Wrong to Promote My Business in Church Mailslots?

[DebbieJ]

Last week, I distributed 77 spring mini catalogs to various people at my church via our mailslots. I started calling everyone this week, not asking them to buy or book or anything like that, but rather to refer me to someone who might want to. Most people seemed relieved that I was not asking them to have a show and many told me they would take the catalog to work and ask around. Great!

I stopped in church last night to drop my son off for the youth group's babysitting night and grabbed tomorrow's bulletin. I was reading it over today and there is an announcement in there that COMPLAINTS have been received regarding business solicitations in church mailslots so please don't do it, blah blah blah.

Now, I have not received any other business solicitations in my mailslot, so this announcement is clearly directed at me. What could have been taken care of with a single phone call has now caused me great humiliation as I have been chastized in front of the whole church for using the mailslots to promote my business.

If someone from the church council had bothered to call me, they would know that I distributed the catalogs to ask for referrals because I need to ramp up my business to make more money because my DH is currently unemployed. Do they care?

UGH!!! I am so upset and I needed to vent somewhere, so thanks for listening.

Oh, and our church does not have any published policy regarding what can and cannot go into the mailslots, so I didn't know I was violating any rules. I thought my church members would be happy to support me in my business, but I guess not. I am literally in tears over this and now I'm not sure I even want to attend this church any longer.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

No good deed goes unpunished.The sad part of all of this, IMHO, is that they have burned a bridge that someone, with more vision, might have seen as an opportunity. In my own church, I particiapte in an annual fund-raiser at church. I have received many orders from members for the fundraiser and everyone knows that I am a Pampered Chef without me having to sell people. They have eliminated any chance of having you help raise funds for them through TPC.For me, it would be time to find a church with a more nurturing and less arrogant atmosphere.Edited to add: You probably should have gotten permission from someone first, but since that ship has sailed, you are in a pretty awkward spot. I'm still always amazed at the "Christian" attitude shown by the group I call the Perpetually Offended.

 

[BethCooks4U]

When I started my business I worked at a church and they were very supportive. I did not solicit business or "advertize" through the church (except that we did do a fundraiser one time) but friends helped spread the word.

I no longer work there but after over a year away from that type of work I took a position at another church. They made it very clear that I was not to do any type of PC business at/in the church. I even got a nasty email one time because someone got my newsletter and they thought I used the church's list. I corrected them immediately. I would never send such an email to anyone who had not given me permission to do it. This person must have given me their email at a show or fair. They "apologized" - well sort of.

Churches can be very funny places. It's like everyone who is at all involved is the CEO.

Sorry you had that trouble but know you are not alone.

 

[KellyTheChef]

That really stinks. I would certainly speak to the pastor and/or whatever type of governing "board" they have there. I agree with you- a simple phone call was in order here. Even if they chose to print that in the bulletin, (so everyone is on the same page in the future) they should have spoken to you FIRST. Remember too, there may have been one person who could have made this decision without thinking it through. I wouldn't allow this to interfere with you enjoying yourself and worshipping at that church. Get it out in the open so you can get past this situation that was not handled very nicely.

 

[koeverson]

I think the whole situation is terrible. Whoever went to the church to complain should have been able to approach you and tell you they were offended. What you did was not a bad thing that you should have been reprimaded for. What you did was offer a service and or an opportuntity. I am sorry you feel bad. But don't you didn't do anything to feel bad about. You offered the members of your congregation a service and an opportunity. It's not your fault if they can't see the benefits.

 

[cat]

I have never tried anything like this at my church, but one of my recruits goes to a Christian church as well and she is even afraid to mention PC on church property because of the negative remarks other DS consultants have gotten for "selling" in God's house. It IS a very sensitive issue for a lot of people and well, I guess you can take it as a learning experience. I'm sorry you have to go through this....

 

[Cindycooks]

I can't believe they would print something like that in a bulletin of all places! That DOES NOT belong in a bulletin! Im so sorry

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

I have never tried anything like this at my church, but one of my recruits goes to a Christian church as well and she is even afraid to mention PC on church property because of the negative remarks other DS consultants have gotten for "selling" in God's house. It IS a very sensitive issue for a lot of people and well, I guess you can take it as a learning experience. I'm sorry you have to go through this....

