Will We Lose Our Home? Need Help During Financial Struggle.

[wadesgirl]

I agree with everyone else on this issue, it's time to take a serious look at your relationship. My biggest question would be have you been helping to pay the mortgage? If so, I would defidently want to know where my money was going.

 

[ljeffries]

Ohhh, I had a question that maybe someone knows the answer to. Once the auction takes place, I know its up to the new owners to evict us, but does anyone know normally how long that procedure takes?

I think you are incorrect there - typically when a foreclosure happens, the house is empty. There is not typically an auction, typically the bank tries to sell the property. Again, sounds like the person that you are so in love with is telling you stories that you are buying hook, line and sinker.

 

[DebbieJ]

Most times you are evicted immediately. Depends on who buys the house at auction.

 

[jodie]

I've worked at an oral surgeon and maxillofacial office for 7 yrs. Implants are best done by a surgeon and sometimes a periodontist. The dentist can put on the crowns (teeth) after an implant is placed in the jawbone. Implants are made of titanium and will stop further bone loss which is the most important thing because it will bond to the bone. check out http://www.piads.org just for more info on them. Implants are expensive! Most insurance plans do not cover them. Some people will have 3-5 implants placed and then put a partial (like a row of teeth) on top of the implant. They are worth the money. However, a good dentist will tell him ALL of his options. And they should be able to provide a payment plan. Sending prayers to you!

 

[candiejayne]

He wasn't lying, I did some calling on my own and got what information that I could. It's the back taxes that is due. I did know about them, I work for the goverment and deal with the property taxes daily, I just really did not think of that as being the issue, slipped my mind I guess. I saw forclosure in the paper and assumed it was with the bank. He is one payment behind for the year, but it has been sent in, and should reach them soon.

I am very familiar with the tax sales, so we will just have to wait til auction, then pay off whoever bids on ours.

We have also contacted his annuity company and they are working on letting him withdraw money from there to pay it off.

We have also decided that from now on, his money will go to me with the exception of an "allowance". I'll take care of paying all bills.

I feel stupid for not thinking about the taxes, especially since I knew they were past due and for a long time. He thought he had escrow, but when he refinanced a few years back, they did not set the escrow back up. It happens a lot, but people usually catch it before it gets this far. As for it being part of my job, i feel even stupider for not trying harder to get it paid!

 

[janetupnorth]

Good thing it is figured out now!Are you able to pay the taxes and pull it out of auction?

 

[gailz2]

I agree this year there should be no presents -- you need to get your home back and your lives back in order. Contact a local Salvation Army -- they may be able to put you in contact with some organization (like a Christmas Bureau I work for locally) that will help provide food and gifts for Christmas. Call right away -- it may not be too late. I'm glad to hear he is willing to turn over the finances to you. You probably should also control the mail coming in to your house so there are no more surprises. Be smart, your own future is up to you.Check into paying the taxes NOW -- don't wait. He should have paid his late payment in person, not send it in the mail at this late date.

 

[BettieC]

Don't feel stupid!! Stuff happens. I hope this can all be resolved!

 

[pamperedbybarbara]

I wish I was around the corner from you and could give you a big hug, but cyber hugs will have to do {{{{HUGS}}}}. I am praying for you.....

 

[candiejayne]

Having the money before the auction will depend on the annuity company and what they get done for us. I know that we can pay them at the county beforehand as long as we have the money either cash or cashiers check!

While I was typing this he called, the annuity company wants a denial letter from 3 banks saying he can't get a loan, and then within about 5-7 business days we will have a check to save the house! AND he just collected on a side job he is working on (he's laid off right now) so he's gonna give that to me to save!

 

[pampchefrhondab]

I thought it sounded like a tax sale (like I said before). My first hint was that it was listed in the paper and going up for auction w/o you having to leave the house.

Well hopefully you can get it paid before the auction, if not it sounds like you can pay up. Maybe it won't eve sell w/the economy - you can always hope.

Best of luck and keep us posted.

 

[Lisa/ChefBear]

I am very familiar with the tax sales, so we will just have to wait til auction, then pay off whoever bids on ours.

Unless IL is drastically different than PA or NY, if my neighbors house goes up for Back Taxes and I bid and pay off their back taxes, that property and all it owes becomes mine.

My neighbors can't come to me later and pay me off, as that's my property now, not theirs.

HTH,

Lisa

PS,
I would tread carefully before going forward with a relationship where your payments on your home and children's home are not being taken care of. That would be a first for me. I'd go without Christmas myself and cut WAY back for my kids so we would have roof over head.

 

[candiejayne]

I don't have any kids, his son lives with us.

