Dark Cloud Over Me: How My Director's Move Affected My Business

[yummy4tummy]

Hi guys, I have been out of town and MIA from CS (did you miss me? ) Anyway, something happened to me with my director and I need your input.

My director is moving far away soon. She mentioned that she was offering her "team" to come to some of her upcoming shows and she would give them the bookings from the shows because she would be so busy preparing for her move. Well, I told her that I was interested and we set the date for me to be at this one show. She calls me in the a.m. and tells me to bring some host packets and my calendar, which I do. Please keep in mind that I live an hour away from where the show is. My DH and DD drop me off and go to town to do some shopping. I get there a few minutes before her (wait outside) and when she arrives, I carry her stuff in, help set up, and prepare and cook her recipe #1. She does introduce me and proceeds to do her show, has me cook #2 recipe (after she preps it) and then input guests names in her laptop. Everything is going well until the closing. She tells them that she is moving but she will still be available to do catalog shows (pushing them HARD) and that she will still be coming to the area on a monthly basis so they could also book around those dates. Then in a half-hearted manner she offers them the ability to book with me as an option. As I am inputing all the guest's orders she is doing rounds with the guest and planning the bookings (3) with her schedule. I am furious to say the least! I spent 5 hours of my day under false pretences being her "monkey on a string". Then she had the nerve to tell me that she was sorry that I didn't get any bookings (Gee, I wonder why?). I was so mad http://www.thesmilies.com/smilies/mad0245.gifI called my DH to come pick me up. There was no way I was going to help her pack up after all of that. When DH got there, I told him what went on. I was almost in tears from the frustration. He so wants me to quit so I won't be "under her" (this wasn't the first incident with her...just the "topper") Between this and the PLG incident, I feel like I have this dark cloud looming over me. I know, bless and release but should I say anything to her?

 

[britishchef]

I would say something. That is really unfair. When I was moving (to another country though) I could have still booked catalog shows but instead I asked my SIL to come with me. She just watched the demo and as I checked people out if they wanted to book I had them go over to her. I never expected her to help with my demo or anything, although she did help me get set up and do the prep. I think she got 3 bookings from that, I had 1 which was before I left that I ended up asking her to do as well. Don't quit though, you'll lose your career sales. You can ask for hospitality instead.

 

[PampMomof3]

I would totally say something. When I haven't agreed with my recruiter (which happens more than I thought) I have totally told her. Tell her how badly it hurt your feelings and how much of a waste it was for you. I mean, getting no bookings is one thing but really pushing it the way she did, just rude!

 

[MicheleC]

Valky,

That just stinks! I would let her know how you feel. Is she doing this with any other members of the team? If so, maybe you can at least prevent the same thing from happening to them. Just be honest without being emotional. She may be scared about moving her business and didn't think things through. Maybe you can come up with a fair resolution. Maybe taking another show she has on the books and running with it. Possibly being the go to person when people need to reschedule (you know it will happen) or for some reason she can't make shows. I can understand mentioning the catalog shows but definately she should have given you the bookings!!

I'm so sorry you had this experience.

 

[Ginger428]

I WOULD REALLY give her a piece of my mind!!! How unthoughtful can she be...I HATE when some women get a little power & turn themselves into %^**(^$@#!@#&*. I would also tell her to throw me a bone just for showing up & doing ALL of her work for her!!!Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....pisses me off when people act like that.....

 

[pamperedlinda]

Gee, I wish I had an assistant like you to go to my shows with me and do ALL OF THE WORK!!!

Seriously, I would speak to her and let her know how dissappointed you are in her and that she should have been more up-front and honest with you. She promised you something and then changed the offer without informing you. Definately not fair. And, I'd be very leary of any more of her offers to help out her team....

Are you planning to promote to director? Will that put you out of her line when you do? If so, go for it and be done with her.

So sorry this happened to you. Hugs!

 

[lisacb77]

Say something, and if it goes nowhere, report her to HO. It's specifically against policy to have someone else do the show for you, which is what you did by cooking the recipes.

 

[raebates]

Yes, we missed you!

Yes, I'd say something. You were lead to believe that she was introducing these people to you so that you could form a relationship with them. That's not what happened. I would want to know why.

The good news: Once she moves you can move to a hospitality director.

