Applying the 3-2-1 Plan to Your Spiritual Life

[BethCooks4U]

I was raised Catholic and left that denomination for over 10 years. It was what I wanted and needed to do at that time. I CHOSE to go back to the Catholic Church because I found that the other denomination (and others I looked into) didn't have any more answers than it did and many members were way overboard in their "thoughts" and it was home for me. As it turns out my DH was raised in another denomination and he CHOSE to join the Catholic church BEFORE he even met me because of the church's stand on marriage, for one thing, and his church's lack of a stand on commitment.

I have been very disgusted with the behavior of too many priests and leaders in my church but I also have seen that there's plenty of the same kind of thing in all organized churches.

I am "born again" in the Catholic church - it is a personal choice and a lifestyle. I believe you are not "saved" and then everything is a-ok. You become aware and you change how you live. Wearing your faith on your shoulder does not make you better than others. Live the life and people will want to know what the special thing within you is. I do share my faith without being asked - people always know I am a faith-filled person.

Thanks, Grandmarita for your post on this subject. I have skimmed through the thread not wanting to get "into it" but I do feel there has been a lot of put-down against the Catholic church. I don't care what faith anyone has as long as they treat others well. Some leave one denomination or the other for many reasons - they are a personal choice - but I think we all have to be careful about the sensitivities of others.

I know this is a Christian thread and that is fine but our Jewish friends and those of other faiths are just as good and faithfilled. Just be careful and pray before you say something that could be taken as a bash on another's faith.

 

[Chef Kearns]

Boy the Devil got in here didn't he? My goodness. We were having a wonderful discussion and sharing then what?...Don't get me wrong I am NOT calling anyone the Devil; however, he used some of you to turn the course of this wonderful thread. Remember ladies what we wrestle against...not flesh and blood, but principalites and forces of darkness.

Anywhoo...Hopefully we are done with that. Thank you Debbie for asking for a PM.

Those of you that read the bible and pray with your kiddos before bed...how do you do it? Do you let them read then discuss the passage together? Do you read to them and ask them what they think it means? When you all pray together are you guiding the prayer? My oldest are boys ages 8 and 9 and my youngest are girls ages 3 1/2 and 9 months. They are on different levels of understanding. Should I/Could I do our reading and prayer time together?

I would really love to do this with my children. My husband is not saved. He thinks my Christian beliefs are just a recognized form of cultism. When we married I was going through a period in my life turned away from God. I was living in sin and completing wrapped up in it. Now we are unequally yoked, but at the time we were married I was just as messed up as my husband. It is hard now, but what do you do? So for now things are a little turned around in the order of things in my home. Instead of my husband as the head in reference to our faith it is me. That is a lot of pressure, dude!!

 

[jenniferlynne]

I just read through the whole thread and pulled all the prayer requests together so we can start to pray for each other. I hope I summarized them correctly. Here they are and I apologize if I've missed anyone but we can always add more:


Chef Kearns – putting God first, being able to speak about God

caritok – putting God as the priority

Shawnna – pray without ceasing, witnessing, work on worship songs, extra time in prayer and studying for SS and Childrens’activities.

ChefKristin – struggling/questions about faith

Hmolah – Incorporate beliefs into business, staying strong in faith

KellyTheChef – self-confidence, following God’s plan for her life, strength

PamperedChefDebi – Personal issues, spending time with God daily, husband/beliefs

Raebates – helping people, cultivating fruits of the spirit, seeking God first

Jules711 – Being more involved reading her Bible, a quiet time and place to do so

Jenniferlynne – getting back to a morning devotion

Rebeccascabinet – Glorifying God through her business, sharing faith

MicheleC – pray more, reach out to people, memorize scripture

KellyTheChef – Husband’s struggle with faith, raising her child

Cori – boyfriend doesn’t believe in God – pray that they are brought together in faith

Momma23boys – relationship with husband, respecting him and accepting God’s will for him, teaching her boys and praying with them with consistency, putting God first

Janetupnorth – witness at work, time with family, help focus on prayer

Janet, thank you for posting this!!!! I'm going to print it out!!
Can I add one? My Father-In-Law will not go to Church. He won't even talk about it. All we know is that something happened to him when he was a teen. My husband said that him and his brother were baptized and then they never went back. He thinks that maybe when my FIL's Dad found out he beat them. My MIL grew up going to Church and has had everyone she can think of come and talk to him. He just won't budge.

