Help Me Let Go of My Analness: Teaching My Partner to Fold Clothes

[pamperedlinda]

....of my analness!

DS wants to help me around the house. I usually give him easy tasks and he does them sufficiently (at least in ways that don't horribly annoy me :blushing: ). Well, now he wants to help me fold clothes. I'm a little anal here and have a certain way that I fold stuff and he just sorta 'folds' them. It's cute, but it's not the right way (i.e. my way....LOL). So, I'm trying to just praise and thank him....then fold them my way before I put them away. So, this is really sorta counter-productive and takes me so much longer to get things done. I'm thinking that I should just let it go and let him do it his way (for now) and work on teaching him my way when he's practiced 'his way' for a while (which I guess is also a whole new set of motor skills that he's working on). Did I lose you here?

Can any of you relate? I know it's minor in the great grand scheme of life....but the clothes and towels are folded all wrinkly and weird-like. I know, I know.....so what....who cares, right? I mean he needs to learn sometime - right?.....So, is there a 12-step program for my situation? LOL

 

[ljeffries]

It's not a 12 step program, but a 12 sip program - have a pitcher of martinis and just let the kid do all the work!!

 

[pamperedlinda]

Oh Lamar, I like you!

 

[chefann]

You could let him fold his own clothes. That's still something off your plate, but it doesn't directly affect you.But I like Lamar's idea the best!

 

[cwinter474]

clothing... be picky, to the point of him doing it at his level. This is a skill they really need in life. My daughter-n-law always looks like she crawled out of a drawer... bugs me.

towels..... try and ignore it

 

[Sheila]

DH & I don't do the other one's laundry for that exact reason. He's military and has to have his t-shirts folded a particular way. I hang mine. He's not allowed to do my laundry because he kept using the regular Tide vs. the Tide Free and setting off my allergies. Either that or he would forget to put in fabric softener. Let's not talk about how itchy a lace bra is that's not been washed with fabric softener.

But I do re-fold the towels that DH folds! So I hear you. And I can't even complain about them being wrinkled ... I just don't like the way they hang off the shelf when he's done. LOL

Big HUGS! I know it's hard, but he's trying to help Mommy and be a big boy.

 

[pamperedlinda]

DH & I don't do the other one's laundry for that exact reason. He's military and has to have his t-shirts folded a particular way. I hang mine. He's not allowed to do my laundry because he kept using the regular Tide vs. the Tide Free and setting off my allergies. Either that or he would forget to put in fabric softener. Let's not talk about how itchy a lace bra is that's not been washed with fabric softener.

But I do re-fold the towels that DH folds! So I hear you. And I can't even complain about them being wrinkled ... I just don't like the way they hang off the shelf when he's done. LOL

Big HUGS! I know it's hard, but he's trying to help Mommy and be a big boy.

Oh, DH is not allowed to touch the laundry! I hang most of my stuff too.

I agree with you on the towels....DH folds ours inside out - huh? I even correct him and he still folds them however he picks them up.

 

[rennea]

HA HA!! Love this, my DH does the laundry because he doesn't like the way I do it!! He also does all the ironing because "I don't do it right".

Linda I would have him fold towels, show him how to do it and when he has mastered that have him move on to something else like socks and undies

 

[Chef Michelle D]

I think letting him fold his clothes is a great idea. You could still have the pitcher of martinis while watching him. My dh doesn't fold my clothes either. I also hate it when he empties the dishwasher. We have lived in our house for 12 years now and he still doesn't put things away in the right spot. But I don't say anything because at least he is trying.

 

[Koolotus]

Just my opinion and experience.
I have a 12 year old at 8 started folding all the laundry. Wrinkled at first but patience and a couple of toss them all back in the dryer for 10 minutes and do it again got her where she is just as good as me I started by putting her in charge of all the socks, all the washcloths and all the dishtowels. then I moved on from there. We started when she was just about 4.
Now she does all the dishes, even my show dishes. Again, frustrating at first, but way better now!
Of course, I also have an 8 year old who is now in charge of laundry, wrinkled again! and a 3 year old who is ready to be put in charge of some things.
It's a process, but they will thank you for it!
Ask Rae what she does.


Oh and drink....................................lots

 

[Gina M]

Here's what I do Linda - my kids help with the laundry - my almost 11 year old loves to fold towels - I don't care what they look like as long as they get put away. He finds great joy in helping me and I don't want to rain on his parade. All 3 of the kids (13 1/2, 11 and 7) help me fold their own pj's, underwear and socks - once again I don't care if they are wrinkled as they are underwear and no one is going to see them.

When I was a kid, I took over all the family's laundry when I was 10 years old. I made a nice amount of money each week doing it and did a good job. I don't mind doing laundry myself but feel that kids definitely need to help or the first time they will do it will be when they go off to college. My kids are great at sorting and helping me fill the washing machine and are going to take over more this summer. Just my thoughts!

 

[wadesgirl]

I agree with letting him fold his own clothes. That way he can still help and feels like he's doing something good.

