Dilemma: Transferring From Private to Public High School

[Stampaholic1961]

Here's the situation. My son (16) is currently enrolled in a private college-prep school in another town. He's finishing up his sophomore year. He's been there 2 years. Now he wants to transfer back to the public high school where all of his friends from junior high school & his robotics team go. The school he is in has about 60 kids per grade and the school he wants to go to has 500-600 per grade. I am absolutely devastated about the thought of him going to the public school. I know he won't get the education at the local school that he is getting now. Unfortunately when he started at the private school we had to pretty much force him to go. We told him that he had to go for 1 year then he could make the decision for the next year. The second year he decided to stay where he was. Now he throws this at us. We can't really make him go without being liars & I don't want that.

Does anyone have experience with college admissions? Is he limiting his choices for college by changing schools or will they just look at his GPA & test scores? Any advice would be appreciated. He is so bright & I feel like he's throwing away the opportunity of a lifetime!

 

[tpchefrebecca]

[/QUOTE]

Does anyone have experience with college admissions? Is he limiting his choices for college by changing schools or will they just look at his GPA & test scores? Any advice would be appreciated. He is so bright & I feel like he's throwing away the opportunity of a lifetime![/QUOTE]


I don't have experience with college admissions, but I do with public to private schools.

I just recently took my little ones out of private and into public for financial reasons. I know my children would have benefitted more with the private ed. but I actually knew this was coming so I did a lot of research before hand. Do your research on the public school compared with the private. Show it to your son and explain how you feel. Let him think about it for a few days. If you can find information about how colleges look at kids from private vs. public show him that as well.

Friends come and go. Education lasts a lifetime.

Best Wishes!

 

[yummybytes]

Ok -- here are my thoughts on this...

When it comes to doing well in school, ultimatley the kid is who makes the descision on if they are going to succeed or not. I think you run more of a risk of having a very unhappy and angry teenager who will end up not trusting you.

I went to a small private school because my parents forced me to. It was horrible. I was like a square peg in a round hole. While High School is about learning, it's also about experiences. And the private school, while toted to be superior was not. I was HORRIBLY unprepared for college compared to other students. My guidance counselors were horrible about my preperation as well. I really struggled the first year as a result. While I'm sure things have gotten better over the years, just because you're paying or privitaizing an education does not necessecarily mean it's a better one.

Your son sounds like he's very bright. A robotics team isn't the kinda of group that slackers are going to join. If there are other kids who are on his robotics team are at this school, I think that's a good sign that a) he will be hanging around with the right people and b) their teachers and cirriculum must be doing something right. I'm sure many many successful people have graduated from that public school.

My advice would be to do some research, and let him be a part of it. Once you get some answers, then together weigh out the pros and cons. Tell him honestly all of your positives and negatives, and have him do the same.

In the end, you want a happy kid that trusts you, though. If you respect him and keep to your word that's something he's going to remember forever. If you don't, he's old enough that he's going to remember that as well.

 

[cmdtrgd]

Why not see if both schools will work with you to give him a trial run at the public school without penalizing him at the private school - give him a week or so to try it out.

 

[Teresa Lynn]

My husband coaches the Robotics Team at our high school (partnership with Texas Instruments his employer and I **think** maybe Raytheon.) Not sure if it's the same thing you are talking about.

If that truly is an interest of his I would encourage it, when our oldest son was a freshman they needed a coach so my husband agreed. Now, our son is in college studying to be a bio medical engineer he wants to design prosthetics. That never would ahve been his focus before.

I think each school is different (not colleges but HS as far as his ranking. I know here students must have attended a certain # of semesters to be considered for Val. or Sal. in fact the girl from this year's class had a higher GPA than the 3rd student but because she hadn't been here long enough she was bumped down).
I know it seems unfair but, in our small area you see alot of transferring so the kid can become the star athlete, top of the class etc.