Me and my step-daughter went walking yesterday and we were talking about it and she almost started crying. He's such a great guy. Real easy going and easy to get along with (can't say that for the MIL). If we need someone to watch the kids he's always right there. It's a very sad situation to know that one day he was ready and then something happened in his life to completely turn him off of Jesus.

By the way, my FIL's Father ended up shooting himself when he found out he had cancer. It was before I met my husband, but I think my FIL was much older when that happened.

 

[janetupnorth]

Boy the Devil got in here didn't he? My goodness. We were having a wonderful discussion and sharing then what?...Don't get me wrong I am NOT calling anyone the Devil; however, he used some of you to turn the course of this wonderful thread. Remember ladies what we wrestle against...not flesh and blood, but principalites and forces of darkness.

Anywhoo...Hopefully we are done with that. Thank you Debbie for asking for a PM.

You read my mind! He has such an EASY job getting our feelings hurt and turning us against each other.

Those of you that read the bible and pray with your kiddos before bed...how do you do it? Do you let them read then discuss the passage together? Do you read to them and ask them what they think it means? When you all pray together are you guiding the prayer? My oldest are boys ages 8 and 9 and my youngest are girls ages 3 1/2 and 9 months. They are on different levels of understanding. Should I/Could I do our reading and prayer time together?

Actually, we started something a few months ago called "Family Time". We do it once a week with the kids. It is Bible Stories with object lessons. We are using more of a preschool book since my kids are 3 and 5 1/2. What was recommended though was if your kids are split, focus a little more on the older ones, and you'll be surprised what the little ones pick up. I can give you the site for the place to give you some ideas (they work with Focus on the Family a lot)

I would really love to do this with my children. My husband is not saved. He thinks my Christian beliefs are just a recognized form of cultism. When we married I was going through a period in my life turned away from God. I was living in sin and completing wrapped up in it. Now we are unequally yoked, but at the time we were married I was just as messed up as my husband. It is hard now, but what do you do? So for now things are a little turned around in the order of things in my home. Instead of my husband as the head in reference to our faith it is me. That is a lot of pressure, dude!!

I can't truly relate and have to say I'm thankful for that! That is pressure!!!!! I'll be praying for you. I can say I can relate in that we've gone through periods of time where I've felt I'm not on the same page as my husband and I'd like to kick him in the butt - it does get stressful and drag you down. Thankfully, my husband gets through any slump pretty fast. Now with doing "Family Time", he leads it and the kids are the ones who remind him and keep him on task, they love it.

OK, heading now to pull the website information off my e-mail. Also, if you want to PM me I'll forward you some of the Family Time e-mails with ideas.

 

[DebbieSAChef]

Prayer

Boy the Devil got in here didn't he? My goodness. We were having a wonderful discussion and sharing then what?...Don't get me wrong I am NOT calling anyone the Devil; however, he used some of you to turn the course of this wonderful thread. Remember ladies what we wrestle against...not flesh and blood, but principalites and forces of darkness.

Anywhoo...Hopefully we are done with that. Thank you Debbie for asking for a PM.

Those of you that read the bible and pray with your kiddos before bed...how do you do it? Do you let them read then discuss the passage together? Do you read to them and ask them what they think it means? When you all pray together are you guiding the prayer? My oldest are boys ages 8 and 9 and my youngest are girls ages 3 1/2 and 9 months. They are on different levels of understanding. Should I/Could I do our reading and prayer time together?

I would really love to do this with my children. My husband is not saved. He thinks my Christian beliefs are just a recognized form of cultism. When we married I was going through a period in my life turned away from God. I was living in sin and completing wrapped up in it. Now we are unequally yoked, but at the time we were married I was just as messed up as my husband. It is hard now, but what do you do? So for now things are a little turned around in the order of things in my home. Instead of my husband as the head in reference to our faith it is me. That is a lot of pressure, dude!!