 

[cookinmama]

Yes, tell her how you feel. Maybe mention that you deserve some ompinsation since you basically did 1/2 her show.

 

[Chef Kearns]

Yes, tell her how you feel. Maybe mention that you deserve some ompinsation since you basically did 1/2 her show.

I think she means "Compensation" and you definitely deserve that too!!

 

[DebbieJ]

Wow, that's difficult.

I would be honest with her. Tell her you wouldn't have come if you knew she was going to be pushing all those bookings for herself.

Try to be honest without being accusatory. Use "I" statements to tell her how you feel.

You took time away from your family to do HER job! Not fair!

 

[DebbieJ]

Oh, I just wanted to add....whenever my director asks for my help or brings me along to a fair or whatever, she is always giving me something. I helped her with a big show at her house and she bought me a small prodcut of my choice on the host order. She had a knee injury a while back and needed help doing fairs and she always let me in on it for free (instead of splitting the cost with me) and if we are getting towards the end of the fair and she has more leads than me, she directs all the leads to me instead of her until we are even.

From reading this site, I appreciate my director more and more every day.

 

[pamperedalf]

Valky I am so sorry this happened to you! I agree w/ the above posts about talking to her!! That was just plain rude. I know that you are really feeling that black cloud right now. I know how it feels, I was ready to quit last December as well. IMO things happen for a reason, and I believe there is a nice shiny rainbow at the end (hopefully w/ a pot of GOLD). Sometimes it takes a while, but that's what we are here for. Vent away, and keep us updated!! Look for that shiny rainbow w/ a pot of GOLD!!!

 

[janetupnorth]

If she offered for you to come and be GIVEN some of the shows, that is what was agreed to - not come, do the work for her and get nothing when she got 3. She should give a portion as promised. I would definitely confront her with what she said to you vs. what you got and turn it around...ask her how she'd feel in your shoes if you took her to your show had her do all the work and then took the bookings?

 

[gilliandanielle]

Call her on it- if you don't she will continue to do it to everyone else in your cluster! If she already has done this to others you should ALL report her to HO!

 

[yummy4tummy]

UpdateListen to this. My director calls me this a.m. and tells me that she has something for me. A lady calls her interested in PC. She wants her to do an open house (with other vendors) but my director doesn't like to do multi-vendor open houses because they are usually a waste of her time (that has been my experience with them too so far). She tries to talk the lady into just having a PC show with her but she refuses. My director is actually telling me this! Anyway, she thought that I would like to do the Open House (I guess she thinks that I don't mind having my time wasted). She called me to tell me that she gave the lady my contact info and she gives me the lady's info.

Because I was in the midst of a medical crisis with my mother, her call caught me off guard and I really wasn't prepared to have the "discussion." I know if I say anything now, I will explode and I don't want to do that. I am a very easy going person but don't mistake my kindness for weakness. I am sure that she will view me as ungrateful for the "lead."

To answer an earlier question, I know that my director has given other cluster mates bookings as it has been mentioned at the meetings. Sometimes I feel like the bas*ard child at a family reunion during the meetings. I am polite and always stay to help clean up (and I travel the farthest).

I guess I will do the open house and hope for the best. As my DD says, "when life hands you lemons, make beef stew" (what can I say, she's a comedian). Hopefully I will get some leads of my own and be able to rub it in to her.

 

[quiverfull7]

Think about how totally awful Darby felt at being the victim of theft and now what the amazing show that God has blessed her with from the police officer! Go make your lemonade.. .it may be the best ever!

 

[chef_kimmo]

Well, I have lived with hospitality directors through out my career and a director who didn't do much for me. You went to the show with the impression you were going to get bookings in return. I would have felt used too. When you are able to, make sure to tell her - even if it is by e-mail. I would probably like to do it face to face because e-mail and sometimes the phone you can't really see a person's reaction but just know you tried.

But to me the more important thing to take from this is dignity and learning something. I have helped others put on a meeting for a director to have everyone thanked & given a gift EXCEPT me and you know by that point in my so called relationship with that person I wasn't surprised. (I was the only hospitality) You are going to be a better person for it. You will know how you ask people to do things and how to make sure you make it clear what you are needing. You are going to treat others with respect and you will go further in the long run.

