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Babysitters, Husbands, and Perseverence

In summary, the woman is frustrated with her husband's military schedule. She is not able to book any shows because he is due back in a week and then they are gone again for three weeks. She is also struggling to find a babysitter. She has tried the hospitality director and cluster, and is thinking of trying a mother's group.
misericorde
13
I expect my husband to share in the household and parenting duties, and he expects the same. In our house, nobody would dare say that he's so good for "helping" me. He simply does his half of the chores, I do mine, and sometimes we cover each other when careers or kids intrude.

The only barrier to our idyllic life is the Navy, my arch-nemesis. We just got transferred from Virginia to SoCal, a fact that makes me smile. I way prefer the west coast, and it turns out bookings are so much easier to come by out here than they were in DC. But naturally, when my own career is really showing promise, the underway schedule goes nuts. Since we moved in and had our 50 million pounds of household goods delivered, he's been gone (yes, I'm trying to unpack our stuff, wedge into a smaller house than we had back east, and care for a 2 year-old and an 11 month-old at the same time... alone). That was a month ago. He's due back in another week... for three weeks. Then they're gone again. This schedule continues until March when they leave for at least six months.

This schedule has put me in the bookings hurt locker. I haven't been here long enough to find a babysitter, but even if I did have one, who can afford it? Between gas and the sitter, I'm no more ahead than I was.

I was able to do one show when we were still in temporary housing, and I got two hard bookings for November and four soft bookings. That's amazing - I've never had more than two bookings of any flavor before. Everyone wants to do a party, but now I can't schedule parties with confidence that I'll have childcare.

For those of you with husbands who don't watch their kids or are unable to for whatever reason, how do you deal with your business? I'm at the point now that I think I'll wait for April to stock up on some knives and maybe new spring products on the cheap, then let myself go inactive. If the schedule improves when the husband returns in the fall (we hope... please behave, Kim Jong Il!), I could start again. It just seems like a complete shame to go inactive when there's plenty of business out here.

Frustrated in Cali
 
Kerri-Leigh, I'm sorry to hear that things are so tough for you.I don't have any children, but someone in my cluster does and has to occasionally deal with her husband being gone (national guard duty). Luckily, her husband is very willing to have Daddy time with the kids when she's got shows scheduled. But when he's gone, she does have to rely on a sitter. I believe she found hers at church. She also coaches the heck out of her hosts, so she ends up with a higher show average than she would have otherwise. And she just budgets for a few hours sitting on each show night.Are there any other families in your area who would be willing to trade kids a couple of times a month? That would give you a couple of nights that you could schedule shows.
 
How about trying the hospitality director and cluster to "swap" childcare during upcoming show's for you and them?
 
Do you know of a local mother's group? I recently moved with my husband and little one and we had tough time finding sitters... I have my first show in November where my husband can't be home and I'll have to rely on a sitter to put my little one to bed and stay with her while I'm gone. I joined a mother's group (by searching the internet for local groups) then asked them for good references for my daughters age group (17 months). It's worth a try. Also if a local college has child education/teacher degrees you can try posting your name there. Often students studying to be teachers etc. love to babysit on the side for extra cash and experience with kids. Good luck- and god bless you taking all that on with two little ones! I don't think I could handle moving alone with two kids AND building my business in a new location!! Good for you!!
 
I saw the title of this post and said to myself Sounds just like me!

I can feel for you! I have had similar issues since I started. While luckily My hubby and I did not get married till after he was out of the Navy (I could never understand keep track of his underway schedule) He has always had a wacky schedule which has not been very conducive to a full PC schedule. About 6 months into my career I found a great sitter thru a mom I know. Then we moved an hour away to a community where I knew NO body!
Ahhh to start over again! My contacts though grew faster than expected. Luckily having Kids really helps to get to know others! I highly recomend looking into some moms groups like others have mentioned. I belong to our local MOMS club(you should be able to google it) it is a notional org. Or MOPS is a good one too. Also if you can find any type of parenting classes or a parent involved preschool that will help. Even Call your local girlscout troup (Also should be able to find info online) They are usually nice respectful kids.
Well good luck to you! It will all work out! Sometimes juggling family and PC can be a challenge but I know I wouldn't change it for anything!
 
what does wave 3 mean? I have seen it under several names on this site and still don't have any clue.
 