When I take orders for the fund raiser, we all have a riot making jokes about money changers in the temple.

Life is far too important to take seriously, and someone in that church just has their priorities all out of whack.

 

[PampMomof3]

Deb, I'm so sorry! That really stinks. I agree with you that it did not need to be advertised in the bulletin but a simple phone call would have done fine. What does youd dh say about it??
You know what, hold your head up high because you didn't do anything wrong.

 

[MicheleC]

Deb,

I'm sorry to hear about your experience. It definately could have been handled in a better way. Don't let one experience overshadow your reasons for being in this church in the first place. Take some time to let things settle before making any decisions. It hurts most when those we feel closest too don't support us. It sounds like it was taken positively by some and I'm sure those people will support you.

 

[GeorgiaPeach]

Debbie, I'm sorry that this has happened. I agree that it could have been handled with more sensitivity. My husband is a pastor and we have been at 3 churches since I've become a PC consultant. I am always VERY cautious when it comes to talking about PC at church because I don't want people to feel like I'm always looking for a show or an order.

While a phone call to you would have been the most direct thing for them to do, many people don't like confrontation so take what they believe is the path of least resistance (posting it in the bulletin). They could have also thought that others would get the idea from what you did and start an avalanche of other DS putting stuff in mailslots.

It's easy to say this (and not as easy to do) but I would encourage you to just smile and hold your head up. We are all human and I doubt that whoever put it in the bulletin did it with malice.

You said when you started calling people they were glad that you weren't calling for a show. Did you put a note in with the catalogs? If you do something like this in the future (not at this church though ), I would suggest a note explaining what your goal is (need bookings, looking for referrals, etc). Maybe if they had contained a note asking for referrals because your husband was currently out of work and you were wanting to increase your show schedule, etc, people might have taken it better.

While it would be great if everyone that attended church would show a Christ-like attitude, I've yet to see a church that doesn't have a few "busybodies" that are always looking for a way to make everyone else as miserable as they are.

I wouldn't be surprised if you go to church tomorrow and find that alot of people don't have a clue as to why that's in the bulletin and those that do will support you.

Like you said, there was no written policy, so you have done nothing wrong!

 

[Shawnna]

Debbie, I am sorry to hear about this mess. When I started my business it was by attending a show held in the church fellowship hall by one of the church members. She invited people from church. I had been asked to many PC shows before but wouldn't go because I thought PC was too expensive. Many people attended including the pastor's wife. Everyone in the church was invited because she didn't want to offend anyone by leaving them out, however, she did not expect everyone to show up. This is not everyone's cup of tea...so to speak. Anyway, after seeing the products I signed up...only to get the kit and quit after my six shows. I have now done about 115 shows. I am very part time. My church family knows that I am a pc consultant. But, I let some of them know when we have a great special or if I am trying to build more business this month. I do not talk to everyone...only those I feel close to. I do not take orders in the church or deliver product in the church...I am with the "money changers" people on this issue. If somone orders I let them know after church that I have their product in my car. This being said, I do not let my children sell anything in the church...fundraisers are great, but it can wait until after church and outside the building. Some people are offended by that. Many of the kids do ask for donations and they do pass around catalogs in church...I do not agree with that. I always say "see me after church". But, I do not see how your situation merits being put in the church bulliten. A simple "I'm not interested" would have been enough. Just hold your head up and forget about it. Some people are always offended. Hopefully they will get "prayed through". Don't let it cause you to lose your christianity.

 

[DebbieJ]

I wouldn't allow this to interfere with you enjoying yourself and worshipping at that church. Get it out in the open so you can get past this situation that was not handled very nicely.

This is what feels like the 1 millionth episode in a line of situations that have left me feeling ignored, marginalized, and hurt by my church family. There are a handful of people there that keep us coming back and for now they are carrying us through spiritually and emotionally. Even when I ask questions, point out glaring problems, and try to remain positive, nothing changes. Don't even get my started on the church nursery.....