 

[katie0128]

Jmtc...I did the private school think for 7th - 9th grade, but decided (yes, my parents let me make the decision) to transfer back to the public school for 10th grade - graduation and it was the best decision... for ME. I needed more kids to interact with and more choices of classes/clubs/activities/etc. If you told him that he could transfer back after his "trial year", then I suggest that you have him do a "pros-cons" list of each school and use that to determine where he goes. You might want to contact the public school and find out stats of graduation rates, % of students going onto college, earning scholarships, etc. Might help you feel better about his preparation

As far as college goes, I graduated 15th in my class and earned a 4 year, instate tuition/room-board scholarship to the college I attended. I also had the chance to take an AP English course (the private school didn't offer AP courses) and was able to earn 3 college credits in English for this class - I ended up in the Honors Program at college because of it. I feel I was VERY prepared for college - educationally, socially, emotionally, etc. and would NOT have been as prepared if I had stayed at the private school, even though it was "college-prep".

 

[raebates]

Add me to the "let him decide" group. First, you did tell him he could decide for himself after 1 year at the private school. You don't want to break your word. Second, if you force him to stay, he'll have no incentive to work hard. It's difficult to keep most teens interested in school anyway. By allowing him to go where he wants on the condition that he keep his grades up, you can give him a reason for achieving. Just make sure you spell out the conditions (maintaining a certain GPA, taking certain classes, etc.) for him staying where he chooses.

 

[janetupnorth]

Bev - I went to public schools all the way, and if I say so myself I turned out fine!

I do know that when I got to MSOE (Milwaukee School of Engineering), those of us who were in the top X% of our class (I was in the top 10 students of a graduating class of about 550), did much better than the comparible top 10 of a smaller school - it is a numbers game.

I have my daughter in a private school (kindergarten) because I chose the 9 vs. 26 for the reasons you seem to have put your son in the private school. However, I do know he will do much better and stay much more focused on his schoolwork if he makes the choice and is happy where he is going to school.

I agree with Katie too...don't underestimate the opportunities he will be allowed at a public school. I know when I applied for scholarships for college, they were much more impressed by my activities overall then just my GPA. He may be opening a whole new world of GOOD interests and activities at the public school.

Overall, my advice is, don't stress yourself out over it. If you raised him well, he will hopefully be a good kid, but you are very close to the point where it has to be his decision to choose how he wants to behave and what he wants to pursue. We can't mother and protect our kids forever. We have to give them our best advice, and the facts as we know them and hope they make the right decisions (and hope we do too).

 

[raebates]

I like what you had to say about making choices, Janet. When our son was 12 years old, I attended a "Parenting Your Teenager" seminar. One of the things the man said that really stuck with me was that you need to let your teenager begin making their own decisions. They will sometimes make the wrong one, but the consequences will be less at this age than when they're out on their own. Learning to make decisions and deal with the consequences is an important life skill. As Dr. Phil says, you're not raising kids. You're raising adults.

The man at the seminar also said that the goal is that by the time your son or daughter leaves your home, whether to strike out on their own or to attend college, they should basically be an independent adult sharing your home. They should know how to handle money (including writing a check and paying bills on time), how to do their own laundry, how to schedule their time, and how to make decisions.

I talk about him a lot, so you're probably aware that my DS is now 21. He has thanked his dad and me for the way we prepared him for life on his own. I'm very glad I took that seminar. I'm also very glad that I took that advice to heart.

 

[Stampaholic1961]

Thanks everyone for your words of wisdom. I truly appreciate it. My main problem with the school that he wants to go to is their focus appears to be sports rather than education. There is 1 high school for the entire county. It is extremely overcrowded but instead of adding more classroom space or building a second high school (which was supposed to have happened over 20 years ago) they built on a multi-million dollar sports complex.

We've talked to several people about this including a girl who went to the private school, transferred to the public school then transferred back to the private school. She talked to our son & told him that he should stay at the private school. She told us that we should do everything possible to keep him at that school. We have talked to a person at the local university who gets kids from the public school who are totally unprepared for college. They have to take remedial courses to catch up & be able to take basic freshmen classes. We've talked to kids who have graduated from the private school & are doing great in college while their friends are floundering.