In IL, when taxes are sold, and the auction is held, the people bidding bid an interest rate. the person who bids the lowest rate buys the taxes. You then have 1 year to pay off the "loan", if you do not, then they have the rights to file for a deed to the property. The area I work in has about 10,000 parcels, and only about 5 per year actually lose the house due to the taxes. I think we have an excellent set up for people to redeem themselves. I have always thought that, and think so even more now!

This isn't me defending him, but it's my fault too for not getting involved in all of the finances. When we moved in, we discussed what I could afford to help with, and we set up an arrangement that I paid certain bills for the house, plus provided all of the food/household items like soaps and shampoos and cleaning supplies, stuff like that. I'm not always an angel keeping up on the bills myself, and I think it's rotten of me because those bills are in his name, not mine. It's his credit I'm messing with, not my own. I wasn't around when he bought this house, so honestly, I have no say in what happens to it. If we were married, it'd be a whole different story! If he wanted to kick me out tomorrow with no good reason, I have no choice but to leave. This is his house and if he doesn't want to pay for it, thats his right. It may affect me, but I'll survive. I can make it on my own, but I don't want to. I love him, and I'll stand by him.

I'm not new to all of this game playing crap, I spent 8 years married to a creep who was abusive in many ways. He is nothing like my ex, atleast my BF can hold a job. He might be laid off right now, but it's not his choice to not work, and he does what he can on the side, people just are not looking for people in the construction field right now, especially people who do a specialty trade like him. I've sat there and watched him fill out tons of applications, and I've written out the envelopes, stamped them, and personally mailed them.

I guess what I'm saying is people screw up, I'm not big on giving second chances, but for him I will. He's not like any other guy I've dated or known. He's really a good guy.

2 years ago, I had a vehicle repossesed, I was going through a divorce, and I couldn't afford both car payments plus everything else. I'm still paying the debt from my marriage, and I will be for a long time. My BF doesn't know about all of the money I owe, is that wrong of me to keep it from him, or is it alright that I just don't feel he needs to be bothered with my past? He knows I have debt, but no where near the extent that I have. If he's so bad right now, then so am I!

 

[pamperedlinda]

................ I'm still paying the debt from my marriage, and I will be for a long time. My BF doesn't know about all of the money I owe, is that wrong of me to keep it from him, or is it alright that I just don't feel he needs to be bothered with my past? He knows I have debt, but no where near the extent that I have. If he's so bad right now, then so am I!

I think you both need to have a good, strong, open, and honest heart to heart if you want this relationship to move forward and to last. How would you feel if he had the financial past that you do and you didn't find out about it until after you were married (if you two decide to get married)? Once you are married, his debt becomes yours and your debt is his (at least it is in GA).....think about it Is your love is strong enough to handle that too.

I had a bf a long time ago that I was very much in love with, we even talked about getting married and having a family and I was expecting a ring any day! One day I found out about his financial situation - he owed a lot of money to his ex, his mom, and he hadn't paid his taxes in 5 years....he made very good money too. This was in the 80's and he made over $100k annually - he chose to piss away his money instead of taking care of his obligations. He borrowed money from his mom to pay his back taxes and then on his way home he stopped by a car dealership 'just to look' and came home with a brand new $40k car!

If you two can't be honest with each other - at least be honest to yourself! (I'm not trying to be hurtful towards you - just brutally honest.) Be careful please.

 

[mscharf]

I would NOT even MENTION the word marriage until ALL of your cards are on the table. Marriage is hard enough without secrets, it will never last unless you both know ALL of what you are getting in to.

I also don't believe in one person handling all of the money and the other getting an "allowance". Is he your child or partner. It sounds like together you need to go over EVERY bill, little or big, and set a very STRICT budget. Do it together, or he might resent you for not being able to buy a hamburger because it was not in his allowance!!!

Don't get me wrong, my husband and I don't sit down every day and go over everything, but we did in the beginning. He has free reign on all of our accounts, but he honestly won't buy anything with out talking to me about it. Not because he needs my permission, but because we don't spend without talking, it avoids having the fight later! It works!!

My best advice, Don't try to save him, get all of the facts and if you want to stay then figure out a game plan together and implement it TOGETHER.

 

[Chef Michelle D]

I feel you need to tell him about your past all of it the good, the bad, and the ugly. Just as he should tell you everything. How long have you been together? I agree you can't have secrets if you plan on staying together for ever married or not. I really hope all this works out for you and your family. Good Luck.

 

[wadesgirl]

By the way, in most states you have to give 30 days notice to "evict" someone from your house. Even if the house is in his name, he couldn't legally kick you out like you mentioned. I'm glad that you figured it all out and are on top of taking care of everything! I hope the new years brings great things for you! And I do hope that you could be honest with him about your money issues too. He needs to know, as much as it is about you, he is a part of your life.