 

[DebbieJ]

I think the whole situation is terrible. Whoever went to the church to complain should have been able to approach you and tell you they were offended. What you did was not a bad thing that you should have been reprimaded for. What you did was offer a service and or an opportuntity. I am sorry you feel bad. But don't you didn't do anything to feel bad about. You offered the members of your congregation a service and an opportunity. It's not your fault if they can't see the benefits.

Exactly! They could have just thrown away the mini catalog and gone on their merry way. But NO. They have to be babies and complain! Ugh!

 

[DebbieJ]

I can't believe they would print something like that in a bulletin of all places! That DOES NOT belong in a bulletin! Im so sorry

That's what I'm thinking too. If I were a first time attender, I'd run FAR FAR away from a church that actually printed that kind of stuff!

 

[DebbieJ]

Deb, I'm so sorry! That really stinks. I agree with you that it did not need to be advertised in the bulletin but a simple phone call would have done fine. What does youd dh say about it??
You know what, hold your head up high because you didn't do anything wrong.

My DH is totally on my side. He said that if I don't talk to the church council about this humiliation, that he will. That is saying a lot for him because he avoids confrontation like the plague.

 

[DebbieJ]

You said when you started calling people they were glad that you weren't calling for a show. Did you put a note in with the catalogs? If you do something like this in the future (not at this church though ), I would suggest a note explaining what your goal is (need bookings, looking for referrals, etc). Maybe if they had contained a note asking for referrals because your husband was currently out of work and you were wanting to increase your show schedule, etc, people might have taken it better.

Thought about that...didn't want to actually put it in print that we were hard up b/c my DH is out of a job right now. Thought phone conversations would be the best way to handle that. Guess I learned my lesson.

 

[pamperedalf]

Deb, I am so sorry to hear this! IMO this was not handled well at all. I am a christian and I love going to church, but it is stuff like this that drives me away. Remember that you weren't doing anything wrong, and God will take care of you!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

It's easy to say this (and not as easy to do) but I would encourage you to just smile and hold your head up. We are all human and I doubt that whoever put it in the bulletin did it with malice.

You're far less skeptical than I am. I automatically assume that one of the Perpetually Offended used this as a way to smugly exercise his/her "I'll show HER!" attitude that I see all too often. If I'm wrong, I'll say so but I bet I'm not. (The Kat Lady is a church secreta...er...administrative assistant, and sees this type of behavior far more than any of the membership gets to see.)

While it would be great if everyone that attended church would show a Christ-like attitude, I've yet to see a church that doesn't have a few "busybodies" that are always looking for a way to make everyone else as miserable as they are.

This is exactly who I describe as The Perpetually Offended. These people wake up every morning, looking for a way to be offended so they can maintain their little one-person crusade to reform the world in their image. The love to impose their own pathetic reality into everyone else's. It's sad, really.

This is what feels like the 1 millionth episode in a line of situations that have left me feeling ignored, marginalized, and hurt by my church family.

Doesn't that one line pretty well answer your question about whether or not to stay? A "handful of people" is not the reason to stay in a church that otherwise fails to acknowledge your membership.

I also know what kind of church I wouldn't be shopping for, were I you, but I'm keeping that to myself.

Sidebar, FWIW: In my church, it's the other way around, a handful of people that drive me nuts. Fortunately, that same handful of people drives everyone else nuts, so we all just roll our eyes and let their rants go in one ear and out the other. (It pays to listen, because sometimes, they do have a gem of an idea, but is difficult to find buried in all their horsehockey.)

 

[crystalscookingnow]

Deb - I'm sorry that you've had a hard time with the church. I'm not sure what to tell you.

My church has been very supportive of my PC business & people come to me for booking parties. We actually have a newsletter that goes out each month & they encourage us to put our own businesses (DS or otherwise) so that we can all know the individual talents available to us in our church family.

I agree that talking to the church council/board to let them know how this has made you to feel is in order. They should at least be understanding of you & your feelings.

God's blessings.