I never meant to offend anyone just to share my testimony and be honest about my experiences in the catholic church. If some of you feel fulfilled in the catholic church, that's good for you but I never did and had to share my honest experience and in love hope to help others to find JESUS. I think satan has an open door for destruction when God's truth is supressed and we try to not talk about things that we should talk about.
Honestly everyone feels this is not the time and place for it, but I don't see why not. I don't think we can't have an adult converstation on this thread. Many are voicing their opinions and that's good, that's all part of life.

Anyway Sandra I have a dear friend who is unequally yoked and she must now rely on Christ through prayer and promises in scripture to wait on the Lord for the softening of her husband's heart. Cling to the word of God and his promises and pray, pray, pray!! And we will pray for you as well.

"And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away.
"For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy.
"Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace.
"For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband?
"Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?"
1 Corinthians 7:13-16

Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives. While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. 1 Peter 3:1-2

God is faithful and never gives us more than we can bear. Remember that He cares for you so cast your cares upon Him. He loves you with an everlasting love Sandra!

Debbie

 

[janetupnorth]

Janet, thank you for posting this!!!! I'm going to print it out!!
Can I add one? My Father-In-Law will not go to Church. He won't even talk about it. All we know is that something happened to him when he was a teen. My husband said that him and his brother were baptized and then they never went back. He thinks that maybe when my FIL's Dad found out he beat them. My MIL grew up going to Church and has had everyone she can think of come and talk to him. He just won't budge.

Me and my step-daughter went walking yesterday and we were talking about it and she almost started crying. He's such a great guy. Real easy going and easy to get along with (can't say that for the MIL). If we need someone to watch the kids he's always right there. It's a very sad situation to know that one day he was ready and then something happened in his life to completely turn him off of Jesus.

By the way, my FIL's Father ended up shooting himself when he found out he had cancer. It was before I met my husband, but I think my FIL was much older when that happened.

Oh Jennifer, that is sad...will add it!!!!

We had a similar story with my dad in another sense. He was raised Lutheran (Swedish-Lutheran) and was being raised to go to seminary, etc. He got saved at a Billy Graham crusade in the 50's. After that, he was totally against the Lutheran church so much that when I learned to play organ at age 8, he screamed at me because I was practicing "Holy, Holy, Holy". I guess his church played it every day and whatever happened there he couldn't get over.

He died a year ago, but finally in the last few years, he came to love the song again (I had to explain to him what a wonderful hymn it was) and got over whatever his church hurt him with...right before he died, we were preparing to send our daughter to the Lutheran school in town (WELS) - homeschooling is financially not an option and our public schools have 26-30 students in the kindergarten classes. I explained to him all their beliefs, etc. We have a few differences from them, but most items are the same and we can discuss at home the differences. When he died, he was actually excited that she was going there (she was his first grandkid at age 65 and loved her so much). We never did hear what happened at his church but suspected that he was chastised for his "new beliefs" because the church was not a conservative lutheran church. The irony of it was he was invited to the crusade by girls at the Lutheran Bookstore in town (another church). There are so many variations within each religion as someone has mentioned before...

Anyway, that just got long...but praying for you...this situation was minor compared to what you brought up. I'm sure the hurt alone it tough for him to deal with.

 

[DebbieSAChef]

Kid prayer and reading timeOh and Sandra I forgot to address this as well. I know for my family my husband does "Family Worship" in the evenings. And then prayers are done right before bed.
Our "Family Worship" is when we read God's word and allow the kids to ask questions or interact. This is anywhere from 15-30 minutes depending on the passage and the interaction time.
Then the kids get in their PJ's, brush their teeth and we pray.
But you can do whatever you want to do, or whatever works for your family.
You can read to them while they are already in bed, just gather them all up in one bed and read to them. Then just explain as much as possible so that they can understand and encourage them to ask questions.
After that is done you can ask them each to pray to the Lord. Even my two year old can pray by herself. Not that it all makes sense but she is on her knees with her eyes closed and we are training her to do what her older siblings do. Our 16 month old is in the room too but he is just exploring.
My nine year old daughter and 10 year old son are encouraged each night to pray for their salvation, and for whatever is on their heart.
IT's great you have a desire to do this with your kids. And who knows maybe one day dad will join in too. Kids can get adults to do just about anything!

