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Pampered Chef: Personal Why I've been MIA...

  1. candiejayne

    candiejayne Veteran Member

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    I don't know where to start. A week ago Friday, my BF and I sat down and had a long talk. We decided together that with all that had been going on in the house (his son was mentally and physically abusive towards me) that it was best if right now I move out and give him time to try to get his son some help without me there to complicate things. It was a mutual agreement. By Sunday I had my things moved out of his house and back into my parents until I could save enough money to safely get my own apartment.

    We have talked every day on the phone since then, and I even went and spent a couple hours with him one night this week after his son went to bed. Everything seemed fine.

    Yesterday I got an email from his daughters mother telling me to remove all pictures of her daughter from my myspace page since him and I weren't together anymore. I wrote her back telling her that she didn't know what she was talking about. That him and I were together, that I just moved out.

    I was awoken by a text message this morning from him saying that it was over between us. I tried to call him to see why and he turned his phone off. So I got up, went online to see if there were any explanitory emails or anything. When I got on, I had another message from her. She told me to remove the pictures now, that him and I aren't together because he was back with her.

    I am so mad right now that he didn't have the courage to tell me the truth a week ago, and that he's avoiding me now.

    I have been in somewhat of a funk all week, and temporarily lost my desires for everything, including PC. I know that I will get over it, but right now, I just don't have the motivation for much.

    I really thought his guy was the one for me. I know some of you remember some of our problems in the past, but they really were minor in the overall of things. Although, maybe I should have listened to all of you advice then. Might have spared me the pain now.


    ;) So, anyone got any single brothers LOL! jk Thought I'd end this with a joke! Anything I can do to lighten my mood! LOL
     
    May 10, 2009
    #1
  2. wadesgirl

    wadesgirl Legend Member Gold Member

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    Sorry to hear about this. Sounds like he's an all around dishonest guy (I remember your previous issues). You are so much better off without him and his lack of support for you as a person.
     
    May 10, 2009
    #2
  3. janezapchef

    janezapchef Veteran Member Gold Member

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    I'm so sorry you are going through this! I haven't been on much lately, so, I'm not sure of the other issues. But, it sounds like (even though there's no way to feel this way right now) he is doing you a favor. Dishonesty is something that really can't be fixed! Positive thoughts coming your way!
     
    May 10, 2009
    #3
  4. The_Kitchen_Guy

    The_Kitchen_Guy Legend Member Silver Member

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    I'd use a photo editor and paint mustaches on her.
     
  5. Intrepid_Chef

    Intrepid_Chef Legend Member Silver Member

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    I am so sorry for all that drama!

    And from a fellow singleton, let me just say that as hard as it may be to be alone right now, the last thing you need at this time is another man! Use this time to work on yourself and the other relationships in your life. I would rather be single the rest of my life than unhappy in a relationship.

    Just my 2 cents.
     
    May 10, 2009
    #5
  6. Jolie_Paradoxe

    Jolie_Paradoxe Senior Member Gold Member

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    LOL.....ah, to listen to our inner meanie!

    I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this mess. Better to learn his inability to be honest before getting married. Even so, I am sorry you have to endure the heartache and disappointed feeling of being let down by one you believed was good and meant for you.

    Praying God help through this time and guide you to the one who will be honest and value you as you deserve to be.
     
  7. babyicebean

    babyicebean Member

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    What a charmer!

    I have a single, quite presentable brother - want me to Fed-Ex him over to you?
     
    May 10, 2009
    #7
  8. Sorry to hear about your situation. That is low, low,low and hurts even worse that he couldn't tell you what is going on. You are better off without him if that is the way he is, but I know lit hurts a lot. Hugs, and wishes to find someone much better to you!
     
    May 10, 2009
    #8
  9. AnnieBee

    AnnieBee Veteran Member Gold Member

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    So sorry to hear this, especially as things seemed to have been getting better. Try to take some time with good friends and family who will be supportive and keep you smiling, but also have a shoulder for you to cry on.

    Remember you can always "talk" to us too!
     
    Last edited: May 10, 2009
    May 10, 2009
    #9
  10. pampered.chris

    pampered.chris Veteran Member Gold Member

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    Andrea!! I am so sorry about all of this. It is too bad that he didn't have the "guts" to be honest with you and to tell you what was going on.

    I am wishing you the best right now and the strength to get through this.
     
  11. kcmckay

    kcmckay Advanced Member Gold Member

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    That totally sucks. I'm really sorry about that. And what a cowardly way to end things. Via text message really?? You will realize in time you are better off without someone like that. You definitely have the right attitude. I do agree though that another relationship is probably the last thing you need. Spend some you time enjoying what you want to do and your family and friends. Good luck and I hope you're desire for PC comes back full force!!! (((hugs)))
     
    May 10, 2009
    #11
  12. pampchefsarah

    pampchefsarah Senior Member Gold Member

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    My daughter's boyfriend broke up with her via text message. He's 17. If your ex can't behave in a more mature fashion than a teenager, you're way too good for him.