It means what wave you are in for National Conference. It is all based on your Executive Director
 
As a fellow military wife, even though I don't have children, I can tell you that your local FSC should be able to help with all sides of your situation. They can refer some local babysitters, help you with getting ideas of where to start your business in the area, and of course dealing with your husband's scheduled deployments.
 
  • Thread starter
  • #10
I love you guys! You're always so full of great ideas and wonderful support. I appreciate all the responses. Stephanie, you're hilarious. I have the feeling your husband is Air Force... the AF always has such a great support system built in for both service member and family. The Navy... well, not so much. The only thing I've ever gotten out of family services is attitude. Ah well. I keep thinking it'll be easier after I meet the wardroom spouses, but I don't foresee that happening given the insane schedule they're dealing with right now.Thanks again, everyone. I'll look into ideas you put out here. You guys so rock!
 
  • #11
You could also do an open house to introduce yourself and maybe do the shows at your house where you could have a cheaper & less experienced sitter because you are in the house.
 
  • #12
I love being military but it is soo hard to move. About a year ago I moved from Oceanside to New York for recruiting duty. Talk about husbands never being home...
My director in CA (Calsbad) is wonderful I would contact home office and get a hospitality director right away. She will help you out, there might even be someone in the cluster to swap childcare, she has several military wives in her downline.
Go to Camp Pendleton get your kids into the mommy and me programs, maybe even checkout the spouses club for yourself. You will meet wonderful people and everyone is always looking to swap childcare. Until you build those relationships you may have to have a sitter for a little while. Call Military One Source 800-342-9647 or militaryonesource.com they will help you find a babysitter.
Good luck!!!
 
  • #13
I still don't understand the word WAVE. Is that the group or time you would walk across stage. For example if you were wave 1 you would go first and so on?
If your wave 3 would you be required to go the third set of confrence dates?
I am not at that level yet so maybe that is why I don't understand it. Sorry, I am new to the biz and just trying to find out all I can about what I can achieve and earn. I love free stuff and recognition.
 
  • #14
Marjorie...
Our National Conference is set up in sections or Waves. You attend the wave that your upline Director is assigned. This year I will be in Wave 3 so I will be attending conference July 16-18. Does that help?

Kerri-Leigh,
So many of us military spouses have faced what you are facing. My husband is a Marine attached to a Navy Command so I feel your pain! LOL!! We are living for the first time in a Navy community but it looks like we will be moving back to the Marine Corps next summer. I know that you are not on base so you will have to look around your community to see if you can find a babysitter. Best of luck and let us know how it goes............
 
  • #15
Kerri-Leigh,
I am not in the military but maybe if you have an open house (great way to meet new customers and friends) You could ask some of the other women about sitters in the area. Also, if you feel comfortable doing so, you could always do the show at your house for a hostess. I had a hostess ask me to do this since I lived in a more central area for your friends (plus she did not need to clean).
 

Related to Babysitters, Husbands, and Perseverence

1. What is the purpose of the "Babysitters, Husbands, and Perseverence" cookbook?

The purpose of this cookbook is to provide easy and delicious recipes for busy parents and caregivers who are looking for quick meal ideas that the whole family will love. It also includes tips and tricks for getting kids involved in the kitchen and encouraging healthy eating habits.

2. Are the recipes in this cookbook family-friendly?

Yes, all of the recipes in this cookbook are designed to be family-friendly, meaning they are suitable for all ages and palates. They are also easy to customize to fit different dietary restrictions or picky eaters.

3. Can the recipes in this cookbook be made ahead of time?

Many of the recipes in this cookbook can be made ahead of time, either by prepping ingredients or fully cooking and storing in the fridge or freezer. This is perfect for busy families who want to have meals ready to go during a hectic week.

4. What types of recipes are included in "Babysitters, Husbands, and Perseverence"?

This cookbook includes a variety of recipes, including breakfast dishes, main courses, sides, and desserts. There are also options for vegetarian, gluten-free, and dairy-free diets.

5. How can this cookbook help with meal planning and saving time?

The recipes in this cookbook are designed to be quick and easy to make, making meal planning and preparation a breeze. It also includes tips for meal prepping and using pantry staples to save time and money.

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