Will We Lose Our Home? Need Help During Financial Struggle.

[candiejayne]

I've known money has been extremely tight around here lately, but I had NO IDEA that it was this bad. Our house was in the newspaper this week for forclosure! We have been fighting with the bank for a few days now. I didn't know my BF was struggling to make the house payments, if I would have known, I would have done more to help out financially. He is out of work right now, and I am struggling to make ends meet myself. PC saved Christmas, for the kids atleast.

I really don't know what is going to happen. We have about one month before the house goes up for auction. We are trying to get the bank to work with us, but they act like nothing is happening. They can't even give us any straight answers. My BF says he has been making the payments, just late every month, but I'm so confused as to what exactly is going on. Alls I know is that in just over a month we could be homeless.

I'm super scared right now. To top things off, my BF is at the ER right now. The side of his face has swollen up and his whole mouth hurts. He's been gone for a couple hours and still no word from him. I wanted to go with, but someone has to stay here with his son.

I'm not a religous person, but I'm desperate right now. We could use a miracle of some kind!

 

[Gina M]

Andrea,

I'm praying for you - I hope you guys get something resolved with the bank and that your house stays with you. And that your boyfriend is okay - did he have an infection? Or allergic reaction? Sending good thoughts your way!

 

[DebbieJ]

If you have any money at all in retirement accounts, now would be the time to liquidate those and save your house.Then, go to www.daveramsey.com/fpu and find yourself a Financial Peace Class.

 

[Kitchen2u]

Many prayers coming your way...

 

[raebates]

You're in my prayers.

 

[gailz2]

I guess if you are living with someone, married or not, you really need to keep a better handle on your finances/joint and single. One of you, probably him if it is in his name, needs to make an appt. with the bank and sit down with them, asap. If this is your residence, he needs to be honest with you about it, as well.My prayers go to all of you to save the house and get out of this situation. It may be time to call upon family for loans. But, you need to meet with the bank, first.

 

[chefcharity]

My thoughts and prayers are with you. Is your BF any better? You said he was in the ER last night.....

 

[dianevill]

Andrea,

You'll be in my prayers. Hope your BF is feeling better, too.

 

[heather223]

Thoughts and prayers coming your way!

 

[babywings76]

I've known money has been extremely tight around here lately, but I had NO IDEA that it was this bad. Our house was in the newspaper this week for forclosure! We have been fighting with the bank for a few days now. I didn't know my BF was struggling to make the house payments, if I would have known, I would have done more to help out financially. He is out of work right now, and I am struggling to make ends meet myself. PC saved Christmas, for the kids atleast.I really don't know what is going to happen. We have about one month before the house goes up for auction. We are trying to get the bank to work with us, but they act like nothing is happening. They can't even give us any straight answers. My BF says he has been making the payments, just late every month, but I'm so confused as to what exactly is going on. Alls I know is that in just over a month we could be homeless.I'm super scared right now. To top things off, my BF is at the ER right now. The side of his face has swollen up and his whole mouth hurts. He's been gone for a couple hours and still no word from him. I wanted to go with, but someone has to stay here with his son.I'm not a religous person, but I'm desperate right now. We could use a miracle of some kind!

He needs to go to a dentist... could be an abscessed tooth! (used to be a dental assistant)Depending on which tooth it is, he may want to have it removed. It's not ideal... but it's the cheapest and fastest fix. Once the source of the infection is gone, he'll feel a lot better. He may need antibiotics just to be sure to clear up any lingering bacteria.

 

[merego]

I used to be an underwriter and worked for a mortgage company and dealt with foreclosures for 13 years up until 3 years ago and I still do some contract work here and there. You need to find out from your b/f if the payments are more than 1 month late every month. The banks right now don't want all these houses back and banks have been working with people, you just have to find the right person to talk to and be persisitant. You will also recieve notices, many of them before your house goes into foreclosure. Good friends of ours live in a million dollar neighborhood ( must be nice, I know), their neighbors bought more house than they could afford, he lost his job and that was over 1 year ago and they still have not gone into foreclosure yet.
I am not familiar with IL guidelines, but I know several others and it seems like something is missing. I am not trying to worry you or doubt your b/f, but he may have been trying to not cause you any stress by keeping this from you.
I hope things work out for you and will be sending good thoughts your way and I hope your bf is feeling better.