We've discussed all this with our son & he doesn't care. He admits that he is giving up a better education & better environment but he just wants to be with his friends. He knows his decision is strictly based on emotion & not information. The kids he wants to be with are all good kids...we've known most of them for years but since he started the Robotics team in January he has slacked off a little in his studies (not a lot but still) I did inform him that if he continues to slack off in the public school that the only time he will be with his friends will be at school. The problem is that he is so intelligent that he has been able to get good grades with little or no effort. Even at the private school he doesn't have to try very hard to get good grades. He has a 4.1??? GPA without hardly trying! (I don't have a clue where he got his brain from!!)

His current school does have AP classes which he was scheduled to take this coming year. The school has a wonderful reputation. 100% of graduating students go on to college; lots of them with full ride scholarships.

I know I have to let him make the decision...I just am trying desperately to get him to change his mind!!

Thanks again for all the advice & the shoulder to cry on!!

 

[raebates]

Bev, I just noticed your signature line. I love it! I have a co-worker at my temp job who remembles that remark.

 

[janetupnorth]

Thanks everyone for your words of wisdom. I truly appreciate it.

You're welcome and I know we don't have all the facts or history in giving you advice. Hopefully, whatever decision you guys make together, it will turn out to be the right one.

No matter how smart he is, he still has to decide to use the brain later. You can send him to HS, send him through the best colleges with the best degrees, but it won't get him through life. I have a full wall of diplomas and certificates here - I don't hang most up and just recently hung up my college diplomas, but they aren't what make me happy in life. I make half of what I'd make in a city, but my kids are in a good area. I enjoy the challenges of work and my field and what my degrees are in, but use my "life lessons" most of all. Sometimes the biggest life lessons are missed opportunities - look at all the examples on CS sometimes! I truly even enjoy what I got taught in sports...playing softball is still one of my "stress relievers" and I'm glad I can do it well because of what I was taught in HS and college. Did it detract from some of my "book work". Yes, a little in college, but that's when I decided not to play. Short story long, your son is growing up, and he will have to do that and make his decisions. Keep guiding him as you are trying and hopefully he'll be happy and strive where he is. Also, don't underestimate the advice his friend gave him - he may be hesistant but may still choose to take it...there are a few months before school starts again...he may still "change" his mind.

 

[baychef]

Bev,
Sounds like you have all done your homework and that he is well aware of the negative consequences. This is only my own opinion (and you know what they say about opinions!!)
I have a 17 year old and I am on the opposite end. He hates school with a passion and even though he is far from lacking intelligence, he will make only the amount of effort needed to "get by". He learns more from "doing" than he does studying.

I see your son as being very bright and ambitious. Two key elements to succeed in life. Right now he knows you are right, but he was promised that he could change schools if he could make his own decision. I feel his grades may slip more as a method of rebellion if he is pushed into going where you want him to go. His rebellion could even go further than just grades. I have seen this with fellow students when I was in school and continue to see it in my limited exposure to students in the school I work in.

My brother has a double major in politcal and social science. My ex-husband has 6 years of college and was once certified to teach. My brother had one job in his major that lasted 18 months and he then went back to the farm to run it and is now on disability. My ex taught for a short time then was a bar manager and now has had a seasonal job and in his mid 50's has his first job with health benefits. Both men can be hard workers, are intelligent and loyal to the jobs they want to do. I have a 2 year degree and do Pampered Chef and earn more than both of them put together, I have benefits and earn retirement credits.

My point is, I know colleges are tough and look at many aspects but your ultimate goal is for your son to grow into a happy adult, have a job and life he enjoys with you as parents in that circle of happiness and family. I say let him try it. If he doesn't like it, then he will have known what it was like. If you go back on your word, it may open a potential Pandora's box with rebellion. Can you make another "deal" that if his grades slip anymore he will have to return to the private school? He is at the age where he does need to be a part of the decision making. You are already teaching him how to think of the consequences of the decisions he makes.
Good luck and I know already that he will go far in life!