Debbie

 

[janetupnorth]

Family Time website: http://www.famtime.com/go/

Kirk Weaver is who came and spoke at our church - he does a great job!

This month's activity:
http://www.famtime.com/go/activity.php?&feature=1&PHPSESSID=eeb339deaaeb41789f1c291bb72ae5d9

 

[Shawnna]

Sandra...The Word says that if we as Christians do everything we are suppose to do...being obedient to God, praying, witnessing, etc...that our household will be saved. I personally believe that that includes not only our spouses and children, but also our other relatives. We must continue to pray and fast for them to be saved.

Debbie...those are good scriptures. It is true that we must as wives be submissive to our husbands. That doesn't mean our husband is our master, but it does mean that after discussion and prayer that he is the one to make the final decision. If our husband is not saved, it is very important for us to continue in our faith and be a light to him. We must be a witness to him in our words and actions. He is the head of our household and we must let him be...as long as what he is asking doesn't go against God's word.

 

[micocina]

We homeschool our 3 children (11,9 and 7) and part of their curriculum is of course Bible. That is the first subject in the morning. They get to sing hymns, listen to a story and do their morning prayers. We also pray throughout the day, especially at meal times. At bedtime, we discuss the events of the day and say our prayers. I put on either soft classical music or hymns on their alarm/cd and they doze off.

 

[jenniferlynne]

Debbie...those are good scriptures. It is true that we must as wives be submissive to our husbands. That doesn't mean our husband is our master, but it does mean that after discussion and prayer that he is the one to make the final decision. If our husband is not saved, it is very important for us to continue in our faith and be a light to him. We must be a witness to him in our words and actions. He is the head of our household and we must let him be...as long as what he is asking doesn't go against God's word.

We recently had a couple quit our Church because they said they don't want their daughter growing up to believe she has to be submissive. It is sad

 

[BethCooks4U]

Boy the Devil got in here didn't he? My goodness. We were having a wonderful discussion and sharing then what?...

And I was sharing my experience. Hmmm...

 

[janetupnorth]

And I was sharing my experience. Hmmm...

Beth - I truly don't think that was directed at you...I think it was directed at the fact people starting disagreeing back and forth rather than why I started the thread...to see how we could use the 3-2-1 in our lives spiritually and to pray for and encourage each other. Often people respond while others are typing or without reading the last thread posted...yours was on a new page and probably not read at the time.

I was encouraged by your experience.

 

[Chef Kearns]

Beth - I truly don't think that was directed at you...I think it was directed at the fact people starting disagreeing back and forth rather than why I started the thread...to see how we could use the 3-2-1 in our lives spiritually and to pray for and encourage each other. Often people respond while others are typing or without reading the last thread posted...yours was on a new page and probably not read at the time.

I was encouraged by your experience.

That is who I was directing my comment to. The back and forth stuff. Everyone's experiences are valid. If we can all agree to accept that everyone has had a different life experience then we can share openly in this thread without hurt feelings.

 

[MicheleC]

I'm reading Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs right now too! I think it is awesome... The Bible says that 'the king's heart is in the hand of the Lord and He has the power to turn the direction of His will...' I believe that we ~ as wives ~ can't change our husbands but God can. All we can do is to continue loving, respecting, praying and believing that his heart is in God's hands! God will turn it as He wills!

I read thru PDL a couple years ago and found it to be extremely practical as it took a step-by-step aproach in my walk with the Lord. I recommend both of these books!

We just finished going through his study as part of a Sunday School class and it has been wonderful! It has enabled us to better understand the different perspectives we come from simply by being men or women. The first part of his study starts out teaching men how to see through "pink" glasses and the later part goes more into teaching women how to see through "blue" glasses. As your men go through the first part of the study they may feel like they are being targeted but he definately hits on the things we women need to do to honor and respect our husbands later. I would recommend his study to anyone or going to one of his conferences if you are able.