    If you have pictures of his daughter on Myspace because you truly care about her, then I would let the mother know this, in a friendly manner. If not, then you may as well remove them (I know, you didn't ask for advice about this, but I'm really bad about keeping my advice to myself). You might also want to be generous enough to tell this other woman exactly how he broke up with you - because he probably won't treat her any better.

    The funk you're in is understandable - you're grieving the loss of a serious relationship. I agree with others, turn to your friends and loved ones for emotional support, but don't pressure yourself to feel all better tomorrow.
     
  13. pamperedlinda

    pamperedlinda Legend Member Gold Member

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    I was wondering where you were! So sorry to hear this. He is a weenie and you deserve so much better!

    Hugs!
     
  14. etteluap70PC

    etteluap70PC Legacy Member Gold Member

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    What a jerk... well something did seem a bit off but that does not matter at this point or maker you feel better...

    Concentrate on yourself, surrounding yourself with those that care about you and throw yourself into your biz! You will be greatly rewarded!
     
    May 10, 2009
    #14
  15. PamperedDor

    PamperedDor Senior Member Gold Member

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    Girl - Message me on FB - if you need to talk - so sorry you are dealing with this - [[HUGS}}
     
    May 10, 2009
    #15
  16. rennea

    rennea Legacy Member Gold Member

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    I kind of knew something was up but didn't want to pry. I'm so sorry to hear that you have to go through this. He has showen you his true colors, best to be rid of him! Take some time out to treat your self and take time to get back on your feet girl!!
     
    May 10, 2009
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  17. scottcooks

    scottcooks Veteran Member Gold Member

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    Sorry to have to ask, but could the new "GF" possibly have swiped his phone and texted? Maybe I've seen too many TV dramas lately (hmm--judging from my commissionable sales, probably so!) but I wouldn't give up on this until you have a live conversation - not telephone, not text, not email.

    Take a good friend and go find out for certain. Do NOT go all by yourself.
     
    May 10, 2009
    #17
  18. candiejayne

    candiejayne Veteran Member

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    :D I LOVE ALL OF YOU!!!! I am feeling much better now. I have decided I have no tears for cheaters/liars. In another message from her she said that he came back to her 2 weeks ago. That explains a lot. Everything is coming together and the picture is much much clearer. I'm not going to fall for their head games and for that I AM the better person.

    babyicebean, its so funny you say that. My best friend and I were just talking this week about that subject. She lives 1500 miles from me and with all this going on, she wants me to come for a visit to take my mind off things. Neither of us has the money for me to fly down, so she says she's gonna ship me there, but not FedEx cause she works for UPS, but the same concept.

    Now I'm mad about the few things I left at his house. I have learned this week that both of my digital camaras are out there, and I left some things being nice, thinking he was going to be struggling being a single dad. So, I want my stuff back LOL. I'm debating if I want to persue the issue, or just let it be and worry about it later. Right now let it be is sounding pretty good.
     
    May 10, 2009
    #18
  19. candiejayne

    candiejayne Veteran Member

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    scott, i never thought about that.... either way it happened, i'm done with him. even if it is her pulling a one over on me, with her being his daughters mother, she would never be out of my life if I went back to him. I'm better off this way. :)
     
    May 10, 2009
    #19
  20. pamperedlinda

    pamperedlinda Legend Member Gold Member

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    remembering all the crappy stuff helps you get over it much quicker!

    You deserve to be treated well - thank him for the opportunity to find a better person...and when you meet that better person, send him a thank you note! LOL

    HUGS!!!!
     
  21. dianevill

    dianevill Senior Member Gold Member

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    Andrea, I am so sorry for what you are going through. I know this doesn't make it any easier, and you'll have a lot of emotions to get through, but you ARE too good for him. You deserve so much better...

    Big hugs!
     
    May 10, 2009
    #21
  22. BettieC

    BettieC Member Gold Member

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    I agree with everyone else....You DO deserve better......
     
    May 10, 2009
    #22
  23. dkitten13

    dkitten13 Member

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    I am so sorry, I know how hard it is to be with cheaters and weaklings. You are definitely too good for him even thought I don't know you! I would not let the stuff there go; if you don't have someone to go with you maybe try calling the police to see if they will escort you there to get your things...you mentioned his son being somewhat abusive and the way his ex is behaving is a little harrowing. I'll pray for you healing and keep you head high!
     
    May 10, 2009
    #23
  24. wadesgirl

    wadesgirl Legend Member Gold Member

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    Def. go back and get your stuff!
     
    May 10, 2009
    #24
  25. scottcooks

    scottcooks Veteran Member Gold Member

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    true. You are a caring, sensitive person - who deserves the best in life. Write a list of the stuff you need back and MAIL it to them. While he may be a struggling dad, he was dishonest (same as not revealing his heart for 2 weeks) and the stuff isn't his/theirs.

    Get on the phone tonight - after 7pm and book a couple shows... you'll feel like the awesome, fierce, capable person you ARE!
     
    May 10, 2009
    #25
  26. Dina Atnip

    Dina Atnip Advanced Member Gold Member

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    Andrea anytime you need to talk just let me know and I will listen. I will lend you all the support you need, I am so he did not physical hurt you we would all have to hunt him down. Just remember you have lots of friends here.
     