 

[Chef Michelle D]

I think you need to let your son go to the school that is going to make him happy. It may be because of his friends, but I rather have a son that is happy and will get good grade then a son that is unhappy and gets good grades.

I don't remember everyting about the classes or the teachers I had in high school, but I do remember my friends and the fun I had. I am still friends with many of them 21 years later. My piont is you have a good son and he will still get good grades. Just because he goes public school doesn't mean he will slack off or get bad grades. It just means he will be happy and with his friends.

Good Luck

 

[jrstephens]

I do not think the college is going to lok at whether he went to public or private to admit him. I think they will look at grades and test scores.

I went to a private school. My husband teaches and coaches in a public school - the same one he graduated from. I do understand there are some differences between the two. Our public school has an advanced diploma too, so, you may want to check into that if you are wanting some honors attached to his diploma.

Also, you need to consider this..does he play sports? If so, you need to check the rules with the school district on whether he would have to sit out a year or anything b/c he is jsut switching schools not actually making a bonafide move to change schools.

Personally, I do not see where he goes to school making a difference on whether he is a success in life. The way we handle our lives is how we succeed or not in my opinion no matter where out education comes from.

In dealing with both schools, I can see the good and the bad in both places. They all have the same problems - just bigger school have more of them and seem to get more attention.

I say let him decide. If he is unhappy at a place he could just zonk out and not succeed anywhere if he is unhappy. Happines is most important to me, even if he decided to not even go to college after high school.

 

[Stampaholic1961]

He doesn't do sports so that's not an issue.

Another issue I have with him changing schools is because one of the friends he wants to be with is a girl that all of the boys in the group have crushes on. She is a huge flirt & has some issues that I won't go into. She was going with one of the boys in the group & they were all over each other. Then they broke up & now they are back together. He really likes her & she has a big influence on him (unfortunately).

 

[pampchefrhondab]

Hi Bev,

I live one county over from you so I know how large the high school in Huntington is!

I can't help you make the decision, but I had my children in private school until last year. They have made a wonderful transition; however, their school is much smaller then Huntington. They get wonderful grades, in part because the grading scale is easier.

Your son may have a better chance of being in the top 10% of his class, which they look at for college. My daughter is going to college next year so we have been touring, investigating, etc. They do only look at class rank, SAT scores and GPA. It doesn't matter if the school is private or public. Many scholarships are the same.

Good luck with the decision!

 

[Stampaholic1961]

Hi Bev,

I live one county over from you so I know how large the high school in Huntington is!

I can't help you make the decision, but I had my children in private school until last year. They have made a wonderful transition; however, their school is much smaller then Huntington. They get wonderful grades, in part because the grading scale is easier.

Your son may have a better chance of being in the top 10% of his class, which they look at for college. My daughter is going to college next year so we have been touring, investigating, etc. They do only look at class rank, SAT scores and GPA. It doesn't matter if the school is private or public. Many scholarships are the same.

Good luck with the decision!

Which county are you in?

 

[Paula R. Lewis]

Hi, Bev,
I guess I'm coming at it from a slightly different angle. I was raised in the South, and went the entire 12 years to a Christian school. My parents were adamant about it, and it was never really up for a discussion.
When I got married, I moved to Ohio, where my husband grew up. I always figured I'd put my kids in a private school as well, as I was always taught that it was "best" for kids to be in one. After all, didn't I want the best for my own children, too?
Well, by the time our second child was starting school, I realized that the costs were just too much, and so I went to the local elementary school to "check it out". I ended up being so impressed, I signed both of them up that very day!
My daughter has now graduated, and my sons are finishing up the 6th and 11th grades this week.
When we first put them in the public school, I was told that it was going to be so hard for them, because the school was "so big". Like they'd probably NEVER get to really do anything.
Well, all 3 kids are/were in the band. My 6th grader is first chair, and my 11th grader is 2nd chair.
My daughter, who'd never kicked a soccer ball in her life, decided she wanted to try out for the team in the 10th grade. I told her to go ahead, because I didn't want to hold her back, but I really didn't expect her to make the team, simply due to her lack of experience. As it turns out, they could accept up to 30 girls, as they have jv as well as varsity teams. The total girls who tried out didn't exceed 30, so no one was cut from the team!

