Is it Possible to Find Closure with a Difficult Parent?

[dannyzmom]

Anyone know anything about it?

 

[raebates]

According to my Medical Encyclopedia, it's a cancer of the plasma cells. It's usually treated with chemotherapy, which can control the disease for many years but not cure it.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Hey, Carolyn... are you still there? Is anything wrong?

 

[stefani2]

Carolyn - is there a reason why you are asking? I would assume so.

 

[dannyzmom]

Nah...just heard word thru the family grapevine that my biological father has "stage 7" myeloma. From everything I have read, there is no stage 7.
This man is a real piece of work...manipulative and deceitful. I am curious to see what the prognosis is, what the treatment is, whether or not there really is a stage 7, etc. Rumor has it, he has had this for a year now.

 

[raebates]

I was hoping it was mere curiosity. Sorry you're dealing with someone who's trying to play on your sympathies.

 

[dannyzmom]

I was hoping it was mere curiosity. Sorry you're dealing with someone who's trying to play on your sympathies.

Thanks, I truly don't expect much different from him.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Thanks, I truly don't expect much different from him.

I think that just makes it all that more sad! I'm glad it isn't bad news- my stomach sunk a bit when you started this thread and then didn't answer Rae's post. I was praying- please don't let anything be wrong with Carolyn!

 

[dannyzmom]

I think that just makes it all that more sad! I'm glad it isn't bad news- my stomach sunk a bit when you started this thread and then didn't answer Rae's post. I was praying- please don't let anything be wrong with Carolyn!

Aw thanks Kacey!
While it is, of course, sad news...for him. The only thing "wrong" with me is that I let this man jerk me around for the first 36.5 years of my life. Thankfully in the past year or two, I have come to terms with who he is...and learned to realize that his being a lousy father does not mean that I am not worthy of a father's love...it just means that he is a lousy father...and that's it. So, the blessing in all of this is that I was, thankfully, able to come to terms with this and with my relationship (or lack thereof) with him before he was given this diagnosis. I can't imagine the emotional turmoil I'd be suffering if he'd gotten this diagnosis while I was still all emotionally entangled with him.

 

[pamperedlinda]

Sorry to hear about this Carolyn.

On a lighter note, I now have the song "M M M My Chirona" stuck in my head.....(or however you spell it)

 

[janetupnorth]

Without looking anything up, I only know of stage 1-4.I know quite a few who have had it. My dad was checked for it when he was diagnosed with amyloidosis.

 

[dannyzmom]

Sorry to hear about this Carolyn.

On a lighter note, I now have the song "M M M My Chirona" stuck in my head.....(or however you spell it)

Muh Muh Muh Muh Muh Muh Muh Myyyy-E-Loma!!!!

 

[pamperedlinda]

So glad I'm not the only one suffering with that song now too.....

 

[dannyzmom]

Without looking anything up, I only know of stage 1-4.

I know quite a few who have had it. My dad was checked for it when he was diagnosed with amyloidosis.

What else do you know? Of the people who had it that you know, how are they now?
What's the treatment? Long term prognosis?

 

[Intrepid_Chef]

Carolyn, so sorry for the person's diagnosis and all the drama that goes with it!

I will pray that there is healing in this situation in more ways than one!

 

[kathijenkins]

What else do you know? Of the people who had it that you know, how are they now?
What's the treatment? Long term prognosis?

Here's some info about staging of myeloma....
Cancer Research UK | CancerHelp UK | The stages of myeloma

And this one has more info on that & prognosis....
Diagnosis and Prognosis of Multiple Myeloma ; Seattle Washington WA

HTH

 

[dannyzmom]

Thanks for the info Kathi...

 

[kathijenkins]

Thanks for the info Kathi...

Glad I could help! I'll keep him in my prayers.

 

[chefmeg]

Sorry to hear about this Carolyn.

On a lighter note, I now have the song "M M M My Chirona" stuck in my head.....(or however you spell it)

oooo ooooo ooooo I just bought an 80's CD Monday because it had "MY Sharona" on it!!!! Also, "walking on sunshine" "whip it" and "867-5309"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My Dh wants to know if I will ever get into this century with my music....NOPE!