DO NOT quit over this. It will take too long to get started over again. The director I was under who didn't really help me, well she moved on so I don't think about her anymore other than to think about who is now my director and how she helps me. Gives me the right words. etc. I am working to build my business and recruits and to be honest I truly feel we will make our businesses what they are with or without the help of any director.

 

[yummy4tummy]

I have no intentions of quitting (that was my DH's idea). I must tell you that I have more help, commrodary, and friendships through this web site than I could ever hope for. I appreciate all the inspiration which in turn makes me want to share my ideas (good, bad or indifferent) with you all. I think I will fore go any other cluster meetings with her and look for a hospitality director. Will HO direct me to one (closer to me as well)?

 

[DebbieJ]

Unfortunately, hospitality needs to be requested through your director.

 

[janetupnorth]

Unfortunately, hospitality needs to be requested through your director.

Can you skip your director and ask one level above??? ...just curious...

 

[yummy4tummy]

I think the next line director is in another state. I have never met her but I'm pretty sure that's the case.

 

[pamperedharriet]

Valky, sorry to hear how you were used. I agree with everyone and that you should speak to your director and tell her how you feel. This is not right. It's not like being asked to observe a show to get pointers!

 

[SillyChef]

Hi guys, I have been out of town and MIA from CS (did you miss me? ) Anyway, something happened to me with my director and I need your input.

My director is moving far away soon. She mentioned that she was offering her "team" to come to some of her upcoming shows and she would give them the bookings from the shows because she would be so busy preparing for her move. Well, I told her that I was interested and we set the date for me to be at this one show. She calls me in the a.m. and tells me to bring some host packets and my calendar, which I do. Please keep in mind that I live an hour away from where the show is. My DH and DD drop me off and go to town to do some shopping. I get there a few minutes before her (wait outside) and when she arrives, I carry her stuff in, help set up, and prepare and cook her recipe #1. She does introduce me and proceeds to do her show, has me cook #2 recipe (after she preps it) and then input guests names in her laptop. Everything is going well until the closing. She tells them that she is moving but she will still be available to do catalog shows (pushing them HARD) and that she will still be coming to the area on a monthly basis so they could also book around those dates. Then in a half-hearted manner she offers them the ability to book with me as an option. As I am inputing all the guest's orders she is doing rounds with the guest and planning the bookings (3) with her schedule. I am furious to say the least! I spent 5 hours of my day under false pretences being her "monkey on a string". Then she had the nerve to tell me that she was sorry that I didn't get any bookings (Gee, I wonder why?). I was so mad http://www.thesmilies.com/smilies/mad0245.gifI called my DH to come pick me up. There was no way I was going to help her pack up after all of that. When DH got there, I told him what went on. I was almost in tears from the frustration. He so wants me to quit so I won't be "under her" (this wasn't the first incident with her...just the "topper") Between this and the PLG incident, I feel like I have this dark cloud looming over me. I know, bless and release but should I say anything to her?

That is super rude of her. Yeah, I read through the thread and seen that she "passed along a lead"... I think that is a bunch of crap too. But all you can do is thank her and so fall into her trap anymore. I would however at least let her know that waht she is was very rude and inconsiderate! Good luck with this one. I know she would HATE me as a consultant.

 

[SillyChef]

Oh, I just wanted to add....whenever my director asks for my help or brings me along to a fair or whatever, she is always giving me something. I helped her with a big show at her house and she bought me a small prodcut of my choice on the host order. She had a knee injury a while back and needed help doing fairs and she always let me in on it for free (instead of splitting the cost with me) and if we are getting towards the end of the fair and she has more leads than me, she directs all the leads to me instead of her until we are even.

From reading this site, I appreciate my director more and more every day.

DEB.

You are really lucky to have such a considerate director!!!

 

[legacypc46]

I'm not sure about hospitality having to be requested by your director. I am in a cluster with several hosipitality consultants; one of whom simply sought out help herself when her husband was assigned to Germany.

 

[chefann]

Valky, if your Director is already moving far away, has she arranged for hospitality for everyone in the cluster, or is she still planning on doing meetings during her once-a-month trips back to the area?

If it were me, I'd have arranged for something for my group already.

 

[OhmyDLM]

Unfortunately, hospitality needs to be requested through your director.