I couldn't believe it! She had so much fun, and I'm sure that she would tell you that most all of her happy high school memories stem from her band and soccer days!!

Oh, and her school graduates around 400 or so each year, so it's definitely not a "small" school!
The secret of being "successful" in such a large school, is to simply find your "niche"...a small group to excel in. A group to enjoy making those great memories with, those great friends.

Ultimately, the decision of private school vs. public school must be decided on in each family. It's not going to be necessarily an easy one, either, as the correct answer will vary so much.

But, like others have said, try to see the bigger picture. Try to realize what will actually have been important, twenty years from now. It may be different when you look at things this way!

Best of luck to all of you!!
Paula

 

[pampchefrhondab]

Which county are you in?

I'm in Wells County.

 

[Stampaholic1961]

I know that not all public schools are created equal! My husband & I both graduated from public school & we are both fairly intelligent people!! Both of my kids started out in out in public school. My son went to public school through the 8th grade. My daughter went to public school through 5th grade. Both were so far ahead of most kids that they were extremely bored. My daughter was being used as a tutor for kids who were behind. She had one teacher who thought that it wouldn't hurt the brighter students to just sit & wait until the kids on the lower end of the scale caught up!

So, we've been on both sides of the fence. My son tried to play football in public school but rarely got to play. My daughter played basketball in private school & had a wonderful time because her school doesn't cut people. Everyone gets to play. The only way you can get cut is if you don't show up for practices or don't follow rules.

Maybe I'm in the minority here but I don't have contact with any of the kids that I went to high school with. My husband only has 1 person from high school that he talks to occassionally. We both went through all of high school without having super close friends there.

There are just so many things about this whole situation that stink!! If he is happy, then I'm not!! No one wins.

 

[Paula R. Lewis]

It is not a pleasant situation, to be sure! I guess you need to figure out exactly "why" you wouldn't be happy if he is in a public school, and then try to look at it as objectively as possible, to see if your "argument" is truly valid, based on HIS needs, or if it's something within you....

OK, that's a bit philosophical, don't you think? <grin> But I hope you get what I mean. It goes back to the "big picture" down the road thing again.

Also, you don't say, but what does your husband think about it?

Paula

 

[pampchefrhondab]

There are pros and cons to both. If I were to pick which to send them to -private high school or grade school, I would pick private grade school - which is what my children did. My oldest was able to go until 8th grade, the other two went until 7th and 5th. It was the hardest decision we ever had to make last year when we pulled the two youngest out of private school! It was due to money, not because we didn't like the school.

My daughter (the 8th grader this year) was very upset at first, but after only a week said she was happy she changed. She didn't always feel this way the enitre shool year, but she was happy most of the time. She did get to play more sports in the private school (she did basketball, cheerleading and volleyball), but she did decide the sport she wants to do in high school - swimming! I know, not one of the sports she did in private school, but she did swimming when she was little. I was glad she was able to make the decision before starting high school. She has also made a lot of friends before going to high school. Luckily for me she picked very nice friends as well. I did make a huge effort to see her old friends as often as possible. She would (and still does) IM them almost every day as well. We also went to her friends games all the time. It took a lot of extra time for me, but she is still friends w/them.

My son (the 6th grader this year) didn't have any friends in the neighborhood before attending the public school, because he didn't know anyone. Now he has a lot of friends he rides bikes, plays baseball with, etc.

I always attended public schools, my husband attended private until high school. I wanted my kids to attend private school because I remembered how much better the kids who went to private school did when they moved to my public high school. They also excelled in sports more. I wanted my kids to have these opportunities.

Again, best of luck with your decision.