 

[BethCooks4U]

Everyone's experiences are valid. If we can all agree to accept that everyone has had a different life experience then we can share openly in this thread without hurt feelings.

I agree. And thanks for the explaination. And as I said in the first post I made in this thread I love the idea of using the 3-2-1 concept in our faith life!

 

[DebbieSAChef]

How sad

We recently had a couple quit our Church because they said they don't want their daughter growing up to believe she has to be submissive. It is sad

How sad to hear that happen. Unfortunately feminism is rampant in our society and the thought of being submissive is one that conjures up images of pregnant women barefoot in the kitchen, scrubbing floors on their hands and knees and the husband coming home to demand lovin' and food!! LOL

Fortunately our husbands are commanded to love us and in that they are to treat us with respect, gentleness, and unconditional love. Not that we are perfect but when we follow God's plan for our lives and for our families we can't go wrong.
Ephesians 5:25-33 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
26. to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church- for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery-but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself...

Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them
The world has everything backwards but God's word brings much needed truth.
Proverbs 16:25There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.
Isaiah 55:8-9My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,' says the Lord. 'For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts.
I am happy for those who read their bibles and understand the importance in taking our proper role in the home. It is such a blessing. My husband is my protector, provider, and best friend!

Debbie

 

[PamperedChefDebi]

treat us with respect, gentleness, and unconditional love
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church
Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them

And if our husband do not treat us this way, or are very inconsistent, what do we do? What can we do, in the eyes of God? Yes, we must pray for our husbands. But how much must we put up with?

 

[Shawnna]

treat us with respect, gentleness, and unconditional love
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church
Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them

And if our husband do not treat us this way, or are very inconsistent, what do we do? What can we do, in the eyes of God? Yes, we must pray for our husbands. But how much must we put up with?

It is my personal belief that God does not want us to be abused. I do not believe that you should stay in an abusive home. It is not good for you or your children. But, that is my personal opinion. I have never been in that situation. You will have to spend time in prayer asking God what to do. I believe if you stay true to God, spend time with Him, study His word, etc. that He will deliver you from your situation. God will intervene and take care of his children.

 

[DebbieSAChef]

Pray

treat us with respect, gentleness, and unconditional love
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church
Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them

And if our husband do not treat us this way, or are very inconsistent, what do we do? What can we do, in the eyes of God? Yes, we must pray for our husbands. But how much must we put up with?

I have a friend who is unequally yoked and her husband is abusive. For the sake of her small children, one is from a previous relationship that he tends to not like and be mean to, I told her that she needs to think of their safety as well as her own. She is pregnant again with his baby. This will make number two and he is still abusive to her even though she is pregnant. Children cannot defend themselves and need us to protect them. We must protect our kids no matter what.

I don't know if you mean put up with him being abusive or putting up with them just being lost.
It's hard for women to keep our mouths shut. Now I am not condoning abuse in any way (verbal, physical, emtional), I have suffered all three at the hands of lost cruel men in my lifetime including my own father.
I have heard it said that a man will never win a verbal assault against a woman. I know there are exeptions but we are told in scripture to try to be meek, lowly, quiet because it is not in our nature.
That is not to justify the actions of a man who is mean, controlling, disrespectful, or hard to live with.
Scripture tells us that adultery is the only reason for divorce. So many times a woman will become a christian and get a false idea she needs to divorce her lost husband and marry a christian.
God hates divorce and there is a difference between divorce and seperation due to safety issues. Even marriages where adultery has occured, God can restore and heal those marriages if both are willing to work it out, especially the one who sinned.
I hope this helps in some way. I don't know what you mean by "put up with", I don't know what you are referring to. Either way humility, patience, unconditional love and submission are great things to learn in a difficult marriage. But not learned alone. Get a good support group for yourself and of course as you mentioned pray, pray, pray!!! We will pray for you too!