 

[jesusluvsu2005]

Unfortunately, I am in the same boat. LOL Even towels for me have to be folded a certain way. I want to let the kids start helping but it's very hard for me. I feel it needs to be done right and I'm the only one who can do it "my way". LOL
God Bless,
Amanda

 

[chefmeg]

It's not a 12 step program, but a 12 sip program - have a pitcher of martinis and just let the kid do all the work!!

this is THE rule when raising kids! It applies to all aspects when you are trying to "let go"!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[kathijenkins]

I can't help with the analness...I suffer from the same affliction. I'm so bad that I labeled my TTA because DH wasn't putting stuff where it goes (the way I had it set up) & he STILL couldn't get it right , so I fired him. LOL Laundry is another issue...I sort, wash & fold one way, he does it another way & don't even start me on the dishes!!:blushing:

But I agree with the 12 sip program & letting DS fold his clothes. He'll pick up on your way eventually. I've even managed to start letting my 2 DS help sort their own laundry & help get it in the washer without cringing.

 

[pamperedlinda]

Thanks ya'll....I'm trying not to cringe. He's so proud of himself for 'folding' the clothes.

 

[MissChef]

Linda ~ I can so relate! My big problem is not laundry, because I agree with the poster that said to let them fold and then if you need to throw it in the dryer again and fluff the wrinkles out of it!
My big thing is getting help when I'm cooking!!! I know, this sounds very bad of me, and my daughter wants to learn, but her stubborn, "let me do it" attitude drives me crazy! I can't stand messy looking food and I can't stand messy food areas! I also can't stand waste, and I waste so much food when she helps (it ends up on the floor or all over the counter or on her!) I know that I probably just a pain in the a** about it, but this is where I'm anal! I so long to be easy going about it but I get uptight when she's "helping" because to me it's not helping! Okay, so now that everyone sees me as this mean, ridiculous Mom, I'm not! In fact what others may see as wrong, it doesn't really bother me! The laundry thing doesn't bug me much, because I have a dryer that I fluff the wrinkles out of! But I do understand being anal about certain things, and the kitchen is just my area to be anal about!

 

[Teresa Lynn]

just remember every time you correct it or re do it he/she will remember I never did it well enough for my mom. I never remade my kids beds so what if they were lumpy (& trust me I am the reigning queen of being fussy and particular about my home) let him match the socks, do the towels whatever he is willing to help with. Same with cooking they will remember the moments you spent side by side making a salad that half went on the floor Your days of having them home with you are fleeing and some day you'd give anything for a wrinkled pair of shorts that 4 or 5 year old folded.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

just remember every time you correct it or re do it he/she will remember I never did it well enough for my mom.

I never remade my kids beds so what if they were lumpy (& trust me I am the reigning queen of being fussy and particular about my home)

let him match the socks, do the towels whatever he is willing to help with. Same with cooking they will remember the moments you spent side by side making a salad that half went on the floor Your days of having them home with you are fleeing and some day you'd give anything for a wrinkled pair of shorts that 4 or 5 year old folded.

Thank You Teresa for that reminder about what is really important! It's so easy for me to get caught up in the "don't make a mess" cycle.....

 

[Teresa Lynn]

Our middle son graduated Friday night my 28 year old SIL and her friend came from out of state
Sat we got up at 5 to start preparing for a 6 PM BBQ
she never even offered to carry any of the food outside because she had never been taught or allowed to help she is the laziest (along with my MIL) people I know.I ended up calling 2 neighbors and 2 of my best friends at 3:30 to help my 82 year old mom (who had a stroke last fall) , my 84 year old uncle and his 78 year old friend , myself and my husband & our 3 kids finish even my son's girlfriend came and washed dishes and made salads etc.The whole time I was ready to explode because the only effort she was putting into the party was grazing & drinking sodas she wouldn't even throw her cans away. I don't ever want someone to have the same feelings toward my kids because they aren't helpful & they can't be helpful if they arent allowed to help

 

[Teresa Lynn]

so Linda, hows the laundry this week?

 

[Kitchen Diva]

DH & I don't do the other one's laundry for that exact reason. He's military and has to have his t-shirts folded a particular way. I hang mine. He's not allowed to do my laundry because he kept using the regular Tide vs. the Tide Free and setting off my allergies. Either that or he would forget to put in fabric softener. Let's not talk about how itchy a lace bra is that's not been washed with fabric softener.

But I do re-fold the towels that DH folds! So I hear you. And I can't even complain about them being wrinkled ... I just don't like the way they hang off the shelf when he's done. LOL

Big HUGS! I know it's hard, but he's trying to help Mommy and be a big boy.

I'm the same way, but at least I've stopped using a tweezer to get perfect edges on all our clothing! Towels still must be folded to look like a lower case "e" when looking at them from the front...

However having a mother that followed behind me and re-did everything I did up until the time I left home at 19...was frustrating and I felt like I could never do anything right. And the sad part is even my stepdad used to tell her that I was doing it just as good as she was doing things, but she still had to follow me around....