 

[Stampaholic1961]

I think you need to let your son go to the school that is going to make him happy. It may be because of his friends, but I rather have a son that is happy and will get good grade then a son that is unhappy and gets good grades.

I don't remember everyting about the classes or the teachers I had in high school, but I do remember my friends and the fun I had. I am still friends with many of them 21 years later. My piont is you have a good son and he will still get good grades. Just because he goes public school doesn't mean he will slack off or get bad grades. It just means he will be happy and with his friends.

Good Luck

I understand this, at least on some level, but how much will he actually see those friends when it is such a huge school?

 

[Stampaholic1961]

I'm in Wells County.

That would be the Bluffton area, right?

 

[Paula R. Lewis]

Big schools mean more opportunities, that's all. It means there's more clubs, more activities, more choices.
Ultimately, the kids usually end up in close-knit, smaller groups, where bonds are formed. The nice part about it is, they are usually with other kids who share the same interests, too, and are not put together because there's no one else to be "put with"!!
So, it's really not all bad, honestly!!

Best of luck!
Paula

 

[Stampaholic1961]

It is not a pleasant situation, to be sure! I guess you need to figure out exactly "why" you wouldn't be happy if he is in a public school, and then try to look at it as objectively as possible, to see if your "argument" is truly valid, based on HIS needs, or if it's something within you....

OK, that's a bit philosophical, don't you think? <grin> But I hope you get what I mean. It goes back to the "big picture" down the road thing again.

Also, you don't say, but what does your husband think about it?

Paula

Before my kids were even born I worked at Subway & kids came over for lunch every day. It wasn't a great situation then & definitely hasn't gotten any better. Drugs, alcohol & sex are rampant. They have police on the premises all the time. There was a stabbing a few weeks ago & according to a friends daughters there are fights every day. I know his school isn't perfect but there isn't a single pregnant student. They don't even have locks on their lockers because there isn't a problem with stealing. For the most part, kids are more respectful than the kids I've met from the public high school.

My husband isn't happy about it either but he's not as upset about it as I am. Of course, he is pretty laid back & doesn't get as hysterical as I do!!!

It's not that he wants to go to "a" public school. It's that he wants to go to "this" public school. I've had problems with this school system for years. Our last superintendent & I had words more than once. Their focus on sports rather than education is one of my big concerns with this school.

 

[chefbritt]

The town I went to school in had a public high school, which consisted of students from the six surrounding towns, and a very well known private school with a great reputation. I went to the public school. I graduated as a member of the school's scholar program, took AP classes, had leadership positions in several clubs and organizations, and had a wonderful experience. I knew many of the kids from the private school, and they did not seem any more advanced than my own classmates. Having gone to elementary and middle school at a tiny school, I loved the opportunities offered in a larger high school. In middle school, I was never able to find my niche, most of us socialized with each other not because we had similar interests and got along, but because there was nobody else around. My social life improved dramatically once I hit a larger school where the students had more of a variety of personalities and interests. Oh, I also should add, most of my classmates did go onto college, many with scholarships and to several prestigious universities. In my experiences with admissions officers, (I gave campus tours for the admissions office) they are looking more and more at extracurricular activities and accomplishments, your essay, and your grades over the whole four years of high school than they are at your SAT scores or at which school you went to. With the way you described your son, he will get into a good college, and I'm guessing he will excel at wherever he goes. But you don't want him to get burnt out and frustrated with school before he even gets to that point. This is a big time for figuring out who you are, becoming independent, and making your own choices, and I think it's important that you let him do that. Giving him guidance and letting him know how you feel is important too, but ultimately I think this needs to be his decision. That's just my opinion. Oh, and I should add, I'm just finishing my sophomore year of college, so this is the perspective of someone who has been there not too long ago.

 

[Stampaholic1961]

Another thing...I know several public school teachers in this area. One has her kids at the same school that my kids go to, one has her kids at another private school in FW & another had kids who went to the public school but she wanted to send them to the same school as my kids. Her son tried to get a teaching job at my kids school so his kids could attend there.