Debbie

 

[MissChef]

This thread is great and tomorrow I am going to take the time to read through this more. I am a born again child of God and I totally believe in Jesus and that he is the way, the truth and the light. There is only one way to God and that is through Jesus. It says so in the bible and that is the only book in life that I try to follow to the fullest. It is God talking to me, so I try to read it as much as I can. One testimony I have to say is I have been attending my church for almost 7 years and attended another one before that one for 2 years. I grew up in church but never really knew anything until 9 years ago! My husband believed in Jesus but did not go to church with me. Didn't believe he needed it! But he listened to my children and I talk and watched how we did things. My kids are so awesome! They have the love of Jesus just spilling through them! They are continuously telling their friends about Jesus and showing them love the way Jesus would. At least they honestly try! My 6 year old daughter struggles with rude kids but we talk and she keeps trying. My 10 year old son has really reached some of his friends and I'm so proud!
Anyway, last year we really went through a rough period of time and we were being told we needed to move and at the same time my husband got laid off.
About 2 weeks into this time, my husband woke up one Sunday and got ready for church and went with us! He decided to keep going and also made the decission to tithe the way he was suppossed to and let me tell you.... we were in a place where we thought we couldn't afford to tithe completely, what we have learned is we couldn't not afford to tithe! Our situation has changed completely! He is attending church every week. He also got baptised again, our whole family did it together at the end of the summer last year and I have never been so proud!
Our kids respect him more and I have never loved him more or been as happy with him as I have been this last 9 months and we've been together 17 years this May. It's not us, all the glory is to Jesus and we are doing so well because Jesus is the head of this house!
I will think about the original 3-2-1 of this thread and post on that tomorrow!
Good night I need to go to bed so I can be rested for church tomorrow!
God bless you all!
Again Great thread! thanks!

 

[MissChef]

Oh real fast! Our house did sell, but it sold to a man who wanted to rent it out and asked us "what do I need to do to get you all to stay?" We didn't want to move anyway, at least not when we were being made to move! We want to move when we have enough money to buy a house! When it's our choice! We have a great relationship with the new landlord and also my husband went back to an old company and stayed until something bigger and better opened up he switched to a new company in November and he's now 2nd in command in his office! He is doing well and he is very happy! And he is reaching people with Jesus all over! Buying bibles for his friends and he gave up all his "worldly" hard rock and has switched to Christian Rock and has a better attitude and I believe all of this has happened because we now have allowed God to bless us and we have favor with God. It is so true that we will still continue to face tribulation but God WILL bring us through all the time and now that our family is united through God, we will conquer for God and though God....Amen!
Again Good night, I just wanted to finish my story!

 

[PamperedChefDebi]

I don't know if you mean put up with him being abusive or putting up with them just being lost.

I meant put up with being treated "meanly," as less than we deserve. My husband can be great, but he can also be just plain mean. (Verbally abusive.) He's gotten better but, I feel so worn out trying not to let it get to me and trying to give it to God. That why I feel like it's ridiculous. Do I just keep gonig through this and giving it to God my entire life? We're a blended family and one of his sons (11 years old) is having some really big problems (just got suspended from school) and he keeps just wanting to "talk to him." He'll take away TV, video games, and going anywhere. But it's obvious to me (and I'm the one home with them all the time) that he still doesn't get it. This school year has been terrible and he has my husband totally fooled. Well, since my husband says I'm too mean to him (because I don't buy into his junk) he now wants me to leave him alone. Literally. ?????? So we're home together but barely interact. I've spoken to my husband about this from every perspective imagineable, but he won't budge. I told him this is undermining any authority I have with his 15 year old and my 9 year old as well. I told him he's not allowing us to be partners by not allowing me any involvement. We got called to the vice principal's office Friday and my husband was mad at ME!! I finally just got up and walked our and left. My standards are much higher than my husband's (I realize that NOW) and I refuse to lower them and he refuses to raise his. What will that do to our children? It ends up drawing a line between his boys and my son. And it's obvious to them. But if the only other option is to allow all the boys to grow up with low standards, I won't allow that. At least not for my son. So, I ended up wondering, does God want our boys to see this? Does God want me to compromise what I know is right as I raise my son? I don't think so but then what are my options? I try my best to set and enforce my standards but without him backing me up, it's crazy. My gut tells me to go. But I don't feel that is what God wants and there is no adultery (thankfully) so.... I feel trapped in a situation that is NOT right or what I deserve.