Crystal

 

[Chef Kearns]

Last Sunday I felt weird about being at church with my PC stuff on. I had a party that afternoon and wouldn't have time to change after church. I had on my pink PC shirt and HOT pink PC jacket...not to mention my van has 2 HUGE PC stickers on the windows. I felt like a walking advertisement...and I was! I told my husband I felt awkward. I did have 3 people stop me and ask me for my info. Weird weird!

If you already know that this church doesn't feel much like a family then move on. It is really sad, but the church is full of sinners! HELLO! The only perfect man died on the cross. I know I wake up in the morning and have to die daily to my self! It is funny though how some people become Christians and they think that it makes them God's right hand...doling out laws and opinions as if they came straight from the Big Man!

 

[BethCooks4U]

It is funny though how some people become Christians and they think that it makes them God's right hand...doling out laws and opinions as if they came straight from the Big Man!

Exactly my thoughts on the subject!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Last Sunday I felt weird about being at church with my PC stuff on. I had a party that afternoon and wouldn't have time to change after church. I had on my pink PC shirt and HOT pink PC jacket...not to mention my van has 2 HUGE PC stickers on the windows. I felt like a walking advertisement...and I was! I told my husband I felt awkward. I did have 3 people stop me and ask me for my info. Weird weird!

If you already know that this church doesn't feel much like a family then move on. It is really sad, but the church is full of sinners! HELLO! The only perfect man died on the cross. I know I wake up in the morning and have to die daily to my self! It is funny though how some people become Christians and they think that it makes them God's right hand...doling out laws and opinions as if they came straight from the Big Man!

I proudly wear TPC clothing in church. Why not? I have shirts with my church's logo that I wear in places other than church. Marketing is marketing and wearing logo merchandise is both marketing and subtle advertising.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

I was going to put this in the joke thread......but I think Deb needs to see this here. I bet you recognize the lady in this story!
--------------------------
"Ice Cream Is Sometimes Good For The Soul"

Last week I took my children to a restaurant. My six-year-old son asked if he could say grace. As we bowed our heads he said, "God is good, God is great. Thank you for the food, and I would thank you even more if Mom gets us Ice Cream for dessert. And liberty and justice for all! Amen!"

Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby, I heard a woman remark, "That's what's wrong with this country. Kids today don't even know how to pray. Asking God for Ice Cream! Why, I never!"

Hearing this, my son burst into tears and asked me, "Did I do it wrong? Is God mad at me?"

As I held him and assured him that he had done a terrific job and God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table. He winked at my son and said, "I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer."

"Really?" my son asked.

"Cross my heart." Then in theatrical whisper he added (indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing), "too bad she never asks God for Ice Cream. A little Ice Cream is good for the soul sometimes."

Naturally, I bought my kid Ice Cream at the end of the meal. My son stared at his for a moment and then did something I will remember the rest of my life. He picked up his Sundae and without a word walked over and placed it in front of the woman. With a big smile he told her, "Here, this is for you. Ice Cream is good for the soul sometimes and my soul is good already!"

 

[DebbieJ]

thank you, KG.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Anything interesting happen this morning?

 

[pamperedalf]

That is a great story KG!!

 

[KellyTheChef]

Thanks KG!

 

[raebates]

Deb, I'm so sorry that your church family has hurt you in this way. You did nothing wrong. Forgive and move on. As for your situation with a handful of people keeping you there, you will be in my prayers. I know that whether to stay or go from a church is a really big decision. My DH and I had to make that decision a few years ago. Ours had a happy ending. We are now in a church that is loving, supportive, and Christ-centered. We feel blessed to be there.KG- I've always loved that story! I was a church secretary for 7 years. It's a wonderful ministry, but you do get a look at the ugly side of some church people. I had to laugh at your "perpetually offended" label. Several names leapt immediately to mind.

 

[DebbieJ]

Anything interesting happen this morning?

Nope. I had to hightail it out of there because I was alone with DS and I had a show this afternoon and I had to go home and get my stuff together.

I WILL be writing a letter to the church council so I'll let you know what happens.