I think that Deb is right. I have been a Director for about two years now and I made the first mistake of not setting up hospitality for a member of my downline's dowline (If that makes sense LoL) about a year ago. My downline consultant (She's a Future Director) tried to set it up herself for one of her downline members as she is a go getter and likes to do that kind of stuff, but we we're quickly informed by both of our uplines and the home office that she couldn't and it was my job.

Since then, I've made sure to be the one to take care of hospitality requests. If it's formal enough to go through the home office to find a hospitality director, I'd definately have you're director be the one calling, even though I know it's probably an uncomfortable situation for you, given what you're situation is!

 

[cookinmama]

I think she means "Compensation" and you definitely deserve that too!!

Sorry yes I do mean compensation, guess I typed to fast and didn't notice.

 

[AJPratt]

Welcome back! You could always approach her and ask something like, "I was wondering if I misunderstood why I attended that show with you..."

I would do the open house. Why not? You just never know!

 

[yummy4tummy]

Valky, if your Director is already moving far away, has she arranged for hospitality for everyone in the cluster, or is she still planning on doing meetings during her once-a-month trips back to the area?

Her plan to fly back every month to hold meetings so no hospitality is in the plan. I really would like to go to someone closer anyway just don't know if there are any directors closer to me.

Anne, I am set up to do the open house. I am hoping that it's a doozie so she will kick herself in the butt. LOL.

 

[AJPratt]

Good for you!!! And I would call HO for hospitality. You will still need someone local.

 

[cmdtrgd]

Her plan to fly back every month to hold meetings so no hospitality is in the plan. I really would like to go to someone closer anyway just don't know if there are any directors closer to me.

Anne, I am set up to do the open house. I am hoping that it's a doozie so she will kick herself in the butt. LOL.

I have a feeling that flying back each month will get tiresome and she will end up not doing it.

 

[janetupnorth]

I have a feeling that flying back each month will get tiresome and she will end up not doing it.

Not to mention expensive!

 

[yummy4tummy]

Not to mention expensive!

She has already mentioned that her DH will be WELL COMPENSATED in his new job and the flight is only about $50 each way (the joy of living in a tourist destination)

 

[lizcooks4u]

:-(Of course you were GREATLY MISSED. I"m soooo sorry this has happened to you, but go kick butt and do GREAT. I don't think I could approach someone without blowing up either, I could possibly call HO and mention it though. NOt to sound like a coward, but I"m sure I'd fall for it until I got tired of being burned too. I'm also confident you'll do GREAT at the multi-vendor show especially from all that you've recently learned both with PL and unthoughtful/selfish director.

Good Luck and please don't go away!!!!

Liz

 

[yummy4tummy]

As MY luck would have itWell the multi-vendor open house was supposed to take place today (Friday Night) My director emailed me late, LATE Wednesday night and said she heard from another vendor that the show was postponed. Now why didn't the host call me? I called the host Thursday a.m. to find out the story and she said that her daughter's in laws are having "issues" and that she would reschedule for later this month. At this point, I'm not holding my breath.

 

[Chef Kearns]

Make sure you are in contact with the host. You don't want her talking to your director. If your director gets a note that it will be a better event than she anticipated she might just snatch it back from you. She seems a bit selfish to say the least.

 

[cookinmama]

When you do the openhouse take the Trifle bowl and Mix N Chop for sure. I have sold so many of these. They are HOT!!

 

[mommyhugz1978]

I would so great say something to her.. that isnt' right at all!!

 

[Miss Cori]

Cant you ask for Hospitality or what ever (i am new so I dont know) because you want somthing closer to you. If you dont want to get into the real reason why. I dont know how that works

 

[yummy4tummy]

I have and plan on keeping in contact with her but how can I get her to keep in contact with me? To find out "through the grapevine" that the show was postponed. Postpone is fine...just would have been nice to find out first hand.

Cant you ask for Hospitality or what ever

from what others have said, the director has to request hospitality for you.
I really don't see this happening for me....I just get more insight on here than at my meetings and often WAY before my meetings.

 

[gilliandanielle]

I just saw something on CC for a hospitality request- I wonder if you could go straight to PC and explain the situation to get hospitality above her head.

 

[yummy4tummy]

I'll have to check it out. Thanks Gillian. Although I am blissfully content with my cyber cluster.