OK, I'm not trying to hijack the thread, honestly. But these questions have been in my mind for the last 6 months and it's making me exhausted. So advice from other Godly women is MUCH appreciated.

 

[KellyTheChef]

Debi~

We are getting ready for church right now, so I don't have time to PM you or to type out a response to your situation. I just wanted to let you know that I will be praying you this morning and I will get back on here later on today.


Kelly

 

[janetupnorth]

I meant put up with being treated "meanly," as less than we deserve. My husband can be great, but he can also be just plain mean. (Verbally abusive.) He's gotten better but, I feel so worn out trying not to let it get to me and trying to give it to God. That why I feel like it's ridiculous. Do I just keep gonig through this and giving it to God my entire life? We're a blended family and one of his sons (11 years old) is having some really big problems (just got suspended from school) and he keeps just wanting to "talk to him." He'll take away TV, video games, and going anywhere. But it's obvious to me (and I'm the one home with them all the time) that he still doesn't get it. This school year has been terrible and he has my husband totally fooled. Well, since my husband says I'm too mean to him (because I don't buy into his junk) he now wants me to leave him alone. Literally. ?????? So we're home together but barely interact. I've spoken to my husband about this from every perspective imagineable, but he won't budge. I told him this is undermining any authority I have with his 15 year old and my 9 year old as well. I told him he's not allowing us to be partners by not allowing me any involvement. We got called to the vice principal's office Friday and my husband was mad at ME!! I finally just got up and walked our and left. My standards are much higher than my husband's (I realize that NOW) and I refuse to lower them and he refuses to raise his. What will that do to our children? It ends up drawing a line between his boys and my son. And it's obvious to them. But if the only other option is to allow all the boys to grow up with low standards, I won't allow that. At least not for my son. So, I ended up wondering, does God want our boys to see this? Does God want me to compromise what I know is right as I raise my son? I don't think so but then what are my options? I try my best to set and enforce my standards but without him backing me up, it's crazy. My gut tells me to go. But I don't feel that is what God wants and there is no adultery (thankfully) so.... I feel trapped in a situation that is NOT right or what I deserve.

OK, I'm not trying to hijack the thread, honestly. But these questions have been in my mind for the last 6 months and it's making me exhausted. So advice from other Godly women is MUCH appreciated.

Debi - at this point, I don't know how to answer you, so I'm just going to pray about it this morning. All I know is God desires the best for his childern, but he doesn't keep us from trials to grow our faith. All I can cling to for you right now is that if you are faithful to God, He will prevail and bless you more than you expected. What lies between here and there, I do not know. I wish you lived close to me. On April 21st at our church, we are having a lady come speak with her mother who grew up in a Christian home (dad was a pastor) and was definitely the prodigal daughter. It took 30 years of rebellion before she came back. She is supposed to speak on what parents can do in those situations. April 21st is a long way off, but if I can go, I'll glean what I can for you. Until then, I can only promise to pray...I do many things, but counseling is not one. Have a wonderful Sunday morning.

 

[PamperedChefDebi]

Debi - at this point, I don't know how to answer you, so I'm just going to pray about it this morning. All I know is God desires the best for his childern, but he doesn't keep us from trials to grow our faith. All I can cling to for you right now is that if you are faithful to God, He will prevail and bless you more than you expected. What lies between here and there, I do not know. I wish you lived close to me. On April 21st at our church, we are having a lady come speak with her mother who grew up in a Christian home (dad was a pastor) and was definitely the prodigal daughter. It took 30 years of rebellion before she came back. She is supposed to speak on what parents can do in those situations. April 21st is a long way off, but if I can go, I'll glean what I can for you. Until then, I can only promise to pray...I do many things, but counseling is not one. Have a wonderful Sunday morning.

Ya know, that just made me think about the fact that his mom is an Elder in her church. And I know alot of it has to do with the fact that he is wrestling some demons himself. But he keeps reverting back to his own understanding.