    May 10, 2009
    #26
  27. Ann F

    Ann F Advanced Member Gold Member

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    Andrea, my heart aches for you. I can certainly empathize.
    I don't think you need advice right now, just lots of hugs and prayers. Ready? Catch! {{{{ hugs }}}}

    (And I know about wondering if text msgs are from "him" or "her.")
     
    May 10, 2009
    #27
  28. chefsteph07

    chefsteph07 Legacy Member

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    I'm very sorry to hear this!
    After everything you went through, defending his behaviour, putting up w/ his son, etc. You definitely did not deserve to be treated like this.
    Yes, I would at least get my cameras back. You don't need that B**** using it!
     
    May 10, 2009
    #28
  29. susanr613

    susanr613 Senior Member Gold Member

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    well that just sucks! andrea, i am so sorry things ended this way, especially after all you have done for him. i would definitely write to him to get your things back.

    as someone who has given to takers three too many times and wound up worse off for it, i agree with di that it's better to be alone than in a bad relationship.

    now you can focus your kindness and energy on yourself and your life.
     
    May 10, 2009
    #29
  30. pampered.chris

    pampered.chris Veteran Member Gold Member

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    I agree with everyone else. Get your stuff back NOW. I left a house/relationship years back and realized later that I forgot some things and I did start "demanding" them back right away. I gave a list a very detailed specific list and went as far as to send a copy to his mother (she was one of the many reasons I left, had some issues allowing him to live) and I got some, but not all of my things back. But be specific and get everything back, it is yours and while you were being nice, he isn't.

    Again, I am so sorry that you have to go through all of this. I really hope that everything goes up from here for you. You deserve so much more!!

    (Like your stuff back...)
     
  31. tlag1986

    tlag1986 Veteran Member Gold Member

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    Andrea I'm so sorry you had to go through all of this. He is losing someone very special. I hope you realize you are loved. I will pray for your comfort. God brought you to this, and He will bring you through it. {{{{HUGS}}}}
     
    May 10, 2009
    #31
  32. Crystal Patton

    Crystal Patton Advanced Member

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    Hon ... I have no words (at least not nice ones), other than I am thinking of you. (((HUGS)))
     
  33. candiejayne

    candiejayne Veteran Member

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    I sent him a message earlier that I wanted my things back, and told him what things. I also told him that we could swap my stuff for his keys (PO Box, house and truck) at that same time. No response. One of his friends is willing to go do the swap for me, so that helps.

    Crystal!!!! For not being too tech savvy, you did a great job of tracking me down. Thank you for the text/phone call tonight! It was awesome to talk with you.

    All of you have made me feel not so alone, and given me that umph I needed to get my head on straight!
     
    May 10, 2009
    #33
  34. Crystal Patton

    Crystal Patton Advanced Member

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    My first reaction was to send my DH over with a baseball bat, but DH doesn't do those things any more. LOL

    It was awsome to talk with you too! Keep your chin up and call me any time!!
     
  35. raebates

    raebates Legend Member Staff Member

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    I'm so sorry you're going through this. Allow yourself some time to grieve, whine, and wallow. We're here for you.
     
    May 11, 2009
    #35
  36. chefsteph07

    chefsteph07 Legacy Member

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    No response? How interesting. I wonder since you have the keys if you could call the police dept and get your things back. Wouldn't that be considered stolen property if he doesn't give them back? I'd think the cameras might be worth a little something. I'd think you could at least file a report and put a scare into him and the little wench.
     
    May 11, 2009
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  37. candiejayne

    candiejayne Veteran Member

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    LOL that cracked me up! But it would be nice, one quick swing to his right knee and he'd be outta commission for weeks!
     
    May 11, 2009
    #37
  38. candiejayne

    candiejayne Veteran Member

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    Steph, I am going to email him this afternoon and tell him I'm coming with the police to get my things if he doesn't get them to me by.... I haven't decided when yet. I would just go on my lunch break today and walk in, but my luck she would be there, and since she doesn't have a car I wouldn't be able to tell. PLUS, her parents live right across the street. Her step mom is the biggest gossip EVER too!
     
    May 11, 2009
    #38
  39. janetupnorth

    janetupnorth Legend Member Gold Member

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    Until Then - author unknown

    "I love you my child, and until you discover that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with Me—exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or longings. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow Me to bring it to you. You just keep watching Me expecting the greatest things. Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you. You must wait.

    Don’t be anxious and don’t worry. Don’t look around at the things you think you want. Just keep looking off and away up to Me, or you’ll miss what I have to show you.

    And then, when you are ready, I’ll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any you would ever dream. You see, until you are ready, and until the one I have for you is ready, I am working this minute to have both of you ready at the same time. And until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I’ve prepared for you, you won’t be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me, and this is Perfect Love.

    And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me, and enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and love that I offer you with Myself. Know I love you. I am God Almighty, believe and be satisfied… "

    [​IMG]
     
    May 11, 2009
    #39
  40. LeslieSGI

    LeslieSGI Member Gold Member

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    So true! We have missed you around here. Welcome back! ​
     
    May 11, 2009
    #40
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