 

[twinchefs]

Sending prayers.

 

[cookin to the top]

Have you gotten any word from your b/f? Is he ok? My prayers are with you both.

 

[pcchefjane]

I am praying for you both. You really need to call the bank if the house is in your name! With so many people going into foreclosure, if he was only "late a couple of times", it would not be in foreclosure. My DD & SIL got notice they can refinance their mortgage to a lower interest rate yesterday. They are going to see if they can switch to their Credit Union. They have had late payments since June but always paid the mortgage each month.

I hope he is okay. Does really sound like an abcessed tooth. I've had 2 and that is exactly what they do!

 

[pampchefrhondab]

Wow, I'm so sorry you are going through this and am praying for you!

I don't know much about foreclosure, but agree w/others you need to get with the bank as soon as possible.

I hope your BF is okay. My brother once had a disease that only affected one half of his face, but his was numb. I don't remember what it was called, but hope that's not what your BF has.

May God Bless all of you.

 

[janetupnorth]

Wow, I'm so sorry you are going through this and am praying for you!

I don't know much about foreclosure, but agree w/others you need to get with the bank as soon as possible.

I hope your BF is okay. My brother once had a disease that only affected one half of his face, but his was numb. I don't remember what it was called, but hope that's not what your BF has.

May God Bless all of you.

Probably: Guillain-Barre Syndrome

 

[candiejayne]

Thanks everyone, we are having a heck of a time getting the bank to talk to us. Luckily for me, the house is in his name. He's fighting with the banks, and I'm preparing for the worst. I'm researching housing in our area for rent. He's trying to cash out his annuity to "fix it", he's also going to talk to a friend who will eventually owe him some money after he restores his car to see if he can't get an advance from him. If anything, we want to postpone things for a bit with the bank, the next board meeting for the annuity company isnt until Feb. 18th, but the auction date for the house is set for January 20th. We are hoping a few thousand dollars will make them happy for a little while, atleast until we can get more.

As far as his face, OMG!!!!, I came home from work today and was shocked to see it swelled up even more! It is an infection in a tooth. He has an appointment for the middle of January to have about 10 teeth pulled and partials or something put in, implants? maybe? He's not in as much pain tonight, but the vicadine is helping, and hopefully by morning the antibiotics will be working and the swelling will go down.

I decided today that it's time to put PC into full gear and really start making some money! Looks like it's gonna be a rough ride ahead of us! Isn't gonna be a cheap ride either!

Thank you all for your advice and prayers! I'll keep you updated!

PS- I dunno if I should laugh about this, or think myself as pathetic, but one of my first thoughts was s*** now I have to order a new stamp and new business cards... bad me! LOL Guess I gotta keep humoring myself with silly stuff like that otherwise I'd go insane!

 

[pcchefjane]

You still need for him to be honest with you. If he has made all the payments, they would not be foreclosing! They don't do that over "late" payments!

 

[SeeMe4PC]

Good Luck Andrea - You are all in my prayers

 

[candiejayne]

I'm slowly getting him to talk to me about it. We had a bit of time without his son home tonight. He won't tell me what he is behind though. I've asked a few times and he says he doesn't know, and the bank wont tell him. I know he's hiding it, but I don't want to start a fight over it, he's stubborn and will tell me when he's ready.

In the meantime, I'm preparing for us to move. I'm looking for somewhere, cause there is no way I'm going back to my parents house, and I definatly am not going to his parents house! NOWAY LOL! There is a house for sale on this street, its been on the market for quite a long time. We know the owners, we are pretty confident that they would rent to us since its not selling, but I'm not sure I could live there and look at our house everyday knowing that we lost it.

I'm worried about our dog too. Most places around here don't let you have pets. We couldn't give him away, he's mean to people he doesn't know. He's strictly a guard dog, except with us and the kids, he loves them. We'd probably have to put him down. That would break my heart!

 

[candiejayne]

Ohhh, I had a question that maybe someone knows the answer to. Once the auction takes place, I know its up to the new owners to evict us, but does anyone know normally how long that procedure takes?