I agree to maybe let him fold his own clothes, and a few other things, like pillow cases, or hankerchiefs (if DH uses them) or socks, kitchen towels...

Just a thought. His skills will improve over time and eventually he'll annoy his wife because his folding skills will be superior to hers!

LOL

Oh, and it's also a 12-chocolates program to go along with the 12-sips!

 

[pamperedlinda]

so Linda, hows the laundry this week?

Clean and wrinkley

 

[chefann]

That reminds me. The load of laundry I did this morning is still sitting in the dryer.

 

[Teresa Lynn]

what a mom When ours were little I encouraged them to put things away. Each day before I filled their laundry basket with clean laundry I would put a new sticker (for my preschooler) or with a sharpie write something in the bottom of the basket for our 2 boys. They looked forward to emptying their basket to see what was newits little things like that they remember I never had to harp for them to put away the clothes Now that they are young adults is a different story. My 20 year old is home for the summer and he told me the other day a starbucks cards would be welcome taped to the basket

 

[ChefBeckyD]

That reminds me. The load of laundry I did this morning is still sitting in the dryer.

Ha! I still have loads from yesterday in the washer AND the dryer! I thought about going and doing something about them...but then decided Naaahhh! I can do it in the morning. Laundry depresses me. It's so...so....so....neverending....:cry:

 

[Teresa Lynn]

too funny I LOVE laundry my family has a bet going that I can't spend the 9 days in Maui without doing the laundry at least once, Some people pack fancy toiletries for vacation I pack Tide. (When we camp I wash the laundry in the bathtub) My daughter's best friend loves to leave her dirty clothes here when she stays over because she said my laundry always smells so good.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

too funny I LOVE laundry my family has a bet going that I can't spend the 9 days in Maui without doing the laundry at least once, Some people pack fancy toiletries for vacation I pack Tide. (When we camp I wash the laundry in the bathtub)

My daughter's best friend loves to leave her dirty clothes here when she stays over because she said my laundry always smells so good.

I'll bring you laundry! Little boy playing in the dirt all day laundry!

 

[Teresa Lynn]

I promise you WILL miss those days. I used to have one of those little boys that every frog, toad, worm or bug went in his pocket
One time he forgot to take the frog out before going down the slide...... lets just say he was hosed off under the sprinkler first and those little denim shorts went straight to a black hefty bag

 

[katie0128]

too funny I LOVE laundry my family has a bet going that I can't spend the 9 days in Maui without doing the laundry at least once, Some people pack fancy toiletries for vacation I pack Tide. (When we camp I wash the laundry in the bathtub)
My daughter's best friend loves to leave her dirty clothes here when she stays over because she said my laundry always smells so good.

Beyond the fact that you actually enjoy laundry... where are you camping that you have a bathtub???

 

[katie0128]

Oh, and it's also a 12-chocolates program to go along with the 12-sips!

I think that is the 12-bites program.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

I promise you WILL miss those days.

I used to have one of those little boys that every frog, toad, worm or bug went in his pocket
One time he forgot to take the frog out before going down the slide...... lets just say he was hosed off under the sprinkler first and those little denim shorts went straight to a black hefty bag

I'm already knowing I'm going to miss these days....hate the laundry - but man, do I love that kid and all of his "boyness".

He came in tonight covered with dirt from head to toe - he'd been outside "helping daddy". I said "Okay Mister, I think it's bath time for you!" and his reply was "Ummm, no, not tonight Mom, but I promise tomorrow I will!" (said brightly, with a hopeful look on his face)

Yeah, right....he took a bath - I bribed him with his new water shoes. He took a bath nekked except for his new bright blue water shoes! So darn cute!

 

[pampered.chris]

My DD is 11 and does her own laundry. I get so sick of barrettes and chapstick (mostly the chapstick) and taught her how to do her own. My bf is military and I don't do things quite like he wants, so it is HIS laundry to do. He will gladly hand over the chore, but then complains that I didn't fold right. ERRRR
And I also am one that doesnt like help in the kitchen. My DD would LOVE to learn more things in the kitchen, but I have to 1. be in the mood to cook (I LOVE PC, but HATE to cook at home) and 2. be in the mood to allow "help".
My mother never followed after us cleaning...she just told us what to do then sat on the couch reading and watching tv, so I ALWAYS make sure I am busy when it is time for my DD to do her chores. I don't ever want her to feel like Cinderella.
Linda, when you figure out the secret to letting go of analness...let me know please.

 

[Teresa Lynn]

We have a bathtub in our camper

 

[heather223]

Linda I completely understand! My husband tries to be nice and do the laundry, but it drives me up a wall. Somehow I always end up with my daughter's underwear and socks (mind you she is 3, so clearly they don't fit me!) I have a camisole tank that has been missing for a month.... still wonder where it went. I try and just let it go and correct what isn't done my way but sometimes it is so hard....

Lamars idea is still the best....12 sips!