For the sake of the thread, any of you please feel free to PM or e-mail so others can concentrate/discuss the 3-2-1 concept that Janet initiated. And thank you for your words of kindness and encouragement.

 

[janetupnorth]

Ya know, that just made me think about the fact that his mom is an Elder in her church. And I know alot of it has to do with the fact that he is wrestling some demons himself. But he keeps reverting back to his own understanding.

For the sake of the thread, any of you please feel free to PM or e-mail so others can concentrate/discuss the 3-2-1 concept that Janet initiated. And thank you for your words of kindness and encouragement.

Debi - we're here to help you and pray the best we can for you. You're not hijacking and I think we can multi-task and do both if you want. Keep us posted and we'll keep praying!

 

[Shawnna]

Debbie...I will make it a point to pray about your situation at prayer meeting tonight. I truly believe that if you are faithful to God he will see you through this. We are only human and your answer lies with God. You will have to keep praying about it...and fasting. Perhaps you need to pray and tell God that you are waiting on his answer and that you will be fasting...whether its one meal each day or one day each week, or even several days in a row. When we truly get desperate before God and seek his face, we will begin to see miracles happen and lives changed. I honestly do not feel that I have an answer for you today, but I will be praying for you and with you about this situation.

 

[Shawnna]

This thread has moved into something deeper than what it was originally intended. I hope that is okay with everyone. I want to share something that happened to me yesterday.

I was outside working in my flower beds. That is a miracle in itself because I am not a plant person. I struggle to make even ivy grow. But I do go out in spring and clean out my beds and wait to see what God does there.

Anyway, I started as usual in my iris bed. Every year I begin there and every year I uproot irises because I forget that they are so fragile. An iris has a long tubular bulb that pretty much lays on top of the ground. Most of the plant is exposed. The roots are tiny spider-leg like things that barely go into he ground. You have to be very careful because their root system is so delicate. So, I began to rake the leaves away with gusto...only to pull up some bulbs. As I began to replant them, God spoke to my heart. He said..."How is your root system? Is it strong...like an oak tree...or is fragile like the iris? Is the least little disturbance going to uproot you and cause you to fall by the wayside?"

Wow, it really hit me hard. I want my christian root system to be strong and sturdy...to stand fast in the face of adversity. The Lord dealt with me all night about this. I was even up in the night praying about it.

So, my question for you is...How strong is your root system? Is it strong like the oak tree or fragile like the iris plant? I think it is time that we Christians dig deep into our souls and plant our roots deep in Christ.

 

[hmolah]

This thread has moved into something deeper than what it was originally intended. I hope that is okay with everyone. I want to share something that happened to me yesterday.

I was outside working in my flower beds. That is a miracle in itself because I am not a plant person. I struggle to make even ivy grow. But I do go out in spring and clean out my beds and wait to see what God does there.

Anyway, I started as usual in my iris bed. Every year I begin there and every year I uproot irises because I forget that they are so fragile. An iris has a long tubular bulb that pretty much lays on top of the ground. Most of the plant is exposed. The roots are tiny spider-leg like things that barely go into he ground. You have to be very careful because their root system is so delicate. So, I began to rake the leaves away with gusto...only to pull up some bulbs. As I began to replant them, God spoke to my heart. He said..."How is your root system? Is it strong...like an oak tree...or is fragile like the iris? Is the least little disturbance going to uproot you and cause you to fall by the wayside?"

Wow, it really hit me hard. I want my christian root system to be strong and sturdy...to stand fast in the face of adversity. The Lord dealt with me all night about this. I was even up in the night praying about it.

So, my question for you is...How strong is your root system? Is it strong like the oak tree or fragile like the iris plant? I think it is time that we Christians dig deep into our souls and plant our roots deep in Christ.

Wow, Shawnna, that really just spoke to me! I will definitely share this story and this example with my husband and with loved ones! It is a good thing to think about! Thank you so much for sharing this! I believe that is what this very thread is about, and I believe this is what being a Christian is about!

THANK YOU for your God-inspired testimony!

Praises!