 

[pampchefrhondab]

Are you sure this auction is due to foreclosure from the bank? It sounds like it is due to back taxes to me. Most foreclosures from a bank round here are just put on the market for sale - not an auction. They do auction for back taxes though. When that happens the old owners have 1 year still to come up w/the back taxes.

 

[DebbieJ]

You still need for him to be honest with you. If he has made all the payments, they would not be foreclosing! They don't do that over "late" payments!

Yeah, this is not only a financial problem, but it is a relationship problem. If your house is being auctioned in a month, he has missed more than just a few payments.

 

[pamperedlinda]

I know we are talking about your bf here, but be very careful. Do not marry this man! There are way too many secrets and more importantly (right now anyhow) his financial problems become yours if you are married!

 

[gailz2]

You sure have a lot going on and a lot of decisions to make at this otherwise happy time of year. My thoughts and prayers are with you to lead you along the right path.

 

[ljeffries]

I read your questions/vent several times before I decided to respond. This may sound harsh to a lot of people, but I'm gonna say it anyway:
1. Your b/f is a liar and dishonest, plain and simple. 'The bank won't tell us'? 'The bank won't talk'? That is a bunch of crap. If he (or you if you are on the mortgage or the deed) won't take the time to go to the actual bank office, then too bad.
2. Banks don't foreclose unless they absolutely have no other option. And, it doesn't happen because of late payments. It happens because of NO payments - and lots of them.
3. According to what you said about looking for housing in your area, and that you know your b/f is not telling you everything - then why, WHY are you staying in that situation??? You are accepting what he tells you and just going along. THis is called enabling. Your situation with him will never, EVER change.
4. Don't blame the bank. Not their fault - he should have records of paying the mortgage. I am sure he does not pay in cash, so surely there is a canceled check, money order receipt or bank draft that he can produce to show that he has paid.

Ok, finished now. I just get so frustrated with folks who won't and don't take responsibility for themselves and always point the finger of blame to somewhere or someone else.

 

[mscharf]

My best advice would be to take things one step at a time. I know you said you are not a religious person, but you were hoping for a miracle. There is only one who creates those "miracles", and you might want to turn to Him!! Reach out to a church, in my opinion this is where you are going to find the help you really need. Religion, financial counseling, financial help, and the love and support it takes to get through something like this. It is so much easier to get through the tough times, when you know he has a plan, but if you need someone to lean on there are a lot of warm bodies willing to help. I am praying for you.

 

[BadGirl]

Return your Christmas present and apply that money to the outstanding mortgage payments. Although it's unlikely that the presents will bring in a whole lot of money, it'll help.

Having a home to call their own, is what matters most to kids. What's the point of having cool Christmas toys and games if they are living in a homeless shelter?



The only thing that I could come up with regarding the "late" payments is that perhaps your bf's bank collects the mortgage money and applies money first to the outstanding late fees, leaving which then leaves an outstanding balance on the actual mortgage payment. As a result of the late fees coming out of the payment first, you'll always have an outstanding morgtgage balance.

Your boyfriend is a liar. Banks nowadays are doing everything possible to KEEP you in your home. He must have effed up pretty badly for you to already have an auction date in a few weeks.

 

[heather223]

I hate to be harsh too- but he is lying to you. When I decided to leave my children's father 2 years ago he was 3 months behind on the mortgage to his house.... It was over a YEAR before the bank finally auctioned the house off.

I know you said money was tight... but that doesn't mean it is right or ok for him to plain lie to you.

It irrates me when people who are a couple, whether married or not, don't discuss finances.

I really hope things get better.... for your housing situation and for your relationship.

 

[janetupnorth]

Andrea - You're reading some blunt things above, but please take them with kindness...they are speaking the truth from experience. If there is a future for you two, he HAS to be open. If he can't be open with you two living together, what will a ring or a marriage certificate do to change that?He needs to sit down and be honest.He needs to have a strict budget.You guys need to focus on the 4 walls of your house.Like everyone said, foreclosure doesn't happen overnight. There is warning after warning to people. To have an auction in less than 1 month, warnings have been ignored and lots of payments not made. He needs to decide what is important to him and act now.I'd personally be upset if I received a nice gift or a ring as you expect and didn't have a roof over my head.Good luck! You'll get lots of good advice and support here, please be wise.