 

[Bexamo]

Short and SweetWow! You really started an interesting discussion full of great information and wise advice. I will be very brief. The point I want to make is that Colleges and Universities are having a hard time attracting the kinds of students they want. I know from experience that what will make the difference is extra curricular activities.

An awesome grade point average isn't all that impressive if that is all the kiddo has to stand on. On the other hand, a respectable grade point average with a full plate of clubs, etc - perhaps even a leadership position or two - is what won me scholarships. Those kids are the "safe bet" - statistically, they do better in their new environment of freedom vs. responsibility. Public School will work just great - any school will do. Focus on the well-rounded experience and success will find you all!!

 

[Stampaholic1961]

Wow! You really started an interesting discussion full of great information and wise advice. I will be very brief. The point I want to make is that Colleges and Universities are having a hard time attracting the kinds of students they want. I know from experience that what will make the difference is extra curricular activities.

An awesome grade point average isn't all that impressive if that is all the kiddo has to stand on. On the other hand, a respectable grade point average with a full plate of clubs, etc - perhaps even a leadership position or two - is what won me scholarships. Those kids are the "safe bet" - statistically, they do better in their new environment of freedom vs. responsibility. Public School will work just great - any school will do. Focus on the well-rounded experience and success will find you all!!

So far in high school he has participated in Model UN, joined the robotics team & is involved in karate. He was in the band until his new braces caused problems. This summer he will be volunteering with a day camp called Camp Invention. That's the extent of his activities. Does he need to add anything else to his list to make himself more attractive to colleges? Based on a test he took last year he is already getting information from a ton of colleges. I think we've received emails & brochures & letters from 30-40 colleges & universities so far. He has gotten stuff from Stanford, Pepperdine, Duke plus a slew of in-state schools.

 

[Teresa Lynn]

They look at Leadership, extra curicular activities, community service and a biggie Financial NEED
my son had a fantastic GPA, was very involved in church, school and community activities but daddy makes too much $ for many of them. He did get a few local ones. But, many are based on the students need.

 

[Stampaholic1961]

I want to thank everyone again for their advice. I'm trying really hard to accept his decision but it's tearing me up. I start crying every time I think about it. I know this doesn't consign him to working at McDonald's the rest of his life but I just feel like he wasting such a wonderful opportunity. Thanks again!

 

[GourmetGirl]

As a public school grad who had the option to go to private school... I look back and regret my decision. I saw so many people who had worse gpa's, SAT/ACT scores, and school involvement get accepted into schools that I was rejected from; just because they went to a private school. I loved my public high school, don't get me wrong and I succeeded in pretty much every way: sports (badminton, cheerleading and varsity soccer) as well as activites (student body officer, fca officer, volunteer club officer, nha member, dancer, thespian) and graduated with a 3.9 gpa and a 1410 on my SATs and I started college with 27 credits under my belt between AP classes and dual enrollment classes. However I feel that if I went to a private school I could have ended up where I am today with less stress during high school.

I ended up at a very respectible private college where I earned a scholarship and grants. However, I worked very hard to get where i did there by forming a first-name basis relationship with my admissions counselor who went to bat for me come scholarship time.

Another I do know is that out of my graduating class of 220, 4 of us went to private schools a handful went to public and many, many more went to community college. I also know that only a very small percentage of us has actually graduated from college (it's been 5 years since high school).

Also, the public school seemed much more okay with mediocrity (they tried to get me to go to an in-state public college instead of a private college that I wanted to attend). I also had to stand my ground and "fight" to get dual enrollment classes allowed at my school because nobody had ever tried it before.

I guess what I am trying to say is that while public high schools can provide a great environment, applying to college and being from a well known private school where many of their students have come from (and then succeeded at college) can be a great boost come admissions time.

Overall, your son sounds like he has a good head on his shoulders and will succeed in whatever he does, but now might be a time to look at what college he wants to attend and see if switching schools will harm him in any way come admissions time.