 

[chefmeg]

sorry to hijack Carolyn

as a lab tech, I know that myeloma can be very treatable....not the easiest of treatments, but treatable nonetheless

 

[finley1991]

I volunteer at a foundation that raises money for multiple myeloma. McCarty Cancer Foundation -I'm being naive here, but is there such as thing as just myeloma... doesn't it usually have a more specific name? And if your father does have it, wouldn't he know exactly what he has?And from what I know about multiple myeloma, there is no stage 7 but people that have it can live for YEARS!!! Geraldine Ferraro has it.

 

[janetupnorth]

Here are the stages too Carolyn...http://www.umgcc.org/hem_malig_program/mult-stages.htmActually I was incorrect, there are only 3 not 4. I thought 4 because usually when it progresses into the worst stage and throughout the body, I've heard that as stage 4.I'd say Colleen is right, I've never heard it not called "Multiple Myeloma".Good luck figuring out what TRULY is going on...

 

[finley1991]

To add on to what Janet says, one thing I do know about MM is that it is VERY COMMONLY misdiagnosed. That can be good and that can be bad. It can be good in that lots of people get false positives with it. And bad, because of the numerous false positives, it can be hard to diagnose. More and more people are being diagnosed with it though, now that they are able to really zero in and know what it is. If properly medicated, most people respond VERY well to treatment.

 

[dannyzmom]

From what I am getting thru the family grapevine (as my father has not yet told me himself...probably due to the fact that I have not been taking his calls the last few weeks...but that's another story-altogether), it is Multiple Myeloma and he has had it for a year? What this "stage 7" claim is, I don't know. My guess is that it is not NEARLY as "bad" as he is presenting it to be. He tends to be very dramatic and manipulative I would not put it past him to pull this drama just because I'm not taking his calls...time will tell, I guess.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

oooo ooooo ooooo I just bought an 80's CD Monday because it had "MY Sharona" on it!!!! Also, "walking on sunshine" "whip it" and "867-5309"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My Dh wants to know if I will ever get into this century with my music....NOPE!

Um- Oh my gosh!!! 80's Music is the only real music out there... Tell DH that you'll never get in this century of music! 80's will NEVER die! I just told DH that big hair was coming back so he could quit teasing me about my fluffy hair!

I do love classical music, too...however I LOVE 80's music! "I wear my sunglasses at night" ♪♫

 

[Kitchen Diva]

From what I am getting thru the family grapevine (as my father has not yet told me himself...probably due to the fact that I have not been taking his calls the last few weeks...but that's another story-altogether), it is Multiple Myeloma and he has had it for a year? What this "stage 7" claim is, I don't know. My guess is that it is not NEARLY as "bad" as he is presenting it to be. He tends to be very dramatic and manipulative I would not put it past him to pull this drama just because I'm not taking his calls...time will tell, I guess.

Well, keep us informed of the little soap opera, and I understand how you feel about your biological father, I have some similarily hurtful issues like that with my mother.

I will be praying for the situation, and I'm happy for you that you came to the realization that you came to! I have 2 people on this board that I consider my surogate Mother's...because I get more from them in a week than I get from my Mother in 5 years... My sister gets it all...

 

[kathijenkins]

From what I am getting thru the family grapevine (as my father has not yet told me himself...probably due to the fact that I have not been taking his calls the last few weeks...but that's another story-altogether), it is Multiple Myeloma and he has had it for a year? What this "stage 7" claim is, I don't know. My guess is that it is not NEARLY as "bad" as he is presenting it to be. He tends to be very dramatic and manipulative I would not put it past him to pull this drama just because I'm not taking his calls...time will tell, I guess.

Sounds like my biological mother. I have a better relationship with my step-mom. I call her Mom & the other the egg donor. Our relationship (or lack there of) is so caustic that I moved to Germany in Oct. '06 & she doesn't even know! (And I hope to keep it that way until we leave in 2010.)

 

[chefmeg]

sounds like a dysfunctional little group we have going here! I had serious issues with my bio dad.....never really resolved them totally and then he passed away in Nov of 2007

 

[dannyzmom]

sounds like a dysfunctional little group we have going here! I had serious issues with my bio dad.....never really resolved them totally and then he passed away in Nov of 2007

How was/is that for you? I am concerned how I am going to cope with him dying and me not ever having fully resolved the cr*p with him. I was thinking about how if I went to see him before he passes, he'd have the chance to say he was sorry. The it occured to me...I would go to see him...and he would not say he was sorry. He'd criticize and belittle me. The thought actually had me laughing...laughing that I had actually, for even a moment, thought he would do the right thing - LOL