Is It Worth Dealing With a Selfish Co-worker for a Successful Meeting?

[pamela]

UGH!:devil:
I hold meetings with my Director, another Director and our AD. Our AD is one of THE most selfish people on this planet and I have accepted this over the years~she's just made that way and nothing anyone has ever said has or will change it.

That being said, my Director-P and the other Director-C and I always plan the meeting because if we let AD do it, it SUCKS! She will do nothing but pass out flyers and talk about quick tips until the cows come home. I really enjoy planning the meetings with P & C.

This month, P won't be there, so our AD emailed ME and asked what the plans for the meeting are. I emailed her back an idea that I had gotten from Emily and Colleen combined~take a field trip to a local drug store, give our consultants $2 each to go in and but the one thing that they could find to represent their "why". Then, when we get back to AD's house, we share for one minute why we picked what we picked. Then, we do the "Go for No" in 30 days challenge.......

She emails me today and doesn't like the idea~she wants to hand out flyers, do quick tips and talk about Fundraisers~! I am sticking to my guns on this one as I feel very strongly that everyone needs to learn how to hear "no" as well as that everyone needs to understand their own "why"!

What bothers me the most is that she really has hurt my feelings~I put alot of time and thought into planning these meetings (with ALOT of help from you all) and she just seems to have brushed this off as if to say "not gonna happen". Why the hell not???? I have come up with an email response that I think addresses her concerns, but I am not backing down. I don't think she even realized that if I chose to do my own meeting, she would have about 5 people show up to hers based on the location. I don't want to do that, but am sorely tempted to step away from her and her selfishness.

Ok-vent over! I am moving onto bigger and better things, like growing my team and booking more shows as well as getting the kids home safely from school...that is my WHY!

 

[chefkathy]

I heard recently at a PC training that the most important thing we can teach our consultants is how to handle the No.I really like your idea Meg! Stick to your guns and let us know how it all turns out!

 

[Koolotus]

Stick to your guns & if you have to use them then it's time to head for the hills!
It may be time to branch out and grow-

 

[finley1991]

Stay strong Meg!!!!

 

[pamela]

I thought about this more on the way to the bus stop to pick up the 8 yo drama queen....my Mom always told me if I didn't like how something was done, I should do it myself. I guess I feel like my AD just doesn't have any room to complain since she never has to plan a doggone thing!
Than again, if I don't like her input, it is time to change where my meeting is....problem is, my D won't change, so my personal meeting would still be at my AD's house and it would be one more time to commit to PC....KWIM?

 

[Chef Kearns]

Yeah...just let her know. You can tell her, "I appreciate your suggestions, but for this month we will be doing XYZ. And please have the $2 per person for your team"

Stick to your guns!! Can you do the meting yourself this month?

 

[Chef Kearns]

Sorry, I didn't finsh reading your post. Oops!

 

[pamperedbecky]

You can do it, Meg!! It's weird to me why she's feel so strongly about saying "no" to your idea when she doesn't seem to have any good ones of her own!

 

[dannyzmom]

Sounds familiar. Remember I went thru similar stuff with my former AD earlier this year. I say it's time to start holding meetings w/o her...

 

[pamela]

I would, really, but my Director can't cut the cord and I LOVE my Director! I love planning the meetings with her, and I can tell yo that if she were going to be there this month, this would not be happening!
Each time I suggest to my Director that I would like to hold my own meeting, she flips out! That would mean, to her, that I was leaving her and we get alot of support from each other...because obviously our AD can't support us!

 

[baychef]

Meg, I admire the time you put into your meeting and how you think about what the team needs.

Would she perhaps compromise and at least encourage team members to bring at least one item that represents "why"?

Or, I KNOW this is a lot of work...have a mini meeting or training away from her?

Good luck and hang in there. You have a great idea so stick with it if you can!

 

[pamela]

well, my thought for not having them bring their "why" with them is so that they don't overthink it. I made a why bag once and felt like I was really trying to put something into it that represented everyone else's potential why rather than what mine really is.
If she throws a fit on this and doesn't wan tot do the field trip, I suggested she could stay at her house for anyone that may show up late!

 

[imported_iteachurkid]

Ok, being as that I know who your AD is and get asked constantly if I know her (no I don't, and from the stories I've heard from LOTS of people, I'm glad of that), STICK TO YOUR GUNS!! Have you talked to P? Come over here Thursday night and we can do our meeting together You know what's best for you and your team. I love the idea and am seriously thinking about stealing/borrowing it. You are awesome, don't forget that, and definitely don't let anyone (especially her) make you feel any different. I can't wait to hear how your field trip goes!!!

 

[BethCooks4U]

Hijack: Jennifer, has Hilda come to your meeting yet?

We now return you to your normal programming.

 

[imported_iteachurkid]

Hijack: Jennifer, has Hilda come to your meeting yet?

We now return you to your normal programming.

Yep, she sure did...I love her! She added so much info to the meeting She's coming to my meeting this week as well!

 

[pamela]

Ok, being as that I know who your AD is and get asked constantly if I know her (no I don't, and from the stories I've heard from LOTS of people, I'm glad of that), STICK TO YOUR GUNS!! Have you talked to P? Come over here Thursday night and we can do our meeting together You know what's best for you and your team. I love the idea and am seriously thinking about stealing/borrowing it. You are awesome, don't forget that, and definitely don't let anyone (especially her) make you feel any different. I can't wait to hear how your field trip goes!!!

I just had to laugh at this Jennifer~I knew when I started this thread that there was a chance a few on here knew my my AD, but it was a chance I was willing to take!
I am past the upset part and have now put the ball in her court~we shall see what her response is. I did talk to P and she is totally behind my idea, BUT she has a major fear that I will pick up & start doing my own meetings~she is more tied to the AD than I am, and she doesn't like her ways any more than I do, but that is her Director, like it or not!
I can't wait to see what kind of response I get from the AD!

 

[BethCooks4U]

Yep, she sure did...I love her! She added so much info to the meeting She's coming to my meeting this week as well!

I knew you'd love her! Thanks for taking her in.

.end hijack.

 

[pamela]

God love my sister Director C!!!!

She has come up with a great solution that gives an even better twist for training!!! Here is her suggestion:

everyone comes to the meeting as usual...we tell them they have a choice to go on a field trip or to stay behind....this gives them an oppotunity to say "no" or "yes". Those that say yes, get in my van and go on the trip. Those that say no, stay behind. If they choose to stay behind, they will have to share "why"...for instance, maybe my consultant that has twin babies didn't want to get loaded back up in the car. We would write down on a flipchart "childcare issues". Then someone else says "I drove all the way here and just didn't want to go anywhere else"...write down driving distance.....and so on. Before long, you have on the flipchart reasons people don't book or join PC and these can be discussed in the Go For No 30 style~no doesn't always mean no forever....C has offered to stay behind and do this part so that we can assure that those who stay don't talk about those who go!

C is calling our AD now to see if this part flies with her! Now I am more excited than ever because I think this solution will appeal to everyone as they will all have no choice but to get something out of this!

 

[pamperedbecky]

GREAT solution!! Then you don't have to have your AD being a "Debbie Downer" if she had to come with on the field trip. ONly the ones who really want to go on the field trip will be the ones going. It sounds fun to ME!! Can't wait to hear how it goes over.

 

[Chef Kearns]

Yes, please share how it goes. It sounds like something I would hate to choose between. I'd love to do both parts!

 

[chefkathy]

Love it! That is a great compromise and will give you another topic to discuss!