Sorry for the short story turned long, but this is an issue that I feel very passionate about.

 

[Stampaholic1961]

As a public school grad who had the option to go to private school... I look back and regret my decision. I saw so many people who had worse gpa's, SAT/ACT scores, and school involvement get accepted into schools that I was rejected from; just because they went to a private school. I loved my public high school, don't get me wrong and I succeeded in pretty much every way: sports (badminton, cheerleading and varsity soccer) as well as activites (student body officer, fca officer, volunteer club officer, nha member, dancer, thespian) and graduated with a 3.9 gpa and a 1410 on my SATs and I started college with 27 credits under my belt between AP classes and dual enrollment classes. However I feel that if I went to a private school I could have ended up where I am today with less stress during high school.

I ended up at a very respectible private college where I earned a scholarship and grants. However, I worked very hard to get where i did there by forming a first-name basis relationship with my admissions counselor who went to bat for me come scholarship time.

Another I do know is that out of my graduating class of 220, 4 of us went to private schools a handful went to public and many, many more went to community college. I also know that only a very small percentage of us has actually graduated from college (it's been 5 years since high school).

Also, the public school seemed much more okay with mediocrity (they tried to get me to go to an in-state public college instead of a private college that I wanted to attend). I also had to stand my ground and "fight" to get dual enrollment classes allowed at my school because nobody had ever tried it before.

I guess what I am trying to say is that while public high schools can provide a great environment, applying to college and being from a well known private school where many of their students have come from (and then succeeded at college) can be a great boost come admissions time.

Overall, your son sounds like he has a good head on his shoulders and will succeed in whatever he does, but now might be a time to look at what college he wants to attend and see if switching schools will harm him in any way come admissions time.

Sorry for the short story turned long, but this is an issue that I feel very passionate about.

Unfortunately he doesn't know where he wants to go or what he wants to major in. He did mention recently that he is thinking of politics or law. He sees all the wrong stuff going on in politics & wants to get in there & change things!!

What you mentioned about regrets is one of my biggest fears. I know what it is like to have regrets & I don't want my children to have to live a life full of regrets.

Today was really difficult for me. We went to the closing exercises/moving up ceremony. There were lots of awards given & my son received one in computers. Then they had this little ceremony of the seniors turning over the reigns to the juniors. It was beautiful. I couldn't help think how they can't do things like that when you have 500 kids in a class instead of 60.

 

[Paige Dixon]

A successful kid will be successful in almost any school. My brother was only one year ahead of me, got the exact same public education as I did. He's one of the most sought-after pediatric facial plastic surgeons in the country, I'm a "home party lady". He thinks he got a fantastic public education, I'm still learning things from cartoons!

The bigger point is to raise a decent person, not necessarily the most successful one. Going back on your promise may affect his character, far more important than his future success.

 

[Stampaholic1961]

The bigger point is to raise a decent person, not necessarily the most successful one. Going back on your promise may affect his character, far more important than his future success.

We're not going to go back on our promise. We're going to let him make the decision but that doesn't mean I have to like it, do I? lol

He's been telling us that the reason he wants to change schools is because he doesn't have any friends at the private school & that all his public school friends are encouraging him to transfer. Well, he brought one of the boys from the private school home with him for the weekend & went & played paintball with several of the people from the public school today. My husband plays too & one of the girls & he were both out at the same time so they were sitting & waiting for the game to be over. They started talking about Micah changing schools & she said that she has been telling him that he should stay at the private school!! She asked him where the boy that was with him was from & he said the private school. She said "then you do have friends there. That means you lied to me!!) I knew I liked that girl!!! Too bad she doesn't have more influence on him!!

 

[janetupnorth]

Well, there is still a few more months before school starts again...let us know what happens....

 

[Stampaholic1961]

Well, there is still a few more months before school starts again...let us know what happens....

I haven't enrolled him at the public school or withdrawn him from the private school for that very reason!! I keep hoping he will change his mind but I'm afraid he is as